The Hunger

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Lewk
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Re: The Hunger

Postby Lewk » Wed Jul 31, 2019 3:16 am

Satan's Hellcat wrote:Have you ever considered that your work with Vampiric energies might have Awakened you? Awakening can happen at any age, or it might not happen at all. I have ALWAYS drawn energy, but not consciously until lately when I Awakened, and never this much. It is just crazy how much I need now. I partially Awakened during interactions with a Dele Clan spirit here at CH, then a real world Psi Vamp visiting here brought me completely over. So while it is true that you are born a Vampire, and no one can make you one, you can be triggered to Awaken by certain circumstances and energies or being around Awakened Vamps.


I don't think I've reached that point yet, if I ever will, as far as I can tell.

I believe I was open to negative 'psychic vampire' type people and negativity for a long time. That long lasting contact may have sensitised me more to energy drain and to appreciate things like chi accumulation. Then when I learned more of those sort of techniques, gradually from the early 1990s to 2000s, maybe I have just become more aware of all of this.

I've done the Initiation into Hermetics methods for drawing in various energies, a number of chi kung ones for accumulating chi, semi-occult/psychic energy work ones for absorbing cosmic energy; techniques for expelling bad energy and drawing in good stuff. I do a thing where if I'm walking past a stale stinky rubbish bin I breathe out black energy chi at it, hold my breath and turn away and breathe in good chi from another, fresher direction. I often have to stop myself drawing in energy from trees or the environment or people without thinking when I do that. But to me it's just about the discipline of being in control of where I take in energy from. I don't feel a need to take from anything but 'natural' sources. I have sometimes toyed with the idea that it's like being a connoisseur of fine energies, like you have connoisseurs of fine wines. A good wine is fine but there's also the appreciation of the rich diversity of wines (energies) out there.

It's been like that for 10-20 years. More so in the last 6 since I got Eclipse Metaphysical guardians and amulets that can draw any type of energy from around me and transmute it then pass it to me. I have one that takes energy from hurricanes. So...all in all...psychic vamping makes a lot of sense to me. But I confess I don't feel a hunger like you have described.


Don’t be scared. This island is full of noises, strange sounds and sweet melodies that make you feel good and don’t hurt anyone. Sometimes I hear a thousand twanging instruments hum at my ears, and sometimes voices that send me back to sleep even if I had just woken up—and then I dreamed of clouds opening up and dropping such riches on me that when I woke up, I cried because I wanted to dream again. Caliban, The Tempest, Shakespeare
\/

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Aprophis
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Re: The Hunger

Postby Aprophis » Wed Jul 31, 2019 7:00 am

.....don't tell me you forgot about the feeding construct I made for you, SH...again.


Two Roads diverged in a yellow Wood and I took both, for I am Quantum.
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Re: The Hunger

Postby Satan's Hellcat » Wed Jul 31, 2019 4:34 pm

Aprophis wrote:.....don't tell me you forgot about the feeding construct I made for you, SH...again.


I didn't forget. I am not welcome in there anymore, Aprophis. *shrugs* The feeding construct was a VERY nice feature, but it was kibble. I need to keep my skills as a predator sharp. Also, it was a bit insulting. Like having someone state "no mass murders on the website". I mean, DUH. It's not to say there are no mass murderers out there, but you cannot expect ME to be one just because I am Vampire. MOST Vamps have manners, including about feeding. No one told the Demons they could not spell people. They DO, but it is always for a good reason, and was never harmful. They would not like it if they were told they could not use their common sense and act like a Demon on that forum. Neither do I like being asked not to be a Vampire! I will not mention it again. It is their rule, and their website, so I would have abided by it, especially since you went to such lengths to make me comfortable there. It was really sweet of you. I was hunting outside their forum, but it set a bad precedent. I got attacked and they believed the other person, so it really is a moot point now. 'nuff said.


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Re: The Hunger

Postby Satan's Hellcat » Wed Jul 31, 2019 5:10 pm

Lewk wrote:
Satan's Hellcat wrote:Have you ever considered that your work with Vampiric energies might have Awakened you? Awakening can happen at any age, or it might not happen at all. I have ALWAYS drawn energy, but not consciously until lately when I Awakened, and never this much. It is just crazy how much I need now. I partially Awakened during interactions with a Dele Clan spirit here at CH, then a real world Psi Vamp visiting here brought me completely over. So while it is true that you are born a Vampire, and no one can make you one, you can be triggered to Awaken by certain circumstances and energies or being around Awakened Vamps.


I don't think I've reached that point yet, if I ever will, as far as I can tell.

I believe I was open to negative 'psychic vampire' type people and negativity for a long time. That long lasting contact may have sensitised me more to energy drain and to appreciate things like chi accumulation. Then when I learned more of those sort of techniques, gradually from the early 1990s to 2000s, maybe I have just become more aware of all of this.

I've done the Initiation into Hermetics methods for drawing in various energies, a number of chi kung ones for accumulating chi, semi-occult/psychic energy work ones for absorbing cosmic energy; techniques for expelling bad energy and drawing in good stuff. I do a thing where if I'm walking past a stale stinky rubbish bin I breathe out black energy chi at it, hold my breath and turn away and breathe in good chi from another, fresher direction. I often have to stop myself drawing in energy from trees or the environment or people without thinking when I do that. But to me it's just about the discipline of being in control of where I take in energy from. I don't feel a need to take from anything but 'natural' sources. I have sometimes toyed with the idea that it's like , being a connoisseur of fine energies like you have connoisseurs of fine wines. A good wine is fine but there's also the appreciation of the rich diversity of wines (energies) out there.

It's been like that for 10-20 years. More so in the last 6 since I got Eclipse Metaphysical guardians and amulets that can draw any type of energy from around me and transmute it then pass it to me. I have one that takes energy from hurricanes. So...all in all...psychic vamping makes a lot of sense to me. But I confess I don't feel a hunger like you have described.


Yes, I have used other techniques to draw in energy, too. It works quite a lot better if you are a Vamp! XD I have not gotten to the point of being picky about energy yet. If I were a healthy Vamp, I would only pick the best energies I could find. I would be that "connoisseur of fine energies" by now. Instead I draw in as much as my damaged systems can handle, as often as I can. The idiot who attacked me KNEW the damage they did. On more than one occasion, they stopped my heart, or gave me arrhythmias, then traveled back in time and undid it until they learned just how much I could take without dying. I think they did this because as an Angel, the connection with their Higher Selves would have been lost if they killed me. Can you commit murder and have a relationship with your Higher Self? The pain is hard to take, and my Demons do not like me being on prescription pain meds, but they also know what I feel and understand I could not tolerate this level of pain without it. The damage to my nerves got so bad that I was dragging my feet and had no reflexes. No doctor could understand WHY, because the answer was something they are not taught to understand or believe in. I am experiencing symptoms way beyond what a few years of diabetes can do, especially since I take such good care of mine. I still have great great pain, but CH has pretty much saved my life with their protection magicks. I am too sick to protect myself now. I can still feel the idiot pounding at my shielding and attempting to get in. I am not even sure I can draw in enough to live much longer. If he gets in, then I am toast. :(


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My magical/paranormal name...: Easthorse Indigo

Re: The Hunger

Postby Lewk » Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:09 pm

I very much feel for you and the situation you're in. It's good to read that CH protection is helping. I'm wondering if you have thought of asking whether CH has something specialist that can ease the energy imbalance / deficit that is also affecting you?

This is way beyond my own knowledge. If yours was not a special situation of someone who is a type of psychic vampire, I might suggest a book by a reputable expert on standing practice chi kung, which is adapted simply for people who are too unwell to stand and need to sit or even are bedbound. Just as clean air and good food and rest and good sleep plus appropriate levels of physical activity form a foundation for good health and wellbeing, so too can chi kung that increases your levels of chi. Perhaps that might be a useful add-on, even for a psi vampire that has a need for a special kind of energy input that is different from 'ordinary' chi?

Please forgive me if my comments are way off the mark. My thought process goes something like this: even psi vamps need to breathe, eat and drink (?) ...so maybe you also need or might benefit from good 'ordinary' chi levels too?


Don’t be scared. This island is full of noises, strange sounds and sweet melodies that make you feel good and don’t hurt anyone. Sometimes I hear a thousand twanging instruments hum at my ears, and sometimes voices that send me back to sleep even if I had just woken up—and then I dreamed of clouds opening up and dropping such riches on me that when I woke up, I cried because I wanted to dream again. Caliban, The Tempest, Shakespeare
\/

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Re: The Hunger

Postby Aprophis » Thu Aug 01, 2019 6:32 am

Satan's Hellcat wrote:I didn't forget. I am not welcome in there anymore, Aprophis. *shrugs* The feeding construct was a VERY nice feature, but it was kibble.

I made you a private one. I handed it over to you, personally, into your home. Just for you to use.
I even tuned it until you said it was perfect and had all the vibrations you needed.
The next day you forgot. Then you blamed some being from a world another person there discovered to have wiped your mind, if you can remember that. And everything went downhill from there.

I do think you have memory issues, but those are not caused by beings from other worlds. Probably more health and/or age related.


Two Roads diverged in a yellow Wood and I took both, for I am Quantum.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aksho Kharneth Akhash
Aksho Slaaneth K'Khaa
Aksho Tzeeneth Phaos
Aksho Nurgleth Dh'Akh
Image

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Re: The Hunger

Postby Satan's Hellcat » Thu Aug 01, 2019 9:51 am

Aprophis, I honestly thought that was tuning the website feeder so that it would be more appealing to all that used it. So when you said you made one for me, of course I denied it. I did not allow it in my house, because I did not understand you were making the device for me alone. My shields would have blocked it. A misunderstanding on my part, or even the work of the guy trying to hurt me. Yes, Spell damage can cause memory issues, and I have a LOT of that. No, I am NOT mentally unstable. Yes, some issues are caused by alien devices. Sorry, they just are. I guess you have to have some explanation to go with, but please do not infer I am mentally ill just because you have no idea what I have been through. Although I don't necessarily blame you. Not many would understand. *shrugs* I'll leave it at that.


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Re: The Hunger

Postby Aprophis » Thu Aug 01, 2019 9:56 am

Satan's Hellcat wrote: No, I am NOT mentally unstable. Yes, some issues are caused by alien devices. Sorry, they just are. I guess you have to have some explanation to go with, but please do not infer I am mentally ill just because you have no idea what I have been through. Although I don't necessarily blame you. Not many would understand. *shrugs* I'll leave it at that.

I didn't infer any of that nor did I even try to.
I said you were forgetful. You are diabetic and memory loss can be a part of the issues. So, health or age related.
And I told you that I'll make one specifically for you and you accepted it. You even said your demon was playing with it since it was sphere shaped.


Two Roads diverged in a yellow Wood and I took both, for I am Quantum.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aksho Kharneth Akhash
Aksho Slaaneth K'Khaa
Aksho Tzeeneth Phaos
Aksho Nurgleth Dh'Akh
Image

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Satan's Hellcat
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My super power would be...: Ability to shape-shift
My magical/paranormal name...: Satan's Hellcat

Re: The Hunger

Postby Satan's Hellcat » Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:07 am

Aprophis wrote:
Satan's Hellcat wrote: No, I am NOT mentally unstable. Yes, some issues are caused by alien devices. Sorry, they just are. I guess you have to have some explanation to go with, but please do not infer I am mentally ill just because you have no idea what I have been through. Although I don't necessarily blame you. Not many would understand. *shrugs* I'll leave it at that.

I didn't infer any of that nor did I even try to.
I said you were forgetful. You are diabetic and memory loss can be a part of the issues. So, health or age related.
And I told you that I'll make one specifically for you and you accepted it. You even said your demon was playing with it since it was sphere shaped.


My Doc said that diabetes cannot cause all the things going on with me in the short time I have had it. Yes, I checked with her. Thank you for NOT inferring I am mentally unstable, then. Can I honestly say there has been no damage, either? Nope. I know there has been. Starving Vamps can get nerve damage unexplained by other things. I honestly cannot remember saying that to you, but if my understanding was the Demon was playing with the website equipment, then you can see what happened.


MANY spirits of all types, entities, and some servitors. Massive amount of spells.

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My super power would be...: Ability to shape-shift
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Re: The Hunger

Postby Satan's Hellcat » Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:38 pm

Amazing, but I find...it cannot hurt me any more. I love my Demon Companions and I am very grateful to those who brought them to me. Those who betrayed and hurt me cannot any more. Why should I care what others think? I am no saint, and it is not an act of altruism. Lord Satan knows what happened and so do my Demons, and they know what it cost me to give up the rage and desire for revenge. They pointed out the mistakes I made, and the emotions behind what was happening (my own and those of others.) They have done everything in their power to make it right for me. They are the ones who matter to me. I have been busy and made good solid advances in my magick. I conjured a Son Of Satan, and a DC under My Spec. Commander, Lady O. I CHOOSE to let it go and find peace despite the evil in my life. It really is okay! It is my sincere wish that others find Demon Companions and know the power and joy and self discipline they can bring into a life. I have no desire to do or say anything that would stop people from finding that kind of knowledge and support.


MANY spirits of all types, entities, and some servitors. Massive amount of spells.


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