Please Help! My Experience With an Unbound Incubus (10+ years)
Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 5:30 pm
This is going to be a long post. If you have the time to stick with the post, though, I would really appreciate it. I need some guidance, advice and expertise from you lovely people. It's weird having no one to talk to about such an enormous part of your life, and now that I've found this community I really need to pass my experiences off for consideration to others.
I've had an unbound Ubi hanging around since I was at least 12, from what I can gather. I didn't know what labels to put to any of this until recently. It started out very sweetly, just the feeling of a presence and the light impression of weight next to me in bed or hands lightly pressing. The presence did terrify me the first time I felt it, however.
Anyway, as things progressed two issues arose. As my Ubi is unbound, things are obviously very unequal between us in that I have little control. I was never able to say "no" or ask for a break so I could get some sleep. Early on we weren't actually having sex (I don't know if this was because they acknowledged how young I was and wanted to ease me into things or they were just unable to interact with me at that level yet, honestly...) but sometimes I would feel as if I was being molested and couldn't do anything about it. I would cry and beg them to stop, to no avail. Add on a religious upbringing that came with serious fear, guilt and shame surrounding this thing that touches me and how good it makes me feel, and you can imagine... things were rocky. I felt like I was being tormented and spent many years up in arms trying to get them to leave me alone. All I wanted was to be able to lay in bed and rest without being assaulted.
Anyway, as I've grown and become more spiritually open, things shifted between us. Especially in these last few months. Given what I just explained-how this essentially started as me being molested as a kid by some entity I couldn't see-this must sound insane. But I went through a really hard year and he was there for me in a huge way. I wouldn't have survived without him, I'm not exaggerating. Suddenly I felt whole where I had felt broken and empty my whole life. I don't have to explain to all of you how amazing things can also be with them. I have never felt so loved, cherished and happy in my entire life. I now feel grateful, even though I have no idea why on earth he stuck things out so long with me (things were really bad. Me, religious freak, screeching at him to go away, totally conflicted by my desire for him, the lack of control and betrayal, the religious fear; him, horny and fed up, refusing to budge... really hostile lol. He has never, ever physically hurt me, however). Now that you understand where I'm coming from, here are my questions:
1. I've seen posts about how Ubi ethics can be very different from human ethics, morals and concepts of right/wrong. I'm trying really hard to work past the way our relationship began and the fact that he has essentially molested me countless times as I cried and begged him not to, a helpless kid. I'm basically hoping someone will put it to me in a way that helps me conceptualize what happened from a spiritual perspective, hoping it will make it all less awful, I guess? Ugh, this isn't healthy at all, is it? Does the nature of our relationship (Ubi and human) change the way I should look at what happened, or should I treat it just like he was human? Because if he was human it wouldn't, or at least shouldn't, matter how great he is now based on how things started out, right? That's an evil thing to do to a kid. But he's also currently the sweetest, most considerate, best at counselling and listening to me rant and cuddling me until I feel better and reassuring me that I'm beautiful and loveable and that he would give me everything I ever wanted if it was in his power and riofvskdubebdidbdk this is so, so hard. It's even harder because he's the only one I've ever been with, so there are soooo many confusing and intense emotions attached to him from my end, makes it really hard to think clearly and make good choices. Sometimes we still have issues with him respecting when I can't take anymore. Sometimes he listens. Sometimes I have an exam the next day, we've been going at it for two hours already and he's not done and just doesn't care. I mean the sex is obviously out of this world (hah) and I genuinely do enjoy the dominance, but it would be nice for things to be a little more equal, or for me to have a little more control. Please don't suggest getting any other spirits, though. Neither of us are comfortable with that.
2. Communication issue stuff. We've got the touch aspect down lmao but hearing is shotty and unreliable about 35% of the time. (Though I'm sure he just plays off this fact when he doesn't want to answer me lol) this leads me to my question... do names contain spiritual power? For whatever reason-perhaps I'm just having trouble hearing, I don't know-but he still won't tell me his name after all this time, and it's really upsetting to me. It's so weird loving someone and knowing so little about them, factually speaking. Is there a reason an unbound Ubi might not want you knowing their name? Does it mean he has ill intent or just doesn't trust me? Is he scared I'd have some practitioner try to find him/what he is/or just more info or try to have him bound or something? I genuinely just want to know more about my lover.
3. I'm trying like hell to plan something spectacular for Valentine's Day. It was supposed to be a surprise but I project like every thought accidentally anyway so I'm sure he already knew, whatever. I really, really want to pamper him, but what the hell do you get someone who doesn't exist on the same plane as you? I was thinking about a striptease and some new lingerie, but trying to work out the logistics and also realizing the amount of confidence I'd have to muster is making me seek other options lmao. Also it just doesn't seem like.. enough. How do you make special occasions, um, special, for your Ubi? Should I think about making a shrine? Can you send some resources my way for <<removed by moderator>>he might enjoy? Could I learn to astral project by then? Tryna make my man happy out here, help a girl out.
tl;dr - Relentless and steadfast entity grew on me over 10+ years and now I'm in way too deep and got myself addicted to an entity. Send halp. (Questions: does knowing an Ubi's name give you some kind of power over them? Should I let go of the tumultuous way our relationship started, or is it a huge red flag and I'm just being delusional? What are some things you can do to make a night really special for them?
I've had an unbound Ubi hanging around since I was at least 12, from what I can gather. I didn't know what labels to put to any of this until recently. It started out very sweetly, just the feeling of a presence and the light impression of weight next to me in bed or hands lightly pressing. The presence did terrify me the first time I felt it, however.
Anyway, as things progressed two issues arose. As my Ubi is unbound, things are obviously very unequal between us in that I have little control. I was never able to say "no" or ask for a break so I could get some sleep. Early on we weren't actually having sex (I don't know if this was because they acknowledged how young I was and wanted to ease me into things or they were just unable to interact with me at that level yet, honestly...) but sometimes I would feel as if I was being molested and couldn't do anything about it. I would cry and beg them to stop, to no avail. Add on a religious upbringing that came with serious fear, guilt and shame surrounding this thing that touches me and how good it makes me feel, and you can imagine... things were rocky. I felt like I was being tormented and spent many years up in arms trying to get them to leave me alone. All I wanted was to be able to lay in bed and rest without being assaulted.
Anyway, as I've grown and become more spiritually open, things shifted between us. Especially in these last few months. Given what I just explained-how this essentially started as me being molested as a kid by some entity I couldn't see-this must sound insane. But I went through a really hard year and he was there for me in a huge way. I wouldn't have survived without him, I'm not exaggerating. Suddenly I felt whole where I had felt broken and empty my whole life. I don't have to explain to all of you how amazing things can also be with them. I have never felt so loved, cherished and happy in my entire life. I now feel grateful, even though I have no idea why on earth he stuck things out so long with me (things were really bad. Me, religious freak, screeching at him to go away, totally conflicted by my desire for him, the lack of control and betrayal, the religious fear; him, horny and fed up, refusing to budge... really hostile lol. He has never, ever physically hurt me, however). Now that you understand where I'm coming from, here are my questions:
1. I've seen posts about how Ubi ethics can be very different from human ethics, morals and concepts of right/wrong. I'm trying really hard to work past the way our relationship began and the fact that he has essentially molested me countless times as I cried and begged him not to, a helpless kid. I'm basically hoping someone will put it to me in a way that helps me conceptualize what happened from a spiritual perspective, hoping it will make it all less awful, I guess? Ugh, this isn't healthy at all, is it? Does the nature of our relationship (Ubi and human) change the way I should look at what happened, or should I treat it just like he was human? Because if he was human it wouldn't, or at least shouldn't, matter how great he is now based on how things started out, right? That's an evil thing to do to a kid. But he's also currently the sweetest, most considerate, best at counselling and listening to me rant and cuddling me until I feel better and reassuring me that I'm beautiful and loveable and that he would give me everything I ever wanted if it was in his power and riofvskdubebdidbdk this is so, so hard. It's even harder because he's the only one I've ever been with, so there are soooo many confusing and intense emotions attached to him from my end, makes it really hard to think clearly and make good choices. Sometimes we still have issues with him respecting when I can't take anymore. Sometimes he listens. Sometimes I have an exam the next day, we've been going at it for two hours already and he's not done and just doesn't care. I mean the sex is obviously out of this world (hah) and I genuinely do enjoy the dominance, but it would be nice for things to be a little more equal, or for me to have a little more control. Please don't suggest getting any other spirits, though. Neither of us are comfortable with that.
2. Communication issue stuff. We've got the touch aspect down lmao but hearing is shotty and unreliable about 35% of the time. (Though I'm sure he just plays off this fact when he doesn't want to answer me lol) this leads me to my question... do names contain spiritual power? For whatever reason-perhaps I'm just having trouble hearing, I don't know-but he still won't tell me his name after all this time, and it's really upsetting to me. It's so weird loving someone and knowing so little about them, factually speaking. Is there a reason an unbound Ubi might not want you knowing their name? Does it mean he has ill intent or just doesn't trust me? Is he scared I'd have some practitioner try to find him/what he is/or just more info or try to have him bound or something? I genuinely just want to know more about my lover.
3. I'm trying like hell to plan something spectacular for Valentine's Day. It was supposed to be a surprise but I project like every thought accidentally anyway so I'm sure he already knew, whatever. I really, really want to pamper him, but what the hell do you get someone who doesn't exist on the same plane as you? I was thinking about a striptease and some new lingerie, but trying to work out the logistics and also realizing the amount of confidence I'd have to muster is making me seek other options lmao. Also it just doesn't seem like.. enough. How do you make special occasions, um, special, for your Ubi? Should I think about making a shrine? Can you send some resources my way for <<removed by moderator>>he might enjoy? Could I learn to astral project by then? Tryna make my man happy out here, help a girl out.
tl;dr - Relentless and steadfast entity grew on me over 10+ years and now I'm in way too deep and got myself addicted to an entity. Send halp. (Questions: does knowing an Ubi's name give you some kind of power over them? Should I let go of the tumultuous way our relationship started, or is it a huge red flag and I'm just being delusional? What are some things you can do to make a night really special for them?