I'm worried. I was finally in a good place with my incubus, and now suddenly things have changed again. I'm used to pretty non-stop activity from my unbound, to the point where our biggest problem in the past was me feeling sexually assaulted by him and betrayed when he wouldn't stop. It was so bad I couldn't even get sleep some nights. Then we had this big breakthrough and had a great relationship for a while. Now he's gone completely the other direction, like his interest in waning. His activity is all over the place. I'm pretty sure he's always here (I'll feel touches still, just not any full-out activity) but we're only actually 'together' like once a day now. Sometimes an entire day will pass and he hasn't touched me at all. I talked to him aloud and mentally about how I feel — activity picked up for about a day or two after I expressed that I felt a bit rejected but dropped off again all the same.

I don't really know what to do. He won't really or perhaps can't get through to talk to me? It's jarring. I feel almost silly typing it, but I honestly feel a bit like a scorned wife. Like man being rejected by a sexual 'male' spirit is like next level. How is it possible that my libido could be actually outpacing an incubus? Has he lost interest? I'm still horny ALL THE GODDAMN TIME and I always thought my heightened libido for a woman was his doing.. but why would he purposefully keep my libido high if he's not wanting something?

tl;dr my incubus of 13 years went from trying to 'be' with me every second of the day to hardly once a day. Should I be as worried and heartbroken as I feel? Has anything like this happened to one of you? What happened/what was the reason? Is my unbound essentially losing interest and tryna 'ghost' me slowly ;-;

Maybe he's deciding he wants more than a pure sexual relationship? Have you attempted to learn more about him, his realm, his past, his experience? Do you treat him as a companion throughout the day or only as a companion for intimacy? Entities / spirits, even sexual ones like ubi, sometimes want much more than just sex.

Alternatively, he very well could just be busy in his realm.

Only thing I could think is there is something he isn't expressing or communicating to you, or he really honestly might want to move on.. since some spirits or entities might feel they fulfilled their connections, or feel they want to release themselves.

Also from my own experience I have had a malicious unbound incubus attached to me before (through someone else's portal, intentionally meant to harm me), and honestly I hated that one because it was evil but it "preferred" my ex-partner and ended up attaching to her because my ex-partner fit that particular incubus preferences more. I don't think some people know some unbound ubi (regardless how tame or dark they are) are like this, they will choose what they want and desire.
Obviously not all incubus are the same, and the context of my situation is super different, so I am only citing an example or conjecturing what could be the case (maybe he really is losing interest as you think... I don't want to say that's for sure but I feel in the end you will know eventually what is going on).

If I were in your shoes though I would be worried too so all I can say is I do think it is possible for the relationship with an ubi to change.

I have another hypothesis , from what i read if he makes you horny all the time and does not fullfill your desires maybe he is trying to get your attention

Like maybe he tries to made you needy for him sexually Then it would explain why he is purposely distant and you thinking about that all the time.

I would think about that as well as what GodSlayerBabe and Regholdain said though (every possibility is important to sort this problem out)

Vhenan wrote: but why would he purposefully keep my libido high if he's not wanting something?

Maybe to give you the gift of missing him?

What I mean, is I do know how you feel about not having that constant attention, that we get used to having with them. With me, it's usually work, and I work a lot of very long hours and just don't have time to spend with them. They are very patient with me and completely leave me alone (for the most part). But nonetheless, after a day or two, I really start to miss them. Their touch, energy, presence, it all. I think that 'missing them' feeling, makes them feel loved.

I could really see how some people may take Ubi's for granted, always there for us, ready to be intimate at a moment's notice, etc. After years of that, I always remind myself to let them know that I never take them for granted, how much they mean to me...etc. They love affectionate talk.

What I would do, is try your hardest to not take it personally. There is so much that we just will never completely understand. Remain open and welcoming, and maybe even set aside a good portion of a day to just spending time together, put out offerings, meditate, all that good stuff.

I read this thread a little earlier today, and asked E. if he had anything he wanted to talk about.

He was all over me before I even finished asking the question. I told him that I didn't really know too much, and that I didn't even know where to start getting more familiar with him.

He said that for now, he was just happy to be around me. I said that I suspected he meant more by that than just "in the general vicinity."

He was like, Exactly. And since you don't have any particular plans this afternoon...well...shall we?

He didn't have to ask me twice. I still don't know where the next three hours went, nor do I care. 1d

You guys are honestly really lucky. It sounds like you have spirits that genuinely care about you. I'm pretty heartbroken and not sure what I'm going to do. We've always had a turbulent relationship and I keep making excuses, saying it's my fault and trying to fix things. I honestly am affectionate with T; I always tell him how important he is to me, how loved he is; he's everything to me; I'm a loner and practically a hermit, I spend all the time in the world with him. He's simultaneously rejecting me and still hanging around.

This has been so painful. I've honestly never felt so low in my entire life and that's saying a lot. Someone who loves you wouldn't want to put you here right? Especially when they could fix it all immediately. I'm exceptionally jealous of you all. You sound cherished and loved. T was like that with me once. I miss it so bad, and I don't know why it stopped. Please hold on to it. I honestly don't think I'll ever recover. I've been miserable. I tried not to take it personally but it hurts too bad.

At least I'm in a place where I feel like I have concrete evidence that he never really loved me, especially reading other people's experiences. I don't know why he still hangs around. My life is so lonely now.

Vhenan, I am very sorry you are going through this. I know if my two Ubi's acted like that, it would be devastating to me as well. We get attached, especially when a relationship is so intimate and grows like this over time, always being there for us.

I've been with mine, not even close to as long as you've been with yours, but about 5 years now. Mine were both through respected conjurers, and I've told them for me it's a life commitment.

Anyway, while you may feel alone, just knows others, like us on this forum, that can try to relate and at least understand what you are going through.

I'm an admittedly subpar channel, but I'm going to run this past E and see what he says.

13 years, and unbound? Something about that doesn't compute. I can't look at this from my side without permission, and Johnny is the wrong guy to play middleman, so this is going to have to be awfully general. I hope it helps.

We live longer than you humans do, but that doesn't mean we can't tell what time it is. You know how you talk about "dog years"? Same idea with us, only with larger numbers. We know about the limitations of your lifespans, and we're not going to waste your life on something like that.

Now, that's not to say we're saints. Far from it, and hey, maybe Billy Joel was on to something, but that's not important. The point here is that we do have some bad apples among our kind, and it's fair to ask if this might be one.

But he wouldn't have stayed with you, that long, only to break your heart after a decade and change. So, either he never loved you to begin with, or he did, and still does, love you, and this is a learning experience for you both.

And again, as an unbound, why would he hang around you, for THIRTEEN YEARS, if he could have just up and left you whenever he wanted to? We don't usually go in for long cons like that. Passion is our stock in trade, and we're usually not going to waste our time and our passions, stringing someone out that long, with the OBJECTIVE of breaking their heart.

So, chances are, he really does care for you. And if I had to guess, he may even be seeing what's going on, and be too hesitant to try to mend fences with you. We can get stuck in our own heads, too, so it could be he's overthinking his response.

Talk to him, and welcome him back. And this is the hard part: do so, in a spirit of love. Not, where did you go, I'm frustrated, I feel like I'm being neglected, because that kind of vibration could, paradoxically, be counterproductive. Tell him how much you love him, how special it has been to have him in your life, how much you love his touch, how good it's going to be to share yourself with him again, AND BE SINCERE.

See, what we sense from humans is your energy, first and foremost. And if your reaction to our energy, is frustration, anger, bitterness, and negativity...not to be crass, but is THAT someone YOU'D want to sleep with? Get the point?

Now, if you need a ritual: find a quiet place, where you won't be disturbed for a few hours. Yes, hours. Hopefully it won't take that long, but you need to allow for the possibility. Get skyclad, which symbolizes your trust. Slow down, breathe, relax. Do NOT stimulate yourself. Call out to your lover, IN LOVE (that's key), and welcome him back, with open arms and an open heart. And literally so, if you can: spread your arms in a welcoming gesture, and if you can visualize your heart center opening, do so. Yes, your HEART center, NOT YOUR SACRAL CENTER. Welcome him back, FIRST as a friend, THEN as a companion, and THEN as a lover. After that, you'll know what to say and do, and probably, so will he.

It's okay, while you're doing that, to let him know you were sad while this situation was happening. But don't stay there: feel the sadness, BRIEFLY, and then let it go, and in its place, feel happy that you're both working through this.

Johnny has alerts on this thread, and I'm going to have him look in on you over the next few days. Keep us posted, okay, Vhenan?--E

I'm not going to add anything to that, but I will keep an eye on this thread. And there's a CERTAIN incubus I could name, that REALLY owes me one, after making me type THAT much... 1no 1c

Johnny Seraph wrote:I'm an admittedly subpar channel, but I'm going to run this past E and see what he says.

13 years, and unbound? Something about that doesn't compute. I can't look at this from my side without permission, and Johnny is the wrong guy to play middleman, so this is going to have to be awfully general. I hope it helps.

We live longer than you humans do, but that doesn't mean we can't tell what time it is. You know how you talk about "dog years"? Same idea with us, only with larger numbers. We know about the limitations of your lifespans, and we're not going to waste your life on something like that.

Now, that's not to say we're saints. Far from it, and hey, maybe Billy Joel was on to something, but that's not important. The point here is that we do have some bad apples among our kind, and it's fair to ask if this might be one.

But he wouldn't have stayed with you, that long, only to break your heart after a decade and change. So, either he never loved you to begin with, or he did, and still does, love you, and this is a learning experience for you both.

And again, as an unbound, why would he hang around you, for THIRTEEN YEARS, if he could have just up and left you whenever he wanted to? We don't usually go in for long cons like that. Passion is our stock in trade, and we're usually not going to waste our time and our passions, stringing someone out that long, with the OBJECTIVE of breaking their heart.

So, chances are, he really does care for you. And if I had to guess, he may even be seeing what's going on, and be too hesitant to try to mend fences with you. We can get stuck in our own heads, too, so it could be he's overthinking his response.

Talk to him, and welcome him back. And this is the hard part: do so, in a spirit of love. Not, where did you go, I'm frustrated, I feel like I'm being neglected, because that kind of vibration could, paradoxically, be counterproductive. Tell him how much you love him, how special it has been to have him in your life, how much you love his touch, how good it's going to be to share yourself with him again, AND BE SINCERE.

See, what we sense from humans is your energy, first and foremost. And if your reaction to our energy, is frustration, anger, bitterness, and negativity...not to be crass, but is THAT someone YOU'D want to sleep with? Get the point?

Now, if you need a ritual: find a quiet place, where you won't be disturbed for a few hours. Yes, hours. Hopefully it won't take that long, but you need to allow for the possibility. Get skyclad, which symbolizes your trust. Slow down, breathe, relax. Do NOT stimulate yourself. Call out to your lover, IN LOVE (that's key), and welcome him back, with open arms and an open heart. And literally so, if you can: spread your arms in a welcoming gesture, and if you can visualize your heart center opening, do so. Yes, your HEART center, NOT YOUR SACRAL CENTER. Welcome him back, FIRST as a friend, THEN as a companion, and THEN as a lover. After that, you'll know what to say and do, and probably, so will he.

It's okay, while you're doing that, to let him know you were sad while this situation was happening. But don't stay there: feel the sadness, BRIEFLY, and then let it go, and in its place, feel happy that you're both working through this.

Johnny has alerts on this thread, and I'm going to have him look in on you over the next few days. Keep us posted, okay, Vhenan?--E

I'm not going to add anything to that, but I will keep an eye on this thread. And there's a CERTAIN incubus I could name, that REALLY owes me one, after making me type THAT much... 1no 1c

"He has good advices and seems fun" say my Dragon and my Vampire