ninjalovergirl wrote:... Stuff like this is why I cannot be here any more, at least, a lot of the time. I just want to get this thread closed off first. I hope you understand.

..so be it! :thumbup:
the CH doors are always open , so come/leave as you please...
:

Tolerance goes both ways. It doesn't only mean be more open to others' opinions, it also means try not to take offense so easily when you don't have concrete proof that someone is attacking you. This is the internet, we only read words, we don't have tone of voice to help us figure out what others mean with their words. If someone starts calling you names it's normal to be offended, but other than that sometimes you can perceive a comment made as harsh when this was not the poster's intention.
I don't personally see the the problem you see, therefore I cannot do anything to fix it because to me there's nothing that needs fixing, but I believe it would help if someone feels he's attacked but it's not 100% obvious in the post where they are attacked to write someone like "I'm merely sharing my opinion, I don't see a reason for this attack" or something like that, without lashing back. This gives the other person the chance-if the original post was not meant to be an attack- to clarify their stance and apologize. If they don't and continue the same behavior then you can report the insulting post.
If someone feels attacked but does not express it right then and there because of fear then they will never know if it was an intentional attack or a misunderstanding. If the person that feels offended does not come forward and say so respectfully then it's not the forum's fault, it's the particular members' lack of social skills to handle something like that and it probably is a problem for that person in other aspects of their life, for if you can't stand up for yourself online (especially maintaining a respectful attitude while you do so) I don't see how you can stand up for yourself when you are face to face with someone. This last paragraph is obviously not directed at you, since you are the one who posted about the problem that you see, but to all the members you say feel too intimidated to post.

OK......
First off, I am the friend Lionox was defending. I've reread about a dozen times and I truly feel she did so with her usual grace including an apology. I also reread my own posts, bewildered at what could have been misconstrued as aggression because I just don't roll that way. I didn't see any, but as Noc pointed out, you can't read tone in text, and in that spirit, I apologize that you felt attacked.

Secondly, to all the forumers scratching their heads, I extend my heartfelt apologies to you. You all are the family and friends of my paranormal world and I can share with you things I cant with the outside world. I value all of you (including you ninjagirl) highly.

I've meditated on this and here's the conclusion I've come to. Ninjalovergirl, I see a young, intelligent woman who's coming into some abilities with strong emotions attached. As a result, you're all over the place. A lot of us have been there before. Some of us may have forgotten what it's like to be hit with these feelings left right and center and not know what to do with them. I understand, I honestly do.

Here's my proposal for youninjalovergirl: let's ask magnolia to expedite a blog for you. My hb works nights starting tomorrow for six nights. I'm in the UK so I'm 5-8 hours ahead of you if you're in the us. I will dedicate my next six nights to you. Write in your blog. I will be there to listen, offer hints and tips on shielding, or just general chit chat. It's up to you. Say whatever you want, I'll be your sounding board. Maybe if we work through some issues you can find peace. If that is not private enough, maybe we can use the chat here? I'll hijack my kids computer.

You are family, even if we may not see eye to eye on everything. I'm here for you and my offer is genuine.

WOW..Cheese ! your offer isn't just genuine..it's one of a kind !!! :jawdrop::
you must be the most patient person in the world, with nerves of steel...
I bow my head in awe ! :yes::

creepyhollows wrote:Ninja, to be frank, I think the frustration of those responding is that they don't see a problem, and you keep insisting there IS a problem. I was a bit taken aback when I saw your original post as well. I haven't seen any big forum fights, any big drama threads, or any clique wars in a long time.

In my opinion, the majority of the people who come here are capable of coming & posting with little to no interference with their participation. If you're just talking about some members who've left then there's more to the story with some of them, and others (as you've likely seen many "I'm back" threads) go and return at a later date.

As for disagreements, they're unavoidable. If the fear of rejection is enough to make you or anyone else stop posting then that is the true problem, not the person disagreeing with you. A disagreement, or difference of opinion is natural in a group. Disrespect to members is not tolerated though and if a disagreement advances beyond merely that into name calling or belittling then it carries a price of potentially being banned.

Overall though, I think the reason people are disagreeing with you is because they don't see what you see going on here.

Yes, to be perfectly honest (and I'm tuning into this a bit late so haven't really followed all 8 pages but mostly skimmed), having been here almost a year, I've seen way worse and lately things have been on an upswing... I feel the same as Noc. There will always be head-butting in a forum where differing ideologies are given free reign to speak up but that's the beauty of CH... it doesn't endorse one ideology over another, and we're all free to butt heads at will And frankly, maybe I kinda like the head-butting, so long as it's respectfully done... sometimes you need someone to butt you out of your comfort zone before you'll be open to a different point of view. In fact, I started completely closed to the idea of DA but the other members here have taught me so much and challenged me to look at it from their perspective.

NoctemAeternus wrote:Oooohhhh boy...
I had more to say, but will refrain.

What I will say, is this...

I think what we are ALL forgetting..
is that this
is
THE INTERNET.

Just remember, tones, no..they are NOT easy to distinguish here. Welcome to technology. A lot of negativity could be perceived when there is no such thing, misinterpretation and misunderstanding weighs in a lot. It's not all about intolerance, sometimes we think someone has said potato when they really meant tomato.
And sometimes we want it to be a potato because it gives us a reason to b*tch or let off pent up steam. And sometimes it is a potato, but it's wiser to let it be.
We can't all have tomatoes; but it's better to live with potatoes than just have ketchup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You know?
I hope you do know.

That is all.

Yep, it's the internet... and what you see here is like 2 percent of what it's like on other forums. We co-exist pretty well together for such a diverse crowd... :dancing:

Terror Misu wrote:

NoctemAeternus wrote:Oooohhhh boy...
I had more to say, but will refrain.

What I will say, is this...

I think what we are ALL forgetting..
is that this
is
THE INTERNET.

Just remember, tones, no..they are NOT easy to distinguish here. Welcome to technology. A lot of negativity could be perceived when there is no such thing, misinterpretation and misunderstanding weighs in a lot. It's not all about intolerance, sometimes we think someone has said potato when they really meant tomato.
And sometimes we want it to be a potato because it gives us a reason to b*tch or let off pent up steam. And sometimes it is a potato, but it's wiser to let it be.
We can't all have tomatoes; but it's better to live with potatoes than just have ketchup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You know?
I hope you do know.

That is all.

Yep, it's the internet... and what you see here is like 2 percent of what it's like on other forums. We co-exist pretty well together for such a diverse crowd... :dancing:

Cheese that is a very beautiful offer!

And it is tolerant, but only when it isn't controversial to this particular forum. Before it still had it's problems, but not like this. I am saying that it's OK for people to be quiet and not make waves if they want to, but it isn't OK for them to not want to do it because they don't feel safe, are scared to voice them. There is a difference. And it happens here. More than it did before. But I shouldn't have to stay off of CH for a few years just so people can eventually be peaceful to one another. It actually would help if they had help to understand this too. Because then some big changes can happen. Positive ones, become closer, as everyone would work together, not against each other until they eventually realize it isn't good to do so, as it is causing a lot of negativity, because they are doing something they shouldn't. Being negative to fellow CH members, instead of working together.

Ninja, I just don't see this nor do I really understand it. I can use myself as an example. I speak my mind, even if it isn't popular. It hasn't made me popular but I'd rather be true to myself and speak up when I feel it's warranted. Have people lashed out? Yes, yes they have. I've taken the full brunt of it and been at the center of controversy. I've taken unpopular stances. Still, I'm here... cus I don't care what other people think. Some people like me, others don't care for me. Such is life. Do I let the people who dislike me control my ability to post when and where? HECK NO. It's like Magnolia said, you can't let other people control your self-expression.

Now, I keep seeing this reference to being afraid to speak up because of an inability to handle what others say... I don't mean to be rude here, far from it, but may I gently point out that CH interactions are taking place in front of one's computer in the privacy of one's own home? And if one can't speak up within those parameters, what is it like offline in the real world? If anything, it should be far easier to be one's authentic self... such a setup provides an outlet for most shy and introverted people... so I find myself questioning the psyche of someone who is terrified to share their opinions EVEN ON THE INTERNET.

I'm a supporter of yours, and have seen some of your other posts so please do not take offense to these words. What I am saying here is that you cannot control what others do or say at any given time, their behaviors or actions, but you can control yourself... so rather than be afraid, set the example you want to see in the forum and supporters like myself will follow suit. 2cents

Terror Misu wrote:

And it is tolerant, but only when it isn't controversial to this particular forum. Before it still had it's problems, but not like this. I am saying that it's OK for people to be quiet and not make waves if they want to, but it isn't OK for them to not want to do it because they don't feel safe, are scared to voice them. There is a difference. And it happens here. More than it did before. But I shouldn't have to stay off of CH for a few years just so people can eventually be peaceful to one another. It actually would help if they had help to understand this too. Because then some big changes can happen. Positive ones, become closer, as everyone would work together, not against each other until they eventually realize it isn't good to do so, as it is causing a lot of negativity, because they are doing something they shouldn't. Being negative to fellow CH members, instead of working together.

Ninja, I just don't see this nor do I really understand it. I can use myself as an example. I speak my mind, even if it isn't popular. It hasn't made me popular but I'd rather be true to myself and speak up when I feel it's warranted. Have people lashed out? Yes, yes they have. I've taken the full brunt of it and been at the center of controversy. I've taken unpopular stances. Still, I'm here... cus I don't care what other people think. Some people like me, others don't care for me. Such is life. Do I let the people who dislike me control my ability to post when and where? HECK NO. It's like Magnolia said, you can't let other people control your self-expression.

Now, I keep seeing this reference to being afraid to speak up because of an inability to handle what others say... I don't mean to be rude here, far from it, but may I gently point out that CH interactions are taking place in front of one's computer in the privacy of one's own home? And if one can't speak up within those parameters, what is it like offline in the real world? If anything, it should be far easier to be one's authentic self... such a setup provides an outlet for most shy and introverted people... so I find myself questioning the psyche of someone who is terrified to share their opinions EVEN ON THE INTERNET.

I'm a supporter of yours, and have seen some of your other posts so please do not take offense to these words. What I am saying here is that you cannot control what others do or say at any given time, their behaviors or actions, but you can control yourself... so rather than be afraid, set the example you want to see in the forum and supporters like myself will follow suit. 2cents

"YOU GO GURL ! !" CHEERS !
C-