Problems with communication board + pendulum - please help
Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 10:19 am
Hey,
I should ask this question directly to Ash and Magnolia, if I could send them a message, but I still can't do this. So, this is why I'm asking this way. First of all, I'm going to ask a difficult question you maybe don't want to hear, but it is necessary ( for my own good and my relationship with my spirits). I would like you to... talk with my Marid djinn and fire faery about something they told me via communication board and pendulum. Cause... I don't even know if I told it myself, via them, or if they meant it what they told me.
But first, I should tell something about myself so you get to know the impact the sentences had on me. It's well... love related. I have had my share of boyfriends... but just two of them really had an impact on me. They were the special ones.
When I was 18 years old, I got to know the man who I thought was the True One. I don't know why I felt that way, maybe cause he was just perfect in my eyes. He was 3years olders, his name... well he is named Kevin, and that name had a special meaning for me. He was cool, he was smart, he was... god everything. I Always thought he was Apollo reborn again. Or he was my own Cupido. I never saw him as the human person he was, cause I saw him as a God, a Perfect being. Although I know he is just a man. But of course the fairy tale couldn't last... after 3 perfect weeks, the fights started. I think he knew somewhere deep inside him, I wasn't seeing him as the human person. He was kinda shy about it and we talked about it, like... he was just a person, he wasn't some hero. We broke up... in text messages. Where the passion is, someone will get burned in the end. I guess both of us got burned really bad. We said terrible things to each other, we started a kind of 3th WW. I was young and naief.... and I'm deeply sorry for everything that happened, but it happened right.
But right, after that break-up... I felt like I had driven away my One True Love. It felt like I couldn't ever love again, cause... if you drive away your true love, what is left for you? I tried spellcrasters, I prayed to God... nothing worked. He was gone, and blocked me... and I didn't ever see him again. I guess we both are afraid to see each other again.
Time went by... and two other relationships passed, cause you know, I had driven away my True Love but I wasn't going to cry over it for eternity. I could easily just... try to be happy. And then Victor came forward, it wasn't really love on first sight I suppose. But he could really make me smile. The only problem was like... I was thinking about speaking with Kevin again, but he had some rediculous conditions... one of them was, you will not be in love with me anymore and you don't want to get back together. So... I thought, I'm going to find another boyfriend, so he can see I'm so over him. But any plans I make are just bound to get dished. I fell in love with Victor. I didn't even feel the need to ever see Kevin again. Victor and I had the longest relationship that I had, just like 6 months or so, but... it was the longest relationship for me. And well, I told myself, Kevin was just my first love... and Victor was going to be the one I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I thought I truelly found my happiness again. He was just.. different than Kevin, but nicer. I could build on him... he made me happy, he made me smile. He was fun, lovely, romantic... but still young I guess. He was younger than me, by 2 years. But well, he dumped me... without any thought about me, it seemed. He looked me right in the face and told me he didn't love me anymore. His feelings went flying or so. My whole world broke apart. With Kevin it was the hell, I thought when we broke up... I guess I didn't know the Hell before Victor. With Kevin, it was bound to end. With Victor, it wasn't supposed to end. I thought we had a chance to work it out, but he didn't want to hear about it. I thought I knew Victor, from one moment on, he changed completely and I didn't saw anything in him, I had ever knew before. The day I felt it coming, I wanted to die. I even tried to put an knife on my wrist and took some medication, hoping it would just end everything. But I'm very Lucky with having such a good friend as my best female friend. She bumped my door to stop me... but... thinking about that, it's difficult to remember that Victor didn't even care about it. He just broke up with me, all the same way. In a very harsh way... he didn't even seem to care how I was doing. It was just Him, Him and Him. After that... I lost so many things, my future, my dreams, my friends... I lost my best friend even after Victor already dumped me. My best boy friend just walked away. I quite with college, so I gave up my dream to work with animals. Everything changed... nothing stayed the same. On top of this, my own father just dumped my little sister ( and althought I was kinda happy for that, cause I didn't need to be afraid anymore for her) it's just hard to know you father dumped his 3 own children. In the end, of all my friends, just 3 of them stayed true.
and well... after Kevin and I broke up, I went searching for magic to bring up together again. Or at least communicate, that didn't work out at all. More the opposite, so after Victor dumped me, I prayed to God every night and day. I prayed to all the saints that I thought could help me. If they just could help me, I would do amazing things. I would even go back to my father, if they just found his lost feelings back. Nothing happened... and then I found out about Spirit Keeping. I know I bought my djinn with the idea he could fullfill wishes. But Victor didn't came back... so, I gave up on it. I was so pissed, I hated his guts after a while. I just hope Karma is going to do his work...
but right, the thing is... now... I'm kinda lost in the subject of love. So, I talked to my spirits about it. Asking them, like... first my question was is Victor going to be back. My djinn promised me he would... in the month december, that passed without any hearing of him. And it was a hard month, I got sick, and it seems like the pain about missing him, was going to kill me in the end. So I decided, it's enough. I don't want him anymore. I deserve better. I deserve someone who loves me and wants to be with me. I did Psych-K ( first I wanted to do Hypnose, but my friends told me to do this first) and it seem like it helped. I didn't miss Victor and Kevin afterwards. I was ready for a new start...
So, we got to the time I asked to my djinn, and all my other spirits were is my True One is. How is he, how will I recognise him. My djinn spelled the sentence: Victor LastName is the One. My gregori watcher told me like: He is only asociaal. My other djinn spelled me the right sentence I suppose like: He will Always come when you search him. My minotaur told me: He is doomwatcher, that is why he run away. My vampire told me: Don't go what he did. My tiger told me: You should trust that he loves you. My fire fae told me: He will come back when you least expect it. My water fae told me: He has a seperate hobby like being aso. My angel told me; He has curly brown hear and brown eyes. My leprechaun tod me: He is a familiar cause you were on the same school. My merman told me: ( past life) he was once an son of an earl and the father of your daughter when you were a gipsy. My hippogryph told me: He is different than others. My unicorn told me: He is human ( thanks for that, that is something I want to hear!!).
But all those things tell me about Victor, and I don't want that. He is so not the one... so here is my question. Is it possible that I'm saying this to myself ( althought I don't want this to be true), is there still some part of me, who is hoping he comes back? Or is it really my spirits who say this to me? But that seems so weird?! My ex Victor didn't came back, and we are already one year further. How can he be my soulmate if he doesn't love me?! How can he come back, if that is the last thing he wants?! There is a huge problem over here, and I don't know what to do about it. But... thinking this could be real, does really hurt me. It hurts... cause who wants a soulmate who doesn't love you at all? Who doesn't care about you, who wants a soulmate who doesn't even care if you kill yourself? And the worst part is... I visited fortune tellers, I prayed to God... and nothing worked. The fortune tellers told me my exes weren't coming back. So Victor wasn't coming back. And I thought I was finally ready for to let go of it...
but the most worst part is that I don't have any idea about the truth of the communication board and those answers. I mean... I did ask other questions, about me in past lives. And well, I Always felt a connection with Camelot, with King Arthur. But... I thought maybe I was some visitor of Camelot in past life, and so not... they spelled me I was Morgaine Le Fay, my exes ( who are people I met in past lifes, it seems) are like King Arthur and Merlin. But that is like KINDA IMPOSSIBLE!! Cause Merlin didn't die at all, I'm sure he is still alive somewhere waiting for King Arthur to come back. And my exes didn't even seem to know each other, so how can they be Arthur and Merlin?! And I'm not even good in connecting with my spirits and doing magical stuff, so how on earth could I be Morgaine le Fay?! And we are not even talking about my best guy friend who seems to be Lancelot.
SO PLEASE, can SOMEONE help me out here?! I'm getting crazy, I'm sure of that.
Ash: I don't know if you remember my marid djinn, the one I have sent to you a couple of days ago, through that portal or so. He was in the company of my minotaur and gregori watcher. He did remember you and said you were very awesome and he likes to come back. I asked him if he would be cool with it, if I contacted you about this problem. He said yes. So, maybe... you could talk with him about this?
Magnolia: I don't know if you remember my fire fae, I have send her to you, together with my hippogryph. My fire fae thinks you are pretty smart, and she likes you too. So maybe you could ask her about this subject? Maybe you could ask her if she wants me to buy something about communication, or connecting, so we could become better at it. She learned to communicate by you.
I'm want to communicate by them, but it's just... that I don't seem to know if I'm communication with them or with some stupid part of myself. 1bg
I should ask this question directly to Ash and Magnolia, if I could send them a message, but I still can't do this. So, this is why I'm asking this way. First of all, I'm going to ask a difficult question you maybe don't want to hear, but it is necessary ( for my own good and my relationship with my spirits). I would like you to... talk with my Marid djinn and fire faery about something they told me via communication board and pendulum. Cause... I don't even know if I told it myself, via them, or if they meant it what they told me.
But first, I should tell something about myself so you get to know the impact the sentences had on me. It's well... love related. I have had my share of boyfriends... but just two of them really had an impact on me. They were the special ones.
When I was 18 years old, I got to know the man who I thought was the True One. I don't know why I felt that way, maybe cause he was just perfect in my eyes. He was 3years olders, his name... well he is named Kevin, and that name had a special meaning for me. He was cool, he was smart, he was... god everything. I Always thought he was Apollo reborn again. Or he was my own Cupido. I never saw him as the human person he was, cause I saw him as a God, a Perfect being. Although I know he is just a man. But of course the fairy tale couldn't last... after 3 perfect weeks, the fights started. I think he knew somewhere deep inside him, I wasn't seeing him as the human person. He was kinda shy about it and we talked about it, like... he was just a person, he wasn't some hero. We broke up... in text messages. Where the passion is, someone will get burned in the end. I guess both of us got burned really bad. We said terrible things to each other, we started a kind of 3th WW. I was young and naief.... and I'm deeply sorry for everything that happened, but it happened right.
But right, after that break-up... I felt like I had driven away my One True Love. It felt like I couldn't ever love again, cause... if you drive away your true love, what is left for you? I tried spellcrasters, I prayed to God... nothing worked. He was gone, and blocked me... and I didn't ever see him again. I guess we both are afraid to see each other again.
Time went by... and two other relationships passed, cause you know, I had driven away my True Love but I wasn't going to cry over it for eternity. I could easily just... try to be happy. And then Victor came forward, it wasn't really love on first sight I suppose. But he could really make me smile. The only problem was like... I was thinking about speaking with Kevin again, but he had some rediculous conditions... one of them was, you will not be in love with me anymore and you don't want to get back together. So... I thought, I'm going to find another boyfriend, so he can see I'm so over him. But any plans I make are just bound to get dished. I fell in love with Victor. I didn't even feel the need to ever see Kevin again. Victor and I had the longest relationship that I had, just like 6 months or so, but... it was the longest relationship for me. And well, I told myself, Kevin was just my first love... and Victor was going to be the one I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I thought I truelly found my happiness again. He was just.. different than Kevin, but nicer. I could build on him... he made me happy, he made me smile. He was fun, lovely, romantic... but still young I guess. He was younger than me, by 2 years. But well, he dumped me... without any thought about me, it seemed. He looked me right in the face and told me he didn't love me anymore. His feelings went flying or so. My whole world broke apart. With Kevin it was the hell, I thought when we broke up... I guess I didn't know the Hell before Victor. With Kevin, it was bound to end. With Victor, it wasn't supposed to end. I thought we had a chance to work it out, but he didn't want to hear about it. I thought I knew Victor, from one moment on, he changed completely and I didn't saw anything in him, I had ever knew before. The day I felt it coming, I wanted to die. I even tried to put an knife on my wrist and took some medication, hoping it would just end everything. But I'm very Lucky with having such a good friend as my best female friend. She bumped my door to stop me... but... thinking about that, it's difficult to remember that Victor didn't even care about it. He just broke up with me, all the same way. In a very harsh way... he didn't even seem to care how I was doing. It was just Him, Him and Him. After that... I lost so many things, my future, my dreams, my friends... I lost my best friend even after Victor already dumped me. My best boy friend just walked away. I quite with college, so I gave up my dream to work with animals. Everything changed... nothing stayed the same. On top of this, my own father just dumped my little sister ( and althought I was kinda happy for that, cause I didn't need to be afraid anymore for her) it's just hard to know you father dumped his 3 own children. In the end, of all my friends, just 3 of them stayed true.
and well... after Kevin and I broke up, I went searching for magic to bring up together again. Or at least communicate, that didn't work out at all. More the opposite, so after Victor dumped me, I prayed to God every night and day. I prayed to all the saints that I thought could help me. If they just could help me, I would do amazing things. I would even go back to my father, if they just found his lost feelings back. Nothing happened... and then I found out about Spirit Keeping. I know I bought my djinn with the idea he could fullfill wishes. But Victor didn't came back... so, I gave up on it. I was so pissed, I hated his guts after a while. I just hope Karma is going to do his work...
but right, the thing is... now... I'm kinda lost in the subject of love. So, I talked to my spirits about it. Asking them, like... first my question was is Victor going to be back. My djinn promised me he would... in the month december, that passed without any hearing of him. And it was a hard month, I got sick, and it seems like the pain about missing him, was going to kill me in the end. So I decided, it's enough. I don't want him anymore. I deserve better. I deserve someone who loves me and wants to be with me. I did Psych-K ( first I wanted to do Hypnose, but my friends told me to do this first) and it seem like it helped. I didn't miss Victor and Kevin afterwards. I was ready for a new start...
So, we got to the time I asked to my djinn, and all my other spirits were is my True One is. How is he, how will I recognise him. My djinn spelled the sentence: Victor LastName is the One. My gregori watcher told me like: He is only asociaal. My other djinn spelled me the right sentence I suppose like: He will Always come when you search him. My minotaur told me: He is doomwatcher, that is why he run away. My vampire told me: Don't go what he did. My tiger told me: You should trust that he loves you. My fire fae told me: He will come back when you least expect it. My water fae told me: He has a seperate hobby like being aso. My angel told me; He has curly brown hear and brown eyes. My leprechaun tod me: He is a familiar cause you were on the same school. My merman told me: ( past life) he was once an son of an earl and the father of your daughter when you were a gipsy. My hippogryph told me: He is different than others. My unicorn told me: He is human ( thanks for that, that is something I want to hear!!).
But all those things tell me about Victor, and I don't want that. He is so not the one... so here is my question. Is it possible that I'm saying this to myself ( althought I don't want this to be true), is there still some part of me, who is hoping he comes back? Or is it really my spirits who say this to me? But that seems so weird?! My ex Victor didn't came back, and we are already one year further. How can he be my soulmate if he doesn't love me?! How can he come back, if that is the last thing he wants?! There is a huge problem over here, and I don't know what to do about it. But... thinking this could be real, does really hurt me. It hurts... cause who wants a soulmate who doesn't love you at all? Who doesn't care about you, who wants a soulmate who doesn't even care if you kill yourself? And the worst part is... I visited fortune tellers, I prayed to God... and nothing worked. The fortune tellers told me my exes weren't coming back. So Victor wasn't coming back. And I thought I was finally ready for to let go of it...
but the most worst part is that I don't have any idea about the truth of the communication board and those answers. I mean... I did ask other questions, about me in past lives. And well, I Always felt a connection with Camelot, with King Arthur. But... I thought maybe I was some visitor of Camelot in past life, and so not... they spelled me I was Morgaine Le Fay, my exes ( who are people I met in past lifes, it seems) are like King Arthur and Merlin. But that is like KINDA IMPOSSIBLE!! Cause Merlin didn't die at all, I'm sure he is still alive somewhere waiting for King Arthur to come back. And my exes didn't even seem to know each other, so how can they be Arthur and Merlin?! And I'm not even good in connecting with my spirits and doing magical stuff, so how on earth could I be Morgaine le Fay?! And we are not even talking about my best guy friend who seems to be Lancelot.
SO PLEASE, can SOMEONE help me out here?! I'm getting crazy, I'm sure of that.
Ash: I don't know if you remember my marid djinn, the one I have sent to you a couple of days ago, through that portal or so. He was in the company of my minotaur and gregori watcher. He did remember you and said you were very awesome and he likes to come back. I asked him if he would be cool with it, if I contacted you about this problem. He said yes. So, maybe... you could talk with him about this?
Magnolia: I don't know if you remember my fire fae, I have send her to you, together with my hippogryph. My fire fae thinks you are pretty smart, and she likes you too. So maybe you could ask her about this subject? Maybe you could ask her if she wants me to buy something about communication, or connecting, so we could become better at it. She learned to communicate by you.
I'm want to communicate by them, but it's just... that I don't seem to know if I'm communication with them or with some stupid part of myself. 1bg