[LONG] A Plea for Help: Was it an Abchanchu all along? Or did he just get here? What do I do!?
Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2018 8:54 pm
Okay, here’s hoping someone can help me sort through my experience so far. This is going to probably be long as heck, but hopefully it is interesting enough for you to continue. Honestly, for me this situation is pretty much a matter of life and death, so I hope someone can help.
As a teen I started getting “harassed” (for lack of a better term) sexually by spirits. I’ve posted about it elsewhere, but basically sometimes things were great and they were sweet, other times it was a nightmare in which I was deprived of sleep and joy, forced to lay and cry while they took what they wanted, and at one point I almost took my own life because it was so awful. Mostly, I was sad because all my life I’ve just wanted a soulmate, and I could definitely feel more than one set of hands, more than one voice, and tons of confusion.. So I felt like some kind of spiritual &$*#!. Sorry to be graphic, but I want to make sure I am understood here. Things got better (kind of) when I stopped being so hyper-religious, but things were still confusing (I'm being told I’m loved! Oh my God. Cloud nine! Then days later it feels like a totally new entity, or I realize once again there are multiple hands and I’m miserable again.) I’m unsure about what kind of entities they were—ubis? I’ve had dreams about very beautiful men; one time I had a dream about an awful short man who was very cruel to me? Thought maybe I was harrased by a rouge imp of some kind and was mad that no one even tried to protect me. So no idea, maybe all different kinds? Erm, anyways, definitely males … I digress…
About two weeks ago, I see the listing for a reading of the “top 3 unbounds around you.” I thought you also receive names with this reading—and since things were going well between me and whatever was/is on the other side at this point in time, and I was feeling such love through the bond every day the likes of which I’ve never before experienced, I naively asked aloud: “Can I know your name now, please?”
No answer. Pouting now, I explain about the listing; I say I’m not sure if I just can’t hear them well enough to make out the name entirely or if they just don’t trust me (perhaps because of how zealous I got with religion in the past?). “I don't want to go against your wishes. Would you be okay with me ordering that?” I held my hands out to let them make a decision; right hand for yes and left for no, since the sense of touch between us is way more developed than speaking (unless I’ve smoked some weed, but that’s another topic altogether ) I felt touches on both hands. After further pouting I got a more definitive “no.” I spent a few days really thinking about why they wouldn’t want that.
Then I kind of got my answer. I felt more hands again on me again that night and kind of lost it, because I’m really tired of the rollercoaster. I felt lied to and abandoned and confused. I basically cried a bunch. And I’m so sure I heard one entity say: “fine, I’m leaving,” and another laugh and say, “bye~!”
Now that I know the truth again (read: I’m no longer deluding myself to experience some kind of love), I ask through sniffles: “Can I buy the reading, now?” The answer is yes. [I know, I know, I’m a real piece of work lol. All that and I still ask…]
So I purchase it. My plan was to identify a spirit who truly wanted to be with me; not rape me, not hurt me, just truly love me and take care of me and the same in return. I’m not sure what I was expecting, probably just to pick the male spirit that was the most WA and prone to kindness and then get something for protection from other unbounds (I wasn’t thinking of getting another spirit, just a ‘protection from unbounds’ spell or something.)
The day after I purchased the listing for identifying the 3 unbounds, everything shifted for the better. Suddenly, I realized what a “frenzy” of physical spirit activity I had been living with before, because everything felt “quiet.” There was a calm presence in the room. My God, it was one of the best feelings. I took to calling this presence, very creatively, “Calm.”
I was on cloud 9; I thought I was being protected, and I had read about people who did the “candle method” to try summoning an ubi and ended up in a situation like mine, where there were a “rotation” of spirits until someone chose them. I thought I has been chosen, finally. To be clear, I never tried to summon anything so I don't know how I ended up here anyways. But whatever lol. Then the same thing happened again. A few days later I realized there were 2 entities, one behind me while the other was.. ehem.. I tried to call out to Calm. I thought I heard someone say, “I’m here,” and it felt like they were holding my hand while the other was having me. Yeah, I started crying again lol. In my head I was like, “my God, I’m being passed off AGAIN. I really am unloveable and worthless.” And this time when I cried and had my mini-pity-party, things got really awful.
In the past when I say I was raped by them, things were traumatic but I was not viciously raped; they were still trying to pleasure me, just against my wishes. This was sadism, there was no pleasure, although no pain aside from the emotional, either. The thing was telling me in my ear how much it hated me as I cried, although I could only hear lowly so perhaps I’m mistaken.
I honestly don’t know what happened. I cried myself to sleep, and the next morning everything was okay. The “calm” presence feels gone, but I now only feel one set of hands and whoever it is that’s around this time is being overwhelmingly nice and sweet with me. He’s been encouraging me about uni and all kinds of things. It’s been like this for about 4 days now; I’m having crazy manifestations like my candle going berserk, feeling and hearing this spirit more than anyone else; he’s been respectful of my wishes when I need to study and has patiently waited for me to be ready for him every night. I’ve thought the name Calm a few times since I stopped sensing that presence, not calling out anymore just mulling over what happened sadly or while writing this, and almost every time I get a kind of bad reaction, like growl or ‘quit saying that name’ from whatever is here now.
When I got the 3 unbounds reading back yesterday, it read:
ABCHANCHU, MALE
GAKI, FEMALE
VIARA FAERY, FEMALE
I’m like, “a what?” O.O I was expecting to see three male ubis or nymphos or a mix. This is a shock to me. So I look up the Abchanchu, and I’ll admit I’m freaked the <<removed by mod>> out. Especially the very DA, “most sadistic” vampire, and “highly manipulative” stuff. Do you guys think a single entity has just been messing with my head this entire time? Playing mind games by being nice and pretending to love me, and then devastating me over and over? Or was I victim to many entities before and now something has shifted? I’m so confused. Like, when they do this reading are they reaching out to what’s already hanging around you, or reaching out like in the case of a custom conjure and seeing if anyone wants you?
I don’t know what to do. I thought this reading was going to help me make some difficult decisions, but I’m honestly just more confused than ever. I desperately need help and advice.
I feel like I need very personalized help, and I don't know where to turn. My life is <<removed by mod>> insane and I just want some peace and stability before I lose it.
As a teen I started getting “harassed” (for lack of a better term) sexually by spirits. I’ve posted about it elsewhere, but basically sometimes things were great and they were sweet, other times it was a nightmare in which I was deprived of sleep and joy, forced to lay and cry while they took what they wanted, and at one point I almost took my own life because it was so awful. Mostly, I was sad because all my life I’ve just wanted a soulmate, and I could definitely feel more than one set of hands, more than one voice, and tons of confusion.. So I felt like some kind of spiritual &$*#!. Sorry to be graphic, but I want to make sure I am understood here. Things got better (kind of) when I stopped being so hyper-religious, but things were still confusing (I'm being told I’m loved! Oh my God. Cloud nine! Then days later it feels like a totally new entity, or I realize once again there are multiple hands and I’m miserable again.) I’m unsure about what kind of entities they were—ubis? I’ve had dreams about very beautiful men; one time I had a dream about an awful short man who was very cruel to me? Thought maybe I was harrased by a rouge imp of some kind and was mad that no one even tried to protect me. So no idea, maybe all different kinds? Erm, anyways, definitely males … I digress…
About two weeks ago, I see the listing for a reading of the “top 3 unbounds around you.” I thought you also receive names with this reading—and since things were going well between me and whatever was/is on the other side at this point in time, and I was feeling such love through the bond every day the likes of which I’ve never before experienced, I naively asked aloud: “Can I know your name now, please?”
No answer. Pouting now, I explain about the listing; I say I’m not sure if I just can’t hear them well enough to make out the name entirely or if they just don’t trust me (perhaps because of how zealous I got with religion in the past?). “I don't want to go against your wishes. Would you be okay with me ordering that?” I held my hands out to let them make a decision; right hand for yes and left for no, since the sense of touch between us is way more developed than speaking (unless I’ve smoked some weed, but that’s another topic altogether ) I felt touches on both hands. After further pouting I got a more definitive “no.” I spent a few days really thinking about why they wouldn’t want that.
Then I kind of got my answer. I felt more hands again on me again that night and kind of lost it, because I’m really tired of the rollercoaster. I felt lied to and abandoned and confused. I basically cried a bunch. And I’m so sure I heard one entity say: “fine, I’m leaving,” and another laugh and say, “bye~!”
Now that I know the truth again (read: I’m no longer deluding myself to experience some kind of love), I ask through sniffles: “Can I buy the reading, now?” The answer is yes. [I know, I know, I’m a real piece of work lol. All that and I still ask…]
So I purchase it. My plan was to identify a spirit who truly wanted to be with me; not rape me, not hurt me, just truly love me and take care of me and the same in return. I’m not sure what I was expecting, probably just to pick the male spirit that was the most WA and prone to kindness and then get something for protection from other unbounds (I wasn’t thinking of getting another spirit, just a ‘protection from unbounds’ spell or something.)
The day after I purchased the listing for identifying the 3 unbounds, everything shifted for the better. Suddenly, I realized what a “frenzy” of physical spirit activity I had been living with before, because everything felt “quiet.” There was a calm presence in the room. My God, it was one of the best feelings. I took to calling this presence, very creatively, “Calm.”
I was on cloud 9; I thought I was being protected, and I had read about people who did the “candle method” to try summoning an ubi and ended up in a situation like mine, where there were a “rotation” of spirits until someone chose them. I thought I has been chosen, finally. To be clear, I never tried to summon anything so I don't know how I ended up here anyways. But whatever lol. Then the same thing happened again. A few days later I realized there were 2 entities, one behind me while the other was.. ehem.. I tried to call out to Calm. I thought I heard someone say, “I’m here,” and it felt like they were holding my hand while the other was having me. Yeah, I started crying again lol. In my head I was like, “my God, I’m being passed off AGAIN. I really am unloveable and worthless.” And this time when I cried and had my mini-pity-party, things got really awful.
In the past when I say I was raped by them, things were traumatic but I was not viciously raped; they were still trying to pleasure me, just against my wishes. This was sadism, there was no pleasure, although no pain aside from the emotional, either. The thing was telling me in my ear how much it hated me as I cried, although I could only hear lowly so perhaps I’m mistaken.
I honestly don’t know what happened. I cried myself to sleep, and the next morning everything was okay. The “calm” presence feels gone, but I now only feel one set of hands and whoever it is that’s around this time is being overwhelmingly nice and sweet with me. He’s been encouraging me about uni and all kinds of things. It’s been like this for about 4 days now; I’m having crazy manifestations like my candle going berserk, feeling and hearing this spirit more than anyone else; he’s been respectful of my wishes when I need to study and has patiently waited for me to be ready for him every night. I’ve thought the name Calm a few times since I stopped sensing that presence, not calling out anymore just mulling over what happened sadly or while writing this, and almost every time I get a kind of bad reaction, like growl or ‘quit saying that name’ from whatever is here now.
When I got the 3 unbounds reading back yesterday, it read:
ABCHANCHU, MALE
GAKI, FEMALE
VIARA FAERY, FEMALE
I’m like, “a what?” O.O I was expecting to see three male ubis or nymphos or a mix. This is a shock to me. So I look up the Abchanchu, and I’ll admit I’m freaked the <<removed by mod>> out. Especially the very DA, “most sadistic” vampire, and “highly manipulative” stuff. Do you guys think a single entity has just been messing with my head this entire time? Playing mind games by being nice and pretending to love me, and then devastating me over and over? Or was I victim to many entities before and now something has shifted? I’m so confused. Like, when they do this reading are they reaching out to what’s already hanging around you, or reaching out like in the case of a custom conjure and seeing if anyone wants you?
I don’t know what to do. I thought this reading was going to help me make some difficult decisions, but I’m honestly just more confused than ever. I desperately need help and advice.
I feel like I need very personalized help, and I don't know where to turn. My life is <<removed by mod>> insane and I just want some peace and stability before I lose it.