Death spell

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Anteros
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You are...: in the learning process
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Number of Spirits: 200
Spelled Number: 400
If I could be anything, I would be...: My True Self
My super power would be...: Read other's minds
Zodiac:

Drake wrote:That would basically be assisted suicide, which is illegal in a lot of places. It is really not something you should be asking about or something people would be offering.
On the other hand, if you're looking for someone to talk to, I would suggest help lines if those are available. Barring that, I am sure there are a people around here who would be glad to lend a ear if you need it.

If you're looking for a private place to talk to someone there is paraecho, which is an extension of this site where people can contact you.
https://www.paraecho.com

Just be careful about posting personal information.
Well said Drake!!!

Nirvana,
May I suggest you talk to somebody, anybody, sometimes strangers can be best as their is less "awkwardness" in opening up to what the real issue is that is troubling a person.
In my experience of life and human behaviour and emotions the most important question to always ask oneself is not : Who...what...where...when...how? But WHY?!!!
When we examine ourselves and I have done this....it can be painful for sure but when we are completely honest with ourselves as to our character traits, our weaknesses our petty hates or our fears the real question that gets to the bottom of things is always (to me anyway) "Why?"

It can be applied to any situation.
I'm so sad! The first answers to the "why" question might be something like :
"because my partner dumped me/cheated on me" etc.....my best friend isn't such a friend after all and I am so upset. I feel betrayed etc.
These are all valid feelings.....but we must go beyond these emotions which are really "triggers" to our responses.
That is where the real "why" comes in to help us get to the bottom of ourselves.
Why do we feel so upset? I am upset because......the answer isn't because our friend betrayed us....that is only the outer reason...the real reason is something deeper inside us that might make us feel weak for example....vulnerable....scared it will happen again.....that is what we must face and confront and when we do....like facing all fears, they then have no power over us.

I fully understand it is easy for me to write this now and it won't bring you much comfort at this point in time but please analyse yourself and even write down the things that make you feel this way.

Choose the main subjects that make you feel you don't want to be in this world anymore and then have sub sections underneath each one, attempting to narrow it down further and further until we reach the core of the matter...the real "why" as to why we feel like this or like that.

It works the other way as well....... and can help us see what real relationships are instead of the gloss that many cling to to make themselves feel better about themselves......IE: I am so in love with X!!! Really? Why?

They will answer they are so kind, loving etc....which is all good of course.....but what if there are other deeper reasons that are mistaken for "love".

Is he/she very handsome/beautiful (yes thats great of course lol) but does that somehow compensate for any sense of inferiorty in ourselves?

Do we wish to "own" them......this person belongs to me!! A desire to fill a gap in our oen character...jealousy of attention from others that may weaken our position with the beloved one. And we call it "love".

When we can honestly answer these questions to ourself then we become stronger characters and less prone to "suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" as Shakespeare wrote!!!

Easier said than done of course.....and I have been in this trap myself more than once :)))) as have most people I think.

As I said above....this can be very painful but it is cathartic....if done honestly it will probably bring out buckets of tears and rage but when it has subsided you will have taken a ton weight off your shoulders and the morning will be much brighter for you!!!

Trust me....I have done it!!!!

In the catholic sense...it is the ultimate "confession".....only you don't need a priest.....just self honesty....you are your own God.....talk to yourself!! "Confess" your fears and weaknesses and the stronger you that is waiting inside....the real you, will be born and come out into the daylight!!!

It is most important not to judge yourself by observing other people.....that is a never ending path to misery.....let them get on with it......you get on with becoming a "new you" that will have a brighter tomorrow.

I wrote in the quote thread:

"The past has no future....but you do"!!!!!

Sorry for rambling

Blessings to you xx


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Hysteria
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If I could be anything, I would be...: upside down
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I went through a bout of depression and I truly believe it's one of the rawest forms of catharsis, you are literally stripping the world of all prior meaning in order to rebuild it with more authentic of energies. There are many hidden doors that lie within the realms of mental states, doors that wouldn't be recognized otherwise, take advantage of this mindset, awareness and observation can go a long way.

You know when you take a picture and invert the colors? You're seeing something entirely new, yet in essence it's the same thing, this is what the mind does... it warps, distorts, inverts, negates all that surrounds us until we no longer know that which is real and that which is illusion. When you recognize this you can work off of the distortions to gain a better understanding of not only yourself but of the greater whole as well.

Just keep in mind.. death isn't an escape, there is no such thing as "escape", it's some sort of conceptual coping mechanism, we're stuck in this eternal continuum no matter what, occupying separate levels of it at any point in time. What you don't fix on this level of existence you'll have to fix on another, there is no easy way to deal with whatever it is you're dealing with, acknowledge that and work with the difficulties, you will grow far stronger than you could have ever thought possible.


into my diamond matrix.....
Nirvana123
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wow thank you so much!! especially to sunseeker lunare and anteros!!
I feel a bit better for the time being! I think my true therapy is writing (unfortunately i can not earn any money with it)- which is another reason why i really want to die-
but who knows, maybe death hasnt come yet, so i can still try to believe in my purpose here.
sometimes i just feel that my future will be anyway very dark (its not that i have a negative mind set, not only), but just being realistic, as i do have some debts etc and i also fear of becoming homeless eventually or ending up again in mental hospital (where i have been before). but if that is my destiny i probably also have to endure it... hell is inside of me, i just dont want it to also become more outside of me (as this world is already so dark and negative)... i used to be a quite spiritual person until i ended up in a cult that only wanted to have my money and i got afraid of the "light" again... although all i really want is to be in the light... (i have had close to deth experiences before and i know how wonderful it is to be at "home"), and how difficult it is to be here on earth... so the more we are in the love and light, the easier it gets, but at the same time if we are too sensitive we can also attract a lot of darkness or people misusing us and feeding from our light with their negativites. And now i can feel that i have become myself a bit like that.. which i really dont want to be.. cause i do have some people who are in the light and they try to push me back to life,but they cant really see how messed up my life is and i feel i really drain their energy... them trying to help me vs. me only being grumpy and unable to let go of the fear as i am just being realistic and seeing the dark future right in front of me....

but thanks a lot guys! i got some really good and precious imput here from you !!
xx


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Ashino Tsume roshi
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You are...: a master
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Spelled Number: 200
Your favorite spirit to work with: Human
If I could be anything, I would be...: A Galactic Executive
My super power would be...: X-Ray Vision
My magical/paranormal name...: Durga Suta Putra
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EVERY NOW & THEM PEOPLE HERE DISAGREE AND AT ALL TIMES THERE IS AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF LOVE HERE AND RESPECT.

MANY YEARS AGO, WHILE VERY SUCCESSFUL, DUE TO DEPRESSION I BECAME VERY WEIRD, AND DEPRESSED, BUT IT DID GO AWAY BY TALKING TO OTHERS WHO UNDERSTOOD AND SUPPORTED ME.AND THINGS HAVE STAYED NICE EVERY SINCE.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE & THINGS WILL GET BETTER.

Caiyros


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darkwing dook
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Caiyros Arlen media wrote:EVERY NOW & THEM PEOPLE HERE DISAGREE AND AT ALL TIMES THERE IS AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF LOVE HERE AND RESPECT.

MANY YEARS AGO, WHILE VERY SUCCESSFUL, DUE TO DEPRESSION I BECAME VERY WEIRD, AND DEPRESSED, BUT IT DID GO AWAY BY TALKING TO OTHERS WHO UNDERSTOOD AND SUPPORTED ME.AND THINGS HAVE STAYED NICE EVERY SINCE.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE & THINGS WILL GET BETTER.

Caiyros
Agree with this:)

We can be weird, but we don't have to be depressed about it, and certainly no need to be lonely because of it:)


"Often the truth is in front of your face, but your eyes and heart are so full of lies that you can't see it." Shannon L. Alder

"May you live in interesting times, may you be recognized by people in high places, may you find what you’re looking for."
Nirvana123
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thank you yes.. it sounds a bit though as if depression was a choice :), which is not the case ... it is soething that can be from the outside or from the inside or both, but hard to just say: ok im not depressed...
yes i agree... talking to others helps a lot!! at the same time i dont always want to be the little whiny girl...but anyway i trust there still must be some purpose here for me, otherwise i would not be here, right? :) thanks guys!! you are great!


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Ashino Tsume roshi
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You are...: a master
Male/Female: Male
Number of Spirits: 1000
Spelled Number: 200
Your favorite spirit to work with: Human
If I could be anything, I would be...: A Galactic Executive
My super power would be...: X-Ray Vision
My magical/paranormal name...: Durga Suta Putra
Zodiac:

Your clarity of speech and your courage to openly are great. I am a writer who would like to see and read what you have written.

Cheers,
Caiyros


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Number of Spirits: 36
Spelled Number: 47
Your favorite spirit to work with: Servitors
If I could be anything, I would be...: Dragon
My super power would be...: Ability to shape-shift
My magical/paranormal name...: kelistarian
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You can make money through writing, as Caiyros said, I would love to see some of your writings.


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"I may be a Construct, But I Feel, Love, and Want. Does That Not Make Me A Living Being?"

"7 Years Have Gone, It Can No Longer Be Left Undone
The Candle Must Be Burn Again, And Pain
Must Follow the Unholy Flame
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Zero
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My super power would be...: Ability to shape-shift
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I saw this posted on another website, and thought of this thread...

"This may be a sad chapter, but that doesn't mean you're a sad book."


I will tell you such foul truths and such beautiful lies, you will want to sew my lips shut.

Can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?
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Anteros
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You are...: in the learning process
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Number of Spirits: 200
Spelled Number: 400
If I could be anything, I would be...: My True Self
My super power would be...: Read other's minds
Zodiac:

Zero wrote:I saw this posted on another website, and thought of this thread...

"This may be a sad chapter, but that doesn't mean you're a sad book."
That's a great quote !!!!
The book can have a happy ending 1ht

And Nirvana....I don't know how old you are but politics aside ( as it's all corrupted anyway at the upper levels) I think this is a great remark from President Nixon in his resignation speech:

"Only when you have been in the deepest valley can you appreciate how magnificent it is to stand on the highest mountain"!!!

Those are such wise words and they apply to all of us....one day you will look back on this dark chapter of your life and smile :) .....believe me you will !!!!!
Because having gone through this vale of tears you will appreciate fully all the positive things that this life will bring you!!


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