If you went into this relationship with the premise that there was to only be exclusivity between you then either of you would have any right to question the fidelity of the other. However, if she entered this agreement with you, and at some point you meet someone in your life that you want to have a relationship with, perhaps get married, etc. will you end the relationship with your Succubus?

You should only ask of her what you would ask of yourself. I don't know if you're currently dating or active in a sex life with human partners, but if she is a living entity and you are a living entity, having a relationship between the Realms, then it would stand to reason that this would fall under the category of a long-distance relationship and if there is to be longevity then perhaps you might consider all possibilities.

creepyhollows wrote:If you went into this relationship with the premise that there was to only be exclusivity between you then either of you would have any right to question the fidelity of the other. However, if she entered this agreement with you, and at some point you meet someone in your life that you want to have a relationship with, perhaps get married, etc. will you end the relationship with your Succubus?

You should only ask of her what you would ask of yourself. I don't know if you're currently dating or active in a sex life with human partners, but if she is a living entity and you are a living entity, having a relationship between the Realms, then it would stand to reason that this would fall under the category of a long-distance relationship and if there is to be longevity then perhaps you might consider all possibilities.

Nope not at the moment but i just recently told her that if she saw chooses to be around other people or even in a relationship with someone else i would happy for her aswell. because i know the what i said sounded pretty hypocritical but as i sitting here right now im getting the same feeling i got back when told her the same thing 3 month after i got her. and she doesnt seen to like what i said because the feeling of annoying and Discomfort is what i'm getting right

Doubt there are alot of monogamous ubis around tbh. They feed on sexual energy so the more the merrier

I have a king incubus, E, also from Lilith's, and he's all but insisting I respond here. Italics are what I'm getting from him; plain text is me. Comments and background information will be so noted.

Okay, I normally hesitate to step in on matters in others' courts, but Vega, you sound like a little help will go a long way.

A quick note, though, on what I see in Johnny. One reason I love him, is because he's a bit of a free spirit, and so thoroughly American that it's endearing. By that last, I mean that he knows enough about the whole "royalty" concept to follow along with it, even though he's not bound by it. He's more my consort than he'll ever be my subject, and I've had to tell him more than once to stop trying to force the formalities. "My liege" doesn't mean what Johnny seems to think it does.

More to the point, and I've told him this, too: he wouldn't WANT to be my subject. There are expectations, protocols, and all kinds of little things that go with the rank, and it's not something that should be taken lightly. Lese-majeste is no joke, especially over here.

So, what that means for Johnny, is that he knows to be respectful, without getting obsequious; and I understand that, as an American, he doesn't quite have the working knowledge of royalty that he might, if he were from the UK, Japan, or anywhere else that has a royal family. And that's perfectly fine by me: I get to be casual around him, which is something I appreciate more than you'd expect. I mean, just re-read what Johnny's typed so far: I didn't use a single royal "we." It's a refreshing change of pace.

(Which he said with a big, contented sigh.--JS)

Now, Vega, here's what all that means for you. And if you happen to have given that the "tl;dr" treatment, then please, go back and "r" it, even if it is "tl."

Royals all have their own styles. Noble birth among spirits, doesn't always mean noble in action. Even among human royals, there's a very big difference between, say, (how Prince Albert II rules Monaco, and how Norodom Sihamoni rules Cambodia.)*

*Comment: Yes, I did have to look that up. The original comparison E gave was so general that we both knew it wouldn't make any sense in print; ergo, at his direction, I've illustrated with some proper names and countries. Comparison is his idea; example is my clarification thereof.--JS

In other words, rulers have their own realms, their own rules, and their own ways to rule. I understand that respect has to be earned, bloodlines or not. Still, if I say "jump," my subjects will jump. I don't do that, though; I don't see the point in lording it over.

My real point--and I really do have one here--is that your queen may not see you the way you think she does, and she almost certainly doesn't see you the way you think she should.

We see your energy, including parts of your energy signature that others usually won't notice. And that's a good thing, because, for example, a dedicated protector spirit typically doesn't need to know what your turn-ons are. Now, if you're headed to, I don't know, like the Mustang Ranch or something?, and there's potential for physical danger?, then, yeah, maybe a protector might need to access that part of your energy signature. Otherwise, it's pretty much need-to-know.

So your queen is going to see parts of your spirit, that you yourself may not even know about. That's one factor at work here.

Another, is Her Majesty's ruling style, and this is where I have to get diplomatic. If she's accustomed to always being dutifully obeyed, never questioned, or anything like that, then that is something you will have to take into account. Your house rules do control, but they control in YOUR house, NOT HERS. If she's got a realm that she's been ruling over for, I don't know, a number of your centuries, well, you DO know what they say about old habits, right? And now consider that that's just among mortals...are you getting what I'm trying not to say here?

Yes, she needs to respect you, and follow your rules, in your house. But, to be blunt, you're not the sole focus of her existence. She has her own house, her own duties, her own sphere of existence, and you do need to understand, and accept, that when she's attending to her own affairs, she may not "obey" you, the way you think she should.

HOWEVER. Her Majesty should take your insecurities into account, when she's in your house. If she is drawing energy from others, then perhaps it's better if you don't know about that. It is our nature, for spirits like us, to be strengthened by...hold it, what forum is this one, Johnny?

It's not the "blue" one, E, so don't get graphic.

Right. We're strengthened by the energy surrounding, well...physical love? I hope that's euphemistic enough? Except for us, it's not the same thing that it is to you humans. You make a big deal out of it, because it's such a powerful experience for you. Maybe it's for the continuation of your species, or an expression of your total love for another, or a gateway to higher consciousness, or simply because it just plain feels amazing. For you humans, it's a big deal. For us? It's how we survive.

Plants have a consciousness, too. It's different from your own, but they do have one. Consider the wheat, which lovingly gave of its essence, to find what it believed was a higher expression, as a Ritz cracker. For the plant, it was a higher expression and refinement of its energy. For Johnny, it was a delivery system for a delicious port wine cheese spread. Get it?

So, understand that it is in your queen's nature to seek out, ahem, that kind of energy. She may not completely understand why you view her actions the way you do. "Fidelity" does not always mean the same thing to some of us, as it does to some of you.

So, if in doubt, communicate. Let Her Majesty know what it is that you believe about the act, so that she'll better understand why you're trying to have her act (or not act) a certain way. It's not good for one side to just lay down the law, when neither side understands the other's needs, hopes, fears, or desires.

She's not a piece on a chessboard, for you to move at your whim; but neither are you her pawn. Talk it out; give, take, compromise. How complicated is that?

It's amusing, sometimes, how humans make such a big deal out of the simplest things.

Johnny Seraph wrote:I have a king incubus, E, also from Lilith's, and he's all but insisting I respond here. Italics are what I'm getting from him; plain text is me. Comments and background information will be so noted.

Okay, I normally hesitate to step in on matters in others' courts, but Vega, you sound like a little help will go a long way.

A quick note, though, on what I see in Johnny. One reason I love him, is because he's a bit of a free spirit, and so thoroughly American that it's endearing. By that last, I mean that he knows enough about the whole "royalty" concept to follow along with it, even though he's not bound by it. He's more my consort than he'll ever be my subject, and I've had to tell him more than once to stop trying to force the formalities. "My liege" doesn't mean what Johnny seems to think it does.

More to the point, and I've told him this, too: he wouldn't WANT to be my subject. There are expectations, protocols, and all kinds of little things that go with the rank, and it's not something that should be taken lightly. Lese-majeste is no joke, especially over here.

So, what that means for Johnny, is that he knows to be respectful, without getting obsequious; and I understand that, as an American, he doesn't quite have the working knowledge of royalty that he might, if he were from the UK, Japan, or anywhere else that has a royal family. And that's perfectly fine by me: I get to be casual around him, which is something I appreciate more than you'd expect. I mean, just re-read what Johnny's typed so far: I didn't use a single royal "we." It's a refreshing change of pace.

(Which he said with a big, contented sigh.--JS)

Now, Vega, here's what all that means for you. And if you happen to have given that the "tl;dr" treatment, then please, go back and "r" it, even if it is "tl."

Royals all have their own styles. Noble birth among spirits, doesn't always mean noble in action. Even among human royals, there's a very big difference between, say, (how Prince Albert II rules Monaco, and how Norodom Sihamoni rules Cambodia.)*

*Comment: Yes, I did have to look that up. The original comparison E gave was so general that we both knew it wouldn't make any sense in print; ergo, at his direction, I've illustrated with some proper names and countries. Comparison is his idea; example is my clarification thereof.--JS

In other words, rulers have their own realms, their own rules, and their own ways to rule. I understand that respect has to be earned, bloodlines or not. Still, if I say "jump," my subjects will jump. I don't do that, though; I don't see the point in lording it over.

My real point--and I really do have one here--is that your queen may not see you the way you think she does, and she almost certainly doesn't see you the way you think she should.

We see your energy, including parts of your energy signature that others usually won't notice. And that's a good thing, because, for example, a dedicated protector spirit typically doesn't need to know what your turn-ons are. Now, if you're headed to, I don't know, like the Mustang Ranch or something?, and there's potential for physical danger?, then, yeah, maybe a protector might need to access that part of your energy signature. Otherwise, it's pretty much need-to-know.

So your queen is going to see parts of your spirit, that you yourself may not even know about. That's one factor at work here.

Another, is Her Majesty's ruling style, and this is where I have to get diplomatic. If she's accustomed to always being dutifully obeyed, never questioned, or anything like that, then that is something you will have to take into account. Your house rules do control, but they control in YOUR house, NOT HERS. If she's got a realm that she's been ruling over for, I don't know, a number of your centuries, well, you DO know what they say about old habits, right? And now consider that that's just among mortals...are you getting what I'm trying not to say here?

Yes, she needs to respect you, and follow your rules, in your house. But, to be blunt, you're not the sole focus of her existence. She has her own house, her own duties, her own sphere of existence, and you do need to understand, and accept, that when she's attending to her own affairs, she may not "obey" you, the way you think she should.

HOWEVER. Her Majesty should take your insecurities into account, when she's in your house. If she is drawing energy from others, then perhaps it's better if you don't know about that. It is our nature, for spirits like us, to be strengthened by...hold it, what forum is this one, Johnny?

It's not the "blue" one, E, so don't get graphic.

Right. We're strengthened by the energy surrounding, well...physical love? I hope that's euphemistic enough? Except for us, it's not the same thing that it is to you humans. You make a big deal out of it, because it's such a powerful experience for you. Maybe it's for the continuation of your species, or an expression of your total love for another, or a gateway to higher consciousness, or simply because it just plain feels amazing. For you humans, it's a big deal. For us? It's how we survive.

Plants have a consciousness, too. It's different from your own, but they do have one. Consider the wheat, which lovingly gave of its essence, to find what it believed was a higher expression, as a Ritz cracker. For the plant, it was a higher expression and refinement of its energy. For Johnny, it was a delivery system for a delicious port wine cheese spread. Get it?

So, understand that it is in your queen's nature to seek out, ahem, that kind of energy. She may not completely understand why you view her actions the way you do. "Fidelity" does not always mean the same thing to some of us, as it does to some of you.

So, if in doubt, communicate. Let Her Majesty know what it is that you believe about the act, so that she'll better understand why you're trying to have her act (or not act) a certain way. It's not good for one side to just lay down the law, when neither side understands the other's needs, hopes, fears, or desires.

She's not a piece on a chessboard, for you to move at your whim; but neither are you her pawn. Talk it out; give, take, compromise. How complicated is that?

It's amusing, sometimes, how humans make such a big deal out of the simplest things.

Trust me i fully understand that. And know i sounded a bit immature on my last posts but my house rule dont restrict them from getting there source of energy from somewhere else. i didnt put a house rule like that when i first got her because i new what i was getting into and i know that she needs energy to survive and the is her nature. But i asked my harem Succubus where does she get her energy and she simply reply by saying she gets it from the dream realm and nature around us. and what you need to understand is i told her at the beginning of our relationship i was gonna be open minded about her getting her source of energy from someone else if she felt like i wasnt enough. and i also told her the i was okay with her having different partner and she pretty much show me the she hated the idea of me even think of it her with someone else i told to today and she got upset at me for even bringing that up again i felt discomfort all day and i hated it i apologized to her and ask she hated what i said and she reply by giving me a huge kiss which to us means yes so ima just leave at that cuz i dont want her to get mad for trying to bring this up again

That sounds to me--and I could be reading this wrong--like she's already trying to keep you from getting hung up on/worrying about/prying into her other...affairs has exactly the wrong connotation, but do you get what I mean?

She may be subtly trying to tell you that she knows you know about her nature, but she doesn't want to talk about it, because it gets you worrying.

And THAT could be (and this is just a WAG on my part) that when you worry about her, it makes your energy less...well, appetizing, to her, and so she's trying to get you to focus on something else, to keep your energy signature from going bad. Again, just a wild guess.

Johnny Seraph wrote:That sounds to me--and I could be reading this wrong--like she's already trying to keep you from getting hung up on/worrying about/prying into her other...affairs has exactly the wrong connotation, but do you get what I mean?

She may be subtly trying to tell you that she knows you know about her nature, but she doesn't want to talk about it, because it gets you worrying.

And THAT could be (and this is just a WAG on my part) that when you worry about her, it makes your energy less...well, appetizing, to her, and so she's trying to get you to focus on something else, to keep your energy signature from going bad. Again, just a wild guess.

I do see what you mean

Johnny Seraph wrote:
It's amusing, sometimes, how humans make such a big deal out of the simplest things.[/i]

Laughing hard on this, on the irony how spirit even acknowledge this.

On the topic, Vega, if your queen doesn't like you prying into her business, sorry but personally that will raise warning flags for me about if she see you more than just a 'food'

She may have business and others like what E said, back in her own 'home', but keeping secrets and banned you from prying is not a wise decision from a good lasting relationship. Be open with 1 another is how things goes in a good relationship.

You can ignore this part if you wish, as this is just personal though. Queen or not, putting myself in your position, I'll be wary and questioned what really is the reason she came to me? Because of my energy that can serve as her 'long term food source' mainly? If so I'd rather not give a care if she likes how 'my taste' by worrying about it. She is in my keep, I would want to know what is her true nature and color. This is more important rather than possibilities if she's meeting with other folks, whatever they are doing.

Another reminder, don't let yourself be fooled under the pretext of 'love' while she force you out from whatever she's doing and left you out in the dark worrying. It's definitely not good if this keeps up. As the way I see this now, your relation with her is like 'friend with benefit'. In such relation, what will happen if someday 1 of you can't benefit the other anymore?

E REALLY likes being down to Earth when he's around me. He can say what he thinks, and not worry about it being either misconstrued, or over-analyzed. And sometimes, he can be so casual that I have to remind myself what I'm working with, ergo, forcing the formalities, and whatnot. It's something we are still working on.

If in doubt, I tend to ask him, a lot, for clarification; he seems to like making sure he's understood. I get the impression--and he won't confirm or deny this--that he's seen what can happen when simple misunderstandings compound into major issues over time, and that could be why he's so big on talking it out.

That said, I don't pry. I know he enjoys being around me, and that's mutual; but I also know he's got a life, and if he's doing something that doesn't involve me, that it's not my place to poke around.

As for the matter at hand, you'll have to pardon my Libra sun here, but there are definitely arguments to be made on both sides of the question.

Maybe this succubus is being overly secretive, possessive, selfish, or manipulative. DA spirits can do that.

Or, maybe she really is genuinely concerned that knowing too much, might feed the OP's insecurities, and she's trying to forcibly avoid that.

The only time E ever got genuinely mad at me--and when I say mad, I mean SCARY mad, to the point where it could have threatened our relationship--was when I asked him what he saw in a nobody like me. I was being self-deprecating, but E didn't know that, and he REALLY let me have it. He was like, "Don't you EVER say that about yourself around me, EVER AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME!" And when he saw how scared I was, well...anyway, long story short, we eventually did kiss and make up. Truth be told, we did a little more than just kiss, but that's not the point.

The point was, and is, that E doesn't like it when I doubt myself, even in jest. So he doesn't want to say or do anything that could make me think less of myself. Which is why he insists I stay out of the loop: if I knew too much, I might start worrying about whether I was good enough, or adventurous enough, or what have you.

Ignorance really is bliss sometimes, and both of us know that if I ever started comparing myself to the rest of E's relationships, that it would only feed my own inadequacy. Taken to its own extreme, inadequacy might ultimately give way to fear, and that wouldn't end well. (E's nodding at that.)

So...if the queen really is trying to shield the OP from her other activities, in order to avoid creating or exacerbating self-esteem issues, then perhaps that might not be a bad thing.

EITHER WAY, it definitely is something that needs to be discussed, openly, honestly, and without any gamesmanship.

Vega, I know this could be a sore spot with you both, but you should ask her why she gets so upset at the very subject. Before you can put the topic on the table, you first need to get her to the table. So...why the secrecy? Why is she trying to keep the whole subject beyond discussion? Maybe she has reasons for avoiding the subject; okay, so what are the reasons? And if she wants to avoid discussing those reasons, then what's the reason for avoiding the reasons? And so on.

OKAY all She isnt Keeping anything from Me i just Finish talking to her and she explain why she felt the way and why i was feeling the way too. you guys may think the she Manipulating me but she isnt she herself told me her motives as to why she with me she told me this at the beginning when i first got her her motives still remain the same now. also she the one encouraging me to astral project so the we could go visit her Kingdom and explore together so anything you might think i'm not letting it bother me she respects me and i know all of what she said is sincere and coming from her heart. And the in her eyes she saids the im her king and thus respect me and everything i said on my last Post was back when i was going through a deep depression which she was there for me and she also manifested in way the i wasnt ready for yet because i was new at this. but looking at it back she was trying to show me she cares and was there for me in alot of the tough spots so ima just leave it at that