Gloom Deck Readings & Card Meanings

~ 0 min
2011-07-14 21:57

I love the card game Gloom ( You can read about the game on their site.

I've used this deck to do readings for myself and others for fun. It's actually worked out quite well; which has often led me to wonder if the person who created the cards has some knowledge or background in the paranormal.

The card descriptions come straight from Atlas Games "Gloom" by Keith Baker, and the meanings of the cards for Divination purpose were written by me (Magnolia West).

I can honestly say that I have never had such accuracy from a non-Tarot deck as I have with this one, and for further testimonial to this, you can read the 20+ page thread on our forum where I performed readings for free for CH members:

To find the description of your card, use CNTL+F, or your computer's Find function, to look up the card!

Card: Was delighted by ducklings, they say the Devil adores a duck
Reading: You'll have some newfound joy in your life. Soak it up and enjoy the positive energies!

Card: Elias E. Gorr, Itinerant Gravedigger, it can be hard for a traveling grave digger to find jobs, but there's always work at Castle Slogar.
Reading: There is going to be a prospect presented to you, be it for work or for a hobby trade, for traveling; think about it carefully before you commit to an answer.

Card: Was the tout of the town, enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame! Next stop: a lifetime of dull misery
Reading: Something absolutely wonderful is going to happen, revel in the glory of it in every aspect for as long as it lasts!

Card: The Twins, Adorable Tots, the Wellington Smythe twins are the sweetest demonically possessed sociopaths you'll ever meet

Card: was clever at cards, Aces and eights? Again?
Reading: Time and tide are on your side for good luck. Take the opportunity to be adventurous.

Card: Grogar, Work in progress, Professor Slogar is determined to create the perfect groom for her daughter. She still has a way to go.
Reading: Take some stock & examination in your current love-life situation; are there any changes, improvements or truths for the future?

Card: Was choked by a tie, the things we do for fashion
Reading: Any current decisions waiting on your plate to be made should be re-examined before an final answer is given.

Card: Drank too much rye, at least the remains are already pickled
Reading: Be careful not to dredge up drama from the past, there is nothing good there, let the past lay where it is

Card: Was chased by children, sticks and stone CAN break your bones
Reading: Beware & completely ignore the people around you who plan to try & bring you gloom with their negativity

Card: Was disgraced at a dance, Glass shoes? Good thinking.
Reading: It's perfectly okay to be goofy sometimes, everyone does it, and it's good to laugh at yourself

Card: Was perturbed by the pudding, Shark infested custard is an acquired taste
Reading: Step outside of your comfort zone and be spontaneous & adventurous, now is a good time for self-discovery

Card: Found fame at a feast, It's easy to be the life of the party when the other guests keep dying
Reading: Be proud & advertise your accomplishments, there's nothing wrong in taking pride in your work

Card: Was scarred by scandals, the truth hurts
Reading: Don't let anyone drag you into their problems, you can always lend a shoulder to lean on & ear to listen, but don't take on someone else's issues as your own

Card: Balthazar, the Unfaithful Hound, Balthazar knows where all the bones are buried
Reading: Someone is going to confide something in you that you may not want to hear, sometimes it's best to forget secrets altogether

Card: Grew old without grace, death becomes you, hurry it up
Reading: Avoid rekindling an old relationship that you ended in the first place for a good reason

Card: Was crippled by creditors, delaying debts can be deadly
Reading: Keep an eye on your pocketbook right now, being tight with money right now is not a bad thing

Card: Was beaten by beggars, give 'til it hurts. Then give some more.
Reading: Take some action for charitable works, give to someone around you that you know is in need, it will come back in positive energy for you

Card: Butterfield, the Lurking Butler, whatever it is, he did it.
Reading: Eyes & ears open right now for surprises that are going to come your way; don't miss a great opportunity!

Card: Stole from a stiff, is it still embezzling if they're embalmed?
Reading: You have some good news coming your way and it's going to come in the form of money, good luck and/or assets!

Card: Willem Stark, Disturbing Handyman, Willem has worked with the Old Dam for decades. In that time, he's handled all sorts of jobs. And relatives.
Reading: An unpleasant task will be presented to you soon by someone in your life, whether or not you opt to do the work is purely a choice of heart, nothing good or bad will come of your decision leaving the result for you a moot point.

Card: Died without cares, we should all be so lucky
Reading: Let this be a time for you to relax, shed the stress & worries, and soak up the wonders of calm

Card: Cousin Mordecai, the Red-Headed Stepchild, Inbreeding is the least of his worries
Reading: There may be some unwanted stress around you right now, don't absorb the negative energy, balance & focus yourself on the positive to relieve the tension

Card: Was baked into a pie, Dead, but delicious!
Reading: Take some time to immerse yourself and really enjoy the wonder of an activity or hobby that makes you happy; now's the time to enjoy fun!

Card: Was mocked by midgets, it's the little things that hurt the most
Reading: Avoid your temper & being set off by little things that seem aggravating.

Card: Was written out of the will, where there's a will, there's a way to get cheated out of your share
Reading: Don't give up on something you really want, there's nothing wrong with fighting for something that will make you happy

Card: Mister Giggles, Creepy Clown, Mister Giggles always has a smile for the children
Reading: Take exotic pleasure in macabre right now, sometimes the dark aspect of you can lead to positive results

Card: Was diverted by drink, a little diversion goes a long way
Reading: Throw some caution to the wind and do something absolutely crazy & unexpected; you'll feel a lot better!

Card: Was plagued by the pox, a plague on both your houses
Reading: Shy away from any activities in a public place for a few days, there's something catching in the air

Card: Ran out of air, it's never appreciated until it's gone
Reading: Don't be smothered by daily tasks, let the laundry go until tomorrow and take a moment to do something for you

Card: Angel, Starry-Eyed Serial Killer, Angel's always had a hankerin' to go to the big city... and kill someone
Reading: Take a trip! Even if it is a short distance away for a day out you need to get a fresh perspective & gather some inspiration

Card: Was put into prison, there's a place for everyone. This is yours.
Reading: Break out of your daily routine & mold, put a little pep in your step by trying something new you've never done before

Card: Goody Zarr, nefarious Nanny.
Reading: Eyes & ears open right now for surprises that are going to come your way; don't miss a great opportunity!

Card: Was slain by an heir, YOU can't take it with you
Reading: Take some time to get organized in your life; remove the clutter & distractions so you can be more efficient & see what is around you

Card: Professor Helena Slogar- Eccentric Inventor, Helena enjoys gardening, long walks in the moonlight, and reanimating the dead.
Reading: Now is a good time for you to exercise the relationship between you & your spirits and explore new avenues and experiences between you.

Card: Was charmed by the circus, who doesn't enjoy watching a motley assortment of freakish folk cavort & caper about?
Reading: Spend some time with people who really make you happy, be they friends or family, it will recharge & renew your energy

Card: Was married magnificently, it's the happiest day of your life... and possibly the last
Reading: The joy of love, whether you're single or committed take some time to enjoy the glories of the butterflies of the heart

Card: Was wounded by wasps, not to mention being bothered by bees and harried by hornets
Reading: Don't let your feelings get hurt by someone who is going to try and push every button you have

Card: Elissandre De Ville, The Illustrated Lady, Sadly, Elissandre's modesty prevents her from sharing her remarkable tattoos with the world
Reading: Don't hide your creative streak, no matter the venue let the inspiration lead you to do something or create something you've always wanted

Card: Was widowed at the wedding, the bride wore red
Reading: Avoid letting a petty argument with a loved one grow to a fight beyond it's size. Sometimes it's okay to let someone else win the argument.

Card: Lord Wellington-Smythe, Dumbfounded Duke, Since the death of his wife, he has doted on his two youngest children... despite the remarkable lack of paternal resemblance.
Reading: Be cautious of family (immediate or external) strife. Don't fall into any old arguments or take sides in any present or upcoming dramas.

Card: Was popular in parliament, luckily, the voters are morons
Reading: Don't let anyone try to change your mind, you'll need to make a decision soon and take confidence you've made the right one
Card: Samson O'Toole, The Bearded Man, While bearded ladies are always popular, few people seem interested in Samson's remarkable deformity
Reading: Don't obsess on something you don't like about yourself that can't be changed, it's a waste of energy and those who really care about you don't even notice

Card: Was menaced by mice, perhaps the elephants know something we don't.
Reading: Don't let fear be something that holds you back from accomplishing something you really want & will make you happy.

Card: Willem Stark, Disturbing Handyman, Willem has worked with the Old Dam for decades. In that time, he's handled all sorts of jobs. And relatives.
Reading: An unpleasant task will be presented to you soon by someone in your life, whether or not you opt to do the work is purely a choice of heart, nothing good or bad will come of your decision leaving the result for you a moot point.

Card: Was pierced by porcupines, sometimes having too many points can be a dangerous things
Reading: Don't let yourself be scatter-brained, and don't spread yourself too thin, keep your focus without distractions and you'll produce amazing results.

Card: Lord Slogar, Brain in a Box, Lord Slogar's thoughts may be muddled, but Helena assures us that his heart is in the right place
Reading: It's okay to take some time and invest in your emotional side; don't over-analyze, sometimes it's best to feel things instead of think things.

Card: Was cursed by the queen, she is not amused
Reading: Utilize the editing filter between your brain and your mouth, there is going to be a situation where you want to fly off the handle, don't do it.

Card: Thumbelisa, the Diminutive Diva, Darius Dark would have been wiser to promote Thumbelisa's minute size instead of her mediocre operatic talents
Reading: Take some time to evaluate what is great about yourself and do something to show it off!

Card: Died of despair, a person can only take so much heartache
Reading: Put yourself in the shoes of a loved one, they are feeling neglected and though they may not say it, they need your support right now

Card: Was galled by gangrene, who likes to lose a limb?
Reading: You need to evaluate the people in your life and be sure there isn't someone there who is needlessly adding to your stress, sometimes you have to cut ties

Card: Was pursued by poodles, they may look silly, but they can strip the meat off a rhinoceros in less than a minute
Reading: Get down to business, there's something you've wanted to do and have not put all your effort into it; now is the time to focus & put your nose to the grindstone because you'll receive great results from your hard work.

Card: Was wondrously well wed, apparently, headstones are the "in" gift this year
Reading: Do something special for someone you love, the person you immediately think of after reading this message is the one who could really use a kind gesture right now, and doing something for them will make you feel great in return.

Card: Was pestered by poltergeists, they're ba-a-ack!
Reading: Now is the best time to investigate the spiritual side of your life, it will provide you the best return for your investment of time right now

Card: Lola Wellington-Smythe, Wild Child, Once in a lifetime you may have the chance to dance with the Devil or dice with Death. For Lola, that's a slow night.
Reading: Take some time to be wicked, mysterious, and naughty... live up the charming, alluring side of you.

Card: Was startled by snakes, not to mention being vexed by vipers and angered by asps
Reading: Do not overact to something unexpected that is going to happen, they really thought you would like it

Card: Lord Wellington-Smythe, Dumbfounded Duke, Since the death of his wife, he has doted on his two youngest children... despite the remarkable lack of paternal resemblance.
Reading: Be cautious of family (immediate or external) strife. Don't fall into any old arguments or take sides in any present or upcoming dramas.

Card: Found love on the lake, sooner or later, someone's bound to sink your boat
Reading: Sometimes romance is meant for a season, and not a lifetime, share this wisdom with those who need it

Card: Was overcome by the measles, X marks the spots
Reading: Don't take on too many projects at one time, right now it will result in frustration & results that will make you unhappy, wait for a better time to take on multiple projects that require your time

Card: The Old Dam, Murderous Matriach, She rules the Blackwater clan with an iron fist. And, when necessary with blackmail, poison, and a knife in the dark
Reading: Sometimes you have to get tough in life; if someone or a situation that is troublesome to you is reoccurring step up to the plate and be firm in your action or statement (minus the murderous part of course), don't let someone or something else rule your destiny

Card: Was sickened by salmon, fish, fowl or foul fish?
Reading: Avoid dining in any new eateries this week, resist the temptation

Card: Died old and alone, no, fifty cats don't count
Reading: Take some time to enjoy & relish the wonder of the furry friends; even if you don't have any in your home you can still enjoy visiting them somewhere else

Card: The Poor Relations, miserable masses, follow the money, they do
Reading: Be cautious in giving away or loaning money or assets right now, it's not a good time for it

Card: Borrowed from bootleggers, neither a borrower nor a lender be. Unless you really want a new boat!
Reading: Fight the temptation to engage in charity right now, something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Card: Simon Simone, Androgynous Actor, as far as Simon is concerned, gender is just another role
Reading: Now is a really good time for some introspective discovery; exploring your inner self is a very rewarding experience

Card: Landed a legacy, for those you truly love, give the gift of death
Reading: Enjoy the company of a friend or loved one by doing something together you both really want to do and haven't done before, it will be a great pick-me-up for the two of you

Card: Was murdered by morphine, you prefer to think of it as "lifted by laudanum"
Reading: Take some time to really veg out, relax, be still, and find that inner calm that brings you back to neutral

Card: Stabbed by a stranger, reach out and kill someone
Reading: Reach out and make some new friends in new circles, just be sure you are reaching into the right circles

Card: Was robbed by rascals, it's the little ones you have to watch
Reading: Pay attention to detail, whether it's work or fun, be sure you are looking at what you are doing from all angles and leave no detail undone, it will make a big difference in the end

Card: Unhappy Holmes, Meddling Kid, he suspects some terrible game is afoot!
Reading: Taking a second look at a current situation is warranted, there's more to the story and you should know it before you make a final decision

Card: Fell in love with a leper, he offered you his hand. No, really.
Reading: Don't take a loved one for granted, they really care about you and they'd do anything for you, appreciate that fact & give back to them

Card: Chopper Johnson, Hatchetman, he's got an axe to grind... five of them, actually
Reading: Keep your focus right now, you're on the right path, you are working on something you believe in and it is going to divide into a multi-path road that will be successful for you with each path

Card: Starred on the stage, you've always depended on the kindness of stalkers
Reading: Don't be shy to take the help of others, you will benefit greatly from the gift of a friend

Card: Was marooned on the moors, stupid crows, stupid bread crumbs, stupid moors
Reading: Don't be so easily distracted, sometimes you can't see the trees for the forest and right now you need to see the details in the big picture.

Card: Le Canard Noir, cursed cafe, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
Reading: Spend some time at your favorite, local place. You'll find new discoveries in your favorite hangout that will enlighten your life.

Card: Was bedeviled by doctors, darn those miracles of modern medicine!
Reading: Don't let a lingering illness go unexamined, it could develop into a more troublesome issue.

Card: Was vexed by vampires, despite a sunny personality
Reading: Don't let doom & gloom overcome you, keep looking at the positive in your life and keep your focus on the light, it's not always easy but it always pays off

Card: Pencils Pierre, Gourmet Accountant, Cooking the books is his specialty
Reading: Hang on to your money in the coming weeks, you'll find in doing so that your hoarding energy brings more positive assets to your life in surprise!

Card: Took ill at teatime, it seems you can't take your lumps
Reading: Let anything negative roll off your back without taking it personally, right now is a good time for you to attract the positive and letting someone get you down isn't going to help.

Card: Boils Malone, the Ugly American, it's not just a figure of speech
Reading: It's time for spring cleaning of you & your life; eliminate anything, anyone, or any situations that bring out the worst in you... you'll feel a lot better!

Card: dined with the duke, it's amazing what you can do with Brussels sprouts
Reading: Revisit something in your life you've never liked and give it a second chance; be it music, food, a certain genre, clothing, whatever. Sometimes a second chance results in a new love.

Card: The Loathsome Uncle, Malevolent Mooch, he always turns up for dinner
Reading: Now is a good time to explore your culinary desires; whether it's cooking or experimenting you should enjoy the glory of good food right now

Card: was eaten by bears, because bears have to eat too
Reading: Spend some time with nature, your feelings of belonging to the Earth around you will be renewed & rekindled... do this safely, of course.

Card: was done in by a twin, and YOU were the evil one
Reading: Take some time to be introspective & explore another side of you that you've kept dormant; diversity in one's self is the spice of life

Card: : Bulletproof Bonnie, Maniacal Moll, She's a pistol.
Reading: Sometimes you need to say something that needs to be said, it's not easy, but put on your word armor and do what you know you need to do.

Card: was crammed full of crumpets, apparently, you CAN have too much of a good thing!
Reading: Don't do something you love so much it becomes a chore, take a break when you need to so your passion remains a passion

Card: Darius Dark, Sinister Ringmaster, The carnival is in Dark's blood. And there is quite a lot of blood in his carnival...
Reading: Keep an eye out for opportunity; being a leader is never easy but taking charge of your life is needed

Card: was addled by absinthe, strictly for medical purposes, of course
Reading: Take a day off from your regular routine and let the absence of routine be a vehicle for you to a clear mind; you have so much going on right now your brain needs a break

Card: went mildly mad, there is no sanity clause
Reading: Engage in some good, old-fashioned wackiness, it will relieve tension, re-connect you with your inner youth & bring back great memories of childhood

Card: Castle Slogar, Weird Workshop, a wonderful place to raise a family... from the dead
Reading: Get your immersed in a new project, no holds barred. Think about something you'd like to work on as a craft or hobby & jump in with both feet.

Card: broke many bones, they say that pain is the greatest teacher. Guess what? You failed.
Reading: You really need to let go of something you've been hanging onto for too long, it's starting to negatively affect you.

Card: Was spoiled by spooks, you're all they have to live for
Reading: Indulge yourself in something you really want right now, it will bring you happiness & refreshed energy

Card: Was burdened by boils, it beats being boiled, but not by much
Reading: Don't take on too much right now, don't committ to too many responsibilities and keep your options open

Card: Was fined by the Feds, don't toy with your taxes!
Reading: Keep both eyes on your finances right now and make sure everything in accurate in every detail

Card: Whiskers, That #^*! Cat, misfortune follows in his footsteps
Reading: Carve out your own path in the coming weeks, don't follow someone else's footsteps as they will not work out well for you at all

Card: Was nagged by nightmares, pray the lord your soul to take
Reading: Take a second look at coming dreams; they may reveal something important for you!

Card: Little Timmy, Death is like parental authority; you can only defy it so many times before you're grounded.
Reading: Don't take a leap of faith completely on an upcoming decision. Don't be afraid to exercise some caution & hesitation when giving a final answer.

Card: Deserted Desert, Noxious Necropolis, I left my heart in the Deserted Desert, along with many other vital organs
Reading: The atmosphere around you may be feeling rather stale lately, it's time to notch out your own, new pathway with some discovery of the sites & people who live around you. Breathe some new life into the community around you.

Card: Eloped with Edward, it's the beginning of a beautiful, doomed friendship.
Reading: Don't be afraid to make a new friend even though you know they won't be around long-term. Sometimes seasonal relationships/friendships can bring about the greatest changes in our lives.

Card: Little Miss Mina, Poisonous Princess, she goes through au pairs by the pair
Reading: Being mischievous in the right environment can often make fun for yourself & your friends; it gives you the joy of laughing at yourself & others, just be safe

Card: Befriended a bedouin, beware love's sting. Oh, and scorpions.
Reading: You may feel some unexpected feelings towards a friend. Be sure to give those feelings a little time to make sure they are genuine & not just a momentary attraction.

Card: Lady Bumpersnoot, Cannibal Countess, Lady Bumpersnoot struggles with high society, but loves to have guests for dinner
Reading: You will experience moments of sheer ruthlessness in coming months, sometimes the offensive tactic will assist you in getting what needs to be done... others, it's best to avoid confrontation. Let your gut help you decide the best times you use your inner animal.

Card: Was bothered by banshees, they're partying like it's 999.
Reading: You've let become dormant a part of you that gave you a sparkle & wild enjoyment in life. Don't be afraid to let your inner child out; sometimes there's nothing better than sheer wonderment of the world.

Card: The Baobab, Towering Treehouse, While the Bumpersnoots love their summer home, it is out in the sticks.
Reading: Take a day's vacation to a local, nature area (forest, field, lake, etc). The day out will lead you to some deep thoughts & self-revelations.

Card: Was pummeled by pygmies, You've got a little problem.
Reading: Don't ignore a small problem in your life right now, it could grow out of control. It's best to attend to the little details before they cause you problems.

Card: Rosseau, Patchwork Painter, His dearest Rosalyn wishes he'd just send flowers.
Reading: Mix it up a little in your life, combine some of the activities you enjoy doing into a single effort, you'll be surprised at the results when freedom & creativity take the wheel.

Card: Plundered a pyramid, is the cash worth the curse?
Reading: Don't sell out. It is the single most important piece of advice you will need for the coming months. Don't sell yourself short by selling out to anyone.

Card: The Broken Arms, Hotel for Hooligans, even the maid's a made man
Reading: Don't deprive yourself of a sense of accomplishment, take your hobby and turn it into a passion, you'll be more successful than you think.

Card: Was belittled by bellhops, don't forget to tip.
Reading: Don't listen to the tongue-waggers around you, they will create more trouble for you than good. Sometimes drama is hazardous to your health.

Card: The Woeful Widow, Brokenhearted Bride, Misery loves company.
Reading: Being a support to a friend in need is definitely the right thing to do, just don't let their temporary negativity drag you down with them.

Card: Was humbled by hosting, Hide the silverware.
Reading: Don't be afraid of being humbled, it is the single greatest way to ground yourself and get a clear perspective.

Card:Bopobodingo, Teen Idol, Despite his rebellious demeanor, at heart he's a chip off the old block
Reading: Attracting some attention & being the "cool" one is fun sometimes, but don't let it go to your head, keep the real part of your personality alive.

Card: Was disdained by dodos, they may be extinct, but they're not stupid
Reading: Don't underestimate someone in your life; they may look like they're only knitting with one needle, but they are far more crafty than you think.
Card: Rascal, Sinister Simian, Lady Bumpersnoot's cousin Rascal speaks no evil, but he's happy to see, hear, and do it.
Reading: Walking on the wild side can be invigorating, just be sure no one gets hurt in your wake

Card: Was betrayed by the butler, Oh like you're surprised
Reading: You know your enemies, sometimes they can turn a new leaf & other times it's best not to fall for their thinly veiled "rebirth".

Card: Colonel Bumpersnoot, Great White Hunter, These days he's really more of a bargain hunter
Reading: Spend some time browsing your local antique stores, estate sales, & garage sales... you'll make a startling discovery!

Card: Was chastised by the church, we're not going to speculate about your vile, deviant practices
Reading: Sometimes doing the right thing is perceived as the incorrect move by others, but it doesn't make it any less the right thing to do.
Card: Was doomed by debauchery, live fast, die now
Reading: Don’t shy from being spontaneous & enjoying the unexpected.

Card: Was driven to drink, don’t drink & drive
Reading: Be wary of performing any action classified "unsafe", it may have consequences worse than what you imagine.

Card: Fell prey to ill wishes, stupid chain letters
Reading: Be on guard, there are malicious forces out there that would love to distract you, stay focused & positive.

Card: Choked on a bone, at least you had a last supper
Reading: Indulge yourself, enjoy the luxury in life (the big & little things).

Card: Was jinxed by gypsies, the tall, dark stranger in your future is carrying a scythe
Reading: Be cautious in putting your trust in new people, don’t discount completely, but exercise care.

Card: Melissa Slogar, Cadaverous Child, It’s a shame when a child dies at a tender age.  But, sometimes it’s a shame when she doesn’t.
Reading: Be thoughtful of any new female acquaintances that come into your life in the near future, looks are deceiving.

Card: Dark’s Den of Deformity, it’s only the greatest show if you have no alternatives.
Reading: Get yourself out of the rut you’ve been in the last year; go find new sources of entertainment!

Card: Was detained by detectives, it seems the butler has an alibi
Reading: Don’t do anything you know could get you into trouble, because this time, you will be the fall guy

Card: Was scared by scarabs, you can’t beat the beetles
Reading: Don’t fear the new & mysterious, sometimes exploring the mystic side of life can be scary in a good way!

Card: Was killed with kindness, isn’t that sweet?
Reading: Be happy to accept some help from others & when it’s your turn pay it forward, backward, and sideways, karma is good!

Card: Was sautéed by savages, ah, to be an appetizer
Reading: Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of, it’s okay to stand up for yourself and be true to you!

Card: Ran out of luck, Luck is a lady... with a knife
Reading: Don’t push your luck, sometimes it’s best to be happy with what you have than to reach & fall down

Card: Secret Jungle of Secrets, what happens in the jungle stays in the jungle
Reading: Keep your secrets!  Don’t feel pressured or obligated to reveal things you’re not comfortable talking about

Card: Was trapped in a tomb, the life of a tomb raider isn’t so glamorous after all
Reading: You are going to find yourself in a familiar situation that suddenly doesn’t feel so familiar anymore, relax & keep your wits

Card: James DeWinter, Penniless Poet, You have to suffer to write.  Apparently, James just hasn’t suffered enough.
Reading: Open the creative channels of your mind create something unique to your own personality, hopes, & wishes!

Card: Belladonna, Consumptive Courtesan, once she was consumed by passion; now, she’s just being consumed
Reading: There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, don’t let yourself become obsessive

Card: Was knighted by Nincompoops, it’s an honor you’ll carry to your grave
Reading: Sometimes the opinions of others aren’t as important as we think they are, accept advice kindly, but do your own thing!

Card: Was mangled by mimes, they’re silent, but deadly
Reading: Don’t become overwhelmed by the little details, see the bigger picture, otherwise you’ll micro-manage yourself into stress

Card: Blackwater Watch, Foreboding Farm, home is where the heart is, buried beneath the floorboards
Reading: Snooping around your family history can sometimes reveal the most amazing & shocking secrets... good & bad

Card: Was spurned by a spinster, she’s washing her hair
Reading: Don’t be too upset if an old friend blows you off, they are going through something & they don’t want to share their problems

Card: Was persuaded by parrots, whatever Polly wants, Polly gets
Reading: Don’t sell out or compromise yourself for the pressure given by others, hold fast & stand your ground

Card: Lured a lover, try to catch a live one!
Reading: Change your love life routine a little, spice it up, do something daring, and enjoy the surprises that ensue!

Card: Was distressed by dysentery, that’s more information than we really needed
Reading: Be wary of trying new foods, sometimes the craving for spicy can cost you a day of life

Card: Brawled in a bar, you’re not setting the bar very high
Reading: Cool your quick temper, it won’t serve you well & will only add to your troubles
Card: Cooked with cannibals, now you’re a seasoned traveler
Reading: Don’t discount the knowledge you already possess, pick up a hobby or passion you abandoned, and take it to its limits!

Card: Was shunned by society, can you blame them?
Reading: Don’t take a question action that you’re contemplating, it’s not going to end up the way you think

Card: Was badly burned, fire warms the heart... and other vital organs
Reading: Immerse yourself in your new love, don’t be afraid of the outcome, enjoy the glory of it!

Card: Was burnt by a mob, fifty people with torches & pitchforks can’t be wrong
Reading: Think before you speak, you don’t want to end up in a foot-in-mouth situation in front of a group

Card: Was deprived of dessert, it’s just as well, you wouldn’t want to choke on a chocolate!
Reading: Watch what you eat, right now sugar isn’t the answer for everything

Card: Was tried for treason, it seemed like such a good idea at the time
Reading: Watch who you confide in, sometimes people can’t be trusted

Card: Dallied with dignitaries, small minds think alike
Reading: Don’t limit yourself to the interests of only your friends, why not open their eyes to new things?

Card: Was squashed by a shoggoth, it could happen
Reading: Believe in the impossible, faith is something that can bring hope, inspiration, & motivation

Card: Mortified a mummy, mummy’s in a BAD mood
Reading: Play your cards conservatively with your family right now, sometimes it’s okay to tiptoe around subjects

Card: Was terrified by topiary, for generations, we’ve cut down trees at Christmas time.  Now it’s payback time
Reading: Take some time to enjoy the solitude of nature, it will really give you some humble peace.

Card: Was muddled my morphine, you prefer to think of it as "lifted by laudanum"
Reading: Don’t consider introducing any new medications in your life until you’ve truly weighed the pros & cons with professional advice

Card: Fell from on high, sometimes you have to take a dive
Reading: Swallow the pill of pride & take the little sacrifices sometimes

Card: Was consumed from within, what a way to waste away
Reading: Keeping anger inside you will only eat you away & not solve any issues, express yourself in the outlet you think most appropriate

Card: Was pushed down the stairs, it’s a stairway to Heaven... or to Hell
Reading: Don’t let peer pressure force you into beliefs you don’t believe in, be true to your own insights & you’ll be happier

Card: Was gulled by a guide, you should have taken the left turn at Albuquerque
Reading: Don’t let yourself stray from the life that you feel is the best for you to live, only you know what’s right for you

Card: Slept with the fishes, at least they don’t snore
Reading: Sometimes it’s okay to let a relationship die, sometimes they are only meant to be around for a season

Card: Was shanghaied by shipmates, mutiny with none of the bounty
Reading: Being the outsider in a situation can be uncomfortable, but don’t sell out to be accepted, stand your ground

Card: Cracked the code, time to tackle the Picasso Puzzler!
Reading: Have more faith in your mental wherewithal, take on greater challenges & you’ll amaze yourself

Card: Was interred in style, trust me, you CAN take it with you
Reading: Penny-pinching right now is a good thing, there is going to be an unexpected rainy day soon

Card: Bribed the bartender, never trust a bartender named Mickey Finn
Reading: Know your limits, don’t gorge yourself in excess, it will not end well for you if you do

Card: Was last seen on the coast, your troubles have been washed away
Reading: Take a moment to let out a great exhale, you have clear skies on the horizon

Card: Had a tryst on a train... in a trunk
Reading: Be adventurous in your sex life; experiment, play, liberate, and enjoy!

Card: Was rescued by rodents, it’s the stuff that adorable animated films are made of
Reading: Don’t be afraid to accept some help from an unexpected source, it will help alleviate your problems

Card: Was frightened by fungus, there’s nothing fun about fungus
Reading: The daily grind is getting to you, take a weekend break & discover an area of your home state you’ve never seen before

Card: Was cheated by chums, with friends like these...
Reading: Acknowledge that your friends are human, sometimes there’s going to be bad decisions made

Card: Cashed in his last chip, he might be bluffing
Reading: Don’t be afraid to take a flyer on a chance situation, sometimes putting yourself all in on a situation leads to new possibilities

Card: Was killed for a jewel, all that glitters isn’t gold.  There’s diamonds too!
Reading: Keep your eyes open, a bad situation has the possibility for bigger payoff, don’t overlook it

Card: Disappeared in the dark, better to light a candle... but who’s got the time?
Reading: Don’t let yourself get too far in the mundane tasks of your work, start looking for the light at the end of the tunnel

Card: Consumed a companion, he’s finger-licking good!
Reading: Do something unexpected & pleasurable for your lover, it will payoff for both of you!

Card: Was blessed by the bishop, ashes to ashes...
Reading: Take a spiritual time-out & immerse yourself in some spiritual activities

Card: Was praised in the papers, don’t forget to blame the little people
Reading: Do not take sole credit for something you didn’t do, it will backfire & it will cause you problems you don’t foresee

Card: Was cornered by culprits, they want to save you... for a sacrifice!
Reading: Don’t believe everything you see or hear, sometimes the wolf in sheep’s clothing is closer than you think!

Card: Took a tragic tour, next time, keep it under three hours
Reading: Don’t entertain the urge to be spontaneous, it’s not a good idea right now

Card: Found a fossil, everything old is new again!
Reading: Start up a project or hobby you abandoned, now is the time to complete your vision!

Card: Was mixed into the gruel, oh baby, don’t be gruel!
Reading: Don’t get yourself involved in the relationships of others, no matter what you say, you won’t be right in the end

Card: Was abducted by apes, those darn, dirty apes!
Reading: Better to run & live another day, than to stand up & fight right now

Card: Was tickled by tentacles, it’s a tale too ticklish to tell
Reading: Don’t tell tales out of school, sometimes it’s better to keep some experiences to yourself

Card: Marie Delacroix, she’s found a way to make her paralyzing fear of clothing work for her
Reading: Appreciate your body right now, your sexy thing you!

Card: Edward’s Deadly Dive, everyone comes to Edward’s.  Some even manage to leave
Reading: You’re going to get yourself into a situation with friends you’re going to regret, avoid this if you can

Card: Bermuda Quadrangle, perilous geometry, beware the fourth corner!
Reading: Before you make any big decisions, study all the angles, even the ones you don’t think are possible

Card: Hemlock Hill, mysterious manor, enjoy the lovely gardens... while you still can
Reading: Into every life a little rain must fall, yours is coming, count your blessings & let them carry you through the storm

Card: Contracted consumption, conspicuous consumption is such a tragedy
Reading: Not a good time to make any physical appearance alterations

Card: Had a picnic in the park, a jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and a pack of wolves in the woods
Reading: Your generosity can go too far, don’t forget to spoil yourself once in awhile

Card: Was trapped on a train, all stops lead to a bloody death
Reading: Not a good time to travel, at all

Card: Was shredded by a shark, mmm, blood on the water
Reading: Taking risks can end in a feast or famine, only take the calculated risks right now

Card: Played host to a parasite, take care of your tapeworm
Reading: Help someone out, but don’t let them take advantage of you to a point of dependency

Card: Starved in a storm, unfortunately, you DIDN’T leave the cake out in thee rain
Reading: Look ahead in your finances right now, and don’t spend needlessly, you’re going to need a cushion to fall back on

Card: Found maggots in the meat... finders, keepers
Reading: Keep your eyes open in unexpected places for a juicy surprise!
Card: Married a mermaid, trust me, you’re in over your head
Reading: One of your new relationships is going to turn out to be a lot more work than you anticipated

Card: Supped with a Sheikh, dare to have dessert in the desert
Reading: Try something new & completely unlike yourself, you’ll enjoy the refreshing change of pace

Card: Was tormented by ticks, ticks suck.  No, really.
Reading: Someone you know is going to try & turn into a parasite with you, don’t let them take more than their share

Card: Was slain by the host, no vacancy
Reading: Don’t push an argument that is going to arise with a family member, let it die & bite the bullet, it’s the best thing right now

Card: Disappeared in the fog, when you’re out on the bog, what out for the fog
Reading: Get sleep, eat healthy, and keep a clear head,,, there’s going to be a need for your mental faculties soon & you need them

Card: Was greeted by ghosts, that’s what you get for revisiting your old haunts
Reading: Take some time to stroll down Memory Lane, rejuvenate your childhood & youth memories, it’s good for you

Card: Was pelted with produce, you expected more from your salad days
Reading: Take some time to examine your eating habits, you are what you eat, and you need to cut some things out

Card: Purchased a peerage, even a prince has his price
Reading: You’re going to have to buy your way into something you want, just be sure you really, really want it

Card: Was seduced by a strumpet, what’s wrong with doting on a doxy?
Reading: Let your wild side out!  Be charming, seductive, daring, & mysterious!

Card: Was looted by the lodgers, they even took the fruitcake
Reading: Be careful who you let in your home in the next 3 weeks, someone will have sticky fingers

Card: Was tortured by toddlers, there’s nothing cuter than baby’s first thumbscrews
Reading: Beware of the little ones around you over the next 2 weeks, keep close eyes & prevent a bad situation

Card: Discovered a diamond, that’s rough
Reading: Some unexpected treasure is headed your way

Card: Suffered from sores, apparently you ARE a sore loser!
Reading: Don’t let tempers flare, if you aren’t the winner, it’s okay to walk away gracefully

Card: Slept without sorrows, relax, let your worries slip away, and try not to think about Mister Eyeball Plucker in the closet
Reading: Take some time to settle your mind before you go to bed, your mind is racing all night long & you’re not sleeping well

Card: Was the toast of the town, enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame!  Next stop: a lifetime of dull misery
Reading: Live it up right now, enjoy your social circle, treat yourself to some luxury, then batten down the hatches for the next few months

Card: Crashed on a cruise, there’s no love in this boat
Reading: Squabbles with a loved one are unsettling, but don’t let it be the permanent end to a long-time relationship

Card: Wanted to wander, it’s time to leave the nest... and burn it down behind you
Reading: You can’t go home again, don’t try, it’s not worth it

Card: Was boiled in broth, it’s good for what ails you.  In this case, life.
Reading: Attend to your physical body needs, don’t let a small problem become a big, health issue.

Card: Was dragged off by dingos, throw them a bone, people.
Reading: Let yourself be carried away with one of your passions right now, be impassioned!

Card: Tarried in a tar pit, don’t be a stick in the mud.
Reading: It’s okay to be a prude sometimes, and sometimes it’s okay to let your hair down & do something crazy!

Card: Suffered on safari, it’s not as serious as being wounded on a walkabout
Reading: Take a spiritual adventure & try some things you’ve never tried before, you might like it

Card: Stowed away on a steamer, try not to get steamed about it
Reading: Patience is a virtue & forgiveness divine, two good sayings to keep on memory recall right now

Card: Brought in a boarder, prepare to be boarded!
Reading: A friend in your life is thinking about being more than friends, it’s your choice

Card: Drowned in a bog, still waters run deep
Reading: Don’t get in over your head right now, you don’t need more stress than you already have
Card: Was condemned by the court, who knew you’d be jilted by judges?
Reading: Watch out for a situation someone else wants you to take the lead on, it will result in some betrayal

Card: Was captured by constables, what’s all this, then?
Reading: Being stubborn & standing your ground is a good piece of advice right now

Card: Was badly betrothed, a plague on both your residences!
Reading: Right now, romantic relationship decisions are not recommended, don’t make any rash decisions

Card: Never returned, good riddance.
Reading: It’s okay to let someone in your life take a walk right now, you both need the break

Card: Was crushed by cabbages, putting the "slaw" in "slaughtered"
Reading: Get rid of the things in your life, home, and relationships that you don’t need right now, you’re under pressure

Card: Was torn limb from limb, rest in pieces.
Reading: Turn down the next high-stress proposal sent your way, it won’t end pretty if you don’t.

Card: Was harassed by houseguests, lock the pantry!
Reading: Expect some of the people in your life to be trying to take advantage of you in big & small ways

Card: Was poisoned by penguins, penguins are always, dressed to kill
Reading: Let the naughty side come out to play!

Card: Was mauled by a manatee, they’re fierce, if you rile ‘em.
Reading: Enjoy the mysteries & dangers of nature, but come fully prepared as to not provoke the dangers, the time away will awaken you

Card: Was devoured by weasels, dinner is served
Reading: Indulge yourself in some decadent eating right now, you will blow your mind!

Card: Was swindled by salesmen, it’s the deal of a lifetime... a very short lifetime
Reading: Now is not a good time to invest money in anything, it will turn sour

Card: Fell down the well, all’s well that ends well, unless it ends IN the well.
Reading: You need to re-prioritize your life, you are wasting too much time in unimportant tasks right now

Card: Was belittled by bellhops, don’t forget to tip
Reading: Show some generosity to the people & strangers around you, everyone can use a helping hand

Card: Was hunted by horrors, prey for salvation
Reading: A past irritant is about to rear its ugly head, be ready for it

Card: Was taunted by tigers, jumping through hoops isn’t as fun when you’re the one in the cage
Reading: It’s okay to say "no" sometimes to people, stop feeling guilty about it

Card: Was masticated by mastiffs, their bark? Not so bad
Reading: Confrontation is needed sometimes, and usually the bark is worse than the person’s bite

Card: Regaled a relative, your curious capering has captivated your cousin
Reading: Take some time to walk down memory lane with your friends & family, rekindle the fires of the good times

Card: Was comforted by cocoa, nothing beats a warm fire, a cup of cocoa, and knowing that all your enemies are dead
Reading: Relax, relax, relax, and revel in the awesomeness of you for awhile

Card: Was menaced by mice, perhaps the elephants know something we don’t
Reading: Confront a fear you have, you’ll see that it’s not as bad as you think & it will open up a new part of yourself

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