Am I a psychic vampire?

Sentient tapestry · Tue Dec 05, 2023 11:24 pm

This has been a thing with me since I was a kid. For some reason, when I was about 11 and first started having *those* feelings, I was obsessed with fantasizing about people I'm attracted to being sick, weak or in pain for absolutely no reason. Back then it was mostly cartoon and anime characters, but a few years later when I started dating, I always felt way more attracted to others when there was something wrong with them. I've never wanted to hurt anyone and I don't purposefully make anyone sick or depressed, it's simply a feeling of absolute pleasure and focus which makes all else fade to the background. I recently found out it doesn't have to be sexual (though it mostly is), because I felt the same about a friend I have absolutely no feelings for recently.

I'm by no means an empath and I don't really feel when someone is in pain, but when someone tells me they are, it's like I'm instantly interested in knowing more. When someone, especially attractive people in a show or movie are in pain or weak, I get the same feeling and it's still my favorite thing to fantasize about. Obviously I can't feed off of the characters in my own fantasies, but the thing is, when I'm dating someone, I think I do leech off of them and am very much driven towards doing so. It's not really sadism, it's like all sense of absolutely everything fades when I feel that feeling and it becomes all I can focus on. I don't hate the subject, I don't love the subject, it's simply pleasurable.

Since the age of 15, almost every single person I've dated has gotten sick while we were together, regardless of how often they get sick in general. My relationships never lasted long and yet it always happened with only maybe 2 exceptions. Didn't even matter if it's online. And the statistics are quite vast because we're talking a new relationship lasting a couple months with no more than a couple months in between each or sometimes no time at all. Roughly, about 18 out of 20 have gotten sick in the first month of us dating regardless of season or what's typical for them.

Am I manifesting this because I have a strange obsession or is this something more? I remember for some reason liking it the most when someone has a strong stomach ache when I was a kid and had no clue why, until later I found out the solar plexus chakra is where your vitality supposedly is. It's a really bizarre feeling because even though I do like it quite a bit and even need it to an extent, I do comfort the people who are in pain and don't mind that pain going away, yet I always wait for the next time something happens. I'd never cause it, I don't even think I'd enjoy it if I did, am I some sort of emotional bottom feeder (ironically I do like bottoms and only top)?

madgar29 · Wed Dec 06, 2023 12:58 am

Psy vampires don't need to make people sick to feed... So the term your asking. I think is probably wrong. I dunno any psy vampires can tell me I'm wrong. But I didn't think they were connected

I dunno. I can't relate. My questions would be what stage at you at with their supernatural paranormal path you think. The more you work on this the more you will understand what is actually happening.

I don't think it's healthy to fantasize pain with sex but I understand many many people do. So I don't have much room to talk.

20 partners every two to four months no break is odd to me. And not healthy.
It's like asking if you ever been in love. Typical I guess for a new generation and the way they see sex. No idea. I'm just saying if your looking for something meaningful it's gonna take longer than a few months and not rushing into the next. just Mt opinion. Why do they end

Are you breaking up and moving to the next I'm assuming you already know who is next in those two months.

Which means you are probably smooth talker. Keen mind. Are you even aware of your own calculating from the current to the next?

I think if you watch yourself more you will figure it out faster. Like read what you typed. I don't need it. I don't like nor do I like it you then call it a obsession. I feel like maybe you don't see it?

It takes over and overwhelms your mind. My question I guess can you stop the process in your brain if you wanted to?

do you have any protection? Spells. Or spirits or have u ever asked who your guardian is?first thing I suggest is to keep sure your safe. By getting protection. Because I dunno what your dealing with. This thing there is a change it may not even be you. You never know.

I dunno there is a lot going on here. The age of 11 is interesting. Something traumatic at all for a child of 11 happen that year? I was eight when mine started. But ironically same year my parents got divorced. Same year I got abducted by ETs.

madgar29 · Wed Dec 06, 2023 1:09 am

I will say I have had beings attack my solar plex before though. Usually spider beings. Which were psy vampires. Who knows maybe your on to something

Lewk · Wed Dec 06, 2023 3:12 am

To quote the topic heading:

Sentient tapestry wrote: ↑Tue Dec 05, 2023 11:24 pm Am I a Psychic Vampire?

Being aware of a potential problem is probably half the battle, as they say. Which is a good thing.

There are 2 ways of looking at this:

Definition #1.

In occultism generally - psychic vampirism in the sense of someone, a living human, who just seems to drain the vitality and joy out of people or situations, without realising it. Usually people who experience the effect of that from someone - a parent or partner can be doing it - will feel that, while the alleged psychic vampire is blissfully unaware. A leading British occultist once explained it to me as like having 2 batteries linked. The charge equalises between them, leaving the one with higher energy feeling drained, while the other gains energy.

There's a related thing apparently known to casino owners in the last century: 'coolers'. Someone who intrinsically has bad luck. When a gambler is on a winning streak, the casino staff might use a cooler by placing them near the winner, which would bring their lucky streak to an end. Not much different to the idea of a Jonah (bringer of bad luck on a voyage) perhaps.

As a victim: I used to suffer the effects of this kind of psychic vampirism a lot. The occultist I consulted said that once we've achieved equipoise it won't really affect us. But of course there are ways to seal the energy system to prevent such drains, in the meantime.

As a perpetrator: I've never come across advice on how to stop oneself doing the draining. However...as energy drains can involve psychic cords, I suspect that learning how to cut cords between oneself and another person may help. Also perhaps learning how to safely source energy boosts for oneself. That could be via various types of energy work, including chi kung (eg standing practice/wu chi). Also by learning New Age types of psy vampirism. (See next definition.) Or affirming, with personal power, that you do not weaken a certain person.

I suspect CH might be able to carry out a personal consultation on this. I wonder if they would be able to do a code word and binding that'd stop the effect? (Everyone has 'low level' occult effects on the world around them. See the Rendered Impotent binding. So one that mutes that one aspect of your own might do the trick.)

https://shop.creepyhollows.com/psychic- ... ation.html

Definition #2.

Energy vampirism, which, in the New Age version - certainly the sort CH talks about, does not have to mean taking from others what they need for themselves. As I understand it, it also does not confer bad luck on anyone.

To me, the conscious practice of energy vampirism is like a form of energy work writ large. We all take energy from one source or another. According to chi and prana theory, we all take in energy from breathing and food, for example. When we're out in nature we take some of that energy in too. When we're in crowds all kinds of ambient energy is taken on.

See https://shop.creepyhollows.com/powers-o ... mpire.html
https://shop.creepyhollows.com/energy-v ... st-pd.html

What you've described in your post sounds to me more like definition #1 with an element of conferring bad luck - if it is actually what you think it is. (I don't know.)

Good luck resolving this.

madgar29 · Wed Dec 06, 2023 5:59 am

@Lewk they are aware of it it takes over their entire thinking like an addiction or a drug kicking in. And people hurting feeds it.

So that's i? No opinions on the entire situation 18 people all in two months get sick. This is not being aware this is not having control.

Then the narcissist behaviour in the post.

I don't think psy vampire is the real issue in this thread.

Gray Mongrel · Wed Dec 06, 2023 8:41 am

"I always felt way more attracted to others when there was something wrong with them"
I feel like this quote is a key component to solving your problem. This and the short amount of time between multiple relationships, in my opinion your issue is much more psychological than paranormal.

"When someone, especially attractive people in a show or movie are in pain or weak, I get the same feeling and it's still my favorite thing to fantasize about."
To me this sounds like a matter of attraction preference. Sadism is a spectrum and you don't have to be extreme and want to hurt others in order for you to be considered a sadist.

Those quotes now out of the way I want to make a few suggestions.

First of all I would like to suggest trying to discuss this in therapy whenever you get the chance, in order to grasp a better understanding of those feelings, their source and their way of working, their triggers, when do they appear? Are they linked in any way with your emotional wellbeing, things you go through? Etc., something only a specialist of that kind can help you figure out by unraveling them.

Second I would like to suggest trying to go without a relationship to work on yourself, for a longer period of time, 1 year and idealy even 2. Because that way you can figure out if there is something else within yourself causing the relationships to not work out aside from the possible "emotional vampirism". Like @madgar29 mentioned this pattern is a bit unhealthy if you take a good look at it from the outside. That being said I think you should take in consideration that people being in a relationship with you getting sick within the first month being a coincidence or a symptom of psy vampirism or not, people don't just split up because they get sick.

Third I would like to suggest getting educated on BDSM. It's a fantastic outlet to explore different sides of yourself and it can be done non-sexualy as well. There's a multitude of ways to figure out if there's other types of pain you like to see on others and in what circumstances while also doing it in a safe, sane and consensual environment where both parties have something to gain.

Hope this helps! Blessed be!

Sentient tapestry · Wed Dec 06, 2023 10:34 am

madgar29 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 06, 2023 12:58 am
I don't think it's healthy to fantasize pain with sex but I understand many many people do. So I don't have much room to talk.

20 partners every two to four months no break is odd to me. And not healthy.
It's like asking if you ever been in love. Typical I guess for a new generation and the way they see sex.

I dunno there is a lot going on here. The age of 11 is interesting. Something traumatic at all for a child of 11 happen that year? I was eight when mine started. But ironically same year my parents got divorced. Same year I got abducted by ETs.

It's not about sex, in fact I haven't had sex with most of my partners. I just don't really feel anything when I have sex nor do I really want to. What I described in my post is what brings me the most pleasure and the main reason I date people in the first place. The reason there have been so many is because I can sniff out what's wrong with them very early on and I am a very good judge of character. It's not at all uncommon for people to be dysfunctional, almost every married couple is.

I know you don't need to make people sick to feed, but I was wondering if there's a "flavor" of energy per se that's there when you're sick and weak that I'm attracted to. As I said, it's not about anything but pleasure, it makes me feel aroused but it doesn't make me want to have sex with the person, it's the sex itself if that makes any sense.

I did try to clarify that age 11 was when I started having sexual feelings, perhaps I was a little unclear, but yeah that's the reason I started projecting it onto those I feel attracted to. I have been getting abducted since before I can remember, and I have no idea how many times or what they're actually doing with me. I did have a strong feeling I shouldn't be a child as a kid and cringed at everything they made me do in kindergarten that was tailored to kids and had a deep feeling that I hate most people (for reasons that have only amplified in the times since), plus an understanding of manifestation and other concepts at age 5, so I'm pretty sure I could be a reincarnation of some sort of race for some weird scientific reason, since they do often incarnate here to be experimented on. I've been able to tell a huge deal about everyone I meet all my life as soon as I see them, even as a little 5yo kid, so I'm going to bank on this having a lot to do with it. I don't know if it's related but my whole life has been a mess and if something did go wrong with how I feel about things this does not at all encompass it.

Lastly, I have been in love when I was younger, and I've always been extremely romantic. Sadly, we live in a world where severe trauma sprinkled everywhere and the bare minimum is perceived as a virtuous feat, so I can't exactly afford to dwell on a failed relationship. I haven't dated in about a year because it's only getting worse and more insane, but I've been missing this feeling lately. I'm a very solitary person and probably wouldn't even date if it wasn't for it.

Adair Lasair Bán · Wed Dec 06, 2023 12:03 pm

Sentient tapestry wrote: ↑Wed Dec 06, 2023 10:34 am I know you don't need to make people sick to feed, but I was wondering if there's a "flavor" of energy per se that's there when you're sick and weak that I'm attracted to.

My suggestion is speaking to a psychologist. I don't believe you'll get answers for this here.

Adair Lasair Bán · Wed Dec 06, 2023 12:27 pm

Sometimes, it's easier to take problems and say it's paranormal related. Mental health is very much a human thing and it's important for us to recognise that and tend to it when needed.

Tarvos · Wed Dec 06, 2023 5:57 pm

Sentient tapestry wrote: ↑Tue Dec 05, 2023 11:24 pm This has been a thing with me since I was a kid. For some reason, when I was about 11 and first started having *those* feelings, I was obsessed with fantasizing about people I'm attracted to being sick, weak or in pain for absolutely no reason. Back then it was mostly cartoon and anime characters, but a few years later when I started dating, I always felt way more attracted to others when there was something wrong with them. I've never wanted to hurt anyone and I don't purposefully make anyone sick or depressed, it's simply a feeling of absolute pleasure and focus which makes all else fade to the background. I recently found out it doesn't have to be sexual (though it mostly is), because I felt the same about a friend I have absolutely no feelings for recently.

I'm by no means an empath and I don't really feel when someone is in pain, but when someone tells me they are, it's like I'm instantly interested in knowing more. When someone, especially attractive people in a show or movie are in pain or weak, I get the same feeling and it's still my favorite thing to fantasize about. Obviously I can't feed off of the characters in my own fantasies, but the thing is, when I'm dating someone, I think I do leech off of them and am very much driven towards doing so. It's not really sadism, it's like all sense of absolutely everything fades when I feel that feeling and it becomes all I can focus on. I don't hate the subject, I don't love the subject, it's simply pleasurable.

Since the age of 15, almost every single person I've dated has gotten sick while we were together, regardless of how often they get sick in general. My relationships never lasted long and yet it always happened with only maybe 2 exceptions. Didn't even matter if it's online. And the statistics are quite vast because we're talking a new relationship lasting a couple months with no more than a couple months in between each or sometimes no time at all. Roughly, about 18 out of 20 have gotten sick in the first month of us dating regardless of season or what's typical for them.

Am I manifesting this because I have a strange obsession or is this something more? I remember for some reason liking it the most when someone has a strong stomach ache when I was a kid and had no clue why, until later I found out the solar plexus chakra is where your vitality supposedly is. It's a really bizarre feeling because even though I do like it quite a bit and even need it to an extent, I do comfort the people who are in pain and don't mind that pain going away, yet I always wait for the next time something happens. I'd never cause it, I don't even think I'd enjoy it if I did, am I some sort of emotional bottom feeder (ironically I do like bottoms and only top)?

Given that the person is already unwell when you become acquainted with them, you're not engaging in psychic vampirism or draining others of their energy. I agree with Adair that this isn't related to anything paranormal. Also, you don't have to be a person who enjoys causing pain to indulge in these particular fetishes. There I said it.

One possibility is the term "attraction to sickness." This term is used to describe an interest in the appearance, sensation, and experience of the sick. However, it's crucial to note that these terms are not equivalent to finding pleasure in other's pain, which is the hallmark of sadism. They cover attraction, fascination, obsession, self-portrayal as sick or someone else's sickness, but don't inherently imply deriving pleasure from others' suffering. The attraction is a type of fetishism. It doesn't have to involve sex. It would be advisable to consult a therapist and discuss this matter in-depth, particularly since it has been impacting your relationships.

Am I a psychic vampire?

Login • Register