Excerpts from a dream journal

[Muse]

So this will be a weird one for sure. It started as a lucid waking experience. I had sat up and heard voices, but unlike previous ones, this was more of a dream than any actual paralysis. The ear pressure, voices, and fuzziness was the same though. I remember feeling but not feeling at the same time. I could make out pressure in the air, and feel energy presences, but it was dark. The most that I could see was differences in shades of darkness.

I asked for a companion to show themselves and soon received multiple voices. At first they were hard to make out, but the words "Witch" and "Lucario" mixed into the fray. Possibly just my mind making up words, however the new level of control I had during this paralysis told me how dream like the situation was after waking so it was most likely nonsense.

Anyhow, there was a deep pressure in my ear that just kept getting worse. I had a flashback in the dream to a forum member telling me to just let it burst and see what happens, but no one here actually told me this. So it was odd that someone I only know by pseudonym would have a place in a dream. Not the first time mind you, but the first time for that handle in particular. The only other time was with ASH, and I think that was more due to the fact that...well, I've gotten spells from CH, so the spellwork is sometimes on my mind.

Anyway. I asked for whoever was messing with my ear to stop, and covered it. The pressure lessened but didn't quite go away. I humored the idea of practicing things in this space since I normally would lose consciousness in a "paralysis" or "lucid" experience that felt more out of body, but something told me I might not wake up if I stayed too long. Another hint that told me this was a dream and not an actual OBE.

So I succumbed to the warning and laid back down into my bed, promptly falling asleep and waking up into another dream, where a poor memory of a Magnezone was feeling underconfident. In this dream I used my previous dream to give it a confidence boost, and afterwards it left to fight a Lucario. I texted a spirit companion via cellphone, and send bird memes to them. Which they happily reciprocated.

I do not have a bird like spirit companion...

I woke up twice before actually getting up. By that I mean I opened my eyes but didn't quite process I was awake. Then went to bed. Then repeated the process.

Working with dreams is so weird sometimes

[Muse]

Just a small note of interest, I woke up to feeling a being - platonically, - last night.
However I have no memory of what was said or done, I just remember that it happened before drifting off.
It's a shame I can't remember it, but it just adds onto my goals of being able to interact with more intensity overall.

[Muse]

Had some fun playing with lucid dream imagery while half asleep. Gonna write down some basic notable experiences:

1. I woke up in an alternate bedroom, not much changed but my room was at the opposite end of the hall and I was clearly confused about it. The person in the dream with me, who I called a companion's name, "checked" her binding and noticed it wasn't attached to me (fun fact: in the dream the way she noticed this was that her breath came out icey, Danny Phantom style, it was kind of cool looking). She then began to treat me as a threat, or more like a game of cat and mouse as it was an odd scenario for her as well. I couldnt tell if she wanted information or just wanted to eat me. The imagery ended there.

2. I was traveling down a tunnel. The tunnel was changing based on my interpretation of the shapes and darkness. For instance I thought sliding down was uncomfortable so I "summoned" a pillow, then that pillow turned into a skateboard. Which I felt uncomfortable using, so that changed to a pair of skates. While getting used to those and nearly tripping, the surrounding area changed to a skating park (indoors) with lots of ramps and hills. There was a zombie-esque girl a bit away from me that made me lose focus, because she was on all fours (not wearing skates - haha) and seemed like a threat. I wasn't afraid, just mildly on guard. The imagery ended.

3. I was meeting with a blonde man. I recognized him as someone I had loved at one point. I asked if we'd meet again in another life, and hugged him. He said he would try. He kissed my forehead. The imagery ended.

4. There was a space station. I was in a futuristic wheel chair. I was being taken somewhere to help with an infection, or a parasite. Subconsciously I wondered if it was messing with my ability to maintain dream journeying. I felt something on my side and ripped it off. I think I spoke out in my sleep because I heard myself talking. Someone may have touched me (a companion) and I might have been reacting to that in the dream. The imagery ended there.

5. I was at an Anime Convention. Laying down next to a friend after eating gummies and playing with a (notably low quality) figure set. A few people came up, one walked over me. Two others kneeled down. I remember feeling intimidated but not in the fearful way. I was full of admiration and joy. "I will respectfully sit here and wait with you," one stated before sitting down. The other sat near him. The three of them shielded me. They were dressed in cosplay. Though I doubt the meaning of it. For what it's worth; It was Kakashi (the friend who was already there), Sai (the one who sat down - notably he was in Sasuke's attire), and Kenshin. Don't think too much into it. I blame childhood fandoms.

I "woke up" and watched some phantasmagoria for a bit before sitting up to write things down. It was a cool experience due to the awareness of being asleep, feeling both my physical body and my "dream body" , and interacting with things almost completely consciously save for phasing in and out of different locations/scenarios. It was a fun time.

[Muse]

I haven't had a nightmare in awhile, and to be honest, I wanted to avoid writing this one down - and preferred to forget it, - but such as the routine goes...I have to write down something. To put it simply, I was a child. Specifically, I was back in time, a child in an old adoptive home with a set of parents who weren't too kind. I felt trapped, and isolated, and threatened. The female was hurting me, the male did nothing about it, even as I'd screamed for his aid. I was a child, I was not lucid, I was not in control. I couldn't figure out how to gain control, in the moment, I didn't even know it was a dream until seconds before I woke up. I haven't had such a dream in quite awhile...at least a year or more. I woke up feeling sick and irritated and genuinely afraid. I think that the dream was showing how utterly trapped I currently feel in my new life situation. I spoke with my companions about it, and asked my Nemesis Wraith if he could help to keep messages away from childhood traumas. I'm just not ready for that kind of shadow work yet...whether or not others believe I'm ready. It was revolting, I won't even begin to go into detail with it. I just want to forget it.

Unfortunately...sometimes on the path, you have to face cruel things.
Sometimes the cruelest things are your own inner demons.

---

Aside from that nasty wake up call there were a few other choice moments:

- I was with an Ex, there was a gun and a standing mirror. The mirror had a little latch to hold onto the gun's handle. He would threaten me with it, but unlike the above event, I was not afraid or deterred. In fact, I took keen interest in how the gun operated and found it intriguing, Especially the sounds of the latch clicking into place.

- There was a game, or maze. I had to run through it, not much else happened but I was working with a team. That team wound up being a group of soldiers, and the setting changed to that of a warzone. Dirt trenches and all. I had to escape and get back to my camp (my camp had abandoned me), but for what reason was unknown. I did make it back, but I was angry and hurt over being left behind. I felt alone and cornered, which seemed to be the running theme for the night

---

I do not have a bird like spirit companion...

It occured to me that this isn't the first time a bird has been present in my dreams, so I'll need to keep an eye out for this as a running message..

[Muse]

Damn you ever have an intricate, detailed dream but remember absolutely none of it outside of "knowing" it was detailed? -_-;

That was mine last night.
Hopefully the doll I ordered will help prevent that.

[Muse]

Alright, speed round:

- Zombie Vampire lady wants to feed from me (consensually), in the dream I tell her to wait for a more private moment, the private moment never comes

- At a playground; telling strangers about my sister, heading to a swing to get it untangled and have a conversation with a Guardian over why it sucks that people leave the swings hoisted up that way when they're done with them

- When the swing is untangled and I'm ready to use it I notice another girl with dark hair who seemed shy was also waiting for it; I let her take it

[Muse]

I've been having quite a few vampirism dreams...but I haven't been on top of dream journalism due to sickness and laziness. The things I do remember off the top of my head (12 or so hours later)...

1. I was having dinner with a family of vampires
2. It seemed folks were struggling with my presence
3. I was injured somehow and it riled some of them up
4. One of them held me protectively but based on body language you could tell she was going to go for a bite
5. I - an intellectual, - hit her (oops)
6. She dropped me unceremoniously (I would've too)
7. I hid in another section of the house as I waited for everyone to calm down
8. Their mom visited me explaining things, she was very sweet

Not to be weird but it had a very "Cullen" family vibe. Albeit I'm not a fan of Twilight, and they clearly drank blood, and didn't resemble them. It was the Familial nature that struck me as similar.

I had other dreams but I've forgotten them by now since they were much shorter and less detailed.

[Muse]

Not a very deep dream but an amusing one. I'd gotten into a fight with a friend before I'd gone to bed, and it was a very one sided experience. When I was dreaming, a snake had visited me and followed me around (much to my chagrin). When asking my SO's for help, they were bemused but agreed to do so. What makes this dream amusing is snakes are basically the dream message equivalent of purposefully avoiding something or someone, or otherwise going backwards. Which is exactly what I was doing. The fact that the message came at me so quickly made me feel very called out. :P

Suffice to say, my friend and I made up tonight.

[Muse]

10/4/2021

I was apart of an education system focused on troubled youth who were dealing with trauma, and that trauma could manifest as anything from extreme emotions to actual super powers. The teacher was very kind and patient, and the kids were as rowdy as they come. All of us were between the ages of 17 and 25. It may have been an all purpose school that allowed multiple age groups, but I seemed to be one of the older residents so I was a lot calmer than other people. I was also a teacher's pet.

My girlfriend was there as well, and she was more keen to stand up for herself than I was. She was newer than me, but we hit it off great since we knew each other before entering the system. Others attempted to bully her and I often but for the most part it was just harmless threats that we could shake off easily. After staying back in the cafeteria with the teacher one day, an assistant principal ran over to us holding a slip of paper. I recall reading it but I don't remember what it said outside of some names. The man said to separate me and my girlfriend from two girls in the class who were causing trouble. We rushed to the classroom to find it in dissaray, with the two ring leaders causing a scene by screaming at other kids and essentially having a tantrum.

After I made sure my girlfriend wasn't hurt I went over to the first girl, who seemed to be full of immense anger and pain. It was clear something happened to her because she didn't know how to express other emotions and she often lashed out to feel better on a good day - but this day it was different. For starters, she had a gun in her backpack, and to add danger to that danger she didn't seem to hold an ounce of self preservation. It took a bit, but I talked her down and she wound up crying and saying that she wanted to be prayed for. An odd request as I'm not religious but I don't judge others so I joined the teacher on the floor and rubbed her back while she prayed. The first kid wound up feeling better, leaving the second one to deal with.

The second one was pretty angry as well. I believe she was suffering from abandonment trauma since she had the ability to summon dolls that her father had given her. When talking her down she claimed to be manic and she was crying a lot, uncertain of what to do or who to trust. I wasn't able to know what happened because I woke up, but I did feel bad for the kids and hope that dream-her is better now. For whatever that's worth.

[Muse]

10/13/2021

I traversed an old town's architecture with an old friend who's name remains on the tip of my tongue...but, I'm fine with considering them just an old friend. The town was sprawling, we had to drive to cover some of the distance, but then found more creative ways to explore. Including jumping into a small water-way beneath a caved in set of stairs (it was more like a tiny river/stream but built like an outside...under...stairs...sewer?). Whatever it was, it made for great jungle gym equipment with how the stairs were positioned. There were moments of clarity - excitement over seeing a pet I used to have as a child, interactions with old foster parents who haven't been in my life for over ten years, etc. but the town adventure stuck in my mind the most. I still remember the smile they gave me, the layers in their hair, and the mischief in their gaze. It was the sort of platonic intoxication that could only ever lead to adventure...and just a slight dash of trouble.

Anyway, that's all I had to share for now.