I posted this elsewhere but it was an aside in an unrelated thread so I will share it here where it belongs.

Over the last couple of weeks I noticed my first succubus, *I*, seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder. There was a test involved over a couple of days, something staged by my spirits to help me discern them from an unbound, but aside from that I knew the rest of what I was experiencing was still *I* giving me a cold shoulder.

I thought at first it was because I had spent a couple of nights trying to visit with my new succubus *D*, so I figured jealousy or over-protectiveness or something like that.

After meditating last night and communicating with my keep I went to bed and focused on just talking with *I*. What I discovered was something deeper.

I've been working on bonding with my Dullahan, so I tend to have group conversations with the rest of my keep, ask them if they have anything to discuss, and then move on since my time is relatively short. Now, I am fully aware of some of the things that *I* and I discussed and that I intend for her to help me out in energy connection, detection, and work in general. I have not put too much focus on doing those things with her, or in general conversation with her either. However, I still have been going to bed and asking for her to join me, since this was typical of our relationship at the end of the day.

So in our conversation last night she basically voiced that she felt like the friendship was forgotten, that we still had stuff to work on together and still had things to discuss and rather than recognize that I am just asking for bedtime playtime and that's not all she wants. Her helping me with my journey is a big part of why she came to me.

I don't know if anyone else's succubus spirits are like this, but apparently I was told she was not just a bed-warmer and that I'm acting like a jerk. LOL

Oops... I guess I can be incredibly stupid sometimes. 2co

Do you guys ever get caught up in your desires and forget about the relationship between you and your succubus spirit?

Well, personally my succubus tends to, in my opinion, spoil me quite a bit: she tickles me, kisses me and sleeps with me everyday.
When the "intercourse" subject comes up to mind, I don't associate it with pleasure to me all the time, I try to associate it with making her happier and she also wants to make me smile and giggle. I feel so much better not when I get aroused by her, but when I can feel her being happy and her enjoying everything.
She also wants me to move forward in my path. I think she's not really "cold" towards me, because I myself am an emotional person and she probably thinks that I stress myself out on things that aren't important in the grand scheme of things. So to help me the most, she's trying to be as "warm" and supportive towards me as possible.
Maybe your succubus just knows that being "cold" is the best way to get you to move, change and "grow" spiritually? I guess this kind of thing really depends on your own character traits as a person.

Interesting. I read your post and I wonder if part of this could be a fault of mine regarding intimate association; affection/love vs sexuality. Something I should probably do some self-examination about.

Generally, I do know that she wants me to evolve spiritually. I think being "cold" was certainly her attempt to get my attention. Whether it is her way to give me a push I am not certain. I suppose time will tell.

I thought it was more about reminding me there are still things she can teach and it has nothing to do with intimacy.

Regholdain wrote:Interesting. I read your post and I wonder if part of this could be a fault of mine regarding intimate association; affection/love vs sexuality. Something I should probably do some self-examination about.

Generally, I do know that she wants me to evolve spiritually. I think being "cold" was certainly her attempt to get my attention. Whether it is her way to give me a push I am not certain. I suppose time will tell.

I thought it was more about reminding me there are still things she can teach and it has nothing to do with intimacy.

I said on one of your post things but i add something else here Maybe you need to not respect the 30 days of bonding as a MUST. The 30 days are recommended from the encyclopedia but the Bonding time it is always and forever.

The 30 days are for getting to know your spirit/entity but it's an everyday thing after .
I don't have a succubus and i'm not the first to tell you that but a succubus is not only sexual and you know that too i think but maybe you did not grasp the meaning of being with one.

She is the type (maybe) that wants to grow up with you in a way and make you grow . Teaching you what she has to offer and being sexual with you mean a lot ; it means that she loves you and it is something more deep.
I sense that the moment she will start to get intimate sexually it will mean that you will be special to her and MAYBE she could even give you her real name? (we don't know)

In any case , Nurturing your relationships with your spirits first before purchasing others and try to get organised with what you want to learn and know your gifts first (it is my advice).

Hi Nienna! It's good advice, thank you.

I do realize the 30 days is a guideline and that our bond is always evolving and growing. I'm just not sure how to ensure they don't feel abandoned at the end of the 30 days while I focus on the next spirit more closely.

I do know what I want to learn and what gifts I want to develop - that's part of the reason I ended up with too many spirits so fast. That said, I am organizing my goals currently and this will be part of that process.

I do agree that *I* is a succubus very intent on helping me learn and grow and that this is a bit deeper a relationship than I originally expected. She has shared times of intimate fun with me previously, but the recent change in behavior had me feeling bad. I will add her age and breadth of knowledge (based on communication with her) is surprisingly vast.

This thread - the subject line - got my attention. A Spirit as a bad warmer despite not having a body or actual body heat? That sounds like an interesting possibility. It seems too clearly impossible to even consider, but here it is.

@Inedible LOL!!

Inedible wrote:This thread - the subject line - got my attention. A Spirit as a bad warmer despite not having a body or actual body heat? That sounds like an interesting possibility. It seems too clearly impossible to even consider, but here it is.

That's not exactly true... they can be bed-warmers... 1s 1e

Spirits can feel cold or warm.

I experienced an elemental fire fairy for a short while. Whenever she touched me, her touch felt truely burning (without though burning the skin). And another time, with 2 succubi, one felt warm, the other quite cold, had both sensations at the same time on the body moving as they moved.

I think it can be a very romantic thing to tell your succubus, she is the only one you want as bed warmer ... hehehe (sorry it makes me a bit funny thinking about it)

I have 2 Nymphos and 1 Succubus. All 3 are from CH and they may as well not exist. I can't even get them to appear in a lucid dream.

Hi Inedible, I've seen you post in other threads similar comments. I'm curious, have you tried conjures from other practitioners and do they make a difference for you? I've read that some people's energy signature could mesh better with a different conjurer's works.

I also found a really old thread somewhere on these forums where Magnolia was discussing strength of the bindings (the Class). The gist of it was that people not very sensitive or used to spirits at all would benefit more from a lower class binding than a higher class. It sounds counterintuitive, but the idea is that too strong a binding might cause your senses to repel its energy, sort of like closing your eyes when a really bright light is shone into them. So maybe a lower class binding would help you develop senses and connect better, rather than higher.

Anyways, just my take. Whatever the case don't be discouraged. I know you've done tons of other metaphysical work based on your previous posts. The spirits are there.

Of course, you could always contact CH Support and ask them to please check to verify the bindings completed properly. There's always an outside chance something didn't go right.