So I was drinking coffee watching The Price Is Right. I thought what would it be like to *Certain Adult thing (hope I won't get in trouble for different word and meaning) *Certain Adult Thing and I would like each other and I would like *Certain Adult Thing. I never did *Certain Adult Thing, before. That My Certain Spirits Won't do certain*Adult Thing. Then more thoughts started pouring in. I believe it's my Spirits? I try to talk to myself in head way before this, but it echos and I don't like it. I know my Depression is terrible and have been way terrible of late due to Holidays.

But I'm not doing well in bonding process. In which the thoughts understand why. As well I'm unable to still choose only one. To get to know better. In which I prefer bonding with everyone same time. But same time I'm not doing Process Much, Due to my Depression getting hold of me. In which taking over everything.

They, least think was my Spirits. Will help me with my Depression even more. In which they also understand why I not pushing myself. But yet, even though they are not mad at me. Only one is, but it's not my Spirits Nor my Living Entity's. A certain someone is little upset with me. Least according to one of these thoughts.

"She don't understand why you not pushing yourself. She knows you have problems and Understands. But she is very disappointed of what your not doing as well as not Pushing yourself. She is very sad and little upset. But she would like to help you in your Journey."

I asked does it have to do with the dream I had? Is she was the One I saw? Was She me in my Past Life. (Which all was yes) I also asked, Was She (Past Self) a Spirit Keeper Once. Besides Black Arts, Did she also had WA and DA to? (These where yes to, In which I learned about BA and She Practiced Magick and was a Coven from Pendulum, I wrote here. http://www.creepyhollows.com/phpBB3/topic71146.html )

I asked Is she currently living inside myself? "yes, but she also sees what you see and knows what you do, She is very disappointed in you as well as mad. But understands why You holding up. She don't think your treating your Spirits Fairly. But she wants you to push yourself, She wants you to become something better. To achieve many great heights, the World has never seen before. That is if your willing to push yourself and accept her help. You where meant to be a Spirit Keeper. There was a reason why you are now, as well as see your first Spirit in rocking chair and Fairy when was a Child.

You were meant to become a great Spirit Keeper. Like she once was, during her time in your past life. There was a reason why you saw that dream of her as well as Frightened. There was a reason why she went through the window as well as the lute. She was Frightened you will be reckless and not care your self. She also went to through the window. Because she was disappointed in you. You are giving up, as well as not pushing yourself in this, your current life. But she is not giving up on you so easily. She will help you, if you would let her. Just remember she was a Spirit Keeper before. She Knows what she is doing. In which you don't know what your doing. Least your current self. Your past self does know in what she doing. Trust in her. Trust in your past self. She is not warning you in the dream you saw. She wants to get your attention in the dream That your ready for her help. She wanted you to see her. But in the right time and right Opportunity. Hence why she Looked straight at you in the dream. then let her gaze wander from side to side in room. Before leaving through the Window with hint of Fear. The time has now come, But only you, your current self.

Will let her, your past self. Help you and lead you to a better current you. As for the Lute, She is gifted in creativity as well as freedom. That's what the lute represents. She is the one who also helps you write long things. She is the one who knows what works best for you, as she did once herself during your past life time. Letting loose your emotion in writing, is a freedom mechanism in a sense. But if you want to see her again. We will help you to see her again, when the time is right. But you must be willing to become greater than you are and push yourself more. Treat your Spirits better. Just remember she was a Spirit keeper before. She knows the ends and outs. She is watching you.

Don't let your Depression get to you. Show the World of what you can do. Push for greatness and outmost believe not only your current self. But also Believe your Past self whom lives inside you and Share same body as well. Don't give up, always be willing. Be brave, Seek her advice. Let her, your past self help you. She is here for you, she will help you. But embrace her and accept your journey. Accept that you are what you was meant to be in this current life as well as your past. But don't loose hope and never ever give up. She wants to help you, but we will help you on your journey as well. But She will help you more."

So I'm honestly not sure if this is from my other Spirits thoughts or my own. I always echo when try to speak myself in thought. Hence I prefer speaking aloud. But know makes more sense about the dream I had if it was my Past Self. I'm really not sure. I'm still new with Pendulum hence need 2nd source. I don't think my thoughts count to. But I can't honestly stop thinking. Maybe I was actually Her. Maybe She was my Past Self. I know I was suggested to learn more about myself before seeking out a Living Coven. But I think I found my inner self. Maybe that's what I was supposed to search for? Maybe it's why usually tend to live in the past. But what if She was actually my former past life? Now I understand why I living in the past. Because I'm not yet ready to move forward. with out her Guidance. But I'm ready to move Forward, If I let her help me in my current self. But If I was also meant to become a Spirit Keeper again. If it's true. I unsure if I should trust my thoughts honestly. I haven't seen her in a different dream. But can see her throughout the day. Like kinda like a vision of sorts? I think. But if she My Past Self still living in my Current self and Still watching. I wonder would these link work from CH and Would She be found if my thoughts are indeed correct as well as Pendulum and the dream about Her? I believe she Is honestly real to me. I explains on why I feel like I know her, In which I do. If it was indeed my Past Self, She wanted to get in touch with me.

I know this is not past lives service, but close enough https://shop.creepyhollows.com/WHO-AM-I ... D-YOU.html

Not a Past life to. Need to save money, but sounds interesting. https://shop.creepyhollows.com/THE-BIRT ... ANING.html

I have to save. But I wonder If I would be able to find Her. If she was my Past Life? https://shop.creepyhollows.com/PAST-LIV ... -LONG.html

I could purchase this. But I think I'll wait until I do the one above me.I just want to know if it was really Her. My Past life I saw. As well as my thoughts and Pendulum.https://shop.creepyhollows.com/BINDING- ... LIVES.html

How long does the Layaway Stay? If not long or is gone. Probably be 4 months till I get it. without lay away. https://shop.creepyhollows.com/LIGHTNIN ... ITHIN.html

I pretty sure I'm missing more. But I really want to delve in this matter so to speak. Bu if i will help me to become better and learn more about myself. I'm greatly interested. I'm just unsure how 100% accurate is my info via thoughts and Pendulum since I'm sill new with Pendulum and learned Spirits can speak through thoughts to. But still sound my voice though.