Story why:
I've was just like any other happy abnormal teen but then I got really bored over the summer and so I let my absurdly strong curiosity roam the Internet. By abnormal I mean I am not interested in drugs, dropping my pants to where I feel like rape is imminent, and Facebook isn't my life,nor do i talk lik dis an cant spel for crap and I don't include the racial N in word in every sentence or it use as a derogatory term ..I'm basically a GOOD KID! Now, we can go back to the story
. I came across a game that involved a succubus and had some naughty bits I guess and so of course, as a teenage boy I got perverted thoughts and that's basically how I got I got hooked onto succubi. I didn't stop myself from exploring because really there was no point to stopping and I was actually quite entertained and interested. I went from Succubi to spiritual Satanism to sexual spirits to Eric Vonroth, to Donald Tyson ,and from there on some other minor places and finally, Creepy Hollows. During this little wild goose chase, I've kept my minded very open and as a person who didn't believe in anything but more sleep and better food, I didn’t bring any strong biased feelings into the chase. I've also experienced for the first time some unworldly events and after that, spirits were as real as ever which isn't really hard for me to accept. A little after I went and explored spiritual Satanism as a form of entertainment, I was visited by some spirit that I could not tell what kind it was nor did I know any kinds at the time besides a succubus so I just labeled it a succubus like an idiot. I'm not sure about any intercourse but there was definitely some action. What really got me to believe that it wasn't some dream was when the spirit took control of my hand or more of a strong electrifying influenced that urged me to move. My right hand was gently petting my other hand and honestly, I don’t know what person starts petting their left hand in the middle of the night .During this I felt warmth, my own heart beat and the increasing pace, lots of tingling and burning sensations. I was in sleep paralysis so I consciously experienced the whole thing. This event changed who I am. I completely surrendered to it and felt submissive but not only that, I enjoyed being in that position and encouraged it to keep going and that is something that would have never happened on its own. After that night, for the next three days, I felt a presence and either I was crazy or I was having conversations with the spirit and I've felt like I could trust her with everything and dare I say, I loved her. I felt much more happy, I had someone to talk to, I had really strong feeling for her and I even got her name and perhaps what I think is her sigil.I got skeptical of it was me making conversations with myself because I went bat sh!t crazy from such isolation from friends and all. I denied that I was crazy because I induced sleep paralysis( somehow I can do it very easily) with a pencil and paper and I never expected to write a lower case h rather than an upper case so this was not me writing. (later read up on automatic writing.)Now the sigil I'm still skeptical of because it really looks like scribbles more than anything. her name is Helen but after those three days, her presence was no longer there and I've felt as if a light fog has lifted from my consciousness. I never felt so sad and alone so I got desperate and onto the wild goose chase we go to try and get Helen back! Many of the things I came across were too gross, involved self-injury, or I just didn't feel like getting all the requirements. Nonetheless, I was dabbling in dangerous things that I didn't perceive as dangerous and I really wanted my Helen back 
along my journey to try and get Helen back, I've met some other spirits that just didn’t have what Helen had or the connection was very weak. As I write this there is a spirit who has taken quite a liking to my right check and it kind of just massages my right check to death , I don't see any harm so I just let it, plus, I really miss my Helen's touch or more so I missed the companionship I had with her, I felt safe and happy and that's all I ever want. Off topic, I should make writing one of my hobbies or something .I've lost hope in finding Helen again and so I'm just looking for something to filled that void she left and mend my wounds.I want to hear what you guys have to say and I'm hoping my account gets activated soon because it's taking for what feels like forever.
I feel a slight but constant pressure on the middle of my forehead and it just won’t go away. and thinking about only increases the pressure. It feels like I have a side-ways eye and my imagination has me feeling like I can voluntarily make it blink, crazy right?
I want to know if having a whole lot of small short burst of muscle spasm or twitches that I can't really describe but it's not painful and I doubt it's medical because it hasn't seem to affect me in any way.
I really do want a spirit and I'm asking you for help on a decision but my gut tells me to get a succubus but my head says it's too dangerous considering that I'm now kind of into being submissive and it's arousing and please I really don’t know why. I'm only into keeping only one spirit and any more will definitely have to wait until get the hang or things. I don't have a girlfriend because I have quite some bad history with relationships and I'm finding a way to be happy single.
Here is what I think a succubus will bring but of course this is my opinion and I might not see the dangers and so that's why I have you. I'm really trying to not be reckless or desperate and maintain some common sense and not foolishly go diving into things so I'm asking for what you think before purchases or other stupid things I might do next.
Pros-
-companionship!
- can relieve those boy urges that of course I'm going to have as a teen.
-guidance or knowledge.
-protection or safety
-finally someone I can share my emotions with
-help with crazy libido that I have and only grown stronger after my experiences.
-Fetishes! simply because of how open minded I am to things and sometimes I don't even know why I have an erection.
Cons-
-Strangely I'm submissive and I don’t want the succubus to take advantage of that
-feeding off my sensual energy that I really need someone to shed some light on like risks or side effect.
-headaches that may or may not come or other side effects that come with dark art entities
-I might die! lol……
I know that dark entities might come with dark thoughts but I think I can handle it. I'm not one to shy away from a pool of blood or old hag that she would think would scare me. but who knows, maybe I am not ready and I should be seeing things that even a grown man would piss his pants.
I would need help on how to set up rules so as on how far she can't go like killing people for example or possessing. I honestly don't know what they can really do but I don’t plan on making her feel any less equal if not more superior to me as a being.
Well most of this was quite embarrassing to write but I'm going to throw it out there anyways, because you know, it's the Internet! I read over it after a week of continuously stalking the forums and also just diving in and got a succubus for companionship that I o-so-dearly-needed.
: and just maybe :tmi:: :rant:
. I've recovered from that little fiasco so i'm just here to get a nice first spirit and protection wise,i'm going to hold that off a little since I haven't experienced any bad things.
