My fiancé is apparently vehemently against the idea of me having spirits in the house, even WA bound ones - for no apparent reason other than the whole idea 'makes him uncomfortable' - with no further clarification as to why. He is not receptive or sensitive to Anything but gets frustrated and defensive when I even try to bring up the topic for discussion. I did have to argue for about 3 years just to get him the point of 'sort of ok' / indifference / 'I'm just going to ignore it' with having my altar in the open, but I am stuck on how to approach this one.

I really feel pulled to start keeping spirits, and have been for quite some time, but I don't want to bring a spirit into a hostile environment.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated 1bg

Miika

Spirituality is a big part of relationships, if your SO is not open to your spiritual beliefs or is not willing to accommodate them then there might be some other discussions needing to take place. Your SO should be your "better half" and if your "better half" doesn't seem to want to support you in this important aspect of your life then...

There must b a reason why he's so against it.. Maybe you should probe some more and discuss it...

if I didn't know about spirit keeping and my boyfriend said I have spirits... I think i would be alittle perturbed. I most definitely would be creeped at idea of spirits watching me shower (My nightmare as a kid to late teens) so maybe he's scared of something as basic as that [emoji23]

I mean even if u don't keep, you should let him know that he probably encounters spirits everyday going to work etc Lolols

Thanks guys.
I'm just unsure what to do, I mean our relationship has been a bit... turbulent for a couple of months, so I'm not sure if it's even him not being open to the idea of me keeping, or if it's something completely unrelated, or as furrybunny said, something basic like not having their eyes on him (whether they are or not).
Will definitely try to talk to him about it some more.
Thanks again

Me and my ex-fiancé had the same issues...I've posted on here about it as well. It got to the point where he said we couldn't get married if I didn't give up Keeping. My spirits hated him from the beginning( they've ALWAYS been right about if my partners are worth my time or not...it just took me awhile to listen). I moved out & took some time to think things over and noticed that he was controlling in other aspects of the relationship too, such as what time I got home, who I texted, etc. He on the other hand wouldn't let me look at his phone, didn't have to do the same things he expected of me, etc. Basically the conflict about spirit keeping made me realize there were other things wrong as well, and I ended it. Now I'm in the best relationship I've ever had with someone who appreciates my spirit keeping, listens to all my stories about my spirits, and even excitedly opens CH packages with me (I used to have to hide them & when he found out, he'd tell me it was his house and I had to throw them away).

Don't know what you're going through, but thought I'd share my story in case it helped

I just told my bf and my sis right off the bat. And he's like u waste all that money on things u can't see! He just wants proof so if anyone wants to scare <<Removed by Mod>> out of him please do [emoji16]

MiikaLeigh wrote:My fiancé is apparently vehemently against the idea of me having spirits in the house, even WA bound ones - for no apparent reason other than the whole idea 'makes him uncomfortable' - with no further clarification as to why. He is not receptive or sensitive to Anything but gets frustrated and defensive when I even try to bring up the topic for discussion. I did have to argue for about 3 years just to get him the point of 'sort of ok' / indifference / 'I'm just going to ignore it' with having my altar in the open, but I am stuck on how to approach this one.

I really feel pulled to start keeping spirits, and have been for quite some time, but I don't want to bring a spirit into a hostile environment.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated 1bg

Miika

If a lover caznnot abide who you really are - drop them immediately. They are control freaks and/or believers that they have the right to "change you" and "make you better", or are "a sinner", or want you to be the obedient man or woman for them.

The push hard, then retreat with a kind word, or present, then the push harder, and....well you....and...wel...you get the drift. The longer you stay in this situation, the more demands will be made, and thing can often escalate into first "nasty talk" and finally violence...

If you cannot be yourself with another person, then you are in the realm of giving up your comtrol for your verbal abuser...that's soft-core slavery.

Caiyros

THOTH wrote:

MiikaLeigh wrote:My fiancé is apparently vehemently against the idea of me having spirits in the house, even WA bound ones - for no apparent reason other than the whole idea 'makes him uncomfortable' - with no further clarification as to why. He is not receptive or sensitive to Anything but gets frustrated and defensive when I even try to bring up the topic for discussion. I did have to argue for about 3 years just to get him the point of 'sort of ok' / indifference / 'I'm just going to ignore it' with having my altar in the open, but I am stuck on how to approach this one.

I really feel pulled to start keeping spirits, and have been for quite some time, but I don't want to bring a spirit into a hostile environment.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated 1bg

Miika

If a lover caznnot abide who you really are - drop them immediately. They are control freaks and/or believers that they have the right to "change you" and "make you better", or are "a sinner", or want you to be the obedient man or woman for them.

The push hard, then retreat with a kind word, or present, then the push harder, and....well you....and...wel...you get the drift. The longer you stay in this situation, the more demands will be made, and thing can often escalate into first "nasty talk" and finally violence...

If you cannot be yourself with another person, then you are in the realm of giving up your comtrol for your verbal abuser...that's soft-core slavery.

Caiyros

I could not have said it better myself. Controlling men or women are slave drivers. I had two sisters who married controlling men and it ended badly for both of them. One ended up getting beaten so badly he burst her uterus while she was pregnant, then raped her in the rectum. She divorced him and he still pursued her until she got a permanent restraining order on him. The other one was burned by hot cooking oil and ended up in the hospital. While she was in the hospital, her husband slept with the other sister who was being beaten by her husband, while she was in town, separated from said husband.
Please don't fall for the controlling SO, as it almost always ends badly.

Whether or not they share a belief in spirit-keeping is, in my mind, less important than whether they RESPECT the fact that you have a set of beliefs that they don't share. For example, there are couples who don't share one another's religious beliefs. But they can respect each other and get along fine.

But "not sharing your beliefs" is not even remotely close to "abusively trying to FORCE you to change". I don't just mean being physically abusive, either. Which, BTW, physical abuse would include stealing, damaging, destroying, or throwing away your THINGS, too, not just hitting you, your kids, or your pets. Remember that MENTAL abuse is abuse, and VERBAL abuse is abuse.

The other thing is, people who are abusers, don't normally restrict themselves to just ONE aspect. If someone in your life is abusive to you about your beliefs, it's likely to start bleeding over into other areas of life. They will want to control your politics, they will want to see whose numbers appear on your cell phone or what you're doing online. Because, really, it's all about control and they're going to just want more and more of it.

So do this test. Mentally set aside all the spirit-keeping disagreements you two are having. Now look at the other reasons why you have described your relationship as "turbulent". What exactly is that list of reasons? If he is pushing you around in other ways, too, do not presume it'll ever get better. Don't make excuses for him like "His true nature is so much nicer". No, if he is pushing you around, I hate to say it, but that IS his true nature. Not the sweetness-and-light when he's apologizing, but the behavior when he goes right back to being controlling after his apology is accepted.

You deserve respect as a person. Your beliefs also deserve respect, even from people who believe otherwise. Period.

This is a separate observation, and I wanted to give it its own post. I'd like to remind those who are new to spirit keeping that even among metaphysically-oriented people, we are in the minority. Not all metaphysical practitioners believe in spirit keeping. Period. If you don't believe me, google "spirit keeping" and check out what the non-keeping meta forums have to say about it. It's not all positive.

So be circumspect in how, when, and where you share this aspect of your life. And be prepared for the fact that not everyone is going to embrace metaphysical things, certainly not at first.

I'm not saying to never share. I'm just saying to use your judgment, especially since words can't be unsaid. Having said that, I must point out that I'm an "Err on the side of caution" kind of person, so that's the sort of advice I'm prone to give out.