Hello! I'm interested in getting a ubi spirit and as the title would suggest, I am a gay guy. So, I have some questions that the average person might not have.

First, do I get an Incubus or a Succubus? The obvious answer would be Incubus, but I read somewhere that the terms were more indicative of top/bottom sexual preferences rather than gender, so I wanted to clarify on that.

Second, can spirits have sexual orientations and sexual preferences? Does that kind of thing even matter to them?

Thanks!

Hi Scourge - one of my succubus spirits taught me an interesting lesson this weekend, which was that "form" does not matter when it comes to the pleasure that they can provide. She purposely was formless to make her point, and she was still capable of kicking off multiple sensations in my body at once so that I felt as if there was more than one partner doing more than one action to different places on my body at the same time. It was like a blanket of arousal and erotic sensations. Now, she was doing this to "compete" with my other succubus, but that's beside the point.

To that end, I don't think it matters beyond an Incubus is a dominantly male spirit and a succubus is a dominantly female spirt. Meaning that which one works best for you may depend on what your preferences are - a man who is more feminine or masculine.

Or in other words, if you prefer a more feminine partner in behavior and energy, perhaps a succubus who prefers taking male forms is what you should look for. Otherwise, if you prefer a more masculine partner in behavior and energy, go with an incubus.

Of course, in truth I would bet if you simply go with an incubus assuming they are "male" then you would still be matched to a spirit that would be a great fit with your energy anyways.

As far as I can tell, my succubus spirits have no qualms with sexual orientation and are very polyamorous. In fact, even many of my non-sexual spirits don't seem to have any "orientation" like we do in modern human society. Actually, some of them think it's pretty funny that we have these hang-ups.

If you decide to purchase a spirit from CH my recommendation would be to do a custom conjure and explain in the notes that you are gay and looking for a spirit that will be the best fit. A custom conjured incubus would probably be the best choice to start with, but you could even add a note that they could conjure a succubus if they think a succubus that prefers male forms would be the best fit out of any spirits that come forward. Either way, it seems to me that you would find a great match.

Ubis don't care about orientation. They are a very sexual species. I'd be more careful with other species but you can specify what you want (even preferences or fetishes). Just like Reg explained in detail, get an Incubus.

I want to add that I have some sexual spirits (Vampires, Demons and Humans too! Their orientation is 'more fixed', I think.) and entities of the same sex. I haven't requested a lesbian or bisexual spirit, they just came through that way. Oy vey, they know!

Scourge wrote: Second, can spirits have sexual orientations and sexual preferences? Does that kind of thing even matter to them?

Yes, they can. And it is influenced by how their preference was when they were still alive. When they became spirits, it doesn't mean they automatically became "enlightened" and changed their orientation etc.

Try to consult with the spirits first about their preference and their attraction, as it's quite disrespectful to assume that they are sexually attracted to and always want to hanky panky with us : )

I think this might help somewhat: I'm someone who identifies as a nonbinary transgender person (I see myself as neither male or female... and I used to also be on testosterone hormones too back then for a few years and stopped..my appearance has shifted a lot throughout my life but I look more I guess feminine today like my profile avatar) and I am also bisexual so I ended up going with an incubus and succubus who were not particularly set on a sexuality but just seem more sexually fluid. The succubus I chose doesn't have a preference toward men or women and that was already part of her description since she was already bound to the vessel, and I got my incubus from CH's custom conjure through a triumvirate binding, I wrote in the notes to them about my identity just in case -- I have the same suggestion as everyone else you can just write in the notes or send a message to any conjurer who does a custom conjure of an incubus to tailor it to what you desire and am looking for. c:

Also I happen to have a male nympho that preferred to go to "female keepers only".. I don't even identify as internally female but I'm okay if people gender me as "she/her/girl/woman" (ugh it sounds confusing writing it out but everyone who personally knows me gets what I mean lol) so it still worked out haha. I have a bisexual male nympho too. I even have a human male spirit that wanted to go to a "female keeper only" too and I took him in and he loves being here with me anyway. Idk I'm a trans person so in the beginning I was also trying to navigate this stuff like crazy.

And like above said yes I believe some ubi can have different 'sexualities' and whatnot, but they don't care about the orientation. There are some that are more inclined to wanting a male keeper and some that do not have a preference to who it is. I've seen Billy from ThePaganShop occasionally post up pre-conjured incubuses that want to go to a male-identified keeper only. I'm sure CH can do the same too with their custom conjures.

I'd just like to add that I thought an insightful recent comment in a similar thread usefully highlighted the distinctions between:

a) what biological sex a spirit was when alive (which I imagine can include being physically intersex);
b) what gender they identified with, or whether they had gender dysphoria when alive, or were non-binary or gender fluid etc;
c) what their sexual preference was or is;
d) whether they are capable of - and happy to do - shapeshifting to look like something, eg a sex or gender, different from their own actual one.

Giving detailed notes with the order on what your needs are is never a bad thing.

Scourge wrote: First, do I get an Incubus or a Succubus? The obvious answer would be Incubus, but I read somewhere that the terms were more indicative of top/bottom sexual preferences rather than gender, so I wanted to clarify on that.

My two Succubi often like to be on top and in control of our intimate time together. But, they are extremely feminine, energywise, and just know how to seduce me. So, Succubi can have dominant personality traits to go along with their feminine energy.

I would imagine an Incubus would have masculine energy. One thing you could do, is get both an Incubus and a Succubus. If you get the bindings at the same time, they would come to you as a couple.

Magnolia wrote a wonderful post on the topic:

topic61585.html

Hope this helps!