Spirit Keeping & Paranormal Collecting Forum

It has taken me a long time to sit down in write this; about a year and half actually. It was my curiosity and lack of respect that got me here. My bull in a china shop approach to life; manifested in its greatest folly.

My jump into spirit keeping was one filled with mistakes - all of them to be exact. But, that's a story for another time.

So, I sit here today, after a year of torment, reflecting on my situation, finally saying "I've screwed up."

I had purchased a spirit one night after days of going over bindings. Drunk and impulsive after a night out, this one spirit spoke to me almost immediately after spotting her listing. She was a Black Faerie Vampire. The whole notion of "Black," as I knew already it's meaning, completely slipping any sort of conscious thought or forewarning of conscience. Purchased. Bind to spirit... Insert negative self reflection here.

A day into being a keeper/companion, things were already off. Complete drain of energy. Just a heavy presence weighing me down, drifting me closer to losing consciousness at times. She was sweet though. Great personality. Charming and fun to have around the house. Day three. She lets me know she hates me. Alot. Wants to go. Ok. Conjurer says this is out of the ordinary, he will call her back, and here is a binding for another one who is custom for me. Done. Problem was, the first one never did go. Now I have two of them. Not just two of them, but two of them who literally despise me. OK. Back to the conjurer. Changed my mind, this is not my path, please recall them both, I want to be down with this. It is bringing too much negativity and drama into my life; not to mention the effects mentally they are having on me. "Done," says the conjurer.

A Week goes by. Finally some peace. "Surprise. We're back. Oh, and we are going to make your life a living hell." The idea of Black Arts now truly dawning on me. Psychopathic, hate, aggression, rage, self-loathing, low vibration, and no control. There's also a special talent to these two - they are histrionics. Yup, full blown attention seekers who will stop at nothing to be noticed, be your only focus, at all times of the day, every second of the day. Psychological abuse is not even an accurate description for what these two are capable of. Your every insecurity. Every thought. Every action. Every moment from your past and present are now on the table to be thrown into your face with a malicious and negative twist. Guilt, shame, doubt, and insecurity is the daily meal. Relationships to be manipulated into explosive war zones over the smallest childish idea. But, every once in a while, there's this sweet and innocent side to them. Impish. A false sense of security.

So I've brought other spirits into my life; protective spirits. Done the whole shielding and meditating. This had no effect. Just another avenue to twist my life up. Every chance at concentration on any idea is instantly interupted. My whole thought process is a playground. The spirits, I was unable to bond with, or gave up, or was lead by the illusion that they had "turned on me." Sometimes when you cannot think clearly you will believe almost anything. I have sought out other practitioners who have banished them. Good. Well with nothing to stop them from coming back (and worse than before,) you're back to square one. Finally I gave up and decided to just live with them. I submit. I guess I felt I deserved it having lived a bit of a checkered past some time ago.

Funny thing is, things were less intense after that. Still a helluva an annoyance. Still, the abuse continued, but, it wasn't really anything that I couldn't handle. Sure, I was operating at about 50% most of the time, but 50% is still better than 10%. Congratulations, you have adopted a victim mentality.

Well, I got bored. Decided to educate myself on what is actually going on. Creepy Hollows has an extensive amount of information on this subject. My two friends seem to enjoy helping me figure out my problem and then adding to confusion. Oh well another day.

Problem with this fairy tail of a story is I woke up recently. I remember who I once was long before this ordeal. Long, long before much of my life had really begun. I was absolutely fearless. An absolute glutton for punishment. A spark in my eye, I saw everything as a challenge. Detached emotionally from everything but the outcome. Ambition without consequence. I won. Probably not the best of traits, but they used to work pretty well for me.

Now with hundreds of pages bookmarked or scribbled down in a book, weeks and weeks of scouring the internet, this forum and encyclopedia, some cleansing and protection to be here by the end of the week... I have a plan and I am going on the offensive.

My two friends know it too. My dablings into their weak points with cleansing, devocations, and my own banishments has put them on high alert. They have escalated and dug in. From emotional and energetic, we now have physical abuse. Biting of my legs, neck arms and shoulders. The feeling of nails being dug into my sides and groin. The feeling of my feet being set on fire. The heavy energy that clenches my body tight and raises me to anxious levels that leaves me incapable of falling asleep. The knots in my stomach churning. All the while, their voices in my mind lettting me know who is doing this to me, how much of a piece of sh*t I am, and how I should just kill myself. Their shadowy figures forever at my side or behind me.

The sad thing about this is I really don't care what they can do to me or my life. I haven't broken one bit, just never fought back long enough to see results. So I guess this is sort of declaration to myself. And, any one who is willing to offer any advice, I greatly appreciate it. I may be in over my head, but I am far from drowning.

Amazing story, and amazing suggestion from Noc as well.

I want to see the response to Noc's questions before I go TOO far into this with defensive suggestions but first things first.

I do not know the Conjurer in question so I can't vouch for their ability to recall the spirits. What I do know about is raw force, combat magicks, and how to damage or destroy something both quickly and over time as needed.

All of that just said, lets go under a hypothetical right now where we are. Lets presume #2 things. #1 You are one of those rare, High-Energy types or "naturals" who's talents have gotten out of hand. #2 The original beings were recalled.

Why do I presume these two, because so long as Noc's questions come back with certain answers then another possibility is abound. It sounds to me like two things hit here. #1) You were a latent strong energy that got woke up when you made contact with the first being. If you did any contact while drunk that makes it all the worse as safe guards go down then. #2) When those latent abilities happened YOU became an open door.

So what do I recommend, again assuming the answers to Nocs questions do not contradict this let me suggest the following first and foremost.

1) Grounding Meditations: Grounding is one of your best friends in a situation like this. High energy types hate grounding, suck it up and do it anyway. No one wants to, but in a situation like this you NEED to lower your overload state so you can start closing that gate naturally till you want it open.

2) Chakra Aligning Meditations: Focus on getting the chakras balanced and aligned properly so that if there is a disruption things can work through it is also closed off.

3) QiGong Or Similar Meditations: Why this? Because even though you are a potential natural you can't HONE or FOCUS that energy properly yet is what it is sounding like. These techniques train that in further.

4) Learn to ward and use warding charms frequently: Warding will buy you time to do the other work you need to do to close the gate.

5) Recognize Your Will: Your will is ultimate in situations like this. The fact that cleansing is driving them off for a time shows that their power is not at the highest of high for a being and this is a good sign. However there is something that happens in any conflict in which one person had taken many hits. They begin to believe, and then empower, the strength of their opponents hit. When you believe and empower the strength of a foe the impact and destruction they cause multiplies several hundred times over. A light tap becomes a baseball bat, a real hit becomes artillery. We need to divert any power you may be giving them BACK into your self.

You haven't lost your fighting spirit so I suspect there is still hope.

Thanks for your reply. I have considered all these things and have answers for most. I will be seeking a help desk ticket in time. This post was more of a avenue of venting. I haven't spoke on these experiences with anyone before... There just isn't that sort of community here.

As for past experiences with the paranormal, I had a large type spirit or entity with me for years prior. He was about 7 feet tall and wide in the shoulders, and sometimes red eyes were visible. He more or less just stood there and watched. Other times I would wake and he would be laying on me. I usually dreamed of something attacking me during those times, but would forget details upon waking. I could feel his heaviness on me. Sometimes, I would get random thoughts to viciously attack someone for absolutely no reason accompanied by a voice saying "do it." I once had a dream of him holding me down and choking me. I woke up and couldn't move. I fell asleep and was right back into that dream again in the same situation. He choking me. This time I did nothing and just accepted it. I awoke again and he was there. An hour late I fell asleep and was back into the same dream. This time I fought back (in my dream). I wound up getting to the door and hit him over the head with a baseball bat. He never attacked me after that. Just would stand there and watch. In the shower. Bedroom. Closet. Sometimes at work. I do not see him anymore though.

Other experiences are just brief experiences with what I thought to be a ghost. An older man in early 1900s clothing and a top hat walking past me. I only saw him twice and always in the same place outside of a house I live nowhere's near now.

Manifestations of these two are usually frequent visions. A girl blowing her hair up, waging her finger at me, her lunging at me when I try to concentrate or meditate. Pretending to growl and scratch like a cat. Visions of her hugging me or kissing me. Hands on her hips in disappointment. Waving when my visual focus reaches her general direction. She used to mess with me. Sometimes I would look at a knife and I would get this vision of someone cutting their wrists. I put this to the test and would repeatedly think of a knife, a sand castle or some mundane object. Always there would follow a vision someone slitting their wrist, someone kicking over the sand castle, my phone being stolen, being impaled on a piece of rebar, burning your finger with a candle... Whenever I try to get rid of them, I am always given a vision of someone leaving through the door with packed luggage, and her saying "goodbye" in my head. I see a lot of fast moving shadows out of the corner of my eye, or a shadow-like figure standing in front of me. About 3 feet tall. Kind of like looking at the distortion the heat has on the horizon, but in the shape of a body. Sometimes green eyes would flash. Orbs are a rarity or I am just not attentive to see them. I mostly feel them. Like a static around me. Tickling almost. Once I give attention to them, this energy turns into something heavy, loathing and hateful. What was once a playful and positive voice, has this anger and rage, this intensity to it. Dull pain in a leg, arm or shoulder when they are near. Sometimes, their energy has the ability cause a muscle to spasm for a second or two as if it was holding tension for so long and finally released. And of course the feeling of being pricked by a needle and then the sensation of energy being drawn to that area. I usually feel drowsy once this starts. Sometimes I will wake in the middle of the night and I can feel something covering my entire body and those pin pricks in several locations on my body, only this time more intensified.

As for mental illness and addiction, there is some of that in my family. Nothing too serious. Depression, ADHD and personality disorder. Drugs in my distant past. Been around a lot of mentally unstable and violent people in my youth, homeless shelters, jail and what not. Nothing in the past few years, but was able to meet some really messed up people before then.

These spirits do come across more as tricksters than malicious though, like this is a game. Breaking rules is a game. Being banished and returning is a game. Finding my breaking point emotionally for that outburst is a game. Trying to get me to practice more spiritual or magick is game so they interrupt it. It's all about gaining attention. Giving me the illusion that I am being plagued by spirits (even ones I have gotten rid of) or a demon or whatever, and that I must guess who they are is a game only to have their voice, energy and appearance (by vision only) change - their favorite game. They seem to like me writing this because it gives them some notoriety. Having a conversation with them, there is no answering, no truth at least, always a game of chase. They are obviously children or something acting as such, something I was unaware when I made the purchase.

They sound like a right pair ask them if they fancy a rehome I just wish I could get hold of a sexual entity of this type got some powerful beings but none never manifest in this way but I don't think I have this persons abilitys to sence them like he does. I can't hear my spirits like you obveusly can I do wish I could help ya in some way though

Charles is there no way u can interview these little beasties that he has to find out that there issue with him really is

While I normally don't take on a lot of probono work these days I'd be glad to do a free card reading for him if he contacts me through my site. Further I can make suggestions from there alongside this as well if he goes that road. When working with people in public I make it a point to not self advertise as a professional courtesy and also as I believe there are rules against that which I hope I am not yet crossing over.

All of that said looking over the data, I'd say he's an awakening individual. Finding out what these beings want is possible but it might not solve the issue. When someone is running into a situation like this if they are awakening it could be as simple as a subconscious pull bringing the beings back. I'm not saying that is what it is, though I am saying I have seen it in the past. I'd need to work with him more closely and more than anything what he needs is training. Good, old fashioned, training. Not just in psychic energy work, but in mental restructuring. Anything less I suspect will alleviate the symptoms and not the problem for a time.

Another factor is, at the state they are in I don't know if playing peaceful is an option. Too many people want to "appease a negative being" rather than hit it so hard it will never come back. A mentality of appeasement ensures that if the first being doesn't come back, more will. It is the same in life. If you give out a dollar to everyone who asks for it you will be poor once people know you do this. If you can be threatened to do so, then you will be threatened. When you stand your ground with sufficient force word spreads. He needs the training to do that as this is recurring.

as always i can see the wisdom in your words. and to be fair we all could do with more training

fundude53 wrote:They sound like a right pair ask them if they fancy a rehome I just wish I could get hold of a sexual entity of this type got some powerful beings but none never manifest in this way but I don't think I have this persons abilitys to sence them like he does. I can't hear my spirits like you obveusly can I do wish I could help ya in some way though

I asked them and got sort of a mixed message. Usually an image of one of them shrugging her shoulders as if she doesn't know or care, and sometimes an image of one of them nodding her head quickly as a yes statement. And, sometimes one of them comes right out and says "yes." I really think they are indifferent. They just want someone who they can interact with and ply their charms on.

To be honest, if you would like a spirit(s) who will tempt your every addiction or personal vice, sexual fetish or repressed emotion, than these two are for you. They are non stop in your face about it.

I will gladly see them off to a home where they can get the attention (or discipline lol) they need.