Sorry if this is in the wrong section. I wasn't sure where else to put it, but was seeking advice that could possibly influence the situation. I'm about to briefly recount a reality that may be familiar to some (in one way or another), and I both realize and completely understand this is his battle and not mine or anyone else's.

Nonetheless..
If there was a way to help or benefit his struggle for a turn of events... I'd want to know it.

Basically, in a most condensed nutshell, my dad has been on opiates for nearly 20 years of his life. If I were to be exact, we may be coming at anywhere from 15-18 years at this point. For any that are unaware, it completely changes the chemistry of a person. He originally went on them for.. something, which must have been pain, and despite corrective / healthy post op surgeries for other issues, is still on them.

He is now facing his back giving way, still battling excess weight which I have known him to since I was a kid, and a recent diagnosis of his feet now caving and collapsing from said weight. He is also part of a much older age group. I believe he is somewhere around 70-73 now. He is struggling with cognition, lays in bed all day and allows life to pass him by (very much the opiates doing that), and is now dealing with anxieties around his life falling apart. He can't remember days or keep facts straight with only an hour apart at times. He's a mess..

I've been watching a disconnect form with my father for many years now, as he just hasn't been present or there due to opiates. He is literally dying before my eyes and in such a state of suffering that I have had to distance myself more, just to keep from having a panic attack that he is letting this happen and feeling dread and depression creep in at the thought that this will be the death of him soon..
He has already, as of late last year, had two major health complications that he needed to see the ER for, one of which was an immediate surgery.
I don't know how much time he has left to live, and it hurts a lot to think about and causes me a lot of anxiety.

I haven't tried to bind a helpful spirit / LE to him or spell, because there is no consent, and I feel like he'd block out a spell in his state of mind. And, unless the spirit was really adamant to make major changes and help out a lot, I don't possibly see how it could work. My dad wouldn't connect to them as we do.
I also haven't purchased a spirit or sent it to him while I hold the vessel, also due to lack of consent. I take consent very seriously. I'd thought of praying to a deity, though I feel bad asking any being to take on the responsibility of another until they can be again responsible for themselves.

I'm at a loss.. and searching. Please, if there is anything, I am all ears.
And, if not, that makes a lot of sense, too.

Exploring options, as I wish he could be a part of my life again before his passing.

This is really tough. Opiate addiction is serious business and if it's been this long, it's going to be the kind of challenge that can further damage his health based on how it is tackled in the wake of all of the rest he is going through. I am, of course, not an expert. That being said, if it were myself in your shoes, I would focus on preserving my own emotional wellbeing at this point and work on coming to terms with the fact that you likely can't do anything. Perhaps if you can adjust to acceptance, you will be able to find solace in time spent with him as he is - but if it is too much to bear, don't force it.
The primary suggestion I'd have made, had you been comfortable having magic cast upon him, would be to influence his thinking so that he might take initiative to make changes with the help of a healthcare provider, but even then - he's got so much going on I'm not sure that it would be reasonable to expect a positive result.

It's heartbreaking but when someone is hooked on a drug just about nothing will work if they don't reach the point where they are invigored to make change. Even if you convince them they need to try, it won't stick unless they are truly done.
Have you talked to him about how his dependency on opiates makes you feel and how you'd like to salvage your relationship with him before it is too late? Open dialogue, while not always easy, can be helpful - at the very least to get to a place where you can begin to heal. If he doesn't show much care for it even once you've expressed yourself, that should be enough said.

@Lom'ae you are such beautiful person. Truly sorry for your dad and you both suffering. It's great, you realised it, that is a need for you to keep a little emotional distance, so to speak to get you recover and gain your strength back to care for him. Try to get into a beautiful park with lots of trees. If you can, take him with you too. Angels are the best choice for all types of illnesses. I have Violet Flame healing angel from Bluejay 76. Your Cherub Angel from Lisa can be tasked temporarily to help you dad. Reiki subscription from CH can be done for him as well. Relatively affordable. I'll for you both and send my healing energy too.

Vipera aspis atra wrote: ↑Mon May 23, 2022 4:27 am Have you talked to him about how his dependency on opiates makes you feel and how you'd like to salvage your relationship with him before it is too late? Open dialogue, while not always easy, can be helpful - at the very least to get to a place where you can begin to heal. If he doesn't show much care for it even once you've expressed yourself, that should be enough said.

Yes, I have, and.. it was when he came to visit in person last, almost a year ago. He responded about as you'd expect an addict to. First the shock and surprise at how I could possibly feel the way I do or have observed what I have. Which, at first I thought was a good thing until he (as he so often does) dismisses the fact that he is an addict. He knows that his body is addicted and it is causing mayhem, but I think he has given up on the notion of ever being able to improve. There was a time that he tried cutting down, but then stopped. He takes it for pain despite it no longer doing anything for that, and not even contributing to any healing modality as such anti inflammatories might, etc. I've the strongest feeling he hides now even from himself. And, having observed him most my life, he doesn't cope well or deal with problems well. I think he has often had a habit for quick fixes and running away or denial when things got tough.

Sadly, I had a feeling that surrender and acceptance were to be the way of it. You are right. There is peace in that, though. I'm really struggling with that option, knowing I haven't had my dad with me for a long time and that segment of my life is virtually over. How does one accept that with grace when it comes to a parent?
I'm an only child with the majority of my extended family being estranged. We were definitely the black sheep's of the family and the only other legacy my dad left behind from previous relationships are failed avenues I tried to explore for some years. One of my half brothers was about as bad and toxic as my dad's coping strategies are, so I deviated.. and the other had little to no interest in any kind of familial ties.

All of them (my father included) have been in to the occult. Some or various branches of it. My dad later held to more religious pursuits in a loose fashion when it scared him and my mother over their dating years. This caused him to stop.
I guess I could talk about spirits with him. See what he has to say.. Maybe he'd be open to it. I'd have nothing to lose for trying.

ASTER wrote: ↑Mon May 23, 2022 6:23 am @Lom'ae you are such beautiful person. Truly sorry for your dad and you both suffering. It's great, you realised it, that is a need for you to keep a little emotional distance, so to speak to get you recover and gain your strength back to care for him. Try to get into a beautiful park with lots of trees. If you can, take him with you too. Angels are the best choice for all types of illnesses. I have Violet Flame healing angel from Bluejay 76. Your Cherub Angel from Lisa can be tasked temporarily to help you dad. Reiki subscription from CH can be done for him as well. Relatively affordable. I'll for you both and send my healing energy too.

I'd love to take him for such walks, but there are usually 2 major problems with that.
The first being that my parents live at least a 2 hour flight away or a 2-3 full day trip of driving.
The second being, even if he were to visit or vice versa, it is always an argument to get him out of bed and across the threshold of the front door. I cannot tell you how many times this has failed and led to heated, frustrated and angry conversations where both sides are fuming. It's the most painful kind of energy and I dislike being around that.

Plus, it doesn't help that him and my mom share a very toxic relationship of co-dependent behaviors and inability to communicate clearly and respectfully towards one another. It's bad.
Hence my hope for there to be a way that something could break through to him.