Should I Start Tasking a New Companion Immediately?

sweetchiliyeet · Fri Jan 06, 2023 10:09 pm

I made an order for a RA and it's just been completed, and I'm so excited for the package to arrive. Aside from overall seeming extremely interesting and like the perfect companion for me, the spirit I got sounds absolutely perfect for the thing that's been on my mind the past few months. I'm hesitant to task him immediately, though, since the task is quite a big one that will likely be an ongoing process for a long time.

Long story short, I have completely no sense of self/identity. I can't tell the difference between who I am, who I want to be, and who I think other people want me to be. Living like this causes me a lot of distress because I can't even make the simplest decisions (let alone big life choices) and I can never tell if people like me or if they like a fake version of me. I would like to task my new companion with encouraging and helping me to develop a solid sense of self and a true genuine identity.

Should I start tasking him immediately, or should I wait until after the 30 day bonding period?

(Also, unrelated to my question, but I can already feel his energy so intensely. This is the first spirit who gives me a strong feeling of euphoria, it's so wonderful!)

(Also, to clarify, I'm not expecting him to fix me entirely on his own. I'm doing a lot of work myself, and I'd like to get into stuff like therapy when possible.)

bunny · Fri Jan 06, 2023 11:58 pm

If it feels right to you then you can start tasking immediately

every bond between spirit and keeper is different and personal, so whatever feels right for the both of you is the best choice. Chances are your new spirit knows what you need help with anyways and is more than willing to get to work right away.

Also, be who *you* want to be. That's all that matters, I promise

every day is a chance to create who you want to be and show it to the world.

stargazerjournal · Sat Jan 07, 2023 2:41 am

I've had several spirits that I had to task as soon as they arrived, since it was an emergency. I've never had any of them refuse the task as given, or be offended by it. You still have to do the bonding process with them, though. My favorite for this is my Amphisbaena - they just went to work immediately, and whenever a task is finished, they remind me to give them another one. Cheerful little thing.

You also might want to consider doing shadow work. There are a lot of resources that can help you. Amazon has shadow work workbooks and shadow work tarot decks. There are also YouTube videos, online articles, etcetera. And I hope you find a good therapist, because mine has always helped me.

Lewk · Sat Jan 07, 2023 11:45 pm

@sweetchiliyeet I guess it's okay to ask / invite / give permission for the spirit companion to help with this right away.

Are they bridged by CH to your spirit, or bound to it?

If there's a vessel, I would wait until it arrives to do initial bonding quiet time together, when this can be discussed in detail. And maybe try setting an easily achievable first goal with a realistic timescale. You could then review progress with your companion on a weekly or monthly basis. (It's probably understandable that something like 'make my life perfect immediately' is the wrong thing to try, for several reasons.)

sweetchiliyeet · Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:35 am

@Lewk he is bridged to my spirit, I like having physical vessels to remind my of my companions, and to have something more tangible to focus on when I work or spend time with my companions.

I think you're right about waiting until the vessel gets here to initiate bonding. I'm thinking that it's probably a good idea to spend at least a month bonding with him and getting to know him before even starting to discuss any big tasks like what I have in mind. I might give him some smaller tasks during the first month or so if it feels right, but I'll probably most likely spend that time focusing on the basic foundations of a companionship.

Yesterday, after making this post, I found my old journal from when I first started spirit keeping. I was flipping through it to try and find something, but I mostly just ended up cringing about how much I misread/misinterpreted my companions before I really got to know them. It felt like a sign to slow down a bit and make sure I can communicate properly with my new companion first.

I definitely jumped the gun here in my excitement lol!

Lewk · Sun Jan 08, 2023 3:42 am

sweetchiliyeet wrote: ↑Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:35 am @Lewk he is bridged to my spirit, I like having physical vessels to remind my of my companions, and to have something more tangible to focus on when I work or spend time with my companions.

I think you're right about waiting until the vessel gets here to initiate bonding. I'm thinking that it's probably a good idea to spend at least a month bonding with him and getting to know him before even starting to discuss any big tasks like what I have in mind. I might give him some smaller tasks during the first month or so if it feels right, but I'll probably most likely spend that time focusing on the basic foundations of a companionship.

Yesterday, after making this post, I found my old journal from when I first started spirit keeping. I was flipping through it to try and find something, but I mostly just ended up cringing about how much I misread/misinterpreted my companions before I really got to know them. It felt like a sign to slow down a bit and make sure I can communicate properly with my new companion first.

I definitely jumped the gun here in my excitement lol!

I see what you mean.

But it is also okay to ask our bound spirit companions something simple like 'please help me with my day today' at the start of the day. Share our hopes and fears for the day ahead and invite their help with that.

That is not detailed, planned out, goals-related tasking but it is a kind of tasking. Even house rules are a kind of tasking, the way I look at it.

Osean · Sun Jan 08, 2023 3:14 pm

Some spirits of mine have come into my life and wanted to get to work right away and others wanted to bond first. Every spirit has been different so I would follow your gut on this.

Tarvos · Sun Jan 08, 2023 5:29 pm

sweetchiliyeet wrote: ↑Fri Jan 06, 2023 10:09 pm I made an order for a RA and it's just been completed, and I'm so excited for the package to arrive. Aside from overall seeming extremely interesting and like the perfect companion for me, the spirit I got sounds absolutely perfect for the thing that's been on my mind the past few months. I'm hesitant to task him immediately, though, since the task is quite a big one that will likely be an ongoing process for a long time.

Long story short, I have completely no sense of self/identity. I can't tell the difference between who I am, who I want to be, and who I think other people want me to be. Living like this causes me a lot of distress because I can't even make the simplest decisions (let alone big life choices) and I can never tell if people like me or if they like a fake version of me. I would like to task my new companion with encouraging and helping me to develop a solid sense of self and a true genuine identity.

Should I start tasking him immediately, or should I wait until after the 30 day bonding period?

(Also, unrelated to my question, but I can already feel his energy so intensely. This is the first spirit who gives me a strong feeling of euphoria, it's so wonderful!)

(Also, to clarify, I'm not expecting him to fix me entirely on his own. I'm doing a lot of work myself, and I'd like to get into stuff like therapy when possible.)

My Keep suggests that you get to know your new companion a bit during the first 3 days and you can task him as part of the 30-day bonding time.

NitNatNewt · Wed Jan 11, 2023 6:32 pm

It really depends on the being. Some are eager to do things for us, others prefer to only work on the most necessary things at determined by them. Talk to your friend and see which approach they prefer.

cndrow · Tue Feb 07, 2023 3:41 am

I agree with others who’ve said it can be dependent on the spirit themselves.

Personally, most of my companions have wanted to get started right away. Several have told me that the act of me asking them for help or giving a task was a sign of trust toward them, and they sincerely appreciated the gesture. Tasking also seems to help me bond with them faster, as we usually interact a lot to check in about the task and discuss it.

I have had a couple companions who definitely wanted to observe and get to know me before we began working together too, so.. likely dependent on what they’d individually prefer.

Should I Start Tasking a New Companion Immediately?

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