Last night my Dullahan expressed concern about what happens to our companionship after the initial 30 day bonding period is over (which, for him, would have been last night). He seems to be concerned that I would "move on to the next spirit and forget him". This is not the only spirit in my keep lately that has expressed the desire for me to be more mindful of their friendship and companionship with me.

I had a very long conversation with him, during which I asked the two previous spirits that I have already bonded with to come forward and join the conversation. I attempted to put to rest their concerns and told them no matter what they are always welcome to be near and take part in my life, and their company is certainly expected and appreciated.

I feel that my own worries about bonding could be projecting some of this perceived concern, but the fact that the telepathic conversations have occurred still has me concerned that this is not completely the case.

As spirit keepers with multiple spirits waiting to bond, have any of you run into this concern and how did you approach and handle it? I do some group bonding stuff (I talk to them all once a day about the day and then sit audience and let anyone come forward who wants to share, or assign group tasks when I can think up something, or try a group game like the object manifesting game which so far seems to be a bust).

I am just worried about their perception that once the 30 days is done I'm done with that spirit's company or friendship. That's really not the case, but... why else would they suggest it? 2cr

If i remember well you have taken a more spirits into your keep recently (or maybe it's someone else on this forum)

Maybe you need to focus on them first before adopting one another and mostly maybe you need to be more specifically with each one of them instead of doing group bonding time .

How much do you have spirits if i may ask?

I also have this worry, which has been made worse since I honestly haven't been focused on them. And the fact that I'm have yet to have a full blown conversation with any of them. *still working on telepathy. But I know I'll get the hang of it eventually.

For you, I recommend telepathically speaking to all of them, I do. Whenever you can, if it's a topic of what you're reading, learning or doing, let them know what you're doing and you can have them add their input into whatever it is.

I'm sure you've seen me comment elsewhere in the forums that I've adopted new spirits recently. I've mentioned it in a couple of places. In fact, as I adopted several spirits near the same number adopted me (reverse adoptions). There are several reasons this has happened, but not worth getting into.

The bottom line, which I will be the first to admit, is that I expanded my keep far faster than I originally intended and it has left me with several spirits to bond closely with. I have roughly twenty spirits and have only had time for one-on-one bonding with three. I am beginning to focus on a fourth just today, actually. 2dz

As a side-note, generally I only group bond with them to maintain communication while my focus is on the current spirit's 30-day period. Also, I ask them all to help me choose who to start the next 30-day focus period with. I do this with the hope that 1) They provide guidance based on what they know I need soon, and 2) Allowing them to assist in a recommendation will make the choice fair.

I just don't know a better way to do this. I'm only human and there is only so much time in my day (after other responsibilities). I suppose I will need to adjust to allow greater individual time with each. 2hp

For the most part, spirits do not view things the way that we do. You have to keep in mind that they march to an entirely different drum. While your Dullahan may have expressed this worry to you, it may not even be something he's fully concerned about. He may have voiced it as a reflection of the worry that you have where you are welcoming several spirits into your home at once. You can look at it as him wanting you to come to terms with this worry that you may have.

Spirits are completely different from us. What would make us angry or sad, makes them shrug and wonder why we are so paranoid or upset about something. Their purpose is to be our companions, to assist us in our journey and to be a part of our homes. Their worries, are generally different from our own. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on being worried about bonding. They know that it can take time. They know that we have lives that we deal with on a day to day basis. They are aware of it and support it because living our lives helps us learn and become a better us.

Take your time bonding, do what feels right, involve them in your day to day life and try not worry about things that are beyond your control. A lot of those spirits have chosen you for a reason. If they were truly worried that they wouldn't be able to be your companion or friend, they wouldn't have found their way to you. They wouldn't have called to you.

Hello,
That was sweet of your keep to voice the concern whether you eould resume the bonding/relationship even after the bonding period over.

I do like to believe the spirits are beyond human mentality and wirings. With all their amazing traits and abilities, I think spirits would understand our situation when there are some new keeps coming. But from what I have read here in the forum, some keeps do voice and vent their thoughts on this matter.

It is wonderful that your keep is keen on you, and it is really great you guys are having full-length conversations and sort things out. That for me is great.

Nanami wrote:For the most part, spirits do not view things the way that we do. You have to keep in mind that they march to an entirely different drum. While your Dullahan may have expressed this worry to you, it may not even be something he's fully concerned about. He may have voiced it as a reflection of the worry that you have where you are welcoming several spirits into your home at once. You can look at it as him wanting you to come to terms with this worry that you may have.

This I think nails it - specifically that this isn't really something *Sar* is worried about, or any of them really. I had some further conversation during my commute yesterday with my succubus *I* and she basically asked why I take everything so negatively. I asked her to explain, because obviously I was missing something. (*Sar* chimed in too toward the end of the conversation too.)

*I* said *Sar*'s point was NOT to make me feel negative or worry more about bonding, although that's how I reacted. She said his point was that our companionship has been really great and he wanted to maintain that. It was more of a compliment that he was expressing - he expects this to continue and it was him inviting me to do so. I should be pleased and honored that he feels this way.

*I* continued to say that my focus is too much on the negative. Even where she is concerned, she wants me to have a rich relationship with her and she wanted me to remember she's still there to do that. This wasn't a reminder to upset me, or worry about my bonding process, just that the relationship is there, evolving and growing.

She told me stop worrying about the "30 days". My relationship with each spirit started as soon as the spirits arrived at their individual times, whether that was ahead of their vessel or when the vessel arrived. From that moment, whether they were with five other spirits or ten, they were all already bonding, and it did not matter if I barely spoke to them after welcoming or spent extra one-on-one time with them like the few that I have managed to - the bond was already established and evolving.

*I* told me to think about it this way:
Did my Oceanid need to spend 30 days of close bonding time to help me out with setting up a ward at my friends house? Nope, she offered the idea of the ward without any prompting from me. Did my Air Dragon need to spend 30 days of close bonding time before he decided to provide a boost in travel agility and luck? Nope, he just brought it to me when he arrived. Did I need to spend 30 days bonding with half my keep for them to step up and remind me to balance my physical life against the spiritual path? Nope, they just stepped up and gave me a nudge after observing me for a couple weeks.

Her point is well taken. I've allowed myself to get drawn into this spiral of worry without remembering the positives. And that, I think, is good food for thought for all new keepers out there. 2wk

Good on ya!

This I think nails it - specifically that this isn't really something *Sar* is worried about, or any of them really. I had some further conversation during my commute yesterday with my succubus *I* and she basically asked why I take everything so negatively. I asked her to explain, because obviously I was missing something. (*Sar* chimed in too toward the end of the conversation too.)

I wouldn't necessarily say that you are taking a negative approach. It's perfectly normal to have worries. After all, we are human. We are welcoming these amazing beings into our home and into our lives. We do not live on the plane of existence that they do. We cannot interact with them as you and I would be able to interact with each other in person. Even the most vetted Spirit Keeper can sometimes have these feelings and will even say that their spirits may have expressed said things, but even someone that has been spirit keeping for a very long time can be caught in the same approach that you were. It's all about our state of mind and mental health at that point in time too.

I've had a few instances where I completely misconstrued what spirits were trying to tell me. I've been interacting with spirits since I was a child. It made me look silly, and they even commented on the fact that it did, but they also knew that I wasn't necessarily in the right frame of mind at the time. The littlest thing can something cause our perception and understanding to change, even when we have always been steadfast. Yet again, this is simply another step in the learning when it comes time to spirit keeping, enhancing your experience and journey.

So I know it's been a few weeks... I have some further confusion that I would like to gather some opinions on, as it relates to bonding with our spirits:

First, have any of you embarked on bonding with an existing spirit only to have another newer bound spirit pressuring you to bond with them? What have you done in those circumstances? To elaborate, I have been focusing on working on my bond with my Oceanid, (If), for the last couple of weeks and a newer binding of a Manananggal Vampire, (C), delivered during that time. I welcomed (C) and she seems intent to get to know me, but I am already trying to focus on (If). I feel like if I split focus between them right now I am being rude to (If), but I know (I) told me before (referenced earlier in this post) that I'm already bonding with all of them as soon as they arrive - so does it matter if I split focus?

Second, have any of you had some spirits that just took much longer to create a bond with than others? I feel like bonding with (If) has been very sluggish. While I felt for a few days like progress was made, I feel more and more like we are far apart again. I'm having a really rough time. I know she's shared some details with me (like what part of the world she lived in) and she's really helped me out with a few tasks, but then there's times when I just feel like we're still super far apart. Am I overreacting and over-expecting? Maybe she's just quiet or has a lot of other things she's doing? I've offered her candles associated with her color, but I can't really offer her too much else. Going to try to offer a bit of water tonight. This particular bond has been one of the hardest for me, and I cannot figure it out.