Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

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Alys-RaccoonReadings
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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Alys-RaccoonReadings » Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:19 am

It could be losing bits of yourself, from one school of thought.

From another, it could be more a question of losing and gaining access to different aspects of the Whole—however one conceives of the the Whole (your whole self or the whole universe or somewhere in between.)



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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Likes2Read » Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:34 am

There are folks out there who are trained in soul retrieval, the bringing back of lost fragments and reintegrating them so that the person can be healed and made whole. That sounds like the polar opposite of trying to exterminate or cut off a part of oneself.

I really don’t recommend the attempt to destroy or cut off anything without having someone trained to analyze the situation doing an in-depth exam first.

There’s a big difference between an unhealthy thing like a feeder hanging around, vs. a normal aspect of one’s self that we need to acknowledge and make peace with. The feeder’s got to go. The parts of ourselves, not so much. We need to understand those parts of ourselves, even if we’re not at ease with them at first.

We don’t have to let those parts of ourselves take the driver’s seat if we don’t want them running the show. And if they’re in need of healing before they’ll function properly, getting that healing is a valid next step. But if they’re a normal aspect of being a human, we can’t just discard them (or cripple them or impair them or attempt to destroy them) and stay healthy.


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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Regholdain » Tue Feb 26, 2019 4:51 pm

I think you are attempting to reconcile your varying experiences prior, during and after what you have gone through in an attempt to find a single explanation for what has happened. The problem with this is you have described three very different things now, and they are not all clearly rooted together.

The first is the detection of an entity that was attacking you from the outside to "amplify" something inside you, resulting in your shadow self becoming a powerful force of its own. I cannot tell if this was something you realized before or after the second thing you describe.

That second thing, unless I've misunderstood you, is that you have made it clear that you fought this amplified shadow self and utterly destroyed it, or perhaps defeated it to the point where it no longer has any power. The problem I see with this is you attacked yourself and not the cause of the problem. This reminds me of Ash vs Evil Dead where his hand attacks him, so he cuts it off. In the end it just made the problem worse. While that's entirely a fictional horror show and I don't believe any reality is reflected there, it is a good metaphor for what I'm trying to say. I don't think that you are done facing this issue. There are consequences to things like this. You do not know what effect it has on your spirit, soul, or mind.

That said, back to the first thing - the external entity - you did say this was dealt with by the Shaman, I think? If it was finally banished, you should be free of its influence. However, I think you should continue to work with protection methods, as if it has some sort of bond with you it very well could find its way back to you. If I remember correctly you have said in other posts this entity was connected to you in a past life. If that is the case, it will likely be back unless you have broken that tie. I recommend looking into past life work to see what you can do to help dissolve that tie. You may need to have some magic performed for you to help dissolve the tie or break it.

Now, more recently, you've introduced even more comments into this discussion about feeling like you were transforming into a "Gaki" before the incident occurred. Have you considered this was a symptom of what the entity was doing to you? You are not going to be physically transformed into a ghost. As far as I am concerned that is not possible except in fiction. What others may have perceived externally in that time and what you experienced internally could all be due to what the entity was doing to your mind, aura, and spirit.

You referenced to an earlier post where I described a necromancy viewpoint that the shadow is a part of the soul, is a reflection of our identity, and how when we lose sight or reject that identity it is possible that this causes us to be unable to move on when we die. My point was you still may have to reconcile this issue, especially if you have lost a part of yourself that you identify with as who you are. Only introspection and shadow work can help you determine if this is what you have done in this fight. However, this is partly why I believe you have not finished facing what the entity has caused you to do. There seems to be a lot more work ahead of you.

Remember also, that I am not a necromancer or a magical sage of any prominence. I am a 7 month-experienced Spirit Keeper who has read a lot about necromancy and other subjects. I only attempt to relate what people say to what I've read and what I've experienced, but in no way do I want you to think I am an authority on these matters. I am not.

As others have said in varying ways, time and again, removing part of our psyche is not a healthy answer to any situation.

I would add my own perspective - seek out a knowledgeable skilled medium who is also a Demonolatry Necromancer. Explain this situation to them and what you have done. Have them perform a ritual to discover if you have damaged the shadow of your soul or if it is in tact. If it is damaged or removed they can help you heal and reunite it with your soul. Afterwards you would still have some shadow work to do, but at least you can be assured of a healthy spiritual life in the meantime.



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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Wizard » Wed Feb 27, 2019 6:14 am

Regholdain wrote:I think you are attempting to reconcile your varying experiences prior, during and after what you have gone through in an attempt to find a single explanation for what has happened. The problem with this is you have described three very different things now, and they are not all clearly rooted together.

The first is the detection of an entity that was attacking you from the outside to "amplify" something inside you, resulting in your shadow self becoming a powerful force of its own. I cannot tell if this was something you realized before or after the second thing you describe.

That second thing, unless I've misunderstood you, is that you have made it clear that you fought this amplified shadow self and utterly destroyed it, or perhaps defeated it to the point where it no longer has any power. The problem I see with this is you attacked yourself and not the cause of the problem. This reminds me of Ash vs Evil Dead where his hand attacks him, so he cuts it off. In the end it just made the problem worse. While that's entirely a fictional horror show and I don't believe any reality is reflected there, it is a good metaphor for what I'm trying to say. I don't think that you are done facing this issue. There are consequences to things like this. You do not know what effect it has on your spirit, soul, or mind.

That said, back to the first thing - the external entity - you did say this was dealt with by the Shaman, I think? If it was finally banished, you should be free of its influence. However, I think you should continue to work with protection methods, as if it has some sort of bond with you it very well could find its way back to you. If I remember correctly you have said in other posts this entity was connected to you in a past life. If that is the case, it will likely be back unless you have broken that tie. I recommend looking into past life work to see what you can do to help dissolve that tie. You may need to have some magic performed for you to help dissolve the tie or break it.

Now, more recently, you've introduced even more comments into this discussion about feeling like you were transforming into a "Gaki" before the incident occurred. Have you considered this was a symptom of what the entity was doing to you? You are not going to be physically transformed into a ghost. As far as I am concerned that is not possible except in fiction. What others may have perceived externally in that time and what you experienced internally could all be due to what the entity was doing to your mind, aura, and spirit.

You referenced to an earlier post where I described a necromancy viewpoint that the shadow is a part of the soul, is a reflection of our identity, and how when we lose sight or reject that identity it is possible that this causes us to be unable to move on when we die. My point was you still may have to reconcile this issue, especially if you have lost a part of yourself that you identify with as who you are. Only introspection and shadow work can help you determine if this is what you have done in this fight. However, this is partly why I believe you have not finished facing what the entity has caused you to do. There seems to be a lot more work ahead of you.

Remember also, that I am not a necromancer or a magical sage of any prominence. I am a 7 month-experienced Spirit Keeper who has read a lot about necromancy and other subjects. I only attempt to relate what people say to what I've read and what I've experienced, but in no way do I want you to think I am an authority on these matters. I am not.

As others have said in varying ways, time and again, removing part of our psyche is not a healthy answer to any situation.

I would add my own perspective - seek out a knowledgeable skilled medium who is also a Demonolatry Necromancer. Explain this situation to them and what you have done. Have them perform a ritual to discover if you have damaged the shadow of your soul or if it is in tact. If it is damaged or removed they can help you heal and reunite it with your soul. Afterwards you would still have some shadow work to do, but at least you can be assured of a healthy spiritual life in the meantime.
I actually found out and 'confirmed' about the demon later on a moderate while after 'dealing with' the shadow issue. It was later on and not the same thing.

The 'shadow awakening' was the problem 'in conjunction' with the malicious entity or demon who thinks I've "wronged him in the previous realm and life etc etc".

Its a long story but the thing was it looked like it was manifesting externally but based on the aftermath it was 'proven' to be infact what others have said. "Internal manifesting externally". I came to a point where I decided to 'destroy the darkness/infection by destroying its food to starve it of anything to sustain itself with'. The intent was containment, sterilization of and stopping the 'darkness' which worked although at great cost.

I didn't mean it that way, I mean I felt like I was taking on the traits synonymous with them energy-wise slowly during the shadow self conflict. But then again that's just a feeling, and it is gone now so its no longer a problem. Another way to describe the feeling in words was that 'the shadow' was 'going rogue'. The "containment" was successful.

The entity or demon has not been 'dealt with' yet. It was just a finding at the end of a session involving soul retrieval/reunification, and accomplishing a few tasks to fix me up or look into my past. They didn't prepare for that part when encountering them save the measures which helped defend against certain attacks by it.

I didn't know it was the source of the problem when I was trying to 'nuke the food of the shadow/darkness' and after for a time until later on, neither did he previously before finding out. This was before I or them knew as said.



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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Wizard » Wed Feb 27, 2019 6:34 am

-It was like an 'infection related to darkness' or something (In the third last paragraph) that was trying to 'take over me' and which I was concerned might come after others. So I fought it and refused to yield by any means.

So as I said, this was all before the time I found out and confirmed about the entity. Let alone finally seeing evidence first-hand that it was really infact 'internal manifesting externally'.

The 'imagery in head' manifestation I got (Or felt drawn to) 'during the struggle' (Before its conclusion) was of a fighter/person alone treading/running through and trying to find their way out of a silent cold pitch black space that surrounds them.



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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Wizard » Wed Feb 27, 2019 7:24 am

Then again it may have been a ‘karmic lesson’ of sorts, that also comes to mind.

Other case scenario is with that ‘part’ weakened its possibly harder for that being to significantly influence me too much unless it decides to aim its attacks at my physical aspect(s).

I didn’t know and hadn’t considered it was a ‘shadow attack’ (nor heard of such a method) when going through the ordeals anyways before finding out it was ‘shadow related’, then finding out some length of time after that it was said ‘being’ in turn after that.

This finding out account has 3 stages of it.



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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Wizard » Sat Mar 02, 2019 7:10 pm

As far as goes for other details about blockages apparently some of them exist for ‘focusing and getting things done without being overwhelmed too much by energies and feelings’. The shockwaves from the early part of this experience managed to temporarily turn off some of them for quite some time to give insights on different things.

It also switched off or disabled the ‘lower self’ by alot.



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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Wizard » Thu Mar 21, 2019 6:12 pm

I’m not sure if synchronisation but one thing for certain is that every single unfinished business related mundane wish was granted. Not in the way I wanted but certainly they were. One of which relating to explanation for an unexplainable internal void that made me looking for things that remind me of something to fill it, of which almost nothing worked no matter what I tried except small bits in different areas. Some of which being music when synchronised with certain things.

Only thing left to do is to contact this one person I knew in the past which I’m deciding whether to do or not, cause unsure exactly of how they would react because it’s been 16 years.

But why must they happen happen after an extremely traumatic event that makes you think about death and life aside from some blockages being removed? They were like a part of the sequence of events at the end.

I had some baneful intent also against the aspects that acted as ‘obstacles’ or ‘flaws’ mentioned before what sequence of events happened did.



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Re: Fight with shadow self/this force concluded or lead up to scarring ordeal which did

Postby Wizard » Thu Mar 21, 2019 6:23 pm

-symptoms were a drop in blood pressure, feeling coldness and wanting to close eyes etc




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