Hej Everyone on the Board. I have 3 things that I would like some insight or advice on. It is long, but this has been on my mind for a few years now, and I'd like some help.I. "M" or "Grim Reaper"
Since 2007 I've been seeing (in my mind's eye) a 6 1/2-7 foot tall black hooded figure, either Male or gender neutral, and it either shows up when someone is about to die or it needs me for some unknown reason.
I first encountered this Entity back in 2007 when my grandfather was very ill. He was in the ICU, sleeping, and this Entity appeared right next to him. He said to me "Your grandfather, Claude, will be coming with me in two weeks. Love him while you can..." then dematerialised. Surely enough, exactly a fortnight (2 weeks) later, he passed away.
The next and most detailed encounter I've had with this Entity was in late January 2020. I was sitting at the table drinking hot chocolate, journaling, in the kitchen area of a local hospice. I was there to help my friend while she visited her friend who was dying. I heard my legal name being called in my "mind's ears" so to speak from the doorway. I turned around, and saw the Entity standing there. I greeted it with "We meet again my old friend...", to which it nodded. I asked it "What would you like to tell me?". The Entity showed me the number 3, in the form of a thought.
Fastforward to the 4th of February. I called my friend on my way home from work, and asked her how her friend was doing. She told me died the previous Night...the Night of the 3rd!
I've been living in my apartment for 6 years now, which is surrounded by cemeteries. One is right behind my apartment complex (and across the street from a playground HAHAHA!!), one across the street, and one across the lake my apartment complex is built next to. My next door neighbours swear they are haunted by a deity they call "The Sea Captain" and "The Demon" (because they are from an old sea faring town and their old house was built by a sea captain, who also haunted their house, and they believe followed them to the apartment next door to mine). They describe the "Sea Captain" as a cloaked figure, but under 6 feet tall. I've seen (with my eyes, not my "mind's eye") a hooded figure quickly floating out of the cemetery within the first 3 weeks I moved in here. This same figure I've seen (with my "mind's eye") standing a few feet away and in front of my door. I don't know how I feel about this, because sometimes I think it needs something from me, other times I think it wants my permission to enter my apartment for some reason. Either way, I always give a stern "No! I don't want you in my apartment! If you need something you tell me, got it?" and shut my door, followed by my automatic protection spell that activates everytime I turn the dead bolt. Sounds contradictory, but I'm not sure if it's the "Sea Captain" or the Entity who flashed me the number 3 in the hospice. Also, the same neighbours told me a previous tenant killed himself in a unit on our same floor before I had moved in.
Here's why I want to call this Entity "M". This past January, I was sitting at my table writing a story, and I sensed it walking around my apartment building, in the landscaping. (Something which happens often.) I attempted to telepathically communicate with it, asking it's name. He/It said "M***" The name isn't a vulgar word, I'm just censoring it because I have a gut feeling He/It doesn't want me to go into too much detail. But my instinct is telling me "M" is connected to death, time, and related. Hence why I'm wondering if this "M" Entity could be what we call the Grim Reaper. What do you think?
II. Anubis
This kinda ties into the above and below (no Baphomet references intended!) questions.
When I was kid back in the 90's I had a few imaginary friends, and one of the most "present" ones was Anubis. I owned a CD-ROM about Ancient Egypt, and came across the Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead, where I learned about Anubis. And something about Him fascinated me so much He became my imaginary friend. Reflecting back on my childhood, I strongly suspect it was much more, considering the above and below questions, since Anubis is a Psychopomp. I could hear Him in my head, as we'd sit back and observe my peers in lunch, on the playground, in class. One conversation I remember in particular was watching my peers playing on the black top, and Anubis teaching me about "herd mentality" in a way that I could understand. He told me that I was different from the other kids, using toys and teachers as an example. "Young Master {real name}, have you taken notice how your peers play with the ball over there?" "Yes" I replied. "When the teacher gives them their rubber ball to play with, that is the sole toy they will find pleasure in, soley because their superior gave it to them, regardless of how they feel about it. They will do as they ate told. You, on the other hand, Young Master {real name} fear not of playing with whatever it is you enjoy!". Anubis's point was that I'm an Individualist and Independent, and I also believe He was there for me because I really needed someone, because my home was very dangerous for a child.
I'm wondering if He has given me a psychic ability involving the Dead, because....
III. Hi, my name is Tiffany...
This incident takes place a few months ago. I was scrolling on my ipod touch, an article about one of my favourite Polish Black Metal bands, my mind open. Suddenly, loud and clear as day, I had the image of a male-to-female transsexual* pop into my head, followed by "Hi, my name is Tiffany..." I don't involve myself with the queer demographic, and I thought this was strange, since nothing I was reading mentioned transsexuals* anywhere in it. However I felt a sense of urgency to search this person, so I did on DuckDuckGo, and the first result was a news article about a transsexual woman (yes, named Tiffany) who was shot to death outside of a car wash in Texas. That was the first time I had heard about this horrible incident, which occurred a month prior to me hearing and seeing this person in my head.
I can't help but think that I have some kind of connection with the Dead, between these 3 things, plus how things like Graveyards and Gargoyles and animal bones and haunted locations tend to "find me". For the record, I do have a psychiatric condition, though it does not involve auditory hallucinations as a symptom. I do not require SSRI or antipsychotic medications, and I do not believe in putting foil on my windows will protect me from the Martians living on Jupiter. I understand that what the Occult describes Spiritually is also what Science can describe logically, if that makes sense. Meaning what a doctor can call a PTSD flashback when visiting a place where trauma in your life occurred is also what Occultists describe as "negative energy that has been absorbed into that place". I'm explaing this because I believe that medical care SHOULD NEVER be replaced with anything Occult or Metaphysical alone, and am of sound mind. Thank you for taking the time to read my long post!
* I use "transsexual" because the goal of these people is to try to change their sex to match their gender, hence my use of the term "transsexual" instead of "transgender".
** "Queer" is the all encompassing term for this demographic, and is easier to use than that ever growing acronym this demographic uses
