This is a great post, and I totally agree with your sentiments but unfortunately, although we all have one thing in common, there is a lot more we don't. What I am trying to say is that naturally there will be personality clashes, and well, words are easy to misinterpret, and therefore misunderstandings are common. There are a lot of sensitive and passionate people on this board, that is all I can really say. I personally am able to see both sides of the story, the flip side of the coin so to speak, I try not to make strong accusations, and perhaps hide behind humour to lighten the tone. I can usually see the 'funny' in most situations. I don't think I am offended or insulted by what many are, and yes, this I know exactly which incident this has sprung from, and I hate it when things escalate, and then people are too scared to post/reply/comment due to the fear of upsetting or angering others.

As for newbies, well, I think many do make an effort to welcome them. I understand a lot of people are naturally struggling with personal issues and such, and so don't have the time or energy to do so, and that is fair enough. I know I always try to say 'hello' when I spot somebody new, and make sure that they feel sufficiently welcomed. But hey, this should be something that you want to do, it is not your duty or something that is forced upon you - you are free to post a reply if you want. A lot of people also hate having to repeat themselves over and over again with the same newbie questions, and whilst I honestly don't mind posting the same advice for the gazillionth time, I guess others probably find it tedious and so will refrain. To each their own I guess.

This entire situation could be resolved by simply reading my stickied post "This is an open forum" in the Messages & Updates category.

In my personal opinion, I feel that the atmosphere around here is quite pleasant and conducive to those who wish to participate to do so. However, perception & opinion, like art, are in the eyes of the beholder.

The bottom line is that if you choose to inhibit yourself & let others dictate your actions based on fear of rejection then you will live a life controlled by others. Someone disagreeing with you is nothing more than the expression of an opinion which you have the right to acknowledge or ignore. And if anyone gets too opinionated or malicious towards another, all they have to do is report it or one of the Mods will see it and they WILL be issued a warning.

I replied to a new member a couple days ago, by the time I got home from work, the whole post was gone as was the member. I was and still am concerned, as it sounds like she was in a bit of a situation with a spirit haunting her home. I hope she and her children are OK.

NoctemAeternus wrote:I appreciate this post and your intent behind it, I do.

However, I can't help but feel offended that you seem to be conveying none of us are doing anything of worth. That nobody has been making an effort...

You have only really become active again recently (I'm very happy to see you posting, you've been missed), so I have to say you must have missed a lot of the efforts made around here.
Just because it is currently in a state yourself and others disagree with, does not mean it's been neglected all this time. Some things really can't be helped; there are those of us who do as much as we can to set things in the right direction..and I agree with the encouragement of others to be as involved, but the point stands that there are members actively working at this..not only yourself.

And, honestly, I don't see as much trouble in how things are as some do. But that is neither here nor there, as long as the awareness exists that people are doing what they can to make this place great in the new era it's entered.
Nothing will stay the same forever, that's just life. We will never have it back to the way it was years ago because the numbers have inflated, progression has happened, and things are concretely different. This weighs in to what you perceive as a major change. Everyone is going to take it differently depending on what they are familiar with, and their outlook.

I support this statement completely....The only thing that I have to add is that recently, I think the Forum has become very lively and that is a good thing.

Also, arguement when it is Socratic is always good. I assume that most people know who Socrates was/is....also the roman orator Cicero......We have models for things that can interract very well with our own personalities....

Cheers,
Caiyros

I replied to a new member a couple days ago, by the time I got home from work, the whole post was gone as was the member. I was and still am concerned, as it sounds like she was in a bit of a situation with a spirit haunting her home. I hope she and her children are OK.

All things happen for a reason, unfortunately not all times an explanation can be made public. There's still plenty of newbies who need help

Oh yes, that post - am hoping that it was genuine but removed for the safety perhaps of others who tried to help, maybe, possibly, could you give me a hint, or even a nod? I don't know, seems like anybody who intervened, although they did physically, were, for a lack of better word, haunted. I am going to go with this. I want to believe she was telling the truth.

creepyhollows wrote:This entire situation could be resolved by simply reading my stickied post "This is an open forum" in the Messages & Updates category.

In my personal opinion, I feel that the atmosphere around here is quite pleasant and conducive to those who wish to participate to do so. However, perception & opinion, like art, are in the eyes of the beholder.

The bottom line is that if you choose to inhibit yourself & let others dictate your actions based on fear of rejection then you will live a life controlled by others. Someone disagreeing with you is nothing more than the expression of an opinion which you have the right to acknowledge or ignore. And if anyone gets too opinionated or malicious towards another, all they have to do is report it or one of the Mods will see it and they WILL be issued a warning.

Love ya Magnolia, because that is so spot on!!!!

Illeana3 wrote:I replied to a new member a couple days ago, by the time I got home from work, the whole post was gone as was the member. I was and still am concerned, as it sounds like she was in a bit of a situation with a spirit haunting her home. I hope she and her children are OK.

I know Illeana, I saw that too, and wondered what the heck happened, and I figured maybe she was being helped, at least I hoped so!!!!

Ninjalovergirl, I truly do understand about what you are saying, as the last thing I really want to see is fighting on the form here, this place has been a second home, and when I checkout the form early in the morning before I leave for work, or on the weekend if hubby and I go some where, and I come back and come in here and see a lot of heated things going on, I am like wow, what the heck did I miss :insane:

I am a empath as well, so I get a very good sense of the emotions as well, but I have learned how to shield myself from feeling so much negative emotions, and if it is really bad, I will leave to post alone for awhile until things calm down, and then come back too see if it has, then I can be a little more calmer myself in posting in the post, I hope that makes sense to you

I admit that there are some posts I will stay out of, because first, it is too heated, and second and most important, I really don't know what too say, so I may bump it, to see what another's take on it would be, or will say it might be something for Magnolia or Ash to comment on, or wait for some of the older members to comment on as there are a lot of wise and caring older members here, who know exactly what they are talking about!!!!

Those members have a very nice way of being able too see things in a different light, then maybe what you or I could, and that is not a bad thing at all, it is just a way for us to look at a topic in a different way, and see it in a different light then what we may have done when we first read it, I hope that makes sense to you

I personally don't want anyone to feel offended on here and specially if they are new to this form!!!! Many of us consider this form home and yes we do want to feel safe here, and be able to express our thoughts and views without being mis-understood and or having a lot of negative thoughts directed at us!!!

However like in any close family you will have those moments when we all could be fighting among ourselves, just like brothers and sisters, and sometimes the parents have to come in and say knock that stuff off :lol:

I know, because I have raised six kids, and oh boy did they ever fight, and did I ever scratch my head at times as to whatever it was that set them all off in the first place, and then have to be the bad guy and say, knock it off or you are grounded!!!! Nobody wants to be the bad guy!!!! :lol:

So if you see a thread that you feel strongly about, don't react at first, take a break from it, read a different thread first, one that feels good to you, then when you have calmed down, come back to the thread, and then maybe you can post how you feel in a more calming way, I hope that makes sense!!!!

Sometimes I will come across a post in which I have no idea how to reply, sometimes I will say something funny, because yes I do use humor a lot, it is my nature to do so, or I will give the post a bump in hopes that someone wiser and more knowing will come along to give a good answer, it doesn't mean I don't care, because I do care, and will want to know the answer as well

I do however try my best when I am here to welcome all the new ones and try my best to make them feel at home, because this is a family and we are all here to learn more about our spirits and the path that we are all on!!!!

So here is a big old for you in wanting this place to feel like a home away from home to you :thumbup:

Ahhh...you see some of the older ones have said some very good things, like Noc. and caiyross!!!! You have to see with opened eyes and an opened mind!!!! Also I do agree this form has become a lot more active, and really it is a lot calmer in here then what it use to be, but I believe we all will have our good times and bad times, it is a part of growing, and it is a fact of life here and anywhere!!!

And there is the answer to the question about the post that went missing and I figured it was being taken care of and it wasn't something that we need not know about at this time, which I do completely understand!!!! Thanks Magnolia!!!

starfire :dragons:: :kistune:

I have to just say that I have been very careful what I've responded to and curtailed some of my participation because of a topic I was involved with a few months ago I was bashed. The person bashing felt he had the greater experience and had the right to do the bashing because of his training and experiences without taking into consideration my opinion was just that ... my opinion and experiences ... and I just wanted to help.

I still read posts and when it's relatively noncontroversial I might make a post. As a couple of others have said, I am also empathic, but I don't let that stand in the way. I've had to deal with it all my life ... sometimes with good results, some not so good.

But I am very hesitant to put myself out there again. I hate to say it but I don't feel safe on this forum. Maybe in time I can feel differently.

But I am very hesitant to put myself out there again. I hate to say it but I don't feel safe on this forum. Maybe in time I can feel differently.

As I've said many times, you let one person control you. How many others did you help? How many others read what you had to say and agreed with you? Probably more than you know. Many read & agree, but don't always post. It's certainly up to you if you let one person's actions set forth your entire path hereon within this community. For myself, I would never give one power that much power over my actions or my behavior. You have to be true to yourself, and to hell with anyone who has opinions otherwise. Opinions are opinions, and the world is full of people who will disagree with you, and some who will disagree for the sake of loving an argument.

Thanks, Magnolia, for the reply to my post. I understand what you are saying about letting one person have control. By controlling my contact, I don't feel like I've given up my control to someone else. I am a control freak -- hahahahaha! Rather, I feel I'm taking control of how much negativity I allow into my life. I have always walked the path where I think about things before I let them out of my mouth or my fingers. I consider the effect what I say might have on the other person -- will it hurt them more than they've hurt me, do I really need to continue a discussion where the person says this is my opinion and I'm entitled to it and nothing you can ever say will change my mind or make me more tolerant and less abrasive and I know better than you and can help this person better than you, is what I share going to be positive or negative. Once something is released either by writing or saying it out loud it can't be taken back. I always prefer being positive; I have too much negative from the job I do 9+ hours a day. Life is just too doggone short! If I feel I can help, I'll add my two cents.

I certainly want you to know how much I appreciate all the efforts you and Ash put into the Forum and the entire site and all the bindings and other items you bring to us. I admire greatly both of your dedication, knowledge and commitment. Thank you.