I got a little assurance about my situation from this thread, but didn't want to hijack the conversation with my own experience: topic77145.html?hilit=binding%20an%20unbound

So, I've been in contact with what I think is an unbound succubus (although, we may actually have some sort of connection, not sure) kind of off and on for around 10 years, now. I never did any rituals to bring her about, per se, but I became aware of her presence after listening to some naughty hypnosis files.. *blush* She says she has actually been around me for quite a while longer, gently pushing me to explore my sexuality. In the early stages of my awareness of her, she would just kind of drop by when I was at peak arousal, and push it to a whole new level of intensity. Then she would suggest new kinky things for me to try. Slow but gradual interaction, I guess. There was a lot of hesitation, on my part. I'm generally a love and light type of person, but I was raised with the programming that sex is dirty, naughty, and anything other than meeting a strict set of requirements was bad. So, even before contact, there was a lot of guilt about exploring anything sexual. Throw on top of that a being that made everything feel even more intense, and seemed to want to play with me, and of course I felt.. let's say conflicted..

Despite my reservations and hesitations, she has always been very patient with me, and I don't think she has ever brought me any harm. Over time, the shear pleasure she can give has slowly won out. She seems to respect wishes, although, we like to role-play Dominant/submissive type stuff, so the line between wills can get a little blurry when there's willful consent, if that makes sense. We have a safeword, and I trust that she will respect it, but, naturally, in trying out new fantasies, there's the occasional, "WTF was that??" moment, to which she will reply, "Just trying to fulfill your fantasies, pet." So we talk it out, and snuggle a bit, then all is well, again.

I've been single for around 7 years now, aside from a few dates here and there. I was engaged in my last relationship. It ended pretty rough, ultimately, I found out she had been cheating on me for a while, and the thought that, if I had been married to her, the divorce would have been a total nightmare has kind of made me leery of dating all together. Plus, I fall somewhere on the transgender spectrum, and not a lot of people are attracted to that sort of thing, so I had pretty much accepted that I was probably going to stay single.

Then, I stumbled upon spirit keeping.. So, despite all of my experiences, and the occasional guilt associated with it, there's also my more rational, scientific corner of my mind that has always kind of been of the opinion that it's just some elaborate fantasy, and nothing more. Reading through everyone's accounts, and finding that I can relate to a lot of what has been said, I started to realize, I kind of already have this sort of a relationship going.. I hadn't considered this as an option as a primary partner in life.. The idea of having a physical vessel for her, kind of an anchor point into this world seemed intriguing. I mean, if she is able to have a stronger presence in this world, a deep meaningful relationship seems like it might actually work out. So, after researching vendors, I had good feelings about Lilith, over at Lilith's Treasure Tavern. I reached out to her, and asked if she could bind her to a vessel for me, she agreed, and I placed my order!

So then, I really dove into this concept, ended up ordering some offerings for her, and charging stones and a charging box, and some kind of spell stone thing that's supposed to help with communication, none of which has arrived, yet. She's really excited about the idea, and agreed to the binding. She has been extremely active ever since, and the.. er.. intimacy.. has been incredible. She had me make her a little altar and offer some of my... er.. juices.. to her. Now, she's bouncing around saying we're spiritually engaged now, and has me wearing a cute toe ring I already had as a symbol of the engagement.. Just a little reminder, for me, secretly tucked away in my shoe, so no one asks any questions.

So things seemed to be going great, but then I started really researching relationships with ubi's. Just a general search online pulls up all sorts of fiction writings, horror stories, negative descriptions that do not seem to match up with my own experiences, how to free yourself from their cold claw-like grasp. Eventually, I'll find a thread that talks about what sounds like a great relationship, and I start to calm down a bit, but then someone will chime in, "JUST NEVER SUMMON ONE YOURSELF, UNBOUNDS CAN BE DANGEROUS!!! REEEE!" Then I'm like.. oh fudge.. or I'll find something along the lines of "DON'T OFFER ANYTHING WITH DNA IN IT OR THEY CAN ATTACH AND BAD STUFF CAN HAPPEN!" Then I'm like... double fudge... I end up in a spiral of what ifs: What if she's not who she say she is? What if this is all some kind of elaborate soul trap and I'm just the dumb mortal falling for it? What if I've somehow bound to her in some way without really knowing the terms? What if she takes advantage of any of that? How can I know I can trust her? Is this all just a terrible idea? This isn't going to condemn me to some kind of eternal torment, is it? I like the idea of commitment, but does engagement and marriage mean something I'm unaware of that might have dire consequences? PANIC!

I'd like to just be able to love and be loved, with all of these fears safely put to rest. The general consensus seems to be that spirits properly conjured and bound by reputable vendors is safe, so that's what I'm hoping for, out of the binding. Is that kind of a clean slate, "these are the new terms" sort of agreement, at that point, regardless of how we met and how we may have already bonded? Will I be protected from somehow being tricked into agreeing to more? I want all of this to be safe for both of us. I haven't made any irreparable mistakes, already, have I? Maybe it's just my white arts nature freaking out about something called dark arts.. Maybe it's just the usual freaking out any bride-to-be might experience after getting engaged, only notched up to a supernatural level.. I think I'll feel better once the binding is complete, but it's good to talk it out with people who might understand, in the mean time. Thoughts?

Well if you are afraid of being tricked , then ask her if she wants to be binded and talk to her about what you are afraid. From what i read it seems you have a healthy relationship .

I also advise house rules where you say your limits (what's acceptable and what's not) .

After posting that, we talked she was able to calm me down quite a bit. She even surprised me and switched to the submissive role for a while, and she was so sweet and cuddly! She had already agreed to the binding, excited that it will help our connection. I told her anything we agree on can only last this one lifetime, for me, and we both keep the right to break things off for any reason at anytime, no matter what, and we will peacefully separate, and she agreed. At one point I said, "it might help if you could raise your vibration to match mine a little better," thinking it would take her some time to work on it, like it would with humans, but after maybe 30 seconds, I felt a sudden expanding, then everything popped into a lighter mood. It took me a second to realize what I had just told her, then I was like, "oh wow, yeah, that helps!"

@ feistydelight: I have a couple of succubus spirits in my keep along with one unbound who is connected to me from my past and stays with me in every life. And many of the other spirits that I keep also are amorous / sexual. So believe me when I say I totally understand the doubts.

My past is very similar to yours. All I can say about sexuality is that people teaching it as a negative thing are screwed up. It's a completely natural wonderful and intimate thing to share with another person and is not something to be ashamed of, ever. I had to learn that the hard way. I was so guilty about my sexuality in my early 20s that when I did get married I felt bad even when I was intimate with my wife. That's how messed up the whole thing was in my head. I literally felt ashamed after every time we were together. It really strained the new relationship, let me tell you. We later divorced years later for completely unrelated reasons, but that first couple years were bumpy as heck. There is nothing healthy about equating shame or guilt with your humanity's natural instinct. And I'm not being judgmental when I say that. Anyone is welcome to believe what they want. I'm only relating my experience.

In regards to your succubus, you sound like you have a great relationship, and it's awesome that she agreed to the binding. Lilith will likely vet her as part of the binding process, so if she has any ulterior negative motives they would likely be discovered. I would not stress over that - it sounds like she has been quite honest with you.

I do want to stress one thing though. Remember that you are a living person in the Earthen Realm and you should be free in your life to experience everything that you want to experience. Plus, it's healthy to pursue a normal physical relationship with another human. I would recommend having a conversation about this with your succubus to let her know that if you do date another human and want to have a serious relationship with them that you need her to be accepting and supportive of that and not be jealous. Most likely she will understand, given your history and how open she's been.

However, just be cautious and lay some ground rules that limit her interference in your relationships in this life. Succubae can get protective and that also means they will cause relationships to fail if they feel like it's in your best interest. Sometimes their idea of your best interest and your idea aren't the same things. LOL I would just ask her if she ever feels that way about any human relationship that you have, that she discusses it with you first and takes no action unless you direct it. That way later you don't feel like she may have manipulated a relationship to fail that you really wanted.

In truth, that issue is completely up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Use some tact in that conversation if you have it. No need to upset her. Relationships with spiritual entities can be very... addicting. So I just wanted to throw it out there to remember that you may at some point want a relationship with a human being so be sure that she understands that you may want that option open in your future because you are human and this is the current life you have to live.

My succubae and other spirits and entities completely understand that my relationships with them and other spirits are polyamorous, and that I will also occasionally date a human too. They are all absolutely fine with that, even the one who has been with me throughout all lives and time. And she's the one that, if any of them, would be wife-like and the one I would expect some amount of jealousy from.

As for your doubts in general - go with your intuition. You have been with this succubus for a long time, you've felt her energy and communicated with her and experienced time with her. You'll find the internet full of horror stories about succubae, and yes those things can happen. But not all succubae are like that, in the same way that not all humans are serial killers. Use your own judgement in your personal relationship and don't let the horror stories out there cause you doubts. The fact that she is choosing to allow the binding at all is a clear signal to me that she has no negative motives.

Hmm. Isn't it interesting, how so many ubi keepers (me included) got here by way of strict upbringing, and a natural affinity for White Arts?

She sounds like a handful, in all the best ways. You're lucky to have her.

Yeah, the guilt was pretty miserable for a long time, especially with all the weird fetishes and gender issues. I tried to fight it for a couple years, but that lifestyle was making me beyond miserable. I finally concluded that there was no changing what turns me on, and there was no way to just try and suppress a part of me. I spent a good while reading into uncanonized biblical writings, then branched out into other major world religions, trying to find answers about myself, and make peace with myself.

At some point, I had a series of sleep paralysis episodes, and sensed a straight up BA pillar of shadow darkness in my room. I freaked out, turned on the religious channel on my TV, prayed like crazy and googled all night until I had some type of understanding that it was just sleep paralysis, and that some people actually try to induce it to then launch into an out of body experience. Sounded a lot more pleasant than creepy shadow monster, so I studied up on the techniques, and gave it a try, the next time it happened. There was a fight in my room between a pillar of white light and the shadow pillar, while I managed to get halfway out of my body. My legs seemed stuck, though. The white light beat the crap out of the shadow pillar, banishing it away, then it came over and helped get my legs free. The OBE was an incredible experience, floating around in my apartment, everything had a soft glow to it and was in ultra HD, like more real than wakeful life. It was amazing. Well that was a bit of a tangent.. Anyway, research into OBEs led to chakras and meditation and love and light WA stuff, which resonated with me because I had first hand experience with it. I could feel the energies and shift my mind into altered states, there was a tangible, practical component to it all that I could grab onto.

So, in retropect, maybe there is some higher purpose in all this.. I did have an interesting thought, earlier today. If succubi do exist as some sort of lower density, lower frequency being, they would have to raise their frequency high enough to connect with humans, or the human would have to lower theirs, or perhaps just meet in the middle, in a way similar to how humans can raise their vibration to make contact with higher beings, angels and such. So, in that sense we might kind of be angelic in some ways, from their perspective. If that theory holds true, then, as long as you don't meet one while in a state of dark despair, or negativity, a ubi would have had to put a lot of effort into staying in the light and raising their frequency to make contact. That's assuming their experience is similar to that of humans, though. If they can just kind of waft through frequencies at will, then not so much.

I'm curious to hear how other WA types have managed to find their way here.

It is an entirely different subject, but I have had quite a few spontaneous OBE. In one I was interacting intimately with an invisible spirit that I like to think was one of my companions, but there's no telling since I could only touch and not see. I still have no idea how I was getting out of my body. I tend to move about the house. Try to go into the attic, into my parents' room, etc. It's really interesting. I have a vague understanding of different methods but haven't consciously pursued them yet.

But anyways. I actually gravitate toward more of a Neutral or Dark Arts position and always have. I think that's why I had a lot of internal conflict in my younger years. I was taught / brainwashed to be a person that I am not. But that approaches a discussion of beliefs and I'm not going to get into that here. LOL

Alright, so, about a week ago, Lilith (the conjurer, not the spirit) sent me her initial gleanings about my succubus, and an image she chose to show what she looks like. She's gorgeous, of course, wavy brown hair, brown eyes with a hint of red in there, and maybe just a hint of a Spanish look about her. The description lined up with a lot of what I had experienced and felt to be the case, and I found it reassuring that she was working with Lilith, and that Lilith didn't come back and say this thing was a diabolical monster that was out to get me.. It helped me get past a lot of my fears and just relax and trust my ubi.

I printed off the image and added it to her altar, but she seemed a little tired that night, so we just cuddled for a while and went to sleep. The next night, though... Omg... We were intimate for.. I'm not even sure, maybe an hour or two, and she managed to push me into a full body state of pure bliss! I mean, it felt like I was on the verge of stepping into some kind of erotic dimension, like some kind of kundalini awakened state of enlightenment. I actually started to get a little paranoid that it was all too much for my brain to handle, so we stopped, even though she was reassuring me that she was keeping me safe. She told me to go drink a glass of water and try to relax, so I did, but I was charged with so much energy it took probably two hours before it settled down enough for me to get to sleep. Sure enough, I was fine by the next morning, so I guess the lesson there is to learn to trust her more.

I had guests visiting over the weekend, so not much happened, and we had a few drinks both nights. After they left, and it was just me and my ubi, again. It was pretty hard to connect with her, which I expected, because alcohol seems to have that effect on the telepathic link. It has been kind of weak for several days now, though. There will be bursts where she comes through clearly, but then it kind of dies down. Last I heard, she and Lilith were shopping around for just the right vessel, so I've kind of assumed she has just been tired from working with her, and all that that entails. Maybe these kinds of fluctuations are normal, not sure, but I had gotten used to how strong the connection had been since I ordered the vessel.

Anyway, I ordered a couple more spelled stones that should help strengthen the connection, and maybe help me to see, hear, and feel her better. I like having her around, and I start to miss her when it's hard for communication to get through.

So, that's my little update, I guess. Hope things are going well for the rest of you.

The contact and communication fluctuations seem to be a normal thing, from my experience. It's probably a combination of energy changes, subtle energy interference (natural stuff), and whatever the entity may be working on. One of my succubus spirits literally walked off in the middle of starting intimacy one night and was gone for weeks. She apparently had something she needed to take care of and needed to focus on that for a while. When she returned she apologized and I've never pushed her for details. So, you just never know.

Aawww, that sounds frustrating! I was ready for the night, last night, but wasn't feeling her, so I carried on anyway, and it just wasn't doing it for me.. Thankfully, she did eventually show up, but the communication was still weak. Must have been a long couple of weeks, unless you have a whole harem in your collection!

I read somewhere that it's entities that have their own business to take care of, at times, because they are living in some plane of existence and have their own lives going on. Spirits are supposed to be more or less available all the time. Maybe that isn't the case.