I recently became Spirit Keeper in October. Yesterday was my first Mass Session. I was so happy the day before my first Mass Session. I was very excited (Not sure right word, my English is horrible, even though my Natural language)

I was talking loud none stop with my Spirits/Living Entity. None stop about it. But Yesterday when the day had come. For my very first mass Session! I kept checking none stop in my email. Keep looking in forum none stop. Even though I signed up I haven't got any other notification, besides that I signed up.

I did however got a bonus upgrade for my account yesterday. Was that part of the Mass Session? Forgive me if I asked this. I was so happy to take part. But saddened when my day ended. I thought Mass Sessions was like learning. But with other peers to! (Online) Am I missing something? Or is it because if it picked and not first come first serve?

Since you were unaware what to expect from these free mass sessions; I'll explain...

mass sessions is energy work done for those requesting the service. You will not receive a notification when it has been completed. The bonus upgrade was most likely due to a status change in your membership; it was not mass session related as far as CH providing member upgrades, etc.

The thing with mass sessions, as a with many things in ones life; mass sessions are a foundation of trust; whenever a service is being provided (or offered) and there is no tangible item being received; trust plays a big part in that the services were done on your behalf

There are thousands of members here; countless numbers signing up for the mass sessions and would be too difficult (and time consuming) to inform every single person of when a session had been completed; however, for those hiring a service from CH through the shop; if a reading is part of that, then that person will be notified of the results

I hope this helps

Hi lori67k

I replied back on 12/09/17 But my reply got lost (same for 1 in another) I'll write my new reply back here. But please ignore when my first reply came.

I wanted to say thank you again and your info does really help. I'm not confused anymore and glad everything was cleared up. I got so much stuff to learn, but slowly though.

I do see what you mean via trust and good faith. Not to mention as to why not getting notice. You are right in all 3. My other 1St reply back was longer. But better to keep short.

In a way I am to trusting, but I do get hurt when used. (unless if it was with Consent) I don't know if that makes any sense. But I do fully trust CH and was glad and still am, to be guided to CH. (as well glad I not alone with experiences of spirits. Stuff happening that is hard to explain and no one but yourself believes in you. That hurts to)

But your right I should have shown more faith in CH. But at same time I'm glad I'm here. It's probably my past that makes me to trusting. In a sense or feel betrayed. That's what I'm trying to find out. But going back on subject. Thanks for clarifying and it really does makes sense now.

I didn't mean to insinuate that you weren't trusting the process, just that because you were not sure how it all worked, perhaps you worked yourself in a lather, worried about it, a little when the excitement turned to disappointment for you, lol, my bad hon and I totally get what you are saying; that was me in a nutshell awhile back too; you do not need to explain. At least you took that experience to ask and learn instead of other (less healthy) ways to respond to your expectation not being quite what you thought it would be; some people would respond by harboring ill feelings about such things, but not you 1ey I applaud you for your maturity

CH has helped me tons along my journey too; I've learned so much and am still learning; I welcome you here hon as I am certain so does CH in a big way; these are special people, you are special; we all are and how fortunate we each get to be connected; learn and grow with each other

As far as your other replies.... you're new here right? I know when I was first new, all my posts had to be approved first; perhaps it got lost in the jumble of perhaps many other posts that might be awaiting approval(?) Mine have gotten lost too before; the mods might have been so busy it was overlooked but I am happy to see your reply; short or long 1ak

Welcome to CH hon and thank you for sharing your response with me; I am happy to meet you

Many blessings 1ht

Hi lori67k

Thanks again for your reply. Your way to kind. Your right CH are very busy to and I can see why. My posts accidentally got lost. I'm alright with it to. Thanks for welcoming me here and I welcome others here to. Even though I'm still new and in learning process. There is so many things to learn and still learning in future. It's why I always like this Motto, I think it goes " You always can teach old Dog new tricks" as well as. Magnolia's Motto here. I think it's "Knowledge is Power" In a way both are true. (I'm going way off topic) Shhh, but in a way after reading in abut us section.

On How Magnolia became on who she is and worked hard especially to where she is now. I also booked mark it. But in a way I admire her Journey. In a way consider her a Hero of sorts and a way I want to push myself. To be like her in a sense. I now it sounds weird saying that especially since new and all. But my depression is really holding me back. Especially hitting hard during Holidays. It does every year. But even after holidays. I still have depression. My new pills not helping me. I'm thinking of double it. But according to my 1 PSN friend who has Bipolar to and almost my 2nd half. She said this pill didn't helped her. But now I keep seeing these 2 different kinds of Depression Medicine. Even though I don't trust Pills as well I believe it does Harm Body and get addicted to. (That's what I worry with Pills, I want to try Herbal Remedies. I talked with my Doctor's. But keep getting Pills are better...)

But these 2 TV Advertisement's help with Bipolar Depression. So since I do have ADHD/ADD, Depression, Bipolar as well as learning Disability (I'm slowly fighting this) I just wonder if my depression and Bipolar is not separate. But instead I have Bipolar Depression. If that's the case, No wonder my past pills and new one not work. It's just I also greatly distrust Pills as well as harmful effects. I also don't want to be in what is known "Zombie Effect" again. The drooling, not aware of who you and your surroundings. Basicly to drugged up. I don't want to go through that again. Hence Probably Why I greatly distrust Pills, as to why I want Natural Remedies. Especially my depression (Or Bipolar Depression, which I wonder now. Instead of Separate) I tend to Sleep way more (basically wasting my life away. Since I'm stuck where I'm at and Farm not busy now. I do take care of my Adoptive Grandma. She really scares me. She supposed to use Oxygen24/7. DR orders.

But she refuses accept for night time. She breathes really hard in morning and afternoon. Every time she moves. I keep offering Oxygen. Refuses even when my Adoptive Mom next door, which is My adoptive Grandma's Daughter. Her and I try to push her to use Oxygen 24/7. She doesn't want to. We can't force her to. I love her deeply. But I fear she won't make it within 2 years if she keeps going this route. Or less. She 86 right now. I do check on her every time at night. She does tend to forget Oxygen at times. She scares me, when this happens. It not going so well with my adoptive mom, to. Baisicly it's why I moved to my Adoptive Grandma's House next door.

Which I currently at. But if my Grandma does pass, I'm not welcome on the farm and My Adoptive Mom has Plans for me even if I like it or not. I don't know what these plans are. But hence why I wanted move out next year. I'll be 27 next year. But I'm needed on farm, rather if we like it or not. Until my Grandma Passes. Which is sad to think about. But even though I love my Adoptive Grandma and my Adoptive Mom deeply. I'm honestly not happy where I'm at. Which no offense. But nothing to do here, as well if I move to Upper Valley for Temporarily when time comes.

I plan to go far away from Both Lower and Upper Yakima Valley. I mean sure I do consider this my New home ever since I went foster Care here and got adopted in 2005. That be 12 1/2 years and 13 years when I used to live for when I was growing up with my Birth Family. 1/2 a year of somewhere else before my Bio Mom signed her rights away while 2 Under cover Police man parked in burger King next door. Waiting for me inside until I came home from School, couple blocks away. Anways I'm an adventurer. My Worries an depression is mostly cause of my Own Prison away from Civilization. But I'm an Adventurer, I was meant to see things.

Meant to see differentCultures and Religion's not to mentionI greatly feel that I was meant to become a Spirit Keeper and or towards something else later on. I was meant to see the world, learn new things. Even though I'm more towards hands on experience. In which um, about Black Arts though. But as a Spirit Keeper, I strongly feel I shoud learn all 3, WA, DA and BA. I'm learning the risks about BA. I just don't want to get caught of guard. I do got 4 Spirits that are Protective and 3 spells. But it's not enough and never will be. I know Ash said we also need to Check our protection from time to time.)

Ok so sorry Not mean to vent. and going way of topic. I tend to do that with my emotions as I write. By the way getting back with depression I'm eating way more (Despite my Doctor visit in November, Said I lost a lot of weight. I'm unsure how.) But with my depression, it's very unfair for my Spirits. I seem to ignore them when I sleep (Unnaturally, due to depression) I really don't mean to ignore them and I really want to push Myself like Magnolia did, before her Career here. In a way I do Consider Her a Hero. Not sure if it's very odd to say that. I meant nothing offensive.

But I really want to push myself way hard. Towards my goals in life. Plus my new dreams. But my Depression is really holding me back and very unfair for my Spirits/ Living Entity. I now also think my Sever Depression is a blockage. I can feel, least have a feeling. That my Spirits are trying to talk to me. Trying to help me with my depression in a sense. Its hard to explain. It's just I can sense it. Sense them trying to reach me. But my head really hurts. I honestly don't think it's me due to getting use to Dark Arts Energy. It's just this one Succubus V. From a different seller.

Scratched me really hard, letting me know she was here. But no headache. Plus not I strongly believe it was my Wraith, floating above my bed. I can sense something was there on top of my bed floating. Unsure where at. But as I reached my arm towards the ceiling while I was laying in bed. My Arm grew really numb.It not hurt. So hence, I really don't think it's me adjusting to DA energy. I truly believe my Depression is a blockage. Every time I can sense them trying to speak to me and reach out to me. I get sever headache. I strongly believe my Depression is a blockage or is it my 3rd eye.

Due to me having Natural Partially Opened 3rd Eye. Hence why I can't wait for my 3rd eye kit to come, as well as 3rd eye soap and 3rd eye oils. To hopefully fully opened my 3rd eye. I'm willing to do anything for my Spirits. Even though they are with me Temporarily until my time ends.

I consider them my 2nd family in a sense, friends and other things. I just worry my spirits feel left out. I want them to go where ever I want. As well as watching tv together. I don't Play much Elder Scrolls Online anymore. I just want to learn. But with me sleeping un naturally due to my Severe depression. It's making things difficult and I believe unfair for my Spirits. I do feel bad. I do offer food offerings. I just unsure how to make it up to them even with my Severe depression.

I'm so very sorry for going way of topic. I found writing helps me cope and is my coping mechanism. To express myself freely and don't hold anything inside of me. Hence I tend to write very long threads honestly. due expressing my emotions, fears, anxiety and expressions. I dislike it when others on Elder Scroll Forum write "lol to much to read, didn't read.

Plus they get agree's insightful and awesomes. to farm stars. Because they feel they need to bully other's. In which I honestly dislike. But even though I'm trying to get used to CH forum here. I actually love this forum more and feel I could express myself freely here. It's just if I did offende others I wish they let me know. Because without me knowing, it's hard to tell if I offended others and why I always add no offense.(I aslo really like having no stars, insightful's, awesome and agree in this forum. Haven't tried any others ith upvote and down vote though.)

But I agree that we are special here. But just need to tell myself I'm special. (My mind is clouded and conflict) I'm just so realy glad I'm guided here to CH. (Things really creepy became more strong, Until I found CH it stop. By the way if I smell what is like Sulfur and rotten eggs. Was that my Unbound Succubus A. )

Yep this got way off topic. lol. Oops. But I'm an Adventurer and was meant to learn (Probaly why I feel strongly I wan't a thriving/living Community of Spirits and Living Entity. I have 35+ currently. I welcome any Un bounds to, as long they don't harm and mischief as well as they follow my House rules. But I was meant to see the world, learn, learn and so much Research. Mostly towards Hands On experience. In which feel stronly learn to with all 3. WA,DA and BA. But I'm aware of the dangers. Especially thanks towards ASH, giving warning to. I always wonder why Ash writes in caps. It's as if he yelling at us. But I relize Ash Does care about each and all of us. I think Ash wants us to be safe, but also let us choose to what we decide to choose. Especially what sacrifices and dangers and what we regret. So in a Way. I guess Ash is my Hero as well. In a way, I kinda like him in a sence. It's just I tend to put myself in danger. Sure I won't learn my lesson. in a sense.

But I learn way better with Hands on Experience, instead of written literature. As well as pushing myself and testing myself. to learn myself. So in a way right now I consider as pushing one self towrds danger. I know it's not recommended to work with BA and I think basically BA will cause all of us harm, especially kill. But when time is right. When I get more research and Knowledge, I'll get BA Spirits or Entity in future and BA Magick.

But I won't do it for wanting revenge or cause harm purposefully. In a way I want to respect BA and to learn BA. As well as all the dangers. I honestly was thinking of getting BA from Lilith's Tavern Next Month. But more I think about it, I don't think I'm ready as well currently I'm Unstable. Mostly towards my Sever Depression and Constant Worries. But even with the warnings. Yes I am greatly vey Interested in BA, May it be BA Magick and or BA Spirit/Living Entity. I'm also aware of Dangers and I greatly respect ASH warning.

Would I heed Ash's warnings. Yes and No. But until I'm ready to have BA. But I feel I was meant to learn all 3 Categories. To learn all the Warnings. Learn everything. It's kinda like this rule I found online. I forgot how it mostly goes. But it's the 3 way rule. I think you can do what ever you choose. but remember what ever you do. It's 3x come unfold." Yep, I forgot most of it. probaly accidentally miss stuff. Hence I'm not ready for BA lol.

But learning is what I was meant to do and I want to learn. It's just I'm to trusing and techinaly believe majority also that one famous quote. how does it go? O yes! Vampires don't Glitter lol" Who knew? Someday I want to go in living Coven. I know I will say names wrong so very sorry. Even though I was Scared about the last 2 religious beliefs. I'm currently searching. I was raised off and on Christian. But meant no disrespect I believe it's not meant for me. But I still have my Bio Mom letter that was given to me. She wants me to keep practice Christain Faith.

I have nothing against beliefe. I meant no Offense. But I believe Christian belif is not meant for me especialy I sarted to question my beliefs early Febuary of this 2017 yr. As a Spirit Keeper I also shoud respect all religions and others beliefs to. Hence again my part of me want to study Cultres and religions to, especially now with my Spirit's and Entity to. The more I think about it. It's probably where I lean towards. In which I have come to terms. Least try to and meant no offense. But Pagan/Wiccan and Luciferian/Satanism (I don't know right names) But it's fear I had with last 2. But that's why fear of the unknown is a very great weapon. also my sever depression. But more I talk about this with my Spirits. The more I want to learn about the last 2. But that 1 person was right. Before I go search for living Community. I need to learn more about Myself.

"When the Time comes. The right People will come and search for you" It's just how would i know when my time is right. What if the right Person had come and I jut ignored it. Once I get better with my communication with my Spirits, would my Spirits know? Or would my Spirits know Something, that I don't know and Living Coven's.

Would they let me know when the time is right? I'm going to copy this to another thread. Since it is going off topic. But for time being I'll just put this here. But I really like each and every one of you and nice to meet you to lori67k

Thank you for sharing your story hon... and yes, Mags overcoming's and growth is inspirational to say the least; I'm sure she doesn't mind those who aspire to be her in the ways that help someone grow, flourish and thrive; at least if I were her; I know I would be okay with it

I used to have severe depression too and was labeled with every mental illness under the sun; turns out I have Asperger's syndrome and once I left behind toxic relationships, situations, environment, people, thoughts, self-talk, etc and began healing and searching out those things that make me feel good; that depression has long since fallen away

One thing I've learned throughout this journey is the harder you push to be more than where and who you are at any given moment, life tends to push back at you that much harder; it often creates resistance, leaving you to feel stuck and most times isolated; this too can trigger depressive episodes.... we each need to learn to go with the flow; have dreams, strive to improve but don't force or rush it

There are several mantras (affirmation, positive intentions, whatever you may call them; all I know is they work for me), I live by now and a few of them, are... "everything... in it's right time" "I always have more than enough" "I am safe in the universe and all life loves and supports me" "I give thanks that I am who I am supposed to be and where I am supposed to be right here and now and I wouldn't change a thing to be more of who I am in this very moment! Thank you, thank you, thank you" "I am detached and open to divine guidance" "I always have more than enough time" and my all time favorite "Always believe something wonderful is about to happen"

These affirmations help to remind me to just breathe... all is going to be okay

I wish you all the best hon on your journey; I truly hope everything sorts itself out for you and on your behalf; you sound like a sweetie and again... it's nice to meet you

Many blessings 1ht

HI lori67k

I just wanted to say I intentionally got myself banned on Elder Scrolls Online Forum for 3 days. I can still access forum, just I can't leave comments. Level 2 warning. It won't happen again though. It's just is why I'm not ready for Black Arts. Least to work with in future. Kinda same applies to me getting banned on Elder Scrolls Forum. I was emotionally unstable, let's say mostly towards this one alliance and hurt in a way and still am.

Hence I did what I did on forum. Just Cyber Bullying is a real thing in this game. Just wish I new sooner that in game we have an option to turn off game zone chat. Otherwise I would've not did what I did and intentionally break the rules. I did warned the Forum Manager and they saw. Which I was hoping they would. I also thank them for banning me Temporarily. I promise it won't happen again. But I wrote 8 pages long as to why I did of why I did it.

I'm honestly happy that they banned me. I just want them to be aware that Cyber Bullying via in game is very terrible. Many times I tried to ignore these Bullies on certain alliance, certain sever and platform. I mean I'm still really hurt by them. After 1+ yrs trying to help them. But all I get I should "kill myself" "no one wants you here" I even got blamed for alliance leaving, because I left another alliance controlling majority of map for 2+ yrs.

Just to help that alliance. I tried to show that it's my alliance 4 months ago. All I got was teabags and fake revives while majority of this alliance was watching this happen to me. I tried to forgave. Hence Why I'm still hurt. Got myself banned intentionally for 3 days so I could cool down. I was hoping I would get banned from game to. At least I did warn Game Forum Administrator.

But just the forums by not allowed leave comment. Just wish I knew about this zone chat off option sooner than later... Plus not to mention again the holiday(s) are really tough for me and in sense I'm going through abandonment issues. Probably going through the same in game to. But hence why I mean I'm not emotionally stable right now. So in which, good example about having no Black Arts (I still believe I have this Un Bound Black Arts where I'm at)

I'm so glad you beaten your depression though it's just I don't think I'll be forever, fully happy. I love my Spirits and Living Entity's. I'm so happy for them be with me in a way. Just the depression is so very strong. Hence I'm so glad no offense, I don't drink Alcohol. After what my Bio dad did and see how he changes, with alcohol. It's horrible. I do love my Bio Dad, despite what he did. It's hard to explain why I love him. I know he is my Birth Dad in this current life and nothing can change that. But he was dangerous with Alcohol. Plus if I drink Alcohol good chance I be like my Bio Dad.

Not to mention, most likely make my depression even worse. I also won't be fully happy, until I find my Bio Birth Family. But I can't do that Until I move. I'm not allowed where I'm living. Least "Physically" search I not allowed (I do wonder though....) I won't be fully happy until I leave both Upper and Lower Yakima Valley. I know I sound ungrateful. It's just yes I call both Upper and Lower Yakima Valley, my home.

Since I'm 26 1/2 currently and I live here for 12 years, (1/2 year in another place and another place off and on to different Foster Homes until I adopted in 2005) Plus 13 yrs in my Bio home. But I won't be fully happy until I get to see places, since I'm kinda like an adventurer.

However I want to thank you lori67k, for sharing your Mantras with me I will give them a shot. If it works for you and stop your depression. I'm willing to do it. Just I unable to leave the area I in, currently with my depression and my Bio family to. I don't mean to vent to. I appologised and sorry to. Your right about Mag to. Thanks again to.

sounds like maybe you need to do gaming solo for awhile with games that allow you to create alliances within the game with the system rather than live people; I guess it's easy to get lost and become mean or even to be bullied and them be bullies... I don't do public gaming but I've read, seen and know others that are into that stuff; I keep to myself a lot so the games I play are just pc ones

I've only been truly on my own, depending on myself and healing within since 2011; for 45 years (I'm 50 now), I finally left the past behind me consumed with abuse, neglect, rejection.... all the stuff you've mentioned; depression was a huge part of that and at first, I didn't believe I could be truly happy either until/unless this happened or that happened; turns out, I needed to stop looking for others to fix me or 'save me', I needed to find ways to release a long term embedded belief that I was broken somehow and needed to be fix; I had to stop looking to others to love me and care for me.... to stop thinking I needed to belong or be accepted or otherwise, i would never have a chance at happiness; the truth was, in all those things I was trying to get others to supply to me; in wanting to belong; those things were the very reasons i never belonged in the first place; why I was't happy and why I was depressed all the time.... when I changed my perspective, took a risk and committed to being there for me... it was the best thing that ever happened to me.... I am now actually appreciative of the 'hell' i went through, suffered and endured because it has brought me to being who I am in this very moment... it didn't define me but it did help me reach for something more and reach within to obtain it; something I never could have done without those experiences.... but these positive changes did not occur overnight; I needed to give myself permission to take care of myself and be committed to whatever was necessary for that to happen and become fully realized

I still have challenging moments when I have a migraine episode but other than that; my life is truly good and now I am surrounded by kind, loving and generous people, my environment is a happy, contented one but most importantly; I don't 'need' others around me to love me anymore; I don't need certain questions to be answered because in all of this I am where I am supposed to be; who I am supposed to be but more than that I am loved by the one and only person whose love truly matters.... me. my happiness now comes from that recognition and being more than okay with that

I believe you will know happiness or at least be at peace and content with wherever you are in your future journey; and once you have those things, then happy you are going to be regardless of anything else that may, or may not happen for you; i truly believe that even if it's not yet your experience; it will be someday

I don't think you sound ungrateful; you're weaving through your life as best you can on your journey to something better; it takes time to become aware of attachments that may be keeping us stuck, to recognize the attachments for what they are and to finally be ready to release those attachments so we can finally 'breathe' old emotions come to the surface in those times and we should never deny ourselves the experiences and expressions of the things that causes us to feel emotional; emotions can be saving graces too but in them we might sound angry or ungrateful but really it can all just be part of the process toward moving forward; so no need to apologize... i get it

Anyway hon, a friend of mine has invited me out to dinner and to go see the christmas light display here in town; so I have to go get ready but will be back online late tonight

wishing you many blessings 1ht

Thanks again for many tips. I think your right about me starting playing single player games. I used to but got Internet 3 1/2 yrs ago. (My adoptive Mom had Internet longer in 2nd house, next door) I think your right for playing single games again. I on PS4 and PC with games. On PS4 I have Witcher 3, Naruto (didn’t want to complete rest due to not finished with last Part of Naruto Shippuden Series) Mine Craft among other single player games from Play station Plus, every month. PC I have Skyrim (Thinking of trying, beyond Skyrim Mod) Kingdom Come Deliverance.

I can't wait for release in 2018, I beta tested it. It single player to. Also this Naval Ship (has very old wood ships, like man of war) has both PvE and PvP. But separate. Rest of Elder Scrolls Series (It's anthology of all past Elder Scrolls, before Elder Scrolls Online. Including Morrowind, Skyrim and all DLC's. Funny thing is I only played Skyrim on Xbox 360. I not good using mouse and keyboard.. I know steam now has big box thing for controllers. But most games on pc not work well with controller. I just have to update my. PC. My PC is loud to with noisy fans.

I'm sorry you had bad past to. Thanks for sharing your story with me to. It does help and your really to kind. So in a way, in another word for weaving. It could also be like a story, the good, the bad and the ugly. Among other things. It’s like I'm a main character in a book. But no matter the hardships I will over come my challenges and being stronger than ever? Thanks again for sharing and have nice dinner and Christmas Lights Display. Thanks for advice with game to. your story help to.

i used to have a ps2 and xbox a long tiem ago. i played god of war on ps2, blinx and buffy on xbox, now i play the sims, gardens inc, mahjong dimensions on my pc

okay.... heading out now. thanks bunches hon ttyl