There are so much that I want to say and discuss. I love deep thinking, I am a thinker and always have been. My original spirit probably made me one, he is quite philosophical. I've been keeping myself from creating a 100 different topics about things that really wouldnt lead to discussions anyway. Or am I just being too hard on myself... Anyway, if I just create one thread to store all my thoughts in then anyone can read it if they want to and they are not scattered across the plattform annoying other members. I know that I may come off as annoying to people.

Even if I have kept two spirits for the longest time. My keeping journey didn't start until my dragon joined. I found him on etsy. I searched for something totally unrelated and an add popped up about a dragon doll, I didn't know a dragon was bound to it. I didn't think much of it until I couldn't do anything, I couldn't concentrate at all, working and sleeping became hard even. After fighting it for a week I gave up and purchased the dragon and instantly my mind became calm. That's when I thought it was just my autism that had pleagued me yet again. After a couple of days I had activity in my home, like the sound of running on the floor with claws and sounds of my stuff being moved, also white orbs here and there. My original spirit told me to wait, it will appear at some point. He revealed himself to me when his doll arrived and declared to have moved in and started claiming objects as his and spaces within my home. And I was like why do I have a dragon in my apartment? I begun searching for other people having spirits and it lead me to this forum. And it crossed my mind that I didn't look it up or find it weird to have a dark arts shapeshifter or a pegasus before my dragon arrived....

I had a dream a while ago and a childhood friend from when I was like 7 accompanying me through the dream. I felt a faint precense of a spirit I didn't know in the background. I continued the dream and I tried to complete tasks but something went wrong at every place. People got mad and told me to just move on to something else. As I moved on I failed at every task. That pretty much sums up my entire past. But, as I moved on in the dream I could feel the spirit presence growing stronger. Towards the end of the dream, my friend and I reached a shoreline with very dark water and in it were poisonous sea creatures. My friend sighed and said we can't move on any further. Then a path emerged with clear water straight across it and I started walking and I could feel the precense growing stronger. My friend yelled behind from the shoreline that it is impossible for him to cross it, he will get poisoned if he does. I said I could help him cross it, as I turned around and took a step back I got an overwhelming feeling from the spirit precense that I have to choose between moving on across the water or staying on the shoreline. I stopped for a moment to think about my choice and that my friend most likely was a symbol for my past. I continued to cross the water.

Personal development has always been very important to me and is something I will always strive towards. This isn't the only dream with communication in it from this precense but it was the strongest communication. I believe it is my number 8 trying to tell me something and make itself known. I have been feeling watched sort of or connected somehow. I hope for CH to conjure it for me as I believe my number 7 helped me find it. There are other spirits I want to join my keep to strengthen my protection team, since I only have two dedicated for protection. But my 7 very strongly advice me a big NO . The others have opinions depending on what species it is. I trust their judgement when it comes to new members, especially 7 since he thinks about my limitations. I am aware of my limits but I rarely listen to it, that's probably why I am often very tired.

The vessel of number 8 is on its way. He has very soothing energies but intense personality, he is a custom conjuration and fits perfectly in my keep. That I am exhausted is an understatement. We are going through a big change in the company I work for and I don't know If I will survive it.. My colleagues are falling apart too.. My companions are helping me in any way they can to help me through the day. Number 4 is helping me with the first half of my tasks in the morning to lunch. After lunch, 7 helps me strategize the rest of my work. 3 is only for protection. 1 is emotional support, 2 is helping me communicate with customers, 1 and 5 is there if I fall apart during work, so on and so forth. 8 is holding me back from getting to know him because rest is number one priority and there is a worry in the air among my spirits. I just don't know how to pick myself up again, if it's even possible. The system we work with isn't getting better and customers are getting more angry and they run out in anger, hoping for a change that will never come.... And I can't do anything about it...

I had a very weird experience.. I was in a smaller realm created by number 1. It's a place where we can all meet and hang out. But something happened, he suddenly took me with him and put us in a completely white space. I asked him what happened and he just said "compromised." And stared intensly at a dog like thing. It moved very fast and suddenly it was on top of me, staring me in my eyes and jumped off as 1 was ready to attack. 4 and 7 also joined us in the white space ready to defend, 1 hesitated and at this moment and I was like "hoooooold iiiiit!" Asking what is going on and who are you. This dog thing said it was a hellhound. My spirits felt as if I was attacked by it and wanted to retaliate and I felt like it was all a misunderstanding. We have never ever had a breach before in the realm, that is completely new to me and 7 is also patrolling the realm regularly. It looked as if doggy was ready to attack even if it was outnumbered. In my interpretation, no one was ready for this confrontation, it was kinda like bumping into a stranger on the street almost ending in a fight. I told 1 to stand back as he was the only one ready to attack without my order, I talked to doggy but it still wanted to attack or in my opinion, defend itself, so I explained the situation logically and it decided to leave. 1 had a couple of days earlier opened the realm to an unbound wanting to stay there for a while, that's probably why we had a breach in the first place and doggy did trespass into 1's house in the realm, I get why 1 was mad about it but still. It all happend so fast, it was confusing. I am just glad it was solved peacefully. I really don't like negative confrontations. All I want is for everyone to be happy and mind their own business.