My spiritual awakening, releasing doubt, and developing telepathy

[Thyr]

I was a high priestess of Isis. From the other women you describe I would assume, that those could have been novices and other priestesses, like I remember them from Isis' temple. Or the personal guards. Every high priestess had at least one personal guard. Maybe one of your other spirits is a guard you had back then. (They never had an intimate or sexual bond with a priestess, because it would weaken their attention for potential danger. They were connected by a deep friendship, they were literally ready to die for you.)
Like I mentioned I am sharing the memory of this lifetime with some friends I met about 15 years ago and all of them had at least one spirit visiting them, who was someone close to them back then, who did not incarnate into a human body.

Anyway, you're doing good grounding yourself and focusing on the present time and life. I had been swept away by my memories for several months when they came and it influenced my life in a not so positive way.

[BlueLotusOracle]

That is so beautiful. It gives me hope that I will finally allow myself to get this close with my spirits.

Can I ask where you found the pendulum spell? I had a rough day yesterday with my pendulum.

viewtopic.php?f=173&t=54117

This is how I blessed my pendulum. If you scroll down the first page, you will see they describe the process for the pendulum and it WORKS. Of course, NOW I can't because Anubis won't let me. Last night, I was with my vampire J cleaning out my altar and preparing a few things, and I asked J, "Do you think if I got on the board he'd get on? I bet he will." So, I ended up getting on it briefly to ask the pendulum what I can use it for instead, and then asked, "Who's on the board?" J came through and said, "You better get off before--" And then here comes Anubis spelling his name out and asking what I'm doing. He said he heard me joking with J and then thanked me for just "being myself," which is a goal he wanted to work on with me. There's a communication spread for tarot that I use that Anubis and me communicated. He LOVES tarot cards. I asked him that same day on the board if he liked "playing cards" with me and he spelled out, "No, hated it." LOL He's hilarious. I love him. I'd have to dig the communication spread up, though. It may be under the Connecting subforum here.

Thank you! I've had some success using tarot cards. I've been looking for spreads to try. I just fund one yesterday that I'm going to try out.

[santiesgirl]

I was a high priestess of Isis. From the other women you describe I would assume, that those could have been novices and other priestesses, like I remember them from Isis' temple. Or the personal guards. Every high priestess had at least one personal guard. Maybe one of your other spirits is a guard you had back then. (They never had an intimate or sexual bond with a priestess, because it would weaken their attention for potential danger. They were connected by a deep friendship, they were literally ready to die for you.)
Like I mentioned I am sharing the memory of this lifetime with some friends I met about 15 years ago and all of them had at least one spirit visiting them, who was someone close to them back then, who did not incarnate into a human body.

Anyway, you're doing good grounding yourself and focusing on the present time and life. I had been swept away by my memories for several months when they came and it influenced my life in a not so positive way.

Hmm, that's interesting. I wonder if my djinn was that type of guard. She seems to be in service to Anubis, as she refers to him as "Master" so maybe. But she also called herself my djinn from a past life, so I'll have to ask her later. I think there's definitely something calling to me. Anubis, I read, is associated with vampires and the CH listing "Book of the Dead Egyptian Vampires" seems to call to me. Anubis said no new spirits though. He wants me to form a much deeper bond with the ones I have before I bring more into my life. He knows me TOO WELL LOL. I browse through them a lot, and I'll hear him say, "No new spirits, child." And I'm like can't I just LOOK. So maybe there's something there with this calling. I've always been drawn to death and vampires and wolves. I actually read, after my awakening, that Anubis is NOT based on a Jackal. They've come to find out he's based on the African wolf, which was believed to be just a different variant of the jackal, and I have a deep LOVE for wolves ever since I was a child. I'd write stories about them and dream of owning one someday.

My spirits are very kind and make sure I'm able to calm down. When I had my panic attack in the shower, my Gancanagh B was in there with me and told me to get in bed with him so I could hold on to someone who's real and feel their human energies (ironically my fiancé is an Earth sign, and I've always said he keeps me grounded). I told him I would after the shower since I'd already started washing my hair, and I'm just in there like crying. No idea why. Just so scared. And I'm serious, not even a few moments later, my fiancé pulls the shower curtain back and asks if I'm okay. He said he just woke up, no idea why, and then came to pee and heard me crying in the shower, repeating, "This can't be real." He held my hand and I instantly felt better. Then K came in and apologized, saying Anubis didn't mean it. Then Anubis came and apologized outside the shower, telling me he'd turn communication off with my spirits for awhile and let me just ground. It was intense, but they take good care of me.

I'm so sorry your awakening really messed with you and influenced you in a not so positive way. That honestly makes me really sad. I hope your okay now, and I hope Isis was as kind and gentle as Anubis has been with me. I'm sure she has; I have not been in her presence, only his and Ra's, but just from what I know she seems so kind and gentle. I personally know how scary it is to be shown these things and to feel this awesome power. To see plain as day your life from beyond. I've seen myself through J's eyes. I've seen myself through Anubis' eyes. It shakes you deeply. Sweeps you off your feet almost. I don't know what you saw or what Isis showed you, Egypt was a very taboo place and I was shown things that are... unconventional and quite shocking. Things that most modern people like us could not handle seeing. So I understand why you'd feel that way. It's so jarring.

[santiesgirl]

Thank you! I've had some success using tarot cards. I've been looking for spreads to try. I just fund one yesterday that I'm going to try out.

You're very welcome! I'm so happy I could provide you with that. That should keep most unbounds and spirits away from it. I'm gonna be consecrating mine to use with energy work and dowsing tomorrow night, during the full moon, and I'd suggest you do that as well. Then, it comes becomes a sacred tool and will be much harder to influence. I may have a link for consecrating the pendulum, too, if you're interested.

You can also, if you still have trouble with the pendulum, have a spell performed by CH that designates certain tools for speaking with White or Dark Art entities. I think there's also a CH listing for a spelled Pendulum of accuracy. I didn't use these, and that spell worked for me.

[Thyr]

Hmm, that's interesting. I wonder if my djinn was that type of guard. She seems to be in service to Anubis, as she refers to him as "Master" so maybe. But she also called herself my djinn from a past life, so I'll have to ask her later.

Not all guards were human. The first guard I remember was actually a demon. (One of those pretty dark and fierce, but also really charming and friendly ones.)

I think there's definitely something calling to me. Anubis, I read, is associated with vampires and the CH listing "Book of the Dead Egyptian Vampires" seems to call to me. Anubis said no new spirits though. He wants me to form a much deeper bond with the ones I have before I bring more into my life. He knows me TOO WELL LOL. I browse through them a lot, and I'll hear him say, "No new spirits, child." And I'm like can't I just LOOK. So maybe there's something there with this calling.

I know exactly how you feel.
I keep returning to the shop over and over again, browsing, reading, looking, adding way to much to my wishlist... and always feeling my Gryphon and Sterling Angel in my back, rolling their eyes. My Sterling Angel even told me to start saving for my retirement through a Youtube video. (She sometimes uses my laptop.)
But there is still something calling. Like the Canotila. I remember being friends with one from that lifetime, when I was in Isis' service.

My spirits are very kind and make sure I'm able to calm down. When I had my panic attack in the shower, my Gancanagh B was in there with me and told me to get in bed with him so I could hold on to someone who's real and feel their human energies (ironically my fiancé is an Earth sign, and I've always said he keeps me grounded). I told him I would after the shower since I'd already started washing my hair, and I'm just in there like crying. No idea why. Just so scared. And I'm serious, not even a few moments later, my fiancé pulls the shower curtain back and asks if I'm okay. He said he just woke up, no idea why, and then came to pee and heard me crying in the shower, repeating, "This can't be real." He held my hand and I instantly felt better. Then K came in and apologized, saying Anubis didn't mean it. Then Anubis came and apologized outside the shower, telling me he'd turn communication off with my spirits for awhile and let me just ground. It was intense, but they take good care of me.

It's good to hear, that they are able to comfort and support you. It's hard to explain to someone else, who might not even believe in the things you do or would not be able to grasp them. They are really precious.

I'm so sorry your awakening really messed with you and influenced you in a not so positive way. That honestly makes me really sad. I hope your okay now, and I hope Isis was as kind and gentle as Anubis has been with me. I'm sure she has; I have not been in her presence, only his and Ra's, but just from what I know she seems so kind and gentle. I personally know how scary it is to be shown these things and to feel this awesome power. To see plain as day your life from beyond. I've seen myself through J's eyes. I've seen myself through Anubis' eyes. It shakes you deeply. Sweeps you off your feet almost. I don't know what you saw or what Isis showed you, Egypt was a very taboo place and I was shown things that are... unconventional and quite shocking. Things that most modern people like us could not handle seeing. So I understand why you'd feel that way. It's so jarring.

It was quite chaotic. First of all I suddenly felt a demon by my side, who said he'll stay with me and won't leave me, as long as I needed his protection. Until then I had no contact with any dark or black arts spirit and was quite shocked. But he was so kind and his energy was the kind of comforting dark presence, like a beautiful summer night. His presence felt fierce at first, because he was a demon commander or even general (I never asked what he exactly was, I found that to be kind of rude.) and I needed to get used to him. He was with me, because he had made an oath to his brother (my guard from my past life).
A while later I had my awakening and it just blew me off my feet. So many memories, so much sadness and trauma all at once. There was a war going on and I had lost way too much loved ones. My significant other (who was also my kindred spirit) was assassinated, my adoptive daughter was killed during a raid, I witnessed my demon guard being eleminated by something my mind is still not able to grasp and I was also the target of an assassination attempt. Everything was so clear, all the scenes, all the emotions. It was really hard to process and I might not have been able to live through this without my demon friend by my side and Isis' support. She wasn't present all the time, but whenever I called to her, she flooded me with warm and positive energy. Like the hug of a loving mother. That's why I'm so glad your spirits are there for you and able to comfort you.

[santiesgirl]

Not all guards were human. The first guard I remember was actually a demon. (One of those pretty dark and fierce, but also really charming and friendly ones.)

I finally got around to asking, and yes, she was a guard. She's actually a fairly fierce protector. She keeps everyone in line for sure, when my boys start fighting over something small lol.

It was quite chaotic. First of all I suddenly felt a demon by my side, who said he'll stay with me and won't leave me, as long as I needed his protection. Until then I had no contact with any dark or black arts spirit and was quite shocked. But he was so kind and his energy was the kind of comforting dark presence, like a beautiful summer night. His presence felt fierce at first, because he was a demon commander or even general (I never asked what he exactly was, I found that to be kind of rude.) and I needed to get used to him. He was with me, because he had made an oath to his brother (my guard from my past life).
A while later I had my awakening and it just blew me off my feet. So many memories, so much sadness and trauma all at once. There was a war going on and I had lost way too much loved ones. My significant other (who was also my kindred spirit) was assassinated, my adoptive daughter was killed during a raid, I witnessed my demon guard being eleminated by something my mind is still not able to grasp and I was also the target of an assassination attempt. Everything was so clear, all the scenes, all the emotions. It was really hard to process and I might not have been able to live through this without my demon friend by my side and Isis' support. She wasn't present all the time, but whenever I called to her, she flooded me with warm and positive energy. Like the hug of a loving mother. That's why I'm so glad your spirits are there for you and able to comfort you.

I am so sad for you. That sounds absolutely harrowing and so gut-wrenchingly sad. My spirits and I who share a life together seem to have suffered through great tragedies as well, with each of my lovers really finding life almost meaningless after my passing. I am so sorry, but I am glad that Isis and your guard was there with you as you went through all of these memories.

I do have a question: when these memories returned, were they just random? Were you just performing mundane tasks and then suddenly, a thought popped into your head? I ask because I was cleaning on Saturday preparing for the full moon, and as I'm trying to put my protection bracelet back on, I just get hit with this overwhelming sensation that I was a vampire in that lifetime. No idea where it came from, and it just led me down a path to discover some other memories. Is this common?

[Thyr]

I do have a question: when these memories returned, were they just random? Were you just performing mundane tasks and then suddenly, a thought popped into your head? I ask because I was cleaning on Saturday preparing for the full moon, and as I'm trying to put my protection bracelet back on, I just get hit with this overwhelming sensation that I was a vampire in that lifetime. No idea where it came from, and it just led me down a path to discover some other memories. Is this common?

Yes, there's often a subconscious trigger, like a song, a scent or even just the way the sun- or moonlight feels on your skin at a certain moment. The memories don't come in any order, they'll just pop into your mind, often leaving you a bit confused.
I found a lot of songs describing parts of this past life. I don't know if it were just coincidences or if the songwriter somehow was influenced by scenes from my/our memories or even part of them.

[pokemonsavage]

just my personal opinion , i think you might be being messed with by a trickster , i had one come into my house Pretend to be a god , take control of the board , force telepathy on me and imitated my entire keep with said telepathy ,saying i was a profit and had a gift was STUPID sweet and nice in the beginning until i found out what it was , and even if i would use the board he would take over , see if one of the people you bought your spirits from can contact them for you to see whats happening , just trying to help not trying to be mean or say its not true , i would hate to see another life messed up by this , please stay safe

[Lolfuntime]

Where did you get your Gancanagh B

[BlueLotusOracle]

Where did you get your Gancanagh B

TheMoonDragon on Etsy
viewtopic.php?p=820994#p820994