So my friend with benefits and I have become a couple. I'm excited and happy!

But...

I don't know how to bring up my spirituality with him, especially spirit keeping.

I mean, he's been to my apartment and seen the shrines to the Egyptian gods I honor, Their "public" altar, and my all-purpose working altar, but we haven't really discussed the paranormal or other spiritual/religious topics. I do know he's very agnostic and rejected religious indoctrination as a child/teen.

I don't want this to be something I "hide" from him. I am not ashamed of my spirits or my spirituality, as off-beat and different as it is. But I don't know how to bring it up organically. I am not very good at communicating anyway (yay being on the spectrum) and I don't want to botch what may be a one-time conversation about this.

My question, to those who have SO's who aren't spirit keepers, but know that you are: how did you bring up the topic? How did you have that conversation? How do you navigate your relationship with your non-SK SO vis-a-vis your relationship with your spirit(s)?

A way to encourage a conversation on the subject may be for your S/O to 'accidentally' bump into you while doing something.

When they ask what you're doing, unleash the kraken!

Of course what I mean by 'accidentally' is that you stage it. At a time when you know they'll be walking by and available to chat, you be doing something obviously active with your practice, such as lighting incense and candles on the altar, putting out offerings, praying if that's your thing, meditating.

An interesting idea! I may have to try that. Thanks!

I guess the short version is...i didn't. I just did offerings, etc as I needed and if they asked I explained what I was doing and why. I've had some SO's disregard it as fake and some support it completely. I've had some gain interest in learning and some just go with the flow. You should never hide or take insults for what you believe in, but having to feel as if you should explain it at all is also unnecessary in my mind. Unless they ask of course.

We haven't had the conversation, to me they are just part of me. He is of the mindset he doesn't want to know anything. Years ago I was chatting with an older deceased woman who came to me and as I'm telling her this is outside of the allowed time (I had strict rules in place for wandering spirits) and she's replying, he heard her say a few things and freaked out. That was well before spirit keeping so I haven't said anything. If he asks what up, I'll share. They knew coming here that he was that way and fully accepted it. Although, I know he feels them energy wise he won't say anything.

I would much rather not forge a relationship before such things are shared. I wouldn't want to gamble on how the other person would react, especially if I'm invested in the relationship. What if she saw it in a negative light?

But if you have no other choice, my approach would be to let it all slip under her through omission or 'hidden in plain sight'. Maybe desensitized her to some aspects of my spirit keeping by 'hidden in plain sight', so that before she knows it, she'd think it was all just a peculiar taste in aesthetics or something of this triviality. You could also try to test the waters, but try not to provide foreshadowing (in other words, don't hint that you're into it) - it'd be best if you didn't even ask her on the first place, but try to look into her belief system (as you have done) and perhaps extrapolate what she'd do based on how others of her mindset would've/had reacted.

Morally, this approach can be seen as dishonest or a matter of self-preservation.

It all boils down to disclosure. To disclose or not to disclose? I believe that everyone faces this question, sooner or later. And, from first hand experience, sometimes it is best to withhold, preferably by omission or even with lies or 'half-truths' to keep it hidden.

Trypper wrote: Morally, this approach can be seen as dishonest or a matter of self-preservation.

Great statement : )

Thanks for all the advice, everyone! It gives me a lot to think about.

Trypper wrote:I would much rather not forge a relationship before such things are shared. I wouldn't want to gamble on how the other person would react, especially if I'm invested in the relationship. What if she saw it in a negative light?

But if you have no other choice, my approach would be to let it all slip under her through omission or 'hidden in plain sight'. Maybe desensitized her to some aspects of my spirit keeping by 'hidden in plain sight', so that before she knows it, she'd think it was all just a peculiar taste in aesthetics or something of this triviality. You could also try to test the waters, but try not to provide foreshadowing (in other words, don't hint that you're into it) - it'd be best if you didn't even ask her on the first place, but try to look into her belief system (as you have done) and perhaps extrapolate what she'd do based on how others of her mindset would've/had reacted.

Morally, this approach can be seen as dishonest or a matter of self-preservation.

It all boils down to disclosure. To disclose or not to disclose? I believe that everyone faces this question, sooner or later. And, from first hand experience, sometimes it is best to withhold, preferably by omission or even with lies or 'half-truths' to keep it hidden.

I do agree with this! 1ak


As far as your question, I wanted to add a bit too. In our case when we met I was a witch, I "talked to dead people" as he teased me about, I do offerings etc. He knows what he's getting into just he has no interests in the specifics. One time only he actually partook in a spell to see what it was like and he nicely said after not for him. It sounds like you live your life authentically so it probably wouldn't be a surprise. I can tell you from our relationship it took almost ten years before he ever asked to join in. So don't be disappointed if it never happens or is slow. Some people I think just aren't open all the way.... although he's a lot more than he used to be. Best of luck to you! Have you chatted and asked your spirits their thoughts on it?

Feel free to fly your broom under the radar if anything about speaking out makes you feel unsafe. You are not obliged to speak about your path with anyone. Not everyone lives in a place where they’d be safe from repercussions or prejudice if word got out that they worshipped a pantheon of deities, conjured spirits, had any form of interaction with pretty much ANY of the spirits and entities mentioned here, etc. Suddenly, prejudicial treatment might start happening to them in work, at school, among family, etc. if the gossip mill got started.

So think long and hard about your entire life situation, not just the romantic relationship, and whether trusting the wrong person now will lead to aggravation later. (Revenge porn might be illegal in some places, as it should be everywhere, but revenge gossip is not.)