Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

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Bella
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Re: EVERYONE needs to check their behavior.

Postby Bella » Sun Jun 19, 2011 8:57 am

NoctemAeternus wrote:Off topic but on topic at the same time,
Bella - I was considering recently that I really think you should be journeyman by now. Apply for it!


:thumbup: I had applied already... :think:


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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby jellybean » Sun Jun 19, 2011 10:30 am

I think the meaning behind the colours is a great idea (although I do have to admit that some of the colours used aren't my favourite!) I have been lurking around the forum since early September last year and found my way here by way of the thread on Mrs Gula. (Thanks Caiyros!) In that time I have seen a lot of changes and they aren't all good. 

I seem to have an inbuilt BS meter and I always seem to *know* when something posted feels wrong. I don't really understand that, but it has served me for as long as I can remember, so I trust it, even when I know nothing about the topic. And especially when something controversial has been posted, I always look for confirmation, especially here where everything is so new to me; and who better to look to than the ones who have been here the longest? And I have found that my instinct has always, so far, agreed with what the elders of the forum have written. So not only have I learnt something new, I have also had validation that my intuition is correct. That is an important part of this journey, and I am grateful for the experiences which have been so freely shared here.

We each have our own unique experiences and each of us knows something that someone else doesn't, but I have been amazed at the lack of respect from some of the newer members to the older members. Just because an elder has taken the time to correct something that another member believes was correct, whether they agree with the elder's comments or not, it does not give them the right to be rude or disrespectful. And, no, I haven't read all the threads here and I haven't seen all the elder's comments, but I have not read a rude or disrespectful reply from an elder yet. Exasperated or frustrated - yes; but rude or disrespectful - no.

There are some members here that I really look forward to reading posts from. And no, they aren't all elders, but they are all respectful to any they might be replying to. I have a lot to learn about everything here, and I am grateful for people such as Crone, Caiyros, SEER77, AngelDust, Phoenix, Ellen, Ellegria* and so many others of many colours who are willing to share their knowledge to help the rest of us grow, or even just to make us think.

The world is changing more rapidly that ever before and there are a lot of newcomers to the paranormal and in particular to this forum, so we need to stick together, watch each other's backs and help each other learn and grow. If we do not show respect for our elders, we will lose them and the experiences they can share. And that will be a great loss indeed.


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Re: EVERYONE needs to check their behavior.

Postby brotony101 » Sun Jun 19, 2011 11:22 am

Bella wrote:
NoctemAeternus wrote:Off topic but on topic at the same time,
Bella - I was considering recently that I really think you should be journeyman by now. Apply for it!


:thumbup: I had applied already... :think:


I applied for Tenured and got a reply that they check once a month and then upgrade those within the parameters for doing so.


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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby Samsara » Sun Jun 19, 2011 5:03 pm

Thanks jellybean!

I'm blue and I get bashed all the time. Eventually you get thick skin and start bashing back or backing off. Welcome to human interaction. Some do speak intentionally harsh because they are frustrated with all the other posts (or things in their life) and your's just happen to be the straw that broke the camels back, while others continue to try to change the iron wall and constantly feel disappointment they haven't succeeded.

Everything has it's yin and yang. Colors show time as a member which make information easier to find, but it also creates an imaginary class system. Trust me it's imaginary. I've explained many times blue doesn't make me more honored, smarter, etc.... and then it gets buries in a post....and then someone else gets slighted by a member and all they remember is the color.

If a person is rude, it doesn't matter what color they are. And if they are going to disagree with you, it doesn't matter what color you are.

In life sometimes it isn't worth bringing up and unpleasant feeling. Sometimes it is better work through it quietly on our own, because sometimes it is our own perception of ourselves that colors our opinion of other's opinion of us.

Also it avoids us being labelled a drama queen. What is a drama queen? Someone who labels other people's disagreements/comments as an attack or complain that others are out to hurt them, something is unfair, constant view of the negative of every good intention. It's hard to walk on egg shells.

Not trying to single anyone out in particular, I'm just giving a definition for other members who may not realize they could come off as one, thus lowering the morale...It doesn't matter what color you are, a drama queen is a drama queen. Maybe people will check themselves and we'll all have better quality posts, maybe they won't and every other post will be about someone's attitude bringing them down.


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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby Ashino Tsume roshi » Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:06 am

EarthSpirit wrote:Ouch.

I don't think I was specifically bashing anyone in this post. I was simply stating my opinion on something that's bothering me.

Isn't it an accurate statement to say everyone should respect everyone? Because that was basically the gist of my post.

I'm sorry for the opinion. :/

I didn't say I want the blues and greens to leave, I said I want them to respect whites as well as everyone else. Just like EVERYONE should respect everyone else.

I think your post was a little uncalled for, Caiyros. :(

This was not a raise the roof post, this was a, "we should get along" and "everyone should respect each other" post.

I couldn't find any nastiness in my post... If you can find it and quote it for me, I will apologize to anyone I was nasty to.
What you say, "stop the nastiness," is exactly what my post was saying.. So I guess I don't understand why we're in such disagreement.

Is it because I pointed out that the white members aren't the only ones at fault? I think we all need to own up to our faults. Blue or green doesn't make you immune.

And Caiyros? I don't have a "little group." Unless you're talking about all white members, which in itself proves the problem that my post was addressing. :/


If you have a couple.5. or 6 people all agreeing 90% of the time - It is a group....Caiyros


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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby EarthSpirit » Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:32 am

No one has really defended me in this post so it seems there aren't many who agree.

Caiyros, I know that we have hard feelings between one another but for the peace and well-being of both of us, I hope we can put it behind us and create a respectful relationship. I would like to be able to continue to read your posts and learn from them.


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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby Noctua » Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:26 am

EarthSpirit wrote:No one has really defended me in this post so it seems there aren't many who agree.


There will always be those who agree with certain points of yours, but simply may not feel like getting involved in the discussion. So, don't feel like you are alone based on how things immediately appear.



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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby Ashino Tsume roshi » Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:44 am

EarthSpirit wrote:No one has really defended me in this post so it seems there aren't many who agree.

Caiyros, I know that we have hard feelings between one another but for the peace and well-being of both of us, I hope we can put it behind us and create a respectful relationship. I would like to be able to continue to read your posts and learn from them.



iI have no hard feelings about you, but I certainly disagree with you on several points - completely disagree. My main point is this...the only thing that needs fixing is Good Manners and Publicly Explaining that Attacking sellers and new people has become so epidemic that I personally believe that the damage is already done. Your passion for fairness for all - I think is so clearly stated that it needs no further comment. And that the real issue is people being singled out and attacked. I think that colors and all that are not the issue at all, but that if questioning it and proposing new things will only lead to not confusion, but creating another shield for the "Scamp-Critiques" to do just more of the same that has been done...If yu would like to talk further (and if so, it will be cordial, then PM me...it can take me up to a day to respond)

Caiyros


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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby sadlotus79 » Mon Jun 20, 2011 3:10 am

the colours on here are a good thing i dont think that needs to be changed at all.

what needs doing in this forum is for people to check their bad attitudes at the door, enter with an open mind and have basic manners and courtesy for each other.

also for everyone to stop ganging up on each other like were all still in primary school.

i don't know about the rest of you but i come here to learn and grow,if i wanna hang out with children i will visit my niece and nephew.


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A few their virtues, too, find out;
But is there one—I have a doubt—
Who can his own defects discern?
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Re: Starting to think the colors are a bad idea.

Postby EarthSpirit » Mon Jun 20, 2011 3:16 am

Caiyros Arlan wrote:
EarthSpirit wrote:No one has really defended me in this post so it seems there aren't many who agree.

Caiyros, I know that we have hard feelings between one another but for the peace and well-being of both of us, I hope we can put it behind us and create a respectful relationship. I would like to be able to continue to read your posts and learn from them.



iI have no hard feelings about you, but I certainly disagree with you on several points - completely disagree. My main point is this...the only thing that needs fixing is Good Manners and Publicly Explaining that Attacking sellers and new people has become so epidemic that I personally believe that the damage is already done. Your passion for fairness for all - I think is so clearly stated that it needs no further comment. And that the real issue is people being singled out and attacked. I think that colors and all that are not the issue at all, but that if questioning it and proposing new things will only lead to not confusion, but creating another shield for the "Scamp-Critiques" to do just more of the same that has been done...If yu would like to talk further (and if so, it will be cordial, then PM me...it can take me up to a day to respond)

Caiyros



I will agree to disagree with you about some things, and we can both focus on the fact that what we both want is the same, peace and fairness. Is that an accurate statement? I think we should just leave it at that.

It is fine that folks disagree with the color issue. It doesn't offend me that my ideas aren't agreed with. Everyone reserves the right to their own opinion.

I hope to continue to learn from you, Caiyros. Please don't discontinue posting your ideas. I often find them interesting and valuable.


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