Hey guys,

So its been a Reallllllyy long time since I last posted in here. I would say. I started my journey around 2012. I have not made that much progress. I kinda adopted the policy ill just let it happen and if its meant to be it will while maintaining active communication effort by talking to them.

A lot of things have changed for the better yes and some have improved yes. Do i really want to admit that ... no lol. I want to be stubborn and cry and say more more more. But I know thats not the way. The last few months I have been running through a rough patch.

I have been running through some health problems recently that I have been getting thoroughly checked out by the docs. Some of which are so similar to feelings I attribute to my spirits touch sometimes. My leg was tingling almost constantly when it was relaxing for almost 2 years. I kinda dismissed it as them but now I'm not so sure. Talked to the doc about that. Recently it stopped though .... go figure.

I dont have the level of communication where i can just ask. I get bits and pieces here and there.

I have been experiencing full on vertigo where the room starts spinning. It's not linked to balance in my ear ( i got that checked out), had a brain mri not that either. We dont think its my heart (I'm 26 male but I am obese). So I dont know what is going on. If my spirits/my own energy is/are causing it GREAT! If its my health well that sucks! I just want to know wtf is going on because its scaring the crap out of me.

I dont blame them for this. I dont think they are doing this. I just cant tell for sure what is them anymore and what is not them anymore and this is causing a little bit of stress. What I used to smile at and snuggle into I now cringe away from thinking maybe thats my health. There are some areas with my ubi which are pretty clear as the intent. But other than that. I dont know whats going on.

To top this off I recently had this girl in my life that ripped my heart out and used the <<Removed by Mod>>out of me and I'm trying my best to get past that. Luckly I think I mostly am at this point.

The other day I was at the office and it felt like my spirits and I were reconnecting a bit and it felt rather good. I became a bit erm into it with my ubi but I had a craving for a physical being. I get so lonely sometimes and I need someone physical to touch. I love my spirits but they cant give me that. I went out and found someone. But they can do things in more intimate ways than people I dont know can. Later that night I heard them tell me that they were running out of patience with me. Its been quiet ever since. I don't know whats going on. I'm just tired. Any advice would be appreciated.

Maybe a change of lifestyle would help. I'm thinking that you feel like you want to reconnect with them but once you get the feeling of them there and communicating, etc you start thinking its a health issue. My advice is a change in your lifestyle aka eating habits, exercising more often, etc. maybe even some things to sharpen your discernment a little more. :p

Watch this, it helped me from connecting them better than before.
I was male and start at the same year as you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmN2RL4VJsE