great point about the windchimes as an aide in communication. i have my ch spirit chimes on the back door (where most unbounds come to before receiving either permission or a harpy sending them along their way), two chimes in the living/dining/kitchen areas since we have vaulted ceilings and an enchanted set from india which was a gift in the bedroom near the ch nightplay item.

alex - "direct anger toward the action and not the person" with da spirits is definitely wise advice along with the rest you've posted above that. da spirits also seem to pick up very clearly not only the thoughts we have along with the emotions but also seem to see straight through to our heart and get our true intentions from there as well. so here are three ways a da spirit could potentially misinterpret our true wishes if we are not careful. this isn't to say they're looking for ways to catch us but it is sound advice in order to be a keeper that the da spirits in one's keep can respect and trust.

my wraiths all possess a steadiness about them most of the time but i have witnessed their anger in force where i have had to check myself just to make sure i wasn't sending a message by mistake and to enforce the rule that nothing is to be done without my direct say so. i really am impressed with the wraith's protectiveness and now would never be without one at least. take care all! arsine

Wiccan Warrior Alex wrote:Cell, you are correct.

ninjalovergirl wrote: One question though, what would be considered a dark thought that would cause a wraith to lose respect?

Thoughts such as wishing harm to others but not saying it out loud, then contradicting that by saying to the wraith, no, it's not okay to act on the thoughts you are reading from me.

This sends mixed messages to spirits, but more in particular, to wraiths, who will act on our thoughts, feelings. If this is an ongoing thing,
they may perceive the keeper as wishy washy and think the keeper doesn't know what they want. They lose respect, then do what they believe is best for the keeper, without consideration of what may be morally right or wrong. They will revert to their true nature in making those decisions for the keeper.

There is a reason that Ash has stated many times that keeping a dark art spirit is a responsibility.

So control of one's thoughts is important. If one finds themself angry with another, one must re-phrase this dark thought in the mind, and direct the anger toward the 'action' not the 'person'.

I won't print this in giant size print, lol, but I would like to stress this point because it is very important in successful wraith keeping:

Direct anger toward the 'action and not the 'person'.

Namaste,
Alex





Namaste,
Alex

When I first read this I panicked because I thought I might unintentionally be sending thoughts to my wraith, but then I thought about how I react if someone I care about has an argument with me, I usually storm off and think something like "she shouldn't have said that, that was really mean" and grumble and sulk, but I never actually wish harm on anyone. I never thought about it until now, even though I have told my wraith my family is off limits, no matter what, I will be more aware of what i am thinking and feeling, so nothing bad will happen. Thanks for giving me advice!

Dang, this is a great thread. Alex, it seems like your advice for handling wraiths would also apply well for other heavy DA's.

Awesome information. Thanks guys! :thumbup:

"direct anger toward the action and not the person"

Spot on Crone! As humans, we will always have bursts of anger as a result of others actions or in-actions. It's important to always direct anger at just the situation or action.

The one thing I've said to my wraiths from day one is that their role is to defend and protect only. Despite my thoughts, and feelings, or lack thereof knowledge of the offenders intentions, my wraiths are to only block the attack.

Any just karma is to be handed down by the universe only. This must be made clear to the wraiths, and all other defensive spirits.

Just to clarify what I said above, the thoughts and feelings that you get as a result of someone's actions, you should train yourself to focus on what happened, and not who did it.

Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. The universe has some meaning behind it. If someone does something, it's you who assigns an emotion or feeling to it. You decide whether it affects you or not. So in any situation, we cannot blame anyone else.

I have a wraith on the way and I am SO glad you guys posted!
I don't want to be a 'wishy-washy' person or have my wraith take out all my anger on everyone who peeves me lol. (I get peeved a LOT)
I am really learning a lot here and appreciate all of ya.

ShiVa wrote: Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. The universe has some meaning behind it. If someone does something, it's you who assigns an emotion or feeling to it. You decide whether it affects you or not. So in any situation, we cannot blame anyone else.

So true ! -Love those lines..! :thumbup:

This is an excellent post!!!! Thanks for bumping this is a very good reminder that with wraiths and other da spirits, you do have to be very careful of your thoughts and have firm house rules in place!!!

We know we can't control what other people may feel or do towards us, but we can control ourselves and our own actions!!! If we act out of anger or with rashness before thinking it out first, then of course our spirits like wraiths and our other das may act on those feelings, before we know that they did!!!

We need to think about what our das can do to others without us meaning for them to do so!!! Do we really want harm to happen to others for something that might be just a petty thing? You have to consider what is real harm towards you and what is just something that might be just a petty thing and can be just ignored or deflected away, without causing any kind of harm to anyone!!!!

It takes a lot of careful thinking on our part, so we just don't react out of anger or rashness!!!!

starfire :dragons:: :kistune:

Ooh, great thread. I have three on its way from CH, I found this very informative. :thumbup:

Wiccan Warrior Alex wrote:Direct anger toward the 'action' and not the 'person'.

If we MUST show anger (even in our thoughts), THIS is the way to do so. That quote says a lot... and by doing that, you may prevent some "regrets". :thumbup: