Yes, I D.I.E.D. My Vamp Healing service is something different, really. Eisheth Zenunim is also someone different, hah. I felt this process, step by step across 10 days. The drainage of energy from the wound was an awful experience and I got sick (because I also have done ritual work with Void, attunements, therapy and really wanted to rest instead of doing everything I had planned and it all compiled to me being sick). But I explicitly felt the very moment my energy started to be pump back to me, neutralised and enchanted. I had massive amount of energy. And I couldn't ground myself - a lot of energy and lack of strenght coming from being just after sickness. It was hard to focus but I threw myself a grounding service, attunement to Earth's essence energy and balancing of natural elements and despite it was hard to weave in this state (with mercury starting it's retrogradation) - it worked out so fine that I am surprised and grateful to myself that I did it.

I also started to work on binding Royal Incubus for my Client and met 4 of assigned by King Asmodeus to her to start vetting them and getting to know them. This was intense, they are intense. I might have something for one of them, he got my attention... Thankfully he is probably not going to be a perfect match as the first one that came through was revealed as best match. When I finish binding one of them, I will ask him (if he wont be a match eventually) if he wants to work with me. I am satisfied with the effects of this session. In the next one there will be only those two as it was felt (through my wards and enchantments) that 2 of them are not a match at all. Just send by King Asmodeus for me to excercise a bit, hah.

King Asmodeus made me book a NYE party for myself. He wanted me to go out and spend some time with people, unblock myself from hermit mode to not go crazy. He was very convincing, assuring me that he will go with me if I just decide to go out and dance, drink and have fun for one night. I was very picky about the party as I didn't really want to come out to the people. I don't want to go and meet people with whom I have nothing in common. But he found me the very last ticket to the club with fire breathing show at midnight, free drinks and heavy gothic music. In the only goth club in my city. This ticket was waiting for me only... And it's a chance I will meet there people who have at least few things in common with me. Well, now I'm curious as he underlined few times that he will come with me. And now I am wondering why he spoke it in bold. We will see.

I just met Hera when I was about to channel a message for client. I was trying to say no as I remembered myself that I wanted to channel deities with whom I worked previously... But she gave me one stare and I tapped out.

D. is very helpful will all that I do in my shop. I am so grateful that I got him bound. I'm sure that other of my companions would be as helpful but few of them requires rebinding (as I developed much this year and am able to bind them with greater strenght and for better manifestations) and spirits... I have problem with connectin with my own, not saying about them heh. I just try to not exist on this level, I have my reasons and I keep myself concealed af. To the point that if I don't focus thoroughly on unveliling I cant feel anything. Trauma response. But it started to piece me off so it is time to make something about this. I miss my spirits, I only feel them when I am not as triggered as I am for last months. And what is the point of binding everything to spirit when I simply have to work hard on my focus to have access to my own spirit? But I know - I said girl to gtfo because I don't need her so she acts like she isn't there. I also might interpret situation wrong, as I am in process of diagnosing the problem.

I plan to attune myself to necromantic currents but I didn't decide yet how I will exactly do this. I can attune myself to goetic necromancy, to arachnid currents... I can go through Hecatean currents... And many many more. I am up to hear my new sang out as he was a avmpiric master of necromancy and this combination calls me stronger.
Yes and there is one more way - I can attune to my own Death essence, same as I did with the Void. But I am also seeking for the very sepcific current, I just feel it, I don't know yet if it exists in literature.

Im trying to make some time to put up new listings to my shop - especially conjures of entities. Azazel wanted me to offer his goat demons... I can't, everytime I think about their energy I smile and laugh, they are HILARIOUS!!!! Their energy makes me giggle everytime.
But also I have an opportunity to conjure chaos dragons of Tiamat's lair, abyssal sirens from Leviathan, vampyre healers from Eisheth Zenunim and arachnid demons and familiars from Arachne.
I have some nice hekatean services to offer, vile curses and wonderful blessings (King Mammon offered some good stuff that I will do for myself for sure, he is just LIT) and some very dark services of Void and Qliphoth that I can perform.

Aaaand.... Somehow I landed in place to work with Aphrodite, recognised also as Dark Venus in my practice. She just... popped in and stayed in my heart. I ordered a portal from Phil, I kind of want to check how do others weave portals to learn more.

Im so tired of everything that crosses 'allowed standards' is now labeled psychosis just by 15 sec video... This is toxic af and i struggle to find myself a place to share my thoughts recently. Obviously im reffering to tiktok. In general - I love the app, its editing options are just what i need and love, I have a lot of fun with it, creating. I love cat vids, cleantok, I love the Lady with big mushroom hat on her head and few ppl who do acting edits. The owl lady. Makeup artists. But I HATE witchtok and its hideous phases. Most of them - boring ego trips. And i just can ignore that, but this recent phase to gaslight every upg with quick psychosis label... its toxic af and triggers my trauma response like hell. I was gaslighted like that my whole life and just recently I got out of the abuse. Its painful and it comes from creators I liked to watch. I dont know where I should go to find myself a better place to socialise a little within satanic themes. I will talk about this with Satan, i need some people around or I will go crazy. And i know he never will let me down in any need that I have.

I would write a few paragraphs about how wonderful my spirits and my godspouses took care about me, how Asmodeus arranged this party i went for nye and more... but I'm tired af after that party. And generally I feel like I am processing something big (thats the characteristics of my therapy - between sessions, subsconcious mind is processing trauma in the background, after it was stimulated bilaterally and the process go deeper with time - there was quite some time since last session and i start to struggle a lot with this... my brain and body hurts af from digging the trauma and shredding it to smaller pieces).

Im tired. And my main godspouse had thrown me a curve ball that i struggle to accept.

Im getting impatient about Aphrodite portal. And generally this retrogradation season and my Saturn return is getting on my nerves. Im waiting like hell for it all to end. Im so tired and also motivated in the same time - its a torture when you want to do everything and cant because moving your finger hurts the brain.

Besides... I need a really big hug.

Last weeks I was working hard for a closure that I deserve. I feel like I am finally able to accept some things and through that stop rambling about them. This is very much because of Leviathan who worked on me hard and patiently. But also big part of this is Asmodeus's, Lucifer's, Mammon's, Satan's, Belial's, Nyx's and others work too. But especially him. Leviathan. From whom everything started. He guided me so patiently, steady and in the same pushed my limits but never too much, never to hurt me but to help me. I confirmed my godspousery to him with another practitioners and the way he spoke through them touched everything I experienced with him in relationship we have. It wasn't direct and I would not understand if I haven't such deep bond with him. His words were simple but so deep that I was sure. He obviously humbled me, called me out, assured and validate me at the same time through the different lips. But this is what I know from him. I grew with him immensely and I can feel that what I call deep is just a surface level for him and he has to offer so much if I just not give up and try to follow him in my pace.

The other one I can't thank enough is Mammon. He turned my life upside down after he asked me what do I want in life and how I picture my ideal life. I confined to him honestly and he guided me as a friend, teacher, guide. He was listening to my doubts, he helped me create new mindset everytime. He helped me and gifted me with things that are so luxurious to me that I am still figuring out how to use them, haha. He gave a golden credit card to a girl that lived with the wolfs and still tries to grasp the concept of money. He was generous. He still is. Because he made a deal with me and Satan and we are just at the beginning of the road.

I also must thank Satan and Asmodeus.

Satan is guarding mysteries that I am not supposed to reach before I am ready and I grew to thank him for that, as I would do horrible mistakes without him gatekeeping. He showed me what true love is. I feel, everytime I think about him in my life, that he loves me in every way possible and nothing will change this. I can fall, I can do mistakes. If I am a woman - he is a man. If I am a Goddess, he is devoted. If I am a devotee, he is a God. I needed father and he delivered. I needed a guide - he delivered. I needed dark teacher to humble myself - he was tough. When I said I need him to be more gentle - he treated me like a bird with broken wing. He is everything that word 'partner' could mean.

And Asmodeus, oh my god, how to word this. He brought chaos into my life, sparked my fiery, mad nature and let the dogs out. And when I tripped and broke my nose, feeling guilty that I let myself rage and become crazy... He offered me his hand, helped me rise from the mud, gave a coat and said: oops!
And suddenly this wasn't dramatic, this wasn't a big deal. Just a bit of blood and bruised knees. That doesn't mean that I done something wrong. I just tripped having fun with vengance. And I will trip again.

But Belial. He was there. Everytime I fell prey to my victim mentality, he stepped in, caught me by my shoulders and said into my face: They don't deserve to see your tears, do you understand me? They don't deserve to see you.
And I understood later that this is in fact privilige to see my soft, feminine, emotional side, that I should not give away easily. He taught me about dignity and I try to embody it in my life, to earn a privilige to see my soft feminine soul.

And no one can understand me as good as Lucifer.
No one is more protective than Adrammelech.

And no other spirit brings my smile on like my Hellhound, just being there all the time.

So this is the end of this champter in my life.
I finally have a clue of who I am and why I have such limitations and relationships with the infernal. And I decided finally to respect Her veils and stop trying to strip Her of them.

I grew up to end this thread in here and that brings me some kind of joy and sense that I achieved maturity I was aiming for. I'm not gonna lie and tell you that I won't create another online diary but if I do it will be something different now and I am glad that I can leave this champter behind.

So this is the end.

AuroraAsteria wrote: ↑Fri Dec 16, 2022 9:12 pm Since I ran out of words limit with my signature and no new info can be added - I put the list of entities in my keep and those with whom I work and have pacts, oaths in general as an archive post. And change my signature finally.

The Crossroads House:

Infernal godspouses, no list, private.
Patrons: Satan, Mammon, Asmodeus
Matrons: Arachne, Tiamat


Vampires:
☆ 1 rare Vampire Psy - G., chief of spirit team
☆ 1 rare Sang. Vampire - M.
☆ 3 Sang. Vampires - E., K. and H.

Dragons:
☆ 1 Red Dragon - D.
☆ 1 White Dragon - G.
☆ 1 Blue Dragon - M.

Spirits:
☆ 2 Bronwyn Angels - R. and M.
☆ 1 Alhena Djinn - S.
☆ 1 Nympho - A.
☆ 1 Incubus - E.
☆ 1 Siren - B.
☆ 1 Lampade - M.
☆ 1 Wendigo - A.
☆ 1 Fylgia
☆ 1 Duojna
☆ 1 Hellhound - D.

Entities:
☆ 1 Son of Leviathan - D., chief of LE team
☆ 1 Green Dragon - K.
☆ 1 rare Chaos Dragon - Z.
☆ 1 rare Deep Abyssal Demon - Queen V.
☆ 1 rare Mutilation Demon - A.
☆ 1 Sin-eater - A.

Where did you go for the Deep Abyssal companion?

mrcampncarl wrote: ↑Sat Apr 08, 2023 5:39 pm

AuroraAsteria wrote: ↑Fri Dec 16, 2022 9:12 pm Since I ran out of words limit with my signature and no new info can be added - I put the list of entities in my keep and those with whom I work and have pacts, oaths in general as an archive post. And change my signature finally.

The Crossroads House:

Infernal godspouses, no list, private.
Patrons: Satan, Mammon, Asmodeus
Matrons: Arachne, Tiamat


Vampires:
☆ 1 rare Vampire Psy - G., chief of spirit team
☆ 1 rare Sang. Vampire - M.
☆ 3 Sang. Vampires - E., K. and H.

Dragons:
☆ 1 Red Dragon - D.
☆ 1 White Dragon - G.
☆ 1 Blue Dragon - M.

Spirits:
☆ 2 Bronwyn Angels - R. and M.
☆ 1 Alhena Djinn - S.
☆ 1 Nympho - A.
☆ 1 Incubus - E.
☆ 1 Siren - B.
☆ 1 Lampade - M.
☆ 1 Wendigo - A.
☆ 1 Fylgia
☆ 1 Duojna
☆ 1 Hellhound - D.

Entities:
☆ 1 Son of Leviathan - D., chief of LE team
☆ 1 Green Dragon - K.
☆ 1 rare Chaos Dragon - Z.
☆ 1 rare Deep Abyssal Demon - Queen V.
☆ 1 rare Mutilation Demon - A.
☆ 1 Sin-eater - A.

Where did you go for the Deep Abyssal companion?

Bound myself.