On the idea that destroying the ‘dark’ part of yourself elevates you?

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HighSkies
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One thing that happened during the period was that I became literally utterly selfless, inside and outside. It was like there was no point whatsoever while the ‘primal’ thing mentioned on another thread was gone, so thus serving others was the only anchoring purpose left.

But I stumbled over and nearly fell many times while walking when whatever ‘damage’ was in effect. When the icy coldness of body temperature, low heart beat and blackness came I could fall asleep for 15-20 hours once without getting up because I was tempted to ‘go through the blackness’ or something.

Was utterly and absolutely ‘grounded’, never been like this point compared to any other time in life. And whenever I’m somehow ‘grounded’ I begin to be able to feel and experience literally everything.


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HighSkies
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At one point when it was real bad the area between the brain and spine felt like it was gonna rupture*


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HighSkies
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^ (In terms of there being pain in that area of the brain - spine)


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Going with Christianity’s take on things, God gave us free will. Period. We always have the choice to do good or evil. That can never be amputated nor destroyed.

There’d be no merit in doing good if we were just automatons without a choice in the matter. The merit comes from CHOOSING the noble path over the selfish path. Those choices are before us in every waking moment. Nothing can amputate them, nor the part of us that reminds us that the self-centered option is there for the taking.

Being a good person takes WORK. Conscious, daily, deliberate WORK. There are no shortcuts. I say this because whatever internal battle royale you experienced, if you think the undesired impulses are gone forever, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.


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Alys-RaccoonReadings
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And, to piggyback on what L2R said, not everything we can do or want is a stark binary of selfless or selfish any more than everything we can do or want is either good or evil. Further, not every act or impulse devoid of selfishness has the kind of value that makes you a “good person.” Many ascetics through history have been irascible cranks more concerned with naval gazing than improving human life.


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It's an interesting scenario, but to believe that you've eradicated a primal nature that is inherently evil and causes you to sin... frankly, you first have to completely believe that the those things which make us human are inherently evil. I realize this is a part of a much larger discussion than intended here, but I do not believe in the Abrahamic view of sin any more. I find it flawed and exceedingly damaging to the individual psychologically and spiritually.

The only reason anyone considers certain things a sin is purely because of the brainwashing of society by those established religions, and that has happened for so many centuries that everyone now takes it for granted. They have stunted the growth and evolution of this world with the concept of "sin".

I don't honestly know what you have experienced, but I do not believe you can destroy your primal nature. You cannot remove that which is a deep part of the human psyche. It just can't happen.

This doesn't mean your experience did not occur. However, I do think you have misinterpreted it and that it needs more evaluation. This is why in other posts I have posited a different situation and recommended shadow work at best and soul repair at worst.


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Good point Reg, I never considered that.
In an effort to banish what he perceives as his complete darkness within and "sinful nature" he is rejecting a part of his core being.
From a Shamanic view, this in itself can lead to soul fragmentation - which could explain the experience itself and why it was so traumatic.
In a similar fashion to a child who feels unwanted by their parents may suffer soul fragmentation at the trauma of it and need soul retrieval later on in life.
Food for thought.


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Scarlet Bloodmoon
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The term “dark” seems to be used often to describe negativity.

To me, the two terms are not synonymous.

However, I can say that alleviating negative energy tends to allow yourself to feel more free or lightweight, as any negative burden can easily weight you down.


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HighSkies
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It was found or hinted that during the months of 'reforming back together' that there were 'bad influences lingering' but of which are gone now. Would it be of no surprise for that to come when being at the most vulnerable and grounded state like this?


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I think anyone who is going through painful experiences, bouts of depression or anxiety, etc., is likely to be emitting energies that will get the attention of whatever sorts of beings feed off that kind of energy. That doesn't mean we are stuck with those spirits or entities for life, but they surely will be coming in for a closer look if we haven't got some kind of protection in place. Our spirit families can help with that, and we can help ourselves with various banishing and cleansing practices, spells, prayers, etc. The beings that want to feed off those energies are going to look for an easier victim if they find that we are giving them pushback and our spirits are chasing them away.


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