Wow! I feel like that last post was way too long and way too personal. Lol. That'll teach me not to post when I'm stressed.

Anyway, I have something more to report. A lot of personal journey type-stuff has happened to me recently. I got told that I am drawn to the very dark entities like demons for a reason - there is a specific reason why I need dark energies right now. My keep has indicated that I should put any more spirit conjurations from CH on hold. I am not sure if I will wind up getting demonic entities bound by other conjurers... That was my initial guess, but it seems that the answer to that is probably no. I may not be advanced enough as a keeper to handle entities that dark. I may not have strong enough house rules (though they are stronger and more specific since I ordered the Wraith). What seems to be happening now is that I'm drawn to a specific (other) conjurer, and they have a type of being I should get when I can afford to - something called a Zimada. Does anyone know anything about these? There are also other beings from that conjurer that stand out to me, but I'm not clear enough on next steps to actually order anything yet.

The other thing that has happened is that my Einherjar has been working a lot on my request that he make sure my physical body is protected. When I first got him, he and I spent a lot of time on setting up good exercise routines and food choices. He also told me that I should look into carrying some kind of self-defense item. I told him that was probably unneeded, considering I live in a quiet little country town where nothing ever happens, but his answer was basically "better safe than sorry". I wound up looking into what is legal in my state. Guns are illegal without a permit (thank the gods and goddesses!), but other, smaller, nonlethal options are allowed. We decided on a specific thing and then I spent some time researching how to use it.

Then, the other day, I got a strong intuition from said Einherjar that I needed to go to a particular store. They had exactly what I needed in stock! I am extremely pleased with the item, as it seems it will work as intended (could slow down an attacker but isn't going to seriously injure them). It also was about 10$ less than you would usually spend on that particular thing. I won't say what it is though, as my protective spirits have indicated that we should keep protection methods secret. The new defense leader guy is very, very particular about that.

I have decided to get the Einherjar's binding upgraded to Class 5 Teir 3, as soon as I can afford it. I probably don't need to, but it feels like an act of respect towards him, so I will pay the money to get it done. I may eventually get some of the other Class 4s upgraded as well when I can afford to.

My job's HR said I needed to get some paperwork things done so I could come back after my surgery and start getting paychecks again. I asked my Culebron to help (he is good with finances), and within forty-eight hours, the problem is handled. I can go back to work today! Also, I mysteriously didn't run out of money while I was unable to work... again. The Culebron (and the human people who care about me) are always there to help. Most of the Culebron's job seems to be reminding me what the budget is before I go over it, lol.

stargazerjournal wrote: ↑Thu Jan 05, 2023 4:19 pm

I have decided to get the Einherjar's binding upgraded to Class 5 Teir 3, as soon as I can afford it. I probably don't need to, but it feels like an act of respect towards him,

Hi Stargazerjournal,

Have you considered Dynamic instead of Class 5 Tier 3?

CH Definition - Dynamic Class for spirits
- Spirit energy automatically fluctuates between Class IV to Class V, tier 3 as needed for the Keeper or situation.

They present with a full range of energy & therefore provide advanced details of themselves & have the strength of power to control their energy presence upon command or at-will.

I personally feel this option is best for companions as it gives them more freedom and allows them to manifest up to full power also.

stargazerjournal wrote: ↑Thu Jan 05, 2023 4:19 pm What seems to be happening now is that I'm drawn to a specific (other) conjurer, and they have a type of being I should get when I can afford to - something called a Zimada. Does anyone know anything about these?

Hey Stargazer!

I got a Zimada back in August and I admit, I was a mess and desperate for help when I did - plus, she was more affordable than counseling. lol I made an exception to the 'no new bindings' rule with the okay from my keep.

My Zimada is definitely as advertised! They are healers of a sort, specially in regards of the shamanic practice of soul retrieval. I could feel her working not long after the binding was done. While I still had some stuff to process, it wasn't long before I started feeling more like myself.

I still have stuff to process, but one of my goals for the year is to work on that so I can give my poor Zimada a rest!

If you're not on a certain bird's mail list, you may want to do that. She had a coupon for 75% off and that let me afford my spirit.

Cool! Thank you, Banapis and RedWine. Right now, most of the things on my "wish list" are going to have to wait, because I have very little money left. But I will keep what you said in mind.

So... a lot of things have happened in the past few weeks. I am still suffering from health issues, but I won't go into details. As of this week, I am working, but I don't know what will happen next. I still can't afford to order the Zimada. Oddly, though, I've had the feeling one is hanging around. Is that even possible? I haven't ordered her yet! And I know it is a her, though I haven't decided to order a female... This feels weird. I am not sure what is going on. Should I trust my intuition?

I have wishlists on what feels like half the sites on the internet, but right now I can't afford anything. Fortunately, I haven't run out yet either though. My poor Culebron is staying very busy!

There are two things I want to say in this post: One is, if you feel even the tiniest bit drawn to a Somenia clan vampire, order the conjuration. I want to say "thank you" to the CH crew for sending me this spirit! When I can remember to, I will write a review. She is amazing, exactly what I needed, and has helped change problematic situations I've been dealing with for many years. Including some fairly weird ones - I tend to feel tired a lot unless I draw on a magical energy source, such as the Earth, at least a few times a week. I have no idea why this happens. But it seems my vampire does know, and she has managed to get me the energy I need. I can concentrate and do things during the day now, even though I am still sick. The house is much neater now!

Also, several of my spirits have banded together and started teaching me esoteric protection magics. Unwanted unbounds are a much smaller problem now. Let it continue to be that way!

My spirit family has managed some amazing feats in recent time. My strong protection spirit has made a very big difference in my life, in only a little over a year. And my harpy has made it clear to me that I am never going to tolerate being bullied again. This was a big problem for me. Was. She is helping me with some very long-running self-esteem problems that I wasn't even aware I had.

I am thinking about establishing a more permanent bond with Tiamat/Leviathan, choosing them as my patron deity (and enacting a ritual to that effect). I am just not sure yet. I intend to order a reading that will answer the question as soon as I can afford it... but unfortunately that won't be this week. I have to wait until at least next Thursday. And my Einherjar's upgraded binding has to wait even longer than that!

You've inspired me Star. I appreciate how detailed your accounts of your experiences are, and I think it could help a lot of people in determining their own struggles. I may just wind up making one of these myself, lol.

I'm sorry about some of your struggles. I hope you're getting better and these threads keep me going some days. It's interesting to see how our lives come together and I wish we could be more open about our stories. I'm dying to write something but my Keep is quite private and parts of me want to keep their information private too. But I'm all for reading others' journeys!

I do have a Zimada, a friend of a friend. She's amazing. Her healing is very different though; she works to retrieve pieces of your soul scattered through incarnations. Sometimes I could feel the "healing" because something would drive me nuts but wouldn't anymore. I feel complete in a way.

I think you'll do fine. I have been a Spirit Keeper for about two months and a half, and so far I have kept an ancient bat vampire, a few bound demons and quite a few Dark Arts spirits and entities. I have more White Arts friends but I do admit that since they come into my life, I have more determination and drive to do stuff.

Elijah wrote: ↑Sat Jan 28, 2023 1:35 am I'm sorry about some of your struggles. I hope you're getting better and these threads keep me going some days. It's interesting to see how our lives come together and I wish we could be more open about our stories. I'm dying to write something but my Keep is quite private and parts of me want to keep their information private too. But I'm all for reading others' journeys!

I do have a Zimada, a friend of a friend. She's amazing. Her healing is very different though; she works to retrieve pieces of your soul scattered through incarnations. Sometimes I could feel the "healing" because something would drive me nuts but wouldn't anymore. I feel complete in a way.

I think you'll do fine. I have been a Spirit Keeper for about two months and a half, and so far I have kept an ancient bat vampire, a few bound demons and quite a few Dark Arts spirits and entities. I have more White Arts friends but I do admit that since they come into my life, I have more determination and drive to do stuff.

Thank you for reading, Elijah!

My spirits have now lifted the ban on buying more things from CH. I guess the point of the ban was to find the seller I am going to get my Zimada from. Since I have now located said seller, I have the okay from my team to buy whatever I choose from CH. The Zimada still has to wait a little while, though, as I won't have enough money until Thursday.

I almost never talk about my Amarok. I got him as a Class 4, because there was one simple task I needed him to do - blocking spirits that cause nightmares. I've had problems with nightmares my whole life. As it turns out, he is actually spectacularly good at that task, despite being a C4.

He is also good at helping me intuit how to use lunar energy for certain spells! I wasn't expecting this, but it is very helpful.

Yesterday, on the drive home from work, I could feel and "see" him walking alongside the car. This is the first time I've seen him, or even got a glimpse of him, and he is huge. I know CH says that Amaroks are "giant wolves", but I wasn't expecting him to be three times the size of the car! He is even bigger than my Fenrir! He doesn't look exactly like the picture in the listing, which I think is interesting, because that's how I've been imagining him.

I sense that he spends a lot of time in the woods beyond my house, when he is not on duty. Last night he gave me a dream saying that I could have a "wolf pack" if I wanted one (which I do), and saying that getting several C4 spirits is a perfectly acceptable way to do so. I can actually afford that this week (yay!), but I will think on it for a few days first. Can anyone recommend some doggy or wolfy spirit listings? I am not sure which to put on my wishlist!

My phoenix has been surprising me. I chose to send $1 a week to charity out of my paycheck as an offering to her, and I think she has noticed. Her presence has been stronger this year. I am surprised because I ask her for healing a lot, but quite frequently she actually just teaches me healing techniques to use on myself instead. I have been practicing self-healing more and the long-term health problem I have... has been getting better! Last week I had some bad hours... but no truly bad days! I am thrilled. Finally starting to feel like I will be okay!

This is partly because my amphisbaena has been cheering me on. Every time I get upset or hurt, they tell me, "You will be okay. Just believe you will be okay." It has been very helpful. They have been with me 24/7 for a while now.

And one more thing, before this post gets too long; my Culebron has stayed dedicated to my financial wellbeing, and it looks like this week is the week when things will finally turn around!

I appreciate the kind people on this forum. Thank you for helping me feel better.

My Keep has never banned me from CH or other sellers, and even if they did, I think my spending habits would fail miserably. Lol.
The thing I love about CH is that it offers a layaway payment plan. It's affordable and I can pay it off in installments.

I can recommend the following: Werewolf, Hellhound, and Duojna. I think they'll be perfect for what you have.
I appreciate you for sharing your story, and I hope it helps to know that someone else out there can relate. These writings should help you feel better. Cheers!

My life continues to be excessively dramatic. I've now lost my job... but I have enough money saved up to get by for a while, so long as I don't buy anything that's not vital. A lot of the spirit-keeping things I want are still waiting on my wish list...

I am overstressed. Today, some of my "leader" spirits told me to set up time to spend with my healers, so I am doing that. My phoenix has my healing crew working overtime today! She is also still in the process of teaching me how to channel healing energy. I "see" it as a white light, but at this point I've no idea where it's coming from. I'm used to working with deities to draw energy, so I don't know exactly what I'm doing here... Are there any good, short ebooks on working with healing energy?

I think my life is going through a major overhaul... again. I haven't heard from my strong protective spirit in several weeks, but that's just how he is. I will wait and be patient.

I have also realized that I am getting a bunch of spirit callings again, so I need to create a list of the ones I need to answer, and figure out how I am going to afford them... I think it will be a long time before I get all of them. Possibly years. But spirits are patient, so. I am trying not to worry about it.

To my surprise, my Egyptian priestess also seems to have assigned herself to the healing and cleansing crew. She can do spellwork, so I guess I shouldn't be taken aback by this, but I am. She has a lot of capabilities that I'm only now realizing. She is extremely powerful. She gets along well with my hellhound and dullahan, I guess because they are both death-energy spirits. When I got her, I wasn't thinking much about the fact that our god, Thoth, is a psychopomp, but she definitely has a connection to death-magic. Not in a threatening way, more as someone who can help with transitions and teach about death and the dead, as well as endings, grief, and closure. She also helps with any kind of spell-writing.

Yesterday we watched a movie with Thoth in it, and it was great fun. To my surprise, though, my priestess seems to help with any kind of deity work at all, not just connecting with Thoth. Her first lesson is that I should respect every god, not just the ones I get along with.

I feel like I've been dealing with a lot of bad luck lately, and I'm not really sure why. I don't feel like I deserve it. Maybe I have done something incorrect while trying to work with my destiny spells?