You talked about Solfeggio... well there is this youtube video with a music i enjoy pretty much to hear sometimes, it really feels good and i have found it rather effective to clearing places:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHSqTJ-3MXA
I understand you, to say the truth, i don't enjoy fight and war neither, and i can relate to what you are saying here. For a example, sometimes, even if a human being annoys me pretty much, i will rather let it go, i will try to forget, to forgive etc...BUT if the person do not stops( i am so patient, that i could take months before i do something!)...well, i can be possessed by my own contained anger...there i go to war, and the person in question will never see it coming,lol!In reaction to your reading I am glad the cards showed something positive. Not something I would disagree with even if it was something I didn't expect. While I was aware I had some natural power I had no idea I had this much, nor that it was my own that is powerful. But as you said I still have much to learn. You are somewhat right about my stance on fighting, though as a whole I don't enjoy fighting and war. I'd rather live the rest of my days without harming a soul even if they deserved it. However not only do I understand the necessity of it, the fight in general isn't what scares me. When I get into a fight, any kind of fight, it brings out this whole other side of me. Strong, but at the same time very angry and sadistic. As in it brings out a side of me, that both enjoys it and at the same time is relentless enough that I wouldn't stop until either I or the person/thing I was fighting is taken down. My heart overall is good, but it has marks on it. I fear that if I embraced that side more it would become my whole life rather than a necessity. I am mostly able to keep it under control, but there are times when I am tempted to bring it out again. That said it should come at no surprise I am born under the fire element.
I am less compassionate towards spirits/ entities, because they can attack you 24/24 and 7/7 in a week,some are ready to "negotiate" if we can tell it like that, others just wants to mess , these are the ones i go into war for total destruction and carnage!^^
But well, i always think, why to spend so much time in anger, when we can use our energy to do wonderful things, for our own profit?
Like you, i avoid spiritual/social war at all costs, but well, sometimes, the situation can get so thick, and you can't run anymore...
Just to say, i understand this dark side of yours, and i am more or less the same, only difference is: i know when i need to come back to my former self,the lovelly one, and it is called "balance"
You know, you can be a total goddess of war in your heart, and still be nurturing and lovelly for the people and other beings you enjoy the company, it is just a matter of training!^^
LOL, there will be no arm dear, stay assured about that!^^I don't know if you sent them already but if you haven't or have some way of contact them, let them know this.
"I appreciate the help you and the companion that sent you all to me and I can assure you, that unless harm is done to me by your hand, I have no reason to fear you. I'm not one to judge a book by it's cover let alone a being by their aura."
I feel sorry about your mom,and i will avoid this subject, it is too intimate, and we have not private messages anymore.Unfortunately without proper communication with the spirit I've been given I couldn't seem to do either.
What spirit have you been given, what kind is him?
PS: i did the first ritual this night, before i have read your message, it went pretty well, rings of bright light energy have fall around you, interesting!^^
Tomorrow will be the next one!^^
Blessings!^^