Recently I got my first ubi about a week ago. I'm having difficulties connecting with her, but that may just be because of subconscious reasons.

I've been hearing alot about how all dark arts spirits are "bad" and if you think you are in control you are not. This combined with the idea that ubi's feed off their owners scares me. I personally don't believe these things, but it is difficult arguing without others or revealing the (limited) experiances I've had with my ubi.

Connection is not made in one week , i mean like any human relationship you can build one in 1 week ; also, dark arts are not necessarily bad . In here DA is mostsly seen as free will like humans , spirits/entities can decide to act one way or another .

Let time do its thing , meditate and talk to your Ubi and you will be able to have experiences or be more open

Okay, and are there DA spirits worth being afraid of? such as DA unbounds?

Are there DA spirits worth being afraid of? How do you tell the difference between a friendly DA or a unfriendly one?

Any of them is worth being afraid of. From wraith to harpy.
The conjurer would usually test if the beings are friendly or not before binding them. It can be complicated because not disturbing you doesn't mean they're friendly, and disturbing you doesn't mean they're not friendly : p

Even White Arts spirits can be scary: how many times do angels in the Bible say "Don't be afraid"?

My experience is with an inc, and early on, he did give me one really big scare. But then he saw, right away, how genuinely scared I was, and he must have spent, like, a couple of days after that, doing his best impression of (for lack of a better comparison) an apologetic puppy.

And I got to find out just how tender he could be, so all in all, it wasn't a bad thing in the end. If anyone ever asks, make-up sex from an incubus is amazing.

DA sex spirits are no more fearsome than other human lovers, if you stop to think about it. I mean, come on, "murderous ex" is practically a plot coupon in too many horror movies, yeah?

And remind me to tell you about a guy I know, who was working three jobs: one to pay the child support to his bitter ex, one to earn money for himself, and the third to keep even with the taxes on his other two jobs. I doubt a succubus could mess your life up THAT badly, yeah?

She's in your keep for a reason. Give her time, don't be afraid, and make sure you set your house rules. You're the keeper, she's the "kept," and you have the final say in what you do together. The best caveats with succubi are, think twice before you let them modify the rules, and don't play if you're pickled.

You need to be aware that not all people agree on the definition of "Dark Arts" and also that not everyone agrees what a "Succubus Spirit" is.

For example, if you ordered a succubus spirit from Creepy Hollows (which is my assumption) then you have ordered the spirit of a deceased (non-living) succubus. However, other conjurors bring forth succubae from the Inner Spiritual Realms or the Outer Spiritual Realms, and those are living succubus demons. So here the difference is do you have a living entity of the spirit realm or the spirit of a dead entity? This makes a difference as to whether or not they actually need sustenance (i.e. sexual energy) to survive. The spirit of the dead does not need to feed (although that does not mean they have lost the ability to do so).

Specifically in regards to the spirit summoned, the conjurer screens the being to ensure it will not be harmful toward the keeper / companion. In that regard you would not need to be fearful if you are sourcing the binding from a careful and experienced practitioner. Most conjurors do their best to match the new keeper to the spirit's energies, their desires to the spirit's skills, etc. (depending on your request of course, whether specific or open-ended).

As to "Dark Arts", some people consider all Dark Arts "bad" or "negative", as such entities or spirits can be unpredictable, like human beings. However, this is a bit over-reactive. A Dark Arts being can be moody and is able to choose to be good or bad, but they are not to be interpreted as ALWAYS bad. This is why many keepers of Dark Arts spirits put House Rules into effect. Look up House Rules on the forum and you will find some examples. Typically, if you exercise the golden rule, so to speak, with a Dark Arts spirit they would typically reciprocate.

Should you use caution with an unbound or even bound Dark Arts being? Yes. You, ultimately, are responsible for their presence in your life, so you must be cautious with how they interact with you and those around you. Again, House Rules. That said, bound Dark Arts entities are unlikely to harm you, especially from CH.

When it comes to unbound Dark Arts beings, caution is a must. In fact, you should use caution with ANY unbound, even those you may have known in life or whom you have no reason to believe would do you harm. Caution and respect are always good ways to approach the spirit realm.

If this is your first spirit, I advise learning banishment and shielding techniques to assist in ensuring that any manifestations, communications, and interactions are only with your bound companion.