Toxic Environment Resources

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Maythen21
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At some point most of us will be exposed to a toxic environment. I've seen multiple posts attempting to address this issue, so I've decided to try addressing it all at once, instead of hijacking someone elses thread.

Often this exposure happens at home, school, or work; places that can be difficult to escape or avoid under normal circumstances.

While it's possible for this toxicity to be communal, it's often the focus of a single person or small group making things miserable for everybody else. This means that the Number One solution is to GET AWAY. (this can be particularly challenging if you are a minor, as there is very little you might feel capable of doing to change your situation. hang in there, I'm comin back for you guys.)

#1 Remove yourself from the toxic situation. Methods to do this are not limited to but include; get a different job, kick the problem out of your home, leave the toxic person, stop being friends, cut off the relationship.

The sad truth is, that you're not going to be able to change the source of Toxicity in most cases, ESPECIALLY if the source is a particular person. Your best bet is to get away. Be strong, make proactive choices, and get the heck out.

#2 Get some help to figure out how you ended up in the situation and how you can best break the patterns and not go back. This is especially important if the Toxic source was a family member, partner, or authority figure.

But Maythen, you might be wailing... I just Can't do anything to change my situation.

Is it work? Get a different job. It might take time and effort you think you don't have... suck it up. The longer you stay the worse it will get.

Is it your partner? Get rid of your partner. If that means making plans and financial trickery to keep you and your dependents safe, do what you must. Abuse is NEVER tolerable and always escalates.

Family member? Can be even more difficult that a partner, but still doable. Cut them off. Tell them why if it suits you. If that person shows up just leave, make it clear to other family members you feel might be affected. In the case of minor family (your evil nephew Fred that you caught torturing a baby bunny when he was 5 perhaps) that may mean cutting out the parents.

In the case of a minor/dependant child, your exposure levels are not always under your control. If the situation is abusive please speak to a trusted adult and seek help. Even if you don't feel this qualifies as abuse, I still urge you to speak with a trusted adult. If there is no trustworthy adult I recommend you seek outside assistance.
Covenant house is a teen oriented hotline 24/7 1-800-999-9999. The Trevor Lifeline is oriented towards those struggling with LGTB issues 1-866-488-7386. You can also look in your local phone book for crisis hotlines available in your area. 1-800-SUICIDE is a crisis line you can call.

But let's say none of the above can be applied in your situation. What you really want to know is how to apply spells or spirits to the situation, right?

#1 Energy Morphing Binding.
Works exactly as described, transforming any excess energy (personal or ambient) into a different form of energy. Transform Negative Energy to Positive Energy, Anger to Peace, Anxiety to Tranquility, Stress to Healing Light. The possibilities are only limited to your own abilities.

#2 Lazy Orb
This piece has multiple capabilities that are going to help you here. Chiefly cleansing energies, earth, protection, chakra and aura cleanse/balance, Deflection/Dissolution/Repel/Block.
It's one of those pieces that requires a considerable investment, but is going to be your go-to piece for a lifetime of exploration.

#3 Emotional Resilience
Provides a lovely minty shield between you and the unpleasant emotion. The most fantastic aspect (IMHO) is that it functions whether the source is external or internal. While it doesn't stop the unpleasant emotion, it does give you a wonderful dethatched position from which to observe it.
Be aware, in my experience it needs to be removed periodically or it interferes with a normal sleep cycle. But your experience may differ.


When it comes to spirits, I'm a less is more girl, but here are a few that seem uniquely suited to those exposed to toxic environments.

#1 Volkh
Fantastic at cleansing and protection. Easy to bond with, requires little from their Keeper. They do their job and do it well with a minimum of fuss. In my experience best results are obtained from constant wear, skin contact if possible.

#2 Angel (pick the type best suited to your needs)
When it comes to comfort, protection, and healing then you can't go wrong with an angel. They also offer a soothing companionship and connection to Universal Love. In my experience you do not need to be a Christian to enjoy their company, so don't let religious differences get in your way.

#3 Dragon (stay on the WhiteArts end of the personality spectrum)
Each person has their own preference here, but I've heard very positive results from those Keeping White, Gold, Silver, and Quartz dragons. For those suffering a sense of loneliness and isolation dragons can offer a special solace in their presence.


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Merch
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Good advice. I like this. It will take effort, but in the long run it will be best...if you have to stay in the environment while you work to get out, I like your suggestions for bindings and spirits that will help out!


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Very well done!!!!! :applause: :thumbup: :D

It takes courage in order to make a change to got out of a abusive relationship or any abusive realtionship, be it spose, parent, or sibling....those binding and spirits will help you have that!!!!!

starfire ::dragons:: :kistune:


Keeper of many spirits, who I suspect are keeping me instead!!!

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Keeper of Thor, my friend and protector
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sadlotus79
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wish i had advice like this as a child.
good information you've shared.


When one tugs at a single thing in nature,he find it attached to the rest of the world.
John Muir

Men soon the faults of others learn
A few their virtues, too, find out;
But is there one—I have a doubt—
Who can his own defects discern?
Sanskrit Proverb

tagore.
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It's tough once you're still a child/not independent, but you're over 18. Cause then none of those hotlines care and the police dont care unless they hit you and even then not usually. "Just leave" they'll say.

My mom is a extremely emotionally abusive person and being as she is my mom she knows just what buttons to push to make me feel horrible. I don't live under her roof, I live under my grandma's roof, but I can't move out on my own and my mom shows no signs of becoming self sufficient anytime soon. We've gone to counseling but it doesn't help because I'm the only one that tries. In fact her counselor yelled at me once and said I was like a husband, who brings in their wife and says "Make her this way", expecting her to do it. That particular day, I had brought up an issue regarding privacy. See, I have no door, so first thing my mom does when she comes out of her room is gawk at me. Being a young adult with... needs, and with a significant other, this presents problems. I had no idea that wanting a reasonable expectation of privacy was akin to being an abusive husband.

It's gotten to the point where I simply no longer care. People tell me she is my mother and I must respect her because she brought me into this world. To that, I have only one thing to say: I never asked to be here.
I have tons of spirits, and nothing has really changed. The only way things will change is if I can become self sufficient and move out, or if she moves out. Either way it is already a certainty that she will have no access to any children I eventually have. She spent my childhood years telling me how men only want women for sex, so you should dangle sex in front of them like a carrot, and that once you aren't a virgin, you better give up because you can only get a man as a virgin, anything else is damaged goods, and how fat and ugly girls like me are only there to be used by men, I'd never be loved. Heck.. when my fiance of 2 years dumped me, she was happy. In fact she wishes that I will get married and divorce at 15 years of marriage, like she did. She has said that. She wishes it on me so I will "know her pain", since her and my father divorced over 10 years ago and she still is not over it.

I don't want this for my kids.
She never hit me but I'd rather she hit me than do what she does. Physical pain goes away in a few days. Mental scarring takes months to years of counseling to fix.
Sorry for this post. Suggestions welcome.


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Maythen21
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AstralD wrote:It's tough once you're still a child/not independent, but you're over 18. Cause then none of those hotlines care and the police dont care unless they hit you and even then not usually. "Just leave" they'll say. CONTENT REMOVED BY MAYTHEN Sorry for this post. Suggestions welcome.
Since you've heard it before, I suspect you might not want to hear it again, but it bears repeating, and you asked.

If you are considered an adult (I realize this varies by country and culture) then it is your responsibility to make proactive choices to ensure your independence. If you are disabled in some fashion there are often government programs that will assist you with employment. If disability is a factor in your personal circumstances I urge you to seek Employment rather than a form of government assistance. Trading one parental figure for another wont help you in the long run.

I am going to assume you are above the age of consent as implied by some of your post. If you want to be treated as an adult (like having sex with your partner without interference) then you must conduct yourself as an adult. Age alone will not be sufficient if you don't back it up with responsible action. Get a job, get your own place, take care of yourself. When it's your home and it's you paying the bills you can do as you please. If visitors don't like that (including family) you can show them the door. I can't articulate how satisfying it felt to throw a narrow minded racist family member out of my home for his hate-speech. I got to have that experience because I made the adult decisions that led to my independence.

I have been a minor trapped in toxic environments or abusive situations, this does not doom you to an eternity of the same. If you are above the age of consent then you must take responsibility for yourself and take the steps neccessary to improve your situation, remove the source of toxicity, and accept the full burdens of adulthood.

This may mean making a different type of sacrifice, but if you truly wish to make changes then you will do the work to make it happen.

No spirit or spell is going to do the work for you.

Particularly when you have grown up in an abusive or toxic environment, the challenges to change can seem insurmountable. But these decisions are truly your own to make. I applaud your conviction to break the cycle, but to do so you must first escape it's clutches.
:peace:


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Thanks for posting this Maythen.


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Maythen21
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minor specific resources

You guys are in a special position, and I think that deserves a separate consideration. You may have no income of your own and no ability to escape. There are still steps you can take to protect yourself.

#1 You are not alone.
At your birth you came into this world with spirits and guides that want to help you. You do not have to buy them, conjure them, or appease them. Call upon them, and allow them to help you. I like the following opening; "I call upon my Guides, my Guardians, my Ancestors, and the spirits that love me." ( you may also add your gods or leave out the ancestors if you have concerns) Then just talk it out, let them know what's going on. Ask for strength. Ask for healing. Ask for whatever you need. (not want - need)

#2 Learn to Ground and Center
There are multiple methods, but this is going to be key to keeping your cool. If you are trapped in a Toxic environment this technique is going to give you a foundation for self preservation.

http://www.creepyhollows.com/phpBB3/vie ... it=+ground

#3 Learn to Shield
It isn't easy, but this is your first, last, and best personal protection. Consider yourself uniquely suited to learning, as you are bombarded with "test opportunities". Again, foundational. There are lots of threads on CH about shielding techniques, as well as resources in the Encyclopedia and elsewhere on the internet. In the meantime:

The simplest easiest shield I know

SHIELD #1, THE WARM FUZZY -
This is for the Profoundly Limp Noodle to use, as all it requires is that you're still breathing
Erect this shield with slow deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. If you struggle to slow your breath then purse your lips like a fish.
That said, as you inhale imagine energy and strength pouring into
your body with the air. As you exhale, imagine your expelled
breath as a golden mist. As you continue to breath in and out
visualize this mist becoming a warm, protective sphere around you,
growing larger with each exhalation.

Allow the golden breath to swirl and expand into an egg or sphere shape, encompassing your entire body including your back, head, and feet (the spots most often neglected)

#4 Start planning ahead
No matter how young you are, start planning how you can best achieve independence and escape the source of Toxicity.
4a. As soon as you are old enough, start earning your own income. Paper routes, babysitting, lawn mowing, or a lemonade stand Just Do It. Learn to budget, and learn to save.
4b. Avoid pitfalls that will make your escape harder; booze, drugs, flunking classes, casual or unprotected sex. You know what I'm talking about. All those marvelously seductive self destructive vices that you think will provide temporary escape from your situation and instead doom you to a life trapped in it's grip.
Seriously, that is not the life you want.
4c. When you are ready to make your escape (college, your own home, however you get there) do not run blindly. Have a solid plan to take care of yourself. Do your research.
4d. Do not trade one bad situation for another.

#5 Learn to meditate.
http://www.creepyhollows.com/phpBB3/vie ... =+meditate

#6 Start a daily devotion.
This need not be religious, but it can be. This is a few minutes you set aside each day to connect with yourself. (I like first thing in the morning, then again before bed) Ready yourself for the challenges ahead, and call for the help and protection you feel you might need. Cleanse yourself. Setting your intention will go a long way in changing the patterns you walk in.


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