to remember and call attention to certain people who have passed, whether in our ancestry, of historical significance, or of importance to us. I think it would be a positive way to honor the spirit world, and recognize how it touches us beyond spirit-keeping. Death anniversaries, recent deaths that are meaningful, etc. and related discussions to those or in general. How the deceased continue to influence the living. This sort of thing.

Working in a 120 years old regional hospital with a highly functional palliative care service has taught me much wisdom about dying people and end of life preparations and care. Yes, I have witnessed the last breath taken and I have seen dead people propably more often then normally anyone would seen one in their lifetimes.

I know this is not exactly what @Vipera aspis atra has intended with in this thread. Yet I have this small talk about the last fase of the living to share and embrace.

Planning out and leaving a will & instructions for our loved family about how we wish to proceed with our funeral in case of our death, what we like to take place on our funeral ect might sounds like a premature thinking about this topic ... especially before the age of 40. And that is fine, as we are all ignorant to a certain degree thinking of it as irrelevant.

But as we age, also our parents and friends dose and by the time we hit 50, chances are that we had been gone to a funeral once. Whether it was a sudden shock or terminal, long expected end, it's brings a kind of awakening ... to the reality, that is unavoidable, it's our future that await us all.

Over the years, as a result of having an everyday exposure to the cold fact of life and death, I decided long time ago to stay positive, and celebrate the natural circle of life. In fact, it's so part of our life, that we really do not even think much of it. The seasons, ageing, human biology, vegetation everything is born and dies every single day. Everything ages then renew itself. Even our energy gets depleted then with rest we get recharged and feel freshen up in the morning.

Celebrating with a positive perspective is powerful and important preparation for taking our final breath one day. With understanding more about life and death, nature and the circle of life will makes us wiser to strive for a meaningful life and well worth happy end. Even if we can't exactly pin it how our fateful day will find us one day, we can always anticipate to live our days the very best way we can, without regrets, even leave something tangible for the future generations.

I had my first grief experience at the age of 12, when my only grandfather died in a stroke. Unfortunately, all the grown ups hushed about it and I was not told anything just because I was young. I felt hurt and betrayed by my family, because I wasn't even taken to the funeral. There was no emotional disclosure from anyone or tears from grown ups that would teach and feel compassionate with me a young girl in that sad and grieving time.

I feel that it's important to educate everyone about grief and the reality of end of life. We not only care for the dying patient but we care and prepare the loved once as well as their children. Even pets are encouraged to visit ... because they too grieve.

I have had several encounters with the ghost of the human being and even children that was born and died in our birth unit that is no longer there. My family members who so far had passed away, all did came to say goodbye in their own very special ways. Some of them visiting me regularly ... . And it's truly reassuring to me, that death is not the ultimate end, but only a transition ... I learnt to appreciate my life, and recive its beauty and its pain as it's all mine like a wrapped present a gift of life.

I have a complex relationship with death as I had many relatives who passed from the time I was very young.

Once an uncle passed and the phone rang in the house, I was under 10 years old at that time. My family wasn't that close with that part of the family but we knew each other and visited their place a few times so I knew his face. My parents were both busy in the house so I was the one to answer the phone. On the other end I hear the voice of my aunt wavering as she tells me "Hello (my name), tell your parents uncle (name) has died." I didn't know what to think of it at that time but when I look back on it's so ingrained in my memory, that exact sentence and her voice, that the conclusion remains: it was definitely something that left its mark on young me.

Another time one of my grandma's sisters passed and we were at my grandma's house. I didn't know that aunt, I didn't even see her face before. And my grandma wasn't able to attend her funeral due to her health problems. So my dad took a picture on his phone of her dead sister in the coffin to show her as a strange way to help her gain closure. When he showed her the picture, I saw it too. It was the first time I saw a dead person.

Another uncle and my great grandma also get taken away from us due to illness and old age, my parents don't take me to their funerals, because they never did really. They probably thought I was too young for it. But maybe it was better if they did, that would've probably prepared me for what was yet to come. I knew those 2 people really well, especially my great-grandma, we always visited her and she was always so sweet.

At this point I started to understand what death was and how it forever took people away from us, making us unable to see them ever again in this lifetimes. And I became terribly scared of it. I remember going to my mom every night crying and sobbing about how I'm scared of death and that I'm scared of when more people will start dying around me as I get older. That went on for years and years until...

My dad died, when I was only 12. It was a sudden death one moment he was with us joking and laughing, the other he suddenly took too long to the bathroom, the next the doctors were proclaming him dead. Heart attack. He was only 40, all tests healthy over the years, not a smoker, not a drinker, just drinking too many energy drinks and coffee in a day for years and years and years. That should've been a sign but we were all blind to it. Also genetics his dad died the same way around the same age, same for his grandpa and same for his great grandpa and who knows how many others. I couldn't go to his funeral, but I did see him at the religious ceremony. What kept me sane during that day was this one single star shinning above everyone in the sky, I liked to imagine that was him watching over us telling our goodbyes. Also maybe it was my grieving brain making me imagine things but around one month from the time he passed I could feel his energy and spirit still in the house. I even said my goodbyes one of the times I felt like he was with me.

That being said this experience obviously deeply traumatized me, and set my life on a completely different trajectory. One filled with more fear of death, hatred, pain, mental health problems, isolation and abuse than ever before. But I won't get into it right now.

Time passed and things got just a lil bit better and eventually my grandpa died when I was 19. His was the first funeral I ever attended. He died a different death than my father, he suffered a stroke and died in the hospital after a week, so I had time to prepare for it. However I'm thinking I was emotionally checked out because I couldn't process his death and grieve really. He meant so much for me, I had the few happy memories of my childhood because of him. I was once again never able to properly tell him goodbye and thank him. I was so emotionally affected by his death that I ended up numb unable to process.

Until my budgie died. Some people may think the death of a pet isn't as important as the death of a person but for me it was. She was with me for more than half of my life at that time, she lived 13 years and I had her since when I was 8 years old. I was the one to witness her death, first time I got to see someone die. She helped me so much during the years she was alive and she ended up helping me after her death too. I'm so thankful to her. I grieved her for years and while grieving her I was finally able to grieve my grandpa as well. She was able to heal me even in her death, everytime I cried for her I remembered my grandpa and cried for him too. It was a hard time but in the end it's good I was able to go through it. We buried her in the dirt of the cemetery next to my dad and grandpa. She was a huge part of our family. And with doing so I was able to finally start visiting the cemetery for the first time out of my own initiative. With the reasoning I was doing it for her but eventually I accepted it was for all of them. I got a tattoo of her feather on my left wrist, with the side of my heart. A promise to not harm myself anymore or at least not enough to put myself in danger and ruin the tattoo, and to have her with me forever from now on.

I still have a weird relationship with death. I'm still afraid of it, I don't want anyone to die around me. I'm not good at adapting myself to the lack of a person, especially if they died. I'm scared of my own death too, yet sometimes I become suicidal (I have professionals that help me with that). I honestly don't know but at least I became better at some aspects of it. Thank you if you read so far.

Vipera aspis atra wrote: ↑Sat Mar 09, 2024 6:35 am to remember and call attention to certain people who have passed, whether in our ancestry, of historical significance, or of importance to us. I think it would be a positive way to honor the spirit world, and recognize how it touches us beyond spirit-keeping. Death anniversaries, recent deaths that are meaningful, etc. and related discussions to those or in general. How the deceased continue to influence the living. This sort of thing.

In Memoriam Stephen Russell

I've recently been thinking of a spiritual mentor of mine, Stephen Russell aka the Barefoot Doctor, who passed just before Covid really came into focus. I learned a lot from him...partly just how good his techniques & level of mastery of his subject were. Given his great focus on a modern approach to Taoism, I found it elegant (if that makes sense) that he died on Chinese New Year's Day.

He's come through tangibly a few times. He had a hippy era irreverence, both lighthearted and serious at the same time. I've missed his spiritual presence as a practitioner and teacher. Then just recently I found his YouTube channel. I think his sons may have uploaded all the teaching videos he'd made, since the last time I'd looked. When I watch them, it's like he's still here - as much as he ever was 'here'. He was probably in many realms or states even while alive.

In Memoriam George Harrison

In recent weeks I've been rediscovering what a massive influence he was - on me and also the New Age in general. When I look back, at those spiritual songs, mid1960s... He was a/the pioneer. Like him, I also learned TM - at University in 1971, not in India; I followed an Indian guru; stayed on the spiritual track the rest of my life, to date. I now understand all the spiritual truths he was talking about, which went over the head of most people when he was interviewed on talk shows.

I've been watching/ listening to his music on YouTube a lot recently. I pay him tribute/acknowledgement for his influence and general good vibes. It's just recently started to click how much his 'harmonic' blends with mine. Another person whose spiritual presence I miss but which seems to be there still...when I listen...on YouTube...