Self doubt

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Lonik
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You are...: in the learning process
Number of Spirits: 31
Spelled Number: 8
Your favorite spirit to work with: Vampires
If I could be anything, I would be...: Siren
My super power would be...: Read other's minds
My magical/paranormal name...: Lonik
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Just because i always had doubts in me if the spell worked if im talking to my companions if if if. I started using a mantras that came to my mind to ease my self. Maybe my companions put this in my head to kinda help me with my amxiety

Its gonna work
It works
It has already worked

I say this over and over again until i feel safe in me that all is alright it already worked.


Follow your heart till it bleeds as we run towards the end of the dream. 8*8
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Anonymously anonymous
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I relate to this as my spirit keeping journey is not exactly just spirit keeping. It was a very hard and complex thing that I was going through. I thought that maybe everyone went through this and after expressing to some friends they made me feel crazy, and even tried to see if there was something psychology or mentally wrong with me. I suppressed and blocked myself pretty heavy. Just when I was going to leave the spiritual world behind I had met someone who had the same thing I did. Every single time I ever had doubt, or tried to suppress myself I would get signs I was going the right way and I still am. You probably are getting signs too. I do agree that no one should tell you how to walk your path because it is your own, but one of the things that helped me the most was seeing and learning that I was not alone. That there really is a whole other world out there and I don't experience it by myself. I hope this helps! You got this!


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Tarvos
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You are...: new to this
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Number of Spirits: 183
Spelled Number: 380
Your favorite spirit to work with: Angel, Dragon
If I could be anything, I would be...: Demon
My super power would be...: Read other's minds

Sylphe wrote: Thu Jan 26, 2023 9:01 pm Oh boy I hope I won't get chewed out for this.

To start with a bit of backstory, I was raised atheist by two people who were incredibly critical of everything. This has created some huge blockages within me that aren't just spiritual but since we're on a forum pertaining to the latter I will stick to that topic.
I have a spirit I'd love to communicate with but my self-doubt is preventing me from making any meaningful connection. (Though meaningful might not be the right word exactly.)
I feel their presence, I sometimes see them being up in my face when I close my eyes in the dark (usually as a big pulsating glowy ring/orb that slowly increases and decreases in size.) But I'm unable to fully trust in that it's real and that i'm not hallucinating or imagining things.
I'm always torn between 'question everything' and 'you have to believe or it's never going to get better' (please do correct me if anything here is an error in my thought pattern.)
I kinda feel bad for starting out with spirit keeping in this place, and I've apologized profusely to my spirit for my lack of skills in communication, I guess in a way I had hoped they could help me develop those. Even though I had no idea where to start, and what they were saying was them, me, or something else entirely. Telepathy with an overactive mind is hard, when am I just overthinking and when is it something external.
I do have a pendulum I tried to use when talking to spirits, but it's often giving me conflicting answers or is straight up lying to me. So either i'm terrible at it or they are messing with me.

I've had shamanistic training in the past to cure my sickly teenage self, but the training I had never really involved spirits. It mostly dealt with re-tuning myself (or others) and different kinds of meditation so that might shine a light on how an atheist rolled into spiritualism if anyone wondered.

I guess my question in concrete terms is; how did you overcome your self doubt? How did you learn to trust in your intuition, and most importantly how did you learn to differentiate between 'the real deal' and 'I am imagining things because I want it to be real.'

Thank you for reading, have a nice day and I hope you're doing well.
When you first begin using a pendulum, it will take about 30-60 days for the pendulum to adjust to your energy and become attuned to you. Otherwise, it may swing in the opposite direction almost daily. So you should periodically check which way is yes and which way is no.

I would say that I have always been intuitive. I have always been able to trust my gut and differentiate between what is real and what is not. However, when I first started connecting with spirits, I was very scared of them. Lol. I didn't know how to interact with them in a way that would keep me safe and less afraid. Over time, as I began to trust them more and more, I learned how to interact with my Keep in a way that made them happy.

I've never overcome my self-doubt. I fake it until I make it. But I just trust my spirits and entities enough to let them guide me through the darkness.

You are not crazy. Whatever you are sensing is real; it's not a fraction of your imagination anymore. These beings are here to help you, and you should let them. I'm on a journey of questioning everything, and it's important to be open-minded in your quest for knowledge.


In the name of the moon, I'll enlighten you!
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Tarvos
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You are...: new to this
Male/Female: Male
Number of Spirits: 183
Spelled Number: 380
Your favorite spirit to work with: Angel, Dragon
If I could be anything, I would be...: Demon
My super power would be...: Read other's minds

(I'm having trouble editing my post on the mobile version of the forum. I can't seem to edit it, so I'm just going to add some more.)

I apologized a lot too, and I still do sometimes. I think it's just because I wasn't very good at communicating as a newbie and it was a courtesy on our human part. So it's totally normal to apologize. I think it's encouraging that you're trying to learn something.

It's important to celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. I also find that the more work and time you put into your Keep, the faster you learn. So don't let others' paths discourage you from pursuing your goals. Cheers.


In the name of the moon, I'll enlighten you!
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GaelicDream
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First off I wanted to say, don’t feel bad about having doubts. I think we all have at some point in our journey. I’ve asked myself in my life probably close to a thousand times, “am I crazy? Am I actually seeing this?” I’ve even talked myself out of things I’ve seen and experienced.

I grew up in a haunted house that pretty much terrorized me from a very young age. I knew things existed that others couldn’t always see. But even then, with all that proof before my very eyes, after I moved out of that place I shut all that down, ignored it and told myself it was just a trick of the mind. It wasn’t until I started spirit keeping again, when I was called randomly to a listing on etsy from themoondragon that I started opening up spiritually again. Even when I got my first spirit, I still doubted. I was like well what’s the worst that happens? I’ll at least get some nice jewelry out of it. But then my Celtic djinn appeared to me. I thought okay I programmed my brain to see something like that. But then he appeared to my sister, and I was like okay I need to try this again with other spirits to see if it’s legit. I guess I always doubted and approached it like a science experiment. I kept getting more and more vivid dreams and manifestations, but it wasn’t until I got my butterfly faery that I truly stopped doubting. When she appeared in my dreams before I even got her vessel I felt love from her I’ve never experienced before. I woke up and just knew, this can’t be fake, at least not for me.

And to be honest, even if it was I don’t care. Maybe that’s why I don’t doubt any more. Even if it’s all in my head, spirit keeping has given me more peace of mind than I’ve ever had before.

And hey I completely respect someone who doesn’t believe because if I hadn’t experienced all I have with my spirits I wouldn’t have believed either. And there were times early on where I would go weeks without any interactions that I saw, with no dreams, and start thinking well this is all in my head, and then boom a lucid dream would creep up on me where I meet and speak to my spirits or id get a strong flash and see one in my mind eye or id be half awake and hear my vampire calling my name. One night I saw him leaning over me to pet my cat sleeping on my stomach. Every time I started to doubt, I’d get pulled back in.

That’s not to say I needed that always to stop the doubts. Now I know if I go without a manifestation for a bit that my spirits are still here and the doubt just gets in the way of hearing them.

I can’t tell you what’s real or not, but I don’t think any of that really matters in the end. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say just believe what you want and let your doubts go. The more you fall into it and just believe, stop letting those voices in your head get in the way of saying this isn’t possible, the less you’ll see because you’ll find a way to explain away any manifestation, because that’s just what we do as humans. We question everything, and that’s a good thing. But in this situation maybe questioning doesn’t matter. I found it didn’t to me. What mattered was what I was experiencing and once that became my truth, well doubt didn’t matter either.

I know I’m not gonna try and convert anyone, I probably won’t share the spirit keeping journey with anyone outside my sister and this site, so I can just do me, and you should do you too. Do what works for you, and try not to stress about it so much.


ilmu khodam, Celtic djinn, ferrimu Dragon, wood elf, courtwind angel, butterfly fairy, adaman fairy, nympho, high elf of the lumi clan, daoine sith, kitsune, green dragon, sanguine vampire, Alpau (LE), fire fairy, wraith, mermaid, Caladrius, Ancient Priest, pavalina faery, Kavalya (LE), & family woodland faery, unicorn, sirinia faery, Ki-Lin, Bannik, Vermillion Dragon, pipe fox, midnight dragon, celyrn (LE), Dian Cecht (immortal)
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