(And I apologize in advance, because I'm not sure someone can read through all of it...)
One of my friends keeps telling me that I'm an empath. He is by no means interested in paranormal and he probably knows the word "empath" just because he read it somewhere on the internet. But my gut and some experiences are telling me there might actually be something about it.
I'm by no means the "full blown" empath, who can sense the emotions of every single random person in a crowd, even to the point wrere it overwhelms them.
There are some sings I might actualy be one:
1) Even as a child I was known as a very honest person. I almost always spoke the truth without much thinking about it- and then felt VERY bad when I accidentaly hurt someones feelings.
2) I'm most of the time able to somehow tell, if another person is lying, or intentionally twisting the truth or missing out some important parts.
3) I can tell if someone is happy, sad, angry etc just by being around them. This applies even to a complete stranger, but gets even stronger, the more I know the person. I can sometimes even feel they have feelings (possitive or negative) to another person without them talking about it.
4) I 'mirror' other's feelings- I'm happy, when they're happy, feel sad (and try to comfort them), when they're sad. And I try never to hurt another person, because their sadness or anger backfire on me instantly. I'm also fast in getting other's habbits, way of speaking etc. (I was caught speaking different dialect or foreign language without me even noticing)
5) I can sense the mood in a room even before entering it. Sometimes to the point when I even don't enter it at all, when I feel there's something wrong.
6) I'm more of a listening type of person. People often feel the urge to tell me their life stories, especially those somehow hurt or sad. It's even common that a complete stranger approach me in the pub and starts pouring his heart out on me. I also somehow seem to attract girls after terrible breakups- But only as if they seek me for a healing and then they just vanish from my life.
7) Even in a big crowd I tend to run into people I know. It's just as if I know they are there. It's also almost impossible to sneak up on me. I just know the person is there...
8 ) People rarely seek conflict with me and even if they do, it usually settles quickly in a peacefull way (Unless drunk or drugged...)
9) I sometimes catch myself thinking "I don't have to explain, they'll feel it"- I somehow expect others to feel the same I do, or to understand something just by looking in my eyes etc.
But then there are some signs that counter this:
1) I try to avoid crowds, but not for the reasons a true empath would. I actually feel the less emotions, the more people are around me. To the point where the people around me somehow appear to be just hollow shells (this feeling is hard to explain) and that's what is scary. I usually battle this feeling by "retreating" inside myself and just giving others only as much attention not to hit them by accident.
2) I'm not that into the "nature preservation", that a real empath seems to be from what I read around the internet. Don't take me wrong- I like nature and I'm animal lover as well. But I like living in the city, I'm a lot into technologies, I'm not a vegetarian and more then the "greenpeace" attitude towards wildlife I believe on the necessity to find harmony between mankind with their technologies and the Mother Nature.
3) I'm never sure my feelings are true. This can be either by me making mistake, or just because the person refuses to admit it.
4) As far as I can be sure about someones internal feelings or feelings for some other person, I get very confused about their feelings towards me- especially if there are some romantic feelings. Those I usually get completely wrong, or not feel them at all.
5) I'm very shy when it comes to meeting strangers.
6) I may be a good listener, but there are times when I just can't shut up and keep talking, not letting the other person reply.
7) I can very well shut this stream of emotions, if I concentrate on it. The only exception being the person I actually love, then I just can't do it.
8 ) Unlike other empaths, I like violent games and movies. I'm a lot into military and military history. I don't mind action or war movies, where peple die by dozzens. On the other hand I don't like sad movies, I almost never watch a movie without happyend more then once and even a cartoon can make me cry sometimes...
There would be much more to write about it, but the post is already very long and probably such a mess (random thoughts plus my not very good english), that I would be surprised if someone can read through it all...
