Frist I thank Kaliopia and everyone for understanding ... some times negativity and stress get the better of me.... but I am fighting this.... (found a few mantras to help ... Om Shante prashante sarve krodho pasha mani Swaha (ANGER CONTROL) and OM HANU AATMAYA SHANTI(MANTRA FOR DEPRESSION & ANXIETY)
I made a promise to my Sisters
and the Immortals that I have Contact..... going to focus on school(1) and on my spiritual/astral work (1 and 2 as well)... must be MORE discipline and LESS Negative...Collage is going ok.... so is my health..... but emotional and mental....
I LOVE
my family (Mother , grandparents(mother side) aunt (mother sister) and my step uncle and cousin( my best friend.... besides my sisters lol )... but.... *sight*.... a family of stubborn people is difficult...Grandmother
and grandfather have old age (80 is...) and it health problems... especially my grandmother ... she was and IS a very independent and Industrious woman... but lack of mobility do to medic erros and drugs have left her bad.... and it mood suing's.... 
.... some days she is in a sad mood others she is a grumpy angry woman.... but acceptable....My grandfather
.... the only man I can call father in the world 2cy (my father ran away to brazil... don't care any more..... I think)... is the only person besides my aunt that could put everything in controlee and everybody look up to him.... I am proud of my grandfather... but old age is taking is toll, and healthy and my family situation is not helping...My aunt
, helps everyone, and is a BIG helpfully person... but she lives a bit far away and does what she can.... even she as her problems...My mother
1a 2sd ....*sight* 1a ... (OM HANU AATMAYA SHANTI)......Since my parents divorcee and a bit during it... she as always been a woman it HUGE nervous and anxiety problems.... that putting .... the Debts my father left... her job... my family... her on health problems (fiscal and nervous system)... my on house... she is it A LOT of problems and miner grudges over the years and as left her it a sort fuse.... very sort fuse... she almost near a bad mood... especially recently... -__-...
My family and medics, plus acupuncture have been helping her a bit.... and there have been good time s I confess, and I LOVE her, and she is a ward working women, despite her temper she is a good and honest person....
BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE BOXING BAG OF OTHERS? 2an 2ps 2cy (Mentally and emotionally that is)... I now this my sound a bit selfish of my part but.... I am a bit tired off this situation , especially from my mother "stress".... I want my family to be ok and happy and I want to live next to them , but want independence and live alone (I am at that age).
I now, especially my mother don't and are not like this... this is negativity and stress.... but I am so TIERD 2an 2ps 2cy 2ded 2dz of this situation.... on moment we are ok the next looks a WWI artillery barrage (discussion and mood)-_-...
I am tired of this.... really am... and they are SO stubborn (and in this case not in positive term!)... me and my aunt do what he can.... but grandmother and for me MY MOTHER humor-_-.....
OM HANU AATMAYA SHANTI...Om Shante prashante sarve krodho...
By the Emperor and Creator... internally I don't now how I don't become a KHORNE berserker and go nuts... (sorry)
I will go one step and a day at a time.... this mothers day.... it help from grandfather and aunt I managed to but a portable PC to mother for that day and her birthday (present)... lets hope this helps her mood a bit.... I HOPE 2ded 2dz 2sd ....
During my birthday do.... I am going to have A BIG TALK it all of them... change is need id... to all of us...
I want my family ok and what to live on my on place.... for not only my growth but also for my healthy... if I am not ok I am not of help to no one!
IS THIS NORMAL? I ask you....
More to follow
