Sleep paralysis or something else?

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CuriousLolita
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So this is going to be a bit of a longer story but I'll have a TLDR at that end for those that would like to skip it.

I've only had sleep paralysis twice and both times were.. strange.

The first time I was under some serious stress in college (think dropping out and running away to attend a bar tending school in a state over levels of stress). Things were terrible and I was on the verge of another mental break down. However, all of that stress vanished when I started seeing a therapist. Now at the time that this happened, I was gleefully stress free for about 1-2 weeks with my therapist having just given me a bundle of apples and caramel for my birthday. I was the happiest I had been in a long time. I remember happily cutting up an apple and heating up some caramel for a fantastic night time treat before heading to bed and thinking that everything was going to be alright, you know?

Then he came.

One night out of NO WHERE I had my first ever bout of sleep paralysis. I know it's typical for people to experience it while on their back but I exclusively experience it while sleeping on my left side. I heard him open my door and my half asleep self thought it was someone I lived with returning something they borrowed or maybe letting a dog into my room that was feeling needy but I then heard him walk across the room, climb up to my bunk and sink into the bottom of the mattress. I could FEEL as he crawled up my bed to lay down behind me. He then started to make it very clear that he knew that I was awake and that he wanted me to turn around. I refused and he grew threatening. I thought if I pretended to sleep, didn't even try to move, that he would go away. He did not. We stayed like this for a long time before he finally gave up and left saying that he'd see me again some day.

When morning came and I woke up from the rather stressful dream produced by that fun interaction I instantly looked over at my bedroom door. Which was open. I sleep with the door closed. I thought it must have been a roommate and my dream was influenced by the sound of the door opening. Yeah, that was totally it. My therapist thought my conclusion was rather sound when I mentioned it though she thought it might be a good idea to sleep with my door locked for the next few nights just in case and to prevent myself from over thinking if he was real. It worked, I forgot about him. Or, rather, I didn't think about him. The memory has always been right there in the corner of my mind along with the eternal question of was it really sleep paralysis.

From what I've found, most sleep paralysis happens on your back. You also generally can't move while experiencing it but I can't confirm or deny if I could given my lack of movement being purposeful. But besides that something just felt.. off.

But I always just shrugged it off. It probably just felt weird because it was the first and only time I experienced it. I didn't know that I could get it or what it even felt like. And I felt fine the next day so maybe it was just the after shocks of stress messing with me.

Or at least I shrugged it off until recently.

Once again I had been under massive stress and once again he appeared 1-2 weeks after it cleared. Same sleeping position only with more splayed out arms. Same voice speaking to me. Only this time he was different. I heard him enter the room again, pad his way across the carpet and crawl onto my bed and right behind me. Only this time he snuggled into my back and laced our fingers together. Being lonely, I didn't entirely want it to stop but at the same time I KNEW that voice and it made me panic instantly. What lucid and non panicked thoughts I had made me realize it could be my chance to see if it was sleep paralysis and decided to try and wiggle my toes to slowly and subtly wake up. After all, a part of my sleepy brain still registered this as real and didn't want him to out right know I was awake. He wasn't exactly fond of that. He tried to shush me and calm me down and run his fingers down my cheek and neck and tell me to stop moving. My eyes were wide open this time and I stared at the wall as my breathing started to spike and he kept whispering promises and kind words into my ear as he kept telling me to stay asleep. That it would just be better if I just never woke up.

I can't remember what he said before I won but it's like my memory of it, even after just waking up, cuts off after him telling me to never wake up. I know I won whatever battle I had but something about it destroyed me.

Most of the day at work I felt miserable. I felt tired beyond belief and started to disassociate. I felt like a ghost drifting through life and like I could fade through any object. It was to the point that coworkers noticed and commented that I sounded, looked and acted nothing like myself. Something was very wrong. Then comes around 2 in the afternoon and I suddenly get the strangest second wind of my life. I'm more energized than I've been since I was a kid and the world seems brighter than it should be. So much so that I see spots but not in a migraine way. It's like there's suddenly lense flares on everything I see but without pain. Only brightness. And suddenly I hunger. More than I ever have in my life. The hunger doesn't go away through 4 meals and countless snacks worth of food. It still persists as I fall asleep that night and carried on till part of the next day.

I know I shouldn't want to experience it again but something about the entire thing made me want more. Whatever it is, sleep paralysis or otherwise, something is just strongly drawing me to try and bring it forth again. I need to feel that surge of energy again even if I have to power through feeling nearly dead. I felt like a whole different person and I crave it. Most of all, I crave to see him again or experience him again. I don't know why but I just feel this insane pull to almost trying to get myself to do this again just to see what he'll do next. It's crazy, I know but a part of me feels like he's something more.

I recently spoke to my dear friend and he feels like it might be something more and that it likely is not good. That this strange pull is a trap. That everything whatever this is has done should prove that I should at all costs avoid sleeping on that side or trying to experience this again. What he's trying to do (if he exists) is gaslight me into thinking he's something benevolent when it's very clear that he did something to me last time that drained me dry.

However, I still remain unsure. Despite the pull, I'm not even certain he's real. The curious part of me just wants to trigger this experience again in hopes of putting an end to the great "is it sleep paralysis" mystery while the wilder side of me hopes that it IS something and that perhaps we can see each other again. I don't know though.

Do any of you have any opinion on this mess or what it could all mean? And what could this be if not sleep paralysis?

TLDR: My "sleep paralysis demon" has both threatened me and tried to convince me to stay asleep and I'm not entirely sure he's even caused by sleep paralysis. Could he be something more? And why do I feel a serious tug to try and encounter him again?


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RedWine
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Do you have any protection companions? Have you tried discussing this with them and asking them how they feel about it and him?


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CuriousLolita
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I can't communicate with my companions. Never have been able to. Whatever this is is the only form of contact I've potentially had.


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RedWine
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Just talk to them in your head or out loud, they hear you even if you do not hear them. You can ask them to help protect you and they will they are in your life to help you and be a part of it.

Do you have house rules? I noticed you have some dark arts spirits and its important to have house rules setup. Ash has a nice dark arts house rules poster, i personally have it and really like it. You can just copy the rules and put them up somewhere and discuss with your companions if you are unable to purchase this for whatever reason.

https://shop.creepyhollows.com/HOUSE-RU ... ITIES.html

Are you working on developing your senses so you can communicate better?

You have some very strong protection companions and when you setup clear house rules they will know how they should be dealing with unbounds and many other situations it will help them to help you. That should help clear this up if this individual has malicious intentions.


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CuriousLolita
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If I could be anything, I would be...: a vampire
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I do have or had house rules and did try communicating at one point but I honestly stopped a while ago. Just talking to air only did so much for me before I just broke it all off completely and went silent. Well that mixed with work and stress and physical health issues. Communication just stopped becoming a thing I even think about. It just feels like a one way line and with everything that's happening in my life right now I don't think I really want to deal with that. I also do not do mental communication at all as I consider anything said in my head, even if directed at a person or entity, to be private and off limits. The woes of having absolutely no privacy as a child. You cling to what little you can get and my head is a place to remain untouched.

I would attempt to develop my senses or work on genuinely anything to help this along but there's just this bone dead tired that comes with endless failure that makes me just lose hope, you know? The only thing that's given me hope or made me want to move forward again with all this is that dream and strange pull. But again, it could just be nothing.


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RedWine
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Dark arts need house rules and you need to be able to know the truth of what is going on and be able to enforce your house rules if broken, dark arts are a responsibility and to be taken seriously. From what you have shared i feel you have jumped off the deep end too early with the companions you have chosen and where your personal development is at.

I feel like you need some uplifting loving caring energy which white arts will bring, have you considered or would you consider getting a Living Entity Binding - Custom Conjuration - Bronwyn Angel?

The have Omnipotence, Omniscience & Omnipresence and are white arts bringing that positive uplifting energy i feel you need. They have knowledge of all things and could use that to help you get on the right track and bring light into your life.


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Thyr
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You should really look into what's going on. It could be your companions who supported you with energy and not the other entitiy. They probably made up for what has been taken from you.
The way you describe everything sounds like a possible attack. I experienced a Succubus attack, that left me similarly drained and exhausted. There was no sexuality involved from her side, just draining, therefore it took me while to realize what was going on.

Regarding spirit communication: What did you try? Did you just rely on telepathy?
Best thing is always to figure out a medium that works for you and your companions, in case telepathy is not. Like oracle cards, tarot, bibliomancy, shufflemancy or a plain pendulum. Even if you're able to use telepathy, there are always times when one's energy or health could be off and telepathy won't work out. It's good to have something physical for communication then.


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CuriousLolita
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RedWine wrote: Mon Feb 21, 2022 6:38 am Dark arts need house rules and you need to be able to know the truth of what is going on and be able to enforce your house rules if broken, dark arts are a responsibility and to be taken seriously. From what you have shared i feel you have jumped off the deep end too early with the companions you have chosen and where your personal development is at.

I feel like you need some uplifting loving caring energy which white arts will bring, have you considered or would you consider getting a Living Entity Binding - Custom Conjuration - Bronwyn Angel?

The have Omnipotence, Omniscience & Omnipresence and are white arts bringing that positive uplifting energy i feel you need. They have knowledge of all things and could use that to help you get on the right track and bring light into your life.
I didn't exactly choose most of my companions as most came forward in reverse adoptions but I suppose I did get a little carried away with it all. Though that being said I don't think I'll be making any further purchases or be actively seeking out any other entities or beings for a long while. The initial spur has worn off and here I am nearing year 3 with all this (only nearing two on this site) with little to show for it development wise.I do appreciate the advice though. I never really tried heading towards anything white arts just due to the general clash in vibe. Which is strange to say but there's just a barrier there that I can't explain.

Maybe all of this just all isn't meant for me. You know?

All that being said though, I am feeling renewed in a sense and even if whatever I experienced was something else it hasn't decided to stick around or cause anything further (for the time being) and I am left to happily ride out whatever this feeling is.


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I first experienced sleep paralysis in 1976. Very weird. The thing about people being in the room with you and voices speaking etc. I have never been able to sleep on my back or front, so I was on my side.

It may have been sleep paralysis you experienced but if you've been visited by a malicious spirit, you really, really don't want to let them back in again. This raises issues of having protection in place.

I think you may do well to make a very clear decision about this.

You would do well to have as a minimum at least one specialist protection spirit, eg a Volkh. You can then task them to never let a malicious spirit or influence through.

There are protection spell bindings and items in the CH Shop too.

You can do a self protection before bed, which can help put your consciousness in a place less likely to let unwanted beings or influences through. In my opinion that also helps psychologically, with similar results, if it's a mental/psychological thing.

There are plenty of online resources for that kind of thing.

As has already been said, while asleep you can call on your protection spirits to kick out whatever being or influence is affecting you. If you keep having the experience, there's a possibility it is normal sleep paralysis after all.


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CuriousLolita wrote: Sat Feb 19, 2022 3:19 pm I can't communicate with my companions. Never have been able to. Whatever this is is the only form of contact I've potentially had.
No contact needed for volka. Anyways. This is not a good entity. There is clear signs or aka red flags man. The pull you feel. Could be a hex or a spell even. Not trying to scare you. You did a great job avoiding him.. but I'm afraid he probably got what he wanted anyways. When you were sleeping. Just a guess. I was on my side for some on my back for others.

The point is you felt it. You felt something was off you should trust your gut more my friend. A good entity would not be this creepy a good entity will knock or be in ur face. Typically negative beings like to be creepy she sneaky in my experiences. I did have a creepy experience when one positive being but I asked why she said u eouldnt have it any other way and I agreed you got me there.

Anyway.... protect yourself. Volkan is perfect they dont talk they just attach and protect and considered white arts I do suggest you do house rules for urself. Just incase. But this interaction doesnt seem like a spirit companion you would have instantly felt who this was. So this pull is strange. Unless the pull is someone else. Either way cord cutting letter during witching hour. If you dont want them coming around he sounds like a energy parasite wants u to fear to feed off you. You sure your not a star seed?


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