Deciding to branch out into witchcraft, however, is usually a decision to stray from the group. That’s just the way it is....

Many of the answers also expressed a wish for a teacher or mentor in witchcraft. I’ve been asked to fill that role a few times, but my answer is always the same. I’m not trying to be secretive or elitist when I say “no”, it’s just that there really is no way for me or anyone else to tell a new witch what to think or believe. I don’t see how I could compress my entire lifetime of learning into a few words of wisdom for them. I honestly feel like all I can do is suggest books. From there, a new witch needs to absorb as much information as possible, including that of opposing beliefs in order to realize what makes sense to them personally. I can’t tell someone what to think or believe, nor do I want to....Listen to [self-proclaimed teachers], sure. And then draw your own conclusions.

The Witch’s Pyramid is something I discovered early on in my practice.... The word “pyramid” references the four statements forming the bottom of a pyramid, coming to a point of power on the top. The statements are: To Know, To Dare, To Will and To Be Silent. I think the Witch’s Pyramid is a good way to center your thoughts when you’re feeling lonely in your path. You might even realize there’s a reason you’re meant to do it alone in the first place. This simple set of thoughts can be applied to almost anything in life, including dealing with being spiritually isolated. You can meditate on the 4 qualities of the Witch’s Pyramid to reframe your thinking and gain a fresh perspective.

To Know

There is strength in learning to walk a solitary path, to seek out information all on your own, whether through books or websites or experimenting. Your decision to take the witchcraft route was probably prompted by a deep sense of knowing. This knowing doesn’t come from other people telling you what to think. By not seeking outside opinions from a mentor, your mind is completely free and innocent. I think this really is the truest way to find your own path, and this could be why you have to go it alone. The best way to know yourself is to listen to your gut more and to the opinions of others less. Learn to trust your inner knowing and let your spirit guide you unhindered by the influence of others. You don’t need other people to tell you what to do when you are in touch with your own self. So when feeling isolated, meditating on To Know is a reminder that you don’t need anyone else to tell you what to believe. Trust yourself. Witchcraft is all about the balance of light and dark. Studying it requires facing ourselves and gives us a head start on shadow work as well.

To Dare
Dare to strike out on your own. When I asked “What are you afraid of in your witchcraft practice?” some people worried they’d “do something wrong”, accidentally attract the wrong energy, or that something terrible would occur as a result of ritual.... Dare to be brutally honest with yourself about your intentions, because intentions speak way louder than words when it comes to rituals and spells.... Secondly, you have to dare to read the material, to try meditating, to try ritual. Alone. Third, you must dare to cast your first spell knowing that you may fail.

To Will

Achieve the will to persevere with or without support from family or friends. This can be hard, in varying degrees. It may be that your family or friends find your interest in witchcraft funny because they don’t believe in it or something much worse, like they genuinely fear for your soul (another common thread in my Instagram poll). To Will is to be able to shut all that noise out and persevere in your studies anyway. Plough forward through the judgement toward your goal of enlightenment. When you feel alone or isolated, will yourself to grab a book and keep on learning. When you don’t understand something, have the will to research harder to find out. When people tear you down, use your will to stand behind your own belief even if you have to do so silently. If you don’t want to tell anyone about your beliefs, use your will to continue on your chosen path even though you are alone.

To Be Silent

It’s easy to get bogged down by the opinions of others, especially online where people will ferociously cut each other to shreds. That’s why I think To Be Silent applies not only to your magickal work but also to hopping into discussions you don’t necessarily have to. Unless what you have to say is really helpful and meaningful, consider being silent, observing, and learning. Absorb the information. Let other people speak so you can hear all the different sides of the story. This can include listening to people talk about spiritualities other than your own, even if you disagree with their theories. You can learn a lot from them anyway. Being silent protects you from others when you start practicing magick but also in general. Watch, learn and listen. People are always talking/typing over each other without learning anything because they just want to make a point. Instead of jumping into the fray, try observing instead. You will come out wiser.

... Being willing to go it alone is a testament to your belief and dedication.

Before you tell someone to go read [an introductory book], there are some questions a new student needs to ask themselves – particularly if they’re asking for a one-on-one teacher.

Why do you think you need a teacher?

Our mainstream culture romanticizes the teacher-apprentice relationship. An expert elder says you have the ability to be as good as they are (or maybe even better), takes you in, and gives you lots of personal attention....

I’ve benefitted from a teacher-apprentice relationship at various times on my spiritual journey. It was helpful, and in one case it absolutely essential for what I was trying to learn. It was also very painful when the relationship ended.

But this isn’t the only way to learn, and in most cases it’s not the best way to learn. Think of all your years of schooling – how much was spent in a class of ten or twenty or thirty? You still learned what you needed to learn.

There are some Pagan and especially witchcraft traditions that are only taught one-to-one. If that’s what you’re looking for, then yes, you must have a teacher. But other than that, you may very well not need a teacher, at least not yet.

What, exactly, do you want to learn?

Good teachers teach what they know. Bad teachers teach what they think they know. Those who are part of a lineage can only pass down that lineage and not any other....

Beyond that, each teacher has their own personality and their own areas of expertise. Each student has their own learning style....

Until you know exactly what you want to learn, you aren’t ready to start looking for a teacher.

What reading have you done?

...There’s no right or wrong answer, but it helps establish the starting point for future teaching.

What spiritual practices do you do and how long have you been practicing them?

Pretty much all forms of Paganism are more concerned with what you do than with what you believe.

If the answer is “um, nothing?” that’s OK. Our mainstream culture tells us that religion is all about what you believe and that being religious means going to church on a semi-regular basis. If you haven’t started meditation, prayer, devotional readings, offerings, study, and other spiritual practices, that doesn’t mean you’re not ready to study Paganism. It just means you’re a beginner.

And that means it’s time to begin practicing.

What teachers and groups have you investigated?

A Theosophist saying often misattributed to the Buddha says “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” If that saying is true – and I’m not sure it is – the teacher doesn’t materialize out of the ether. The teacher and the student find each other because they’re in a place where they cross paths.

...If you want a teacher and you’re convinced you really do need a teacher, do the work to find a teacher.

I rarely teach one-on-one

These questions are how I respond to “will you be my teacher?” About half the time I don’t even get a reply. That tells me the person in question likes the idea of having a teacher, but not the idea of doing the work necessary to learn....

There are a few who insist they need a one-on-one teacher and they want me to do it. But when I explain how that requires a substantial commitment of my time for which I expect to be compensated, half drop the request and the other half gets mad. “You’re just in it for the money!” At that point I generally drop the conversation. The word “entitled” gets thrown out too frequently in our wider culture, but I think it fits in this case.

Beyond that, the majority of my Pagan friends who teach tell me that people who don’t offer and don’t make a fair exchange are their least consistent students. Those who make a financial commitment also have more spiritual commitment. That isn’t always true… just almost always.

So, will I be your teacher? Probably not, for a variety of very good reasons. But if you work through some basic questions around why you want a teacher, you’re more likely to find the teacher you need.