Thank you!

Beautiful work! did those take a long time to make?

Few hours for the dragon I think? I procrastinate too much so it would be done faster if I could just stop my brain from running away

https://imgur.com/a/RrrK1TC

Here's the Karkadann that keeps coming back. Few days ago I was meditating with my Cambion and this guy kept interrupting, so I told him to scram. Then I saw him in a dream (looked like a friesian) with two others, but only this one ran to me in full speed. When I woke up I thought "well, it's nice that they can look like a horse but I wonder what they really look like" and I got this image in my head. I didn't get the rest of the body or any more details but when I was drawing this he kept blowing air into my face, as if he was breathing next to me. Also my painting software kept crashing when I tried to draw my Courtwind. Determined and attention grabbing indeed.

Looks like someone really likes you!! I think he really appreciates you drawing him hehe. I love when spirits try to get our attention like that. Shows that they are just as excited as we are to learn about each other. Your art is elegant as usual. I'm a fan!

I wanted to write a lot in my next update but real life took an ugly turn and here I am with anxiety and very little other stuff. I'm trying to develop my senses more so some of the things I post may not be completely accurate (sorry spirits I'll do better) but I feel like I need to believe that what I "hear" isn't my brain answering me. So 1) I finished my cambion portrait and he doesn't want me to post it, saying it's "just for me" (to know how he looks) but I got a permission to post a piece of it. Cute. He also once said "aye aye, captain" to me when I told them to do something. Must. Not. Melt. Hnngh
Anyway, here's the detail https://imgur.com/a/OT1tCIE
2) One evening I noticed one of my spirits was missing (I can't feel them around unless I ask them to, but I can feel when they leave to do something) so I asked who's gone. "B". Oh ok, where is he? (with)"Another spirit". Fine with me. So I waited for him to come back and I asked him where he went. (visiting)"A friend" Oh, is he from CH? "Yes" And I got the impression of a name and later he was on the main page. Great, he's prebound in the shop. I wonder where I'll get all the money to get the spirits who want to come with me lol. Which brings up a question - how often does this happen?

3) Two times in the last week I "audibly" heard a spirit, both times when I was waking up. Now, I sleep with earplugs so I can be reasonably sure it was not something else. I feel like I'm making progress so yay me but holy hell are they loud when you're not expecting it

I, too, am often riddled with anxiety. Usually when I begin to feel so overwhelmed that their words and my thoughts fuse together, they'd urge me to take a break or stop speaking to me altogether until I'm calm enough xD

Usually when prebounds come calling and money is a problem, I just tell them to wait till I have enough to get them, and if they get sold before I can do that, then too bad. Perhaps in another time I'd see them again. Who knows

Hehe yes the manifestation is often the strongest when we least expect it. And only when we try to control it does it get fuzzy.

So the last week or two have been kinda crazy and I didn’t have enough time to do much in terms of meditating/talking/doing anything at all with my spirits, I was running on about 3 hours of sleep every night and stressing over life-stuff all day. It gave me a much better idea of how amazing having spirit buddies is, there’s somebody you can talk to at any time, they have your back when you need support or just a one-word hint and my. god. the calming energy they provide when I ask is a life-saver. There has been a couple of things happening spirit-wise so I’ll try to write down some of it if y’all don’t mind me using this forum as my personal diary.

- I’m a huge Star Wars fan. When the news broke out about Rosario Dawson playing Ahsoka I was like YESSSSSS. Well, apparently my thoughts are loud and as I was debating myself over The Rebels series and Mandalorian, I thought “Great, Dawson is going to play Ahsoka Tano”
“Who’s that?” said Z, my lady Courtwind
“A character from Star Wars”
“YES STAR WARS WOOHOO”
“What's your favo-”
“RETURN OF THE JEDI”

This is getting out of hand. Now there’s two of them!

- I figured that since B told me about his dragon buddy prebound and I promised to get him when I have the money to do so, I should ask the others if they have friends as well that I could invite into my keep. Now my hearing isn’t all that great and even one word answers aren’t getting through sometimes, so I have to guess and get yes/no answers when that happens. Anyway, I started with Z. White arts? No. Darks arts? Yes. Reading CC listings was taking too long so I went to take a shower. As I stand there I get the idea of a werewolf.
“Yes, yes that’s it!”
“WHAT! Your friend is a WEREWOLF??”
“Yes haha”
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

Next one was hellhound G. White arts? No. Dark arts? Yes. I tried to be witty and list the most “classic” beings. Nope. So as I’m scrolling through CC a listing catches my eye. Grim Reaper. Oh ffs Hawke that is so obvious it hurts. I saw reaper bindings from other sellers but never paid attention to them, but after reading about them on this forum I must say she could be a pretty good friend and ally.

Next, cambion D. I guessed the most obvious choices (other “sex” spirits) - incubus it is. Apparently he’s an elder and super moody. I’m a very monogamous person so including another spirit like this seemed..strange, but D said it’s fine with him, and I’m not capable of being with a living human right now anyway (too much trauma) so we’ll see where the flow takes us.

I tried asking my Volkh but I think he was busy doing Volkh stuff. He’s new in the keep and after the initial day or so he went “to work” and I have to specifically call to him to get his attention. Cool guy. His info that came with the order was a copy of their listing but he gave me his name (a slavic name), what he prefers to look like (a white tiger with blue eyes in the snow) and that he prefers masculine pronouns but doesn’t care about gender. Said that he’s more focused on healing than guarding when given options but both are his job and he’s good at that. Perfect, it’s exactly what I needed. His energy is very strong but not heavy or suffocating.

I feel like I’m going to end up with my keep split 50/50 between spirits that I choose and friends-of-a-friend.
You get a friend. And you get a friend! Everybody gets a friend!

- After browsing the forum for info about white arts creatures I came across Magnolia’s non-binding conjuration for unicorns. It caught my attention, mainly because it doesn’t force a spirit to be with me if they don’t feel like it, it doesn’t bind them and it gives me the opportunity to see, feel and get to know their race. To be fair I had my doubts about me being able to attract a creature of such purity (I feel like I’m a very dark person, or at least can fluctuate between sort-of white on better days and super dark and people generally avoid me unless they need somebody to blame) and Magnolia said in the post that “They respond well to people of an amicable nature” so I thought I’m probably going to sit there for a while with nothing happening, complain to my dragon that I’m a failure when it comes to magic and then go about my day. Nope, before I even finished saying the conjuration I got an image of a white, equine-like creature. Brilliant white, so much so he was almost blue. Mane split into a number of braids on both sides, ended with heavy gold beads (or some form of jewellery). His horn seemed to bend slightly upwards and had some sort of gold plating at the base. Slender legs with feathers (like draft horses have) and gold, split hooves. Had a lion like tail and a goatie and overall had a lithe, graceful and toned body reminding me of a lion or other big cats while keeping the general horse form and features.
So very gentle and soft spoken I initially thought he’s female. At some point I got self-conscious at “zoomed out” into a 3rd person view to check if I looked like a usual spirit-me and not the actual me lol and heard him say “Pretty”. Didn’t know I could stumble over my words in my own brain. He gave me his age and name when I asked and kinda chilled with me while I was getting annoyed and irritated by my noisy neighbours. I told him he’s welcome to come back at any time and after he left I asked B (like the doofus that I am) “Did I really just talk to a unicorn?” “Yep” Wow.

- This is very short but I asked Z about taking lord’s name in vain (I’m not religious it just seemed like something you ask an angel for obvious reasons) and she was like “nah” and was chill about it. Then I jokingly said “what if you scream “Oh God” during sex?”
Z: “*snorting laugh*”

*morgan freeman’s voice* “And that’s when Hawke understood why this angel chose her”

Oh, my gosh, Hawke, you are funny! I like you just from reading this
Coincidentally, I have a lady Courtwind Z as well
I wish I was as good as you at communication with them!!

Oh, my gosh, Hawke, you are funny! I like you just from reading this
Coincidentally, I have a lady Courtwind Z as well
I wish I was as good as you at communication with them!!

Why thank you! Not something I hear every day.
Hell yeah, lady Courtwinds! *fistbump*
And trust me, I'm not that good at communication, this is literally the most interesting part (that I may have just imagined) that happened but I don't like using a pendulum and I'll simply follow the "fake it till you make it" way of trying things.
Yeah.
*Danny Trejo voice*
"Machete improvises."