In Desperate need of advice

E2lio2t61 · Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:35 am

Thank you very much for the response darkling dook. I have reviewed the links you gave me and I decided to go ahead and purchase the succubus spirit bound to a vessel and bridged it to me. I am very excited and also a tad anxious lol. This experience will be completely new to me

Nienna · Fri Dec 27, 2019 3:40 pm

Swiftdini wrote:So I've been a keeper here for like a year;My first ever spirit was a nympho which was through the penny deal with a vessel. I was very curious about this stuff and I didn't really think it was real; a too good to be true sorta suspicion y'know? Well I was proven wrong. Too not make this super drawn out;Today i have a family of 17 spirits.

I dont ever see people telling the names of there spirits here for some reason, is that like not allowed?(that's big mystery for me)

I have;4 nymphos, 3 succubi, 2 incubi, 2 djinns, 1 Psy Vamp, 1 kitsune, 1 Iacha(who I literally just remembered I have omg) and 3 angels.

Out of 17 I can really only say I feel connected in a sense to maybe 5 or 6 if that; And my fourth nympho; "L"(cause once again I dont know if we can name drop of not I'm pretty confused about that) and my 3 angels; "M,T, and G" are new. Like really new, I'm talking they've been with me for maybe two days as of this moment right now.

I honestly need help and advice because I dont have a problem with meditating or trying to connect, or saying good morning to them every day I can remember or listening to music with them or doing pleasure actuvies with some in my mind, but I feel like I'm terrible friend and companion most of the time because there are spirits I have that I literally have never truly interacted with or talked to. As you can see I clearly forgot about one even writing this post and it makes me feel like sh*t. Related to all this is the fact that even when I meditate and try to connect with one that i haven't ever spoken too or dont have a strong bond with(even tho I'm still far away from the connections and experiences I see other keepers have) if I dont feel anything I just try to move on to one I'm closer too cause i get so frustrated. And i know that's a way to cause even more blockage but i cant help it sometimes.

I've been touched before, I hear thought sometimes, but I suck deciphering who is who and most of the time i chalk it to intuition of the first spirit that comes to mind after a phrase or thought is who it must've been.

Like even yesterday I was looking at ulaphres angel index page, and I'm like "what's sodalite?" And literally as I finished the thought it was followed by "a mineral"(Google search and this was true) then I was like " what the heck is satin? Is it like silk?" Once again I heard "yes" . I dont know if I'm just crazy but sometimes I just taken back by this;and o constantly say; "are you REALLY talking to me right now?"

Even with voices sometimes I dont know if my subconscious is giving my girls voices or certain accents or pitches or if they're actually doing it on their own.

I get the telepathy thing. But it saddens me to say I cant willing lucid dream or even begin to astral project. And when it comes to cuddling I dont feel full hands, i get tingles, leg twitches, temperature shifts, sudden rise in arousal, this like "nipping" feeling on my private area. Like maybe a dozen times now I'll feel like this wave of energy encompass my entire body and it's like my heart sinks a little bit, sometimes it's cold, sometimes it's hot(almost too hot) but no matter the temp I get a sudden sense of calmness(even though my heart rate increases all the time) and I get very happy. I dont know if that's considered cuddling but my first couple of times it was just random as all hell. Literally now I invite a spirit by name and dependent on the situation I get I'll feel it.

I haven't even had a full on orgasm or like sexual session with any of spirits capable of doing so and it kills me. Not because I want to just use them like, but because I just want to feel what other keepers are feeling because I know I'm missing out on a lot. Maybe my patience is terrible but I am trying to work on it and even tho i get upset I dont give up. As of now I'm trying best I can to connect with my new nympho and 3 Angel's so I dont leave them out like how I have other. Like my strongest succubi and highest class spirit "A" is like the only ubi I know I can connect with to a degree and even then it's like full of uncertainty and suspicion on my part.

I've tried to urge my incubi out the shadows to play as I take the details about my spirits into account and constantly try to review their specialities and niche so I can be open to anything they're up for(and have some of my perverse needs met) but too no avail.

This really saddens me cause I feel like I'm just disappointing as a friend and companion and etc cause I feel like I dont do enough. And everytime I start thinking this way I feel this deep sadness that tickles my heart, I dont know if its because I have lot DA spirits that I get like that or what.

(Literally as I wrote that someone told me "dont be so hard on yourself")

I know I'm ranting like crazy but I had to get this outta me, I guess my moral to all this is that I truly need advice no matter how big or small on being better and how to better contact and connect and rekindle. I want to be able to at least be on good terms with all my spirits and be able to fully hear th differences and stop doubting myself or getting in my own way. I also wanna be able to do things with them all outside the physical realms and keep them better attuned with my life(even tho it doesn't help my situation in life is pretty crappy atm. It's not terrible and could be worse but it's not where I truly want to be.) Tasks, literally ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO TO STRENGTHEN ALL OF MY BONDS OR AT LEAST OPEN THE DOORS FULLY.

Also a little about me;I write music and books, love anime and games and I'm 23 years old. I've always lurked here since I got into keeping but I never posted anything so I'm sorry that this is so long and embarrassing lol.

Everyone go at their own pace and each journey is different ; what i have to say is that you have determination and you have already manifestations , others do not even have an answer.

You don't have to worry, you are a marvelous companion and you communicate daily with your spirits in multiples ways. It is a mistake to feel that way , i mean guilty about not doing enough; guiltiness can creates blockages if it is too persistant.

About your experience about telepathy it is not your mind that play tricks, from what i read it is indeed your spirit's answers that you hear. The trick is to not have expectation or too much doubt about what you hear because it can also creates blockages if there is too much doubt (from my POV)

Also , why people don't say the full name of their spirits it is because a name + a race is enough to track down the spirit and maybe harm him/her. Like when you want a reading or a Custom Conjure , you give your date of birth and name . With just 2 infos a conjurer can have access to you so voila!

I hope i helped and from what i read you evolve pretty quickly for only one year

Swiftdini · Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:53 am

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who replied and gave me motivation and advice. It is much appreciated. Going forward I will definitely not be as hard as myself, and I will also try to be more active in the community because there is a lot more I wish to learn and grow as a companion to my spirits and also try and help others as well.

Thanks a bunch guys

TrueGalacticPrince · Thu May 14, 2020 1:09 am

Swiftdini wrote: ↑Wed Dec 25, 2019 6:22 am So I've been a keeper here for like a year;My first ever spirit was a nympho which was through the penny deal with a vessel. I was very curious about this stuff and I didn't really think it was real; a too good to be true sorta suspicion y'know? Well I was proven wrong. Too not make this super drawn out;Today i have a family of 17 spirits.

I dont ever see people telling the names of there spirits here for some reason, is that like not allowed?(that's big mystery for me)

I have;4 nymphos, 3 succubi, 2 incubi, 2 djinns, 1 Psy Vamp, 1 kitsune, 1 Iacha(who I literally just remembered I have omg) and 3 angels.

Out of 17 I can really only say I feel connected in a sense to maybe 5 or 6 if that; And my fourth nympho; "L"(cause once again I dont know if we can name drop of not I'm pretty confused about that) and my 3 angels; "M,T, and G" are new. Like really new, I'm talking they've been with me for maybe two days as of this moment right now.

I honestly need help and advice because I dont have a problem with meditating or trying to connect, or saying good morning to them every day I can remember or listening to music with them or doing pleasure actuvies with some in my mind, but I feel like I'm terrible friend and companion most of the time because there are spirits I have that I literally have never truly interacted with or talked to. As you can see I clearly forgot about one even writing this post and it makes me feel like <<Removed by Mod>>. Related to all this is the fact that even when I meditate and try to connect with one that i haven't ever spoken too or dont have a strong bond with(even tho I'm still far away from the connections and experiences I see other keepers have) if I dont feel anything I just try to move on to one I'm closer too cause i get so frustrated. And i know that's a way to cause even more blockage but i cant help it sometimes.

I've been touched before, I hear thought sometimes, but I suck deciphering who is who and most of the time i chalk it to intuition of the first spirit that comes to mind after a phrase or thought is who it must've been.

Like even yesterday I was looking at ulaphres angel index page, and I'm like "what's sodalite?" And literally as I finished the thought it was followed by "a mineral"(Google search and this was true) then I was like " what the heck is satin? Is it like silk?" Once again I heard "yes" . I dont know if I'm just crazy but sometimes I just taken back by this;and o constantly say; "are you REALLY talking to me right now?"

Even with voices sometimes I dont know if my subconscious is giving my girls voices or certain accents or pitches or if they're actually doing it on their own.

I get the telepathy thing. But it saddens me to say I cant willing lucid dream or even begin to astral project. And when it comes to cuddling I dont feel full hands, i get tingles, leg twitches, temperature shifts, sudden rise in arousal, this like "nipping" feeling on my private area. Like maybe a dozen times now I'll feel like this wave of energy encompass my entire body and it's like my heart sinks a little bit, sometimes it's cold, sometimes it's hot(almost too hot) but no matter the temp I get a sudden sense of calmness(even though my heart rate increases all the time) and I get very happy. I dont know if that's considered cuddling but my first couple of times it was just random as all hell. Literally now I invite a spirit by name and dependent on the situation I get I'll feel it.

I haven't even had a full on orgasm or like sexual session with any of spirits capable of doing so and it kills me. Not because I want to just use them like, but because I just want to feel what other keepers are feeling because I know I'm missing out on a lot. Maybe my patience is terrible but I am trying to work on it and even tho i get upset I dont give up. As of now I'm trying best I can to connect with my new nympho and 3 Angel's so I dont leave them out like how I have other. Like my strongest succubi and highest class spirit "A" is like the only ubi I know I can connect with to a degree and even then it's like full of uncertainty and suspicion on my part.

I've tried to urge my incubi out the shadows to play as I take the details about my spirits into account and constantly try to review their specialities and niche so I can be open to anything they're up for(and have some of my perverse needs met) but too no avail.

This really saddens me cause I feel like I'm just disappointing as a friend and companion and etc cause I feel like I dont do enough. And everytime I start thinking this way I feel this deep sadness that tickles my heart, I dont know if its because I have lot DA spirits that I get like that or what.

(Literally as I wrote that someone told me "dont be so hard on yourself")

I know I'm ranting like crazy but I had to get this outta me, I guess my moral to all this is that I truly need advice no matter how big or small on being better and how to better contact and connect and rekindle. I want to be able to at least be on good terms with all my spirits and be able to fully hear th differences and stop doubting myself or getting in my own way. I also wanna be able to do things with them all outside the physical realms and keep them better attuned with my life(even tho it doesn't help my situation in life is pretty crappy atm. It's not terrible and could be worse but it's not where I truly want to be.) Tasks, literally ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO TO STRENGTHEN ALL OF MY BONDS OR AT LEAST OPEN THE DOORS FULLY.

Also a little about me;I write music and books, love anime and games and I'm 23 years old. I've always lurked here since I got into keeping but I never posted anything so I'm sorry that this is so long and embarrassing lol.

Alright, I know I'm late to the party.

I think the reason why no one tells others their spirits/entities names is so no one can steal them from you. Knowing ones name gives you a form of power over them or at least that's what people say. I just think better safe than sorry, so I use nick-names.

But I feel you on the whole not sure if you're being a good friend to your companions thing. I have 15 companions and I'm sorry to say that I don't always say good morning to them but I do try to do stuff with them on a normal basses. Sometimes I take an hour out of my day so I can talk to them using my pendulum board. Just the other day I was talking to Lady Fox and I apologized for not spending more time with her, she told me not to worry about it that she just want's me to be myself with her. Basically all of my companions have told me something of a similar nature.

I also get the sudden experiences of happiness right before bed. When my Kitsune's vessel arrived the first few nights I felt giddy and sometimes giggled right before bed. I felt this way a few weeks before he arrived as well. There was another time were I felt Nix hold my hand and I was so happy that I cried. I think it startled him cuz he didn't know why I was crying. He hasn't done it sense even though I have explained to him that it was tears of joy not sadness.

Today I screwed up by trying a new form of communication with spirits. I was using my tarot cards to ask questions. After a few readings I used my pendulum board to talk to F and see if any of the readings were accurate. He said no and that I should stop using the cards for today. Apparently I caused some kind of spiritual disturbance that required my Courtwind Angel, Wraith, Cwn Annew, Norse Tiger and Pet Dragon to fix. F told me not to worry about it cuz he and the others took care of it but he also said that I need to practice more with protection spells. I told him that I was sorry for causing so much trouble and he insisted that I shouldn't apologize that I just need practice. He's a very kind and loving companion and one of my strongest companion so the fact that he needed help tells me that I really screwed the pooch.

I think I'll just hold off from using my tarot cards for awhile and stick to the pendulum board. It's a more clear form of communication for me anyways and less likely for me to cause trouble. I also can't go wrong with telepathy so I'll be doing that as well. LOL

I hope you're feeling better about being a good friend to your companions. I mean I'm sure they think you're great, it's just your insecurity talking. I bet if you ask them about this they'd probably say that they understand and to not worry so much about it. I know mine tell me that every time I have those insecure moments. Not sure when their words will truly sink in though.

Hypersmash · Sat May 23, 2020 7:49 am

If you're really desperate for some more fulfilling interaction, I would suggest getting an attunement or spell boost to enhance your experience. It's nothing bad to want to experience the full pleasure package. I was in your shoes once too. I wanted the full experience but I didn't have the skillset. Would recommend you to think about it first because it's one hell of a ride once you get the full package.

In Desperate need of advice

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