First time I saw N (at first I didn't know his name for long time) Was when I was saw him when I was just around maybe between 11-13 years old in my bio family home. N was in my bedroom. I was going into the bedroom and door was already open.

I literally saw him sitting down in rocking chair smoking a pipe while rocking in the rocking chair. He seemed to be waiting for me and made sure I was looking at him. Than N just faded away.

I thought was last time of seen N. The first Human Spirit I've seen. Was during that incident of him in rocking chair. Moving forward to around 2018(?)

I'm currently 32 and I say this is because of me living in my former foster home in which I got adopted when I was in Highschool.

Anyways I decided to get a bidding for N. from here at CH store. Of course didn't know about his name was. I thought was I was weird. Until my CH order was completed. That's how I know his name is N.

On the day of my CH completed order, he was N an unbound but not any longer. I remembered I was watching Hulu and then he suddenly appeared a second time in the kitchen. (TV was in living room and kitchen was open and by the TV. I live in Mobile house)

Anyways, watching Hulu then again showed himself to me for 2nd time just walking to the sink and disappeared. Nice my dog saw too it was last time I saw him but I'm still have him

.Any how long story short, I went to info about N (March 2nd 2024) and was wondering if it's possible to share here on forum. There some things that would benefit me and a similar in him and me. But want to share.

Hi, I'll share description of N. Least, the info that was given to me years back from CH Store.

"Human, N, Male. He appears as a man in his early sixties with white hair, brown eyes and fair skin and is usually smoking a long pipe. He was a father of 8 and a farmer and is a paternal ancestor of yours.He wants to provide with love and support and is eager to assist you on your spiritual journey and empower your capabilities in spirit communication. He is very patronly and incredibly loyal and sincere."

I do have some questions

Love.
I don't know nor what it feels In my eyes love is I guess maybe like to me. Than again probably due to my last at my bio home before Foster Care 2014. I just don't get how love works especially true love. It's probably why I'm not a romantically type person.


Paternal Ancestor
I didn't know I had an ancestor before I got N. I tried look it up in simple terms but what's a Paternal Ancestor?

Spirit Communication
"and empower your capabilities in spirit communication" does that mean before I had N, I could've done communication with spirits beforehand? I mean sure I talk to em regularly more or less now. Least in my thoughts. But with having N. He bolsters my communication more somehow. In which way?

Also not a question, but it does relate me to him. For example back when was 14 when 2 detectives came to house I was staying. When after school. It's when I learned my bio mom gave up her paternal rights on me and other 5 of my siblings. (year after my dad went to prison) Anyways I went to this counselor and she asked where would I like to go? I said I wanted to go to a farm. She asked me why? I told her not sure.

Maybe was a strong feeling honestly didn't know at the time. Besides I could've said a wooded area like my old bio home. So moving forward and moving place to place. Finally in 2005 I was sent to this tiny farm. It's where I was adopted and am currently.

So I guess it's makes me kind of related to N as a farmer should be. Not to mention N's first name as all over the metal irrigation sprinkler heads. Sure it's a company that makes these sprinkler heads. But his presence is still reminds me of N. In way I guess that is nice too. Anyways thanks everyone for reading and helping me out to. Much as and it's why wanted to share

I would say love in this context rather refers to affection. He wants to be there for you.

An ancestor is someone from your family line related by blood but that lived a long time before you. Paternal refers to someone from your father's side so someone that was part of your father's side of the family some time ago, before you were born.

I think he can help you become better at communicating with himself and other spirits. For example maybe he can help with telepathic communication. There's many ways to communicate with spirits, such as divination tools (pendulum, spirit boards, tarot cards etc.), telepathy, seeing/hearing/feeling manifestations of the spirit and many more. So he can probably aid you with training those skills and being able to have more of a conversation with them not just you talking to them.

Fiery_Darkness wrote: ↑Sun Mar 03, 2024 4:37 pm Hi, I'll share description of N. Least, the info that was given to me years back from CH Store.

"Human, N, Male. He appears as a man in his early sixties with white hair, brown eyes and fair skin and is usually smoking a long pipe. He was a father of 8 and a farmer and is a paternal ancestor of yours.He wants to provide with love and support and is eager to assist you on your spiritual journey and empower your capabilities in spirit communication. He is very patronly and incredibly loyal and sincere."

I do have some questions

Love.
I don't know nor what it feels In my eyes love is I guess maybe like to me. Than again probably due to my last at my bio home before Foster Care 2014. I just don't get how love works especially true love. It's probably why I'm not a romantically type person.


Paternal Ancestor
I didn't know I had an ancestor before I got N. I tried look it up in simple terms but what's a Paternal Ancestor?

Spirit Communication
"and empower your capabilities in spirit communication" does that mean before I had N, I could've done communication with spirits beforehand? I mean sure I talk to em regularly more or less now. Least in my thoughts. But with having N. He bolsters my communication more somehow. In which way?

Also not a question, but it does relate me to him. For example back when was 14 when 2 detectives came to house I was staying. When after school. It's when I learned my bio mom gave up her paternal rights on me and other 5 of my siblings. (year after my dad went to prison) Anyways I went to this counselor and she asked where would I like to go? I said I wanted to go to a farm. She asked me why? I told her not sure.

Maybe was a strong feeling honestly didn't know at the time. Besides I could've said a wooded area like my old bio home. So moving forward and moving place to place. Finally in 2005 I was sent to this tiny farm. It's where I was adopted and am currently.

So I guess it's makes me kind of related to N as a farmer should be. Not to mention N's first name as all over the metal irrigation sprinkler heads. Sure it's a company that makes these sprinkler heads. But his presence is still reminds me of N. In way I guess that is nice too. Anyways thanks everyone for reading and helping me out to. Much as and it's why wanted to share

Love is a special feeling that makes you really care about someone else. It's when you feel happy just by being with them, or even thinking about them. Love means you want to help them, protect them, and make them happy, too. It's like having a best friend who you trust completely and who trusts you the same way. Love isn't only about where you come from or your family situation. It's about the connections you make with people who matter to you. Whether it's with friends, family members you choose, or even pets, love is about feeling close and connected to someone in a way that makes both of you feel good and important to each other.

What Gray Mongrel has already explained about a paternal ancestor. This could be your father's father (your grandfather), your father's father's father (your great-grandfather), your father's brother (your uncle), and so on. So, when you say someone is your "paternal ancestor," it means they are one of the people in your family who came before you, and you are connected to them through your dad.

I believe N might have had a significant impact on your choice to visit the farm after your mom relinquished you for adoption. The phrase "empower your capabilities in spirit communication" doesn't imply that you had the ability to communicate with spirits prior to N's binding. It implies that he assists in amplifying and strengthening any existing abilities you may possess, making it easier for you to interact with spirits with his guidance. We are not N, so I cannot say with certainty how he will aid you. This is a matter you will have to discover for yourself through your own interactions with him.

It is crucial to collaborate with spirits that strongly call out to you, as they will provide the most assistance on your journey. N appeared to you in your younger years, demonstrating his awareness of your innate abilities from an early age. It appears as though he has been patiently waiting for your connection. Therefore, it is highly likely that he will be there for you, awaiting your call. Additionally, any other companions that you feel drawn to or have sporadic thoughts about would serve as an excellent starting point to reacquaint yourself with the path.

Hi @Gray Mongrel and @Tarvos

Many thanks for helping me out. I believe I get what both you are saying about the replies to my questions. Seems I got a lot work to do, in many years to come. In short amounts of time.

Also I feel love is going to be struggle for me. It's just hate is very strong in me. It's also cloud in darkness my judgement is. But I also know that I need to see the light even in the darkest times. Tis why my username is Fiery_Darkness. Fire is light, is it not? Yet despite being both I feel both Fire and Darkness also calls to me. Not sure why.

What I'm trying to say I also need to believe in myself and others. I feel one of my lessons of many here on Earth is Love. Not just darkness. Maybe it's why Love is hard for me at this point. Maybe it's what N saw in me to learn?

Also, another question, is it possible to learn love in the afterlife too? I don't think it's possible to learn just in this life time even though I do see both your points of view.

With that a thought came to me mind, I guess I need to learn forgiveness, in order for me to learn Love and possiblity move forward instead of 3 steps back? Anyways thanks again for replying back to me and am very thankful of both your thoughts and inputs on these questions in mind. Very great full.

I'm not that well researched on the afterlife but my initial guess would be yes. However I suggest waiting for other people's answers on this.

Personally, I don't think learning forgiveness is a necessity in learning love, that's just my opinion and experience tho. You can even have hate in your heart but still be able to love, we humans are capable of very complex co-existing emotions. There are many people I wasn't able to forgive in this lifetime but I'm still capable of loving the people that I have around me. The ones I didn't forgive are the ones that heavily wronged me and hurt me and we eventually ended up cutting ties. You can't be all too forgiving either because you might end up forgiving people too many times that you shouldn't be around anymore at that point of how many wrongs they caused you. And that can lead to a lot of harm. I think the key is balance, sure forgive smaller things, things that don't hurt as much or that do make sense to be forgiven (without being manipulated by the other person), especially if they apologized and then corrected their behaviour but forgiving everyone for everything, even the very harmful things is a near impossible task. Unless you are Jesus I suppose.

You can even not forgive someone and still love them, the human experience is a very complex one. So I think you should try learning love notheless, even if you hate, even if you don't forgive. It's not easy nor hard to love and you can love many things. Start small, what do you enjoy, what's your favorite color, do you like a particular type of flower or crystal? Maybe you like mugs or other particular objects, how does nature make you feel, looking at the sky, seeing cute animals etc. These are all things that we can say we love, sure it's a different type of love than loving a person but it is love notheless and they are things that make us ourselves and unique from any other individual. So you most likely already know love, but you weren't yet aware of it. There are many things that get me excited and happy, small things, they are part of my love for the world as flawed as it may be. Coffee, tea, mugs, sunsets, clouds, plants, flowers (in particular dadelions), birds (in particular starlings), other animals, trees, the color teal, marigold and grey, funky colored socks, colorful makeup, certain cartoons, games and characters from them, plushies, silver, spirituality, witchcraft etc. etc. etc. These are all things I love a lot in no particular order, and at the top of them all sit my friends, dog and my spirits. These are all forms of love and part of me.

So yeah try to take it easy and not be hard on yourself, take it one step at a time and you'll find your way eventually, you have all the time in the world.

Fiery_Darkness wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 6:25 pm Hi @Gray Mongrel and @Tarvos

Many thanks for helping me out. I believe I get what both you are saying about the replies to my questions. Seems I got a lot work to do, in many years to come. In short amounts of time.

Also I feel love is going to be struggle for me. It's just hate is very strong in me. It's also cloud in darkness my judgement is. But I also know that I need to see the light even in the darkest times. Tis why my username is Fiery_Darkness. Fire is light, is it not? Yet despite being both I feel both Fire and Darkness also calls to me. Not sure why.

What I'm trying to say I also need to believe in myself and others. I feel one of my lessons of many here on Earth is Love. Not just darkness. Maybe it's why Love is hard for me at this point. Maybe it's what N saw in me to learn?

Also, another question, is it possible to learn love in the afterlife too? I don't think it's possible to learn just in this life time even though I do see both your points of view.

With that a thought came to me mind, I guess I need to learn forgiveness, in order for me to learn Love and possiblity move forward instead of 3 steps back? Anyways thanks again for replying back to me and am very thankful of both your thoughts and inputs on these questions in mind. Very great full.

It would be beneficial for you to seek the guidance of professionals in order to uncover the source of this deep-seated hatred, as it is a destructive emotion. Proceed with caution when dealing with the fire element if there is an abundance of negative emotions. If you feel a resonance with fire, it may signify various things, not necessarily the fire element itself, but the fire of the infernal realms. Additionally, I understand why the "darkness" has also beckoned to you, as your energy signature carries a strong association with Dark Arts.

Love isn't difficult, but it requires effort - effort that you must invest in yourself. Loving in the afterlife is indeed possible, but it may be challenging, depending on how you currently live your life as a mortal. If you don't take the time to learn how to love, even if it's just loving yourself, you'll find yourself in the afterlife, wondering about all the "what ifs" and "what could have beens." Moreover, you'll have to face many challenges as you adjust to the new life as a spirit.

The deep connection between forgiveness and love is intricately woven into the fabric of our relationships with others. Forgiveness plays a crucial role in fostering loving relationships, as it creates space for growth and healing. It often entails releasing feelings of resentment and negativity towards those who have caused us pain. This act can be viewed as an expression of love, showcasing a willingness to see past imperfections and mistakes for the sake of a stronger bond. Though the precise nature of the connection between love and forgiveness may seem puzzling, it is widely recognized that forgiveness is a deeply personal and profound expression of love. Even if one cannot forgive, it still shapes the foundation upon which other elements of a relationship are built.