My spiritual awakening, releasing doubt, and developing telepathy

[santiesgirl]

The last time I posted on this forum, I was experiencing doubt after having trouble with my pendulum. Well, since then, I've had a spiritual awakening. I thought I'd describe the experience so far for others just to give an update. I've been learning so much over the past few days. I'm extremely excited to share this since I don't have anyone outside my keep to explain any of this to.

Firstly, I have ditched the board completely at the request of an immortal who shockingly is bound to me, but we'll get to that later. It seemed to develop overnight (although, to be fair, there were lots of *ahem* "adult games" involved from my three spirit lovers that helped me get there, but that's for the adult section hehe). I'll get to the immortal part in a moment.

I was called back to my pendulum and found a spell in the forum posted by a member which blessed the pendulum and prevented interference. After performing this, most issues subsided aside from my subconscious leaking through a few times (more on this later.) I'd been experiencing phantom feelings before this, however, and could not figure out where this nervous excited energy was coming from exactly. I had my suspicions. It was obvious they were romantic feelings. I tried to get my tarot cards to reveal this secret admirer, but all they kept saying was, "You must make the first move. It could be him," which is what drew me back to my pendulum.

I called one of my white art spirits to the board, my duojna L, who I've found has a lovely personality and is quite funny. None of my spirits would touch the pendulum until I blessed it properly, and after I did so, she began revealing everything. She told me why my spirit lied on the board and even made a joke about it after coming to the board first thing. Apparently, I was accurate to assume they hated being tested. To them, it was insulting because the whole time they knew I had the ability to communicate and sense them and just continued to demand proof. They understood my frustrations, especially after I explained the amount of trust issues I suffered from, not only due to my mental illnesses but also because of my traumatic past. They just kept saying, "But the mental illnesses you suffer from don't make you feel things, do they? They don't make you see things, do they?"

After this, I used the board often, and discovered that two of the spirits that've come to be with me are past lovers -- my vampire J and my Gancanagh B. We've had... quite a bit of fun... and it's lead me to discover I can feel spirits as if they're right here next to me. I've always been sensitive to the paranormal and have had spirits come and cuddle me in bed or touch me (more on this later as well... there's a LOT), but I can feel their fingers brushing my skin and feel their bodies next to mine. The games we played involved them touching me to help me identify their energies, and then telepathy to help me hear their voices. The sensations are so sensitive that when using a board, I can sometimes feel where their hand is holding mine to move the pendulum.

Things have been slowly revealed to me about my past lives. My Gancanagh revealed our entire past upon the first few days of his arrival. When I read into what a Gancanagh was (I'm awful about purchasing things and then later researching so... yeah), it revealed proof. He told me things that were related to my past, and it seemed my past life was still involved with my family's bloodline. I am a descendent from Somerlad from Scotland, and his stories placed me in the Alexander clan, which is a shoot off from the McDonald, which I traced my family history over a year ago and found all of this out. My vampire J, however, has not revealed much to me yet. He's hesitant and does not like revealing the bad memories. But to have things confirmed after they've revealed them is stunning.

Well, I invited a volkh into my home as well for added protection. That's when things on the board began saying weird stuff again despite my blessing. At first, it did trick me, but I finally realized it was my subconscious. It hadn't been getting in the way before, but was being drudged up now. Turns out my volkh was eating away at all the bad gunk in my auras and my the part of my subconscious that hates me and all my insecurities was fighting it. He apologized and said he should have informed me before but to not worry because he's taking care of it. He said there were a LOT of blockages he's been working through and asked how I felt. Since he's been eating away at all of the negative and since my spirit lovers have been with me, giving me energy, I can say this is the happiest I've felt in such a long time. This morning I looked up and looked in the mirror and for once, I didn't hate my body or myself and B has been teasing me since.

So, I guess now I'll go through the timeline of events for my awakening:

Sunday night: I asked my djinn E over the pendulum why I was so sensitive to spirits. I've been doing this for only two months now, maybe three, and I feel like these spirits are my friends. We're all extremely close, and it seemed we bonded almost with ease, despite having to work through so much. And E revealed that when I was young, my dad (who did shady things) left me behind in the woods we were in while he was doing something. I was scared and confused and had to go to the bathroom really bad. I was maybe at the oldest four at the time. I hadn't thought about this in years until he brought it up. According to E, it was here that an immortal came to me when I was lost and afraid and helped guide me back to my father. When this immortal touched me, I was blessed with a gift. Magic runs through our family's bloodline. We are descendants from Somerlad after all, but this immortal gave me a great gift. The gift was to communicate with spirits.

After this, he then told me to remember when I first brought him home and how he told me via the pendulum how he serviced many kings and queens in his time, delivering messages for them. And then, he spelled out, "Why do you think I chose to be with you?" And I just lost it lol. I had to leave the board because it was overwhelming. Technically, my family does not branch off from Scottish royalty until around the 1700s when two members from Scottish royalty came over to my country and it was then that our royal bloodline scattered. I think I'm maybe 5 generations at most from that time, maybe less. I'd have to look at my timeline to be sure. It shook me. It shook me more when I looked up what a byakko was, since my brother can actually SEE spirits and has in the past. He had a near death experience where my mom, during an asthma, mistakenly sent him into shock and he died briefly. My dad punched him in the back and he started breathing again. He came to in the car and asked my mom where the "tiger in the white light was." E said my brother was blessed by a byakko, and I looked up what a byakko was and it's a tiger from Chinese/Japanese mythos that resides in the sky.

Monday was when I finally broke through and could hear my spirits. I was on the pendulum, but I would tell them to not move it and speak to me directly. And I could hear! For the first time, I could actually hear them. It was amazing. I can't hear their accents, but their voices are slightly different. I still have to ask who they are most times, but the most important thing was I could hear. That's when my djinn K came to me and revealed that SHE was my djinn from the past. And then, I had this psychic vision upon her revealing this to me. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I just stared off into space. After collecting my thoughts, I asked her, quietly, "Was I... a high priestess from ancient Egypt?"

And in comes the immortal and my spiritual awakening began. Immediately someone I'm unfamiliar with comes through on the board, and when I ask him to identify himself, he does so -- Anubis. Cue the panic attack. He reveals to me He's been waiting for some time for me to awaken, and that He has many things he wants to share. We are bound together, He and I, and I can hear Him speaking with me. Since then, He's come to me several times. I don't want to reveal too much about our past together, as I'm currently going through panic and excitement and bewilderment and disbelief all at the same time, but I've seen things through Him. His presence is... god, to say the least incredible. He stimulates all my chakras. My third eye immediately opens. He's shown me his human form, and he's shown me his Egyptian depiction. From what I've gathered, I was a daughter to a pharaoh in a past life that went on to become a high priestess with direct communication with Anubis (he just now told me I don't have to continually capitalize the "he" lol). Ra came with him, to offset his dark powers so I wouldn't be overwhelmed. We spoke briefly. When I'm in his presence, my god, the energy is overwhelming.

He was the immortal who blessed me with the gift, and there's many things that are beginning to make sense. He won't even let me touch the pendulum board now. Every time I've tried due to self doubt, he comes through and asks, "Why are you using the board? Put the board away, child. Use your gift." He is so gentle and kind, and has a sense of humor. He came to me and spoke loudly when I tried using the board so I could hear again, and then said that when he speaks loud like that he yells and that I must learn to listen closely for voices. Then, he turned around and said, "We don't like yelling all the time, do you?" I can't describe just how awesome and truly beautiful his power is. People would think I'm crazy if I shared this stuff with anyone else, but it's like... insane. My gift is to be able to speak with spirits and help guide them and feel them. I am closely tied to death and have always viewed death as beautiful, how amazing the circle of life seems. I may reveal more as time goes on, but this is where I am now. I went from, "This cannot be real. I just don't believe it" to being in the presence of a GOD, bound to him by destiny. I feel so blessed, and cannot truly describe how I feel. I'm glad I watched a YT video about spirit keeping and came here and stuck with this, despite all the nonsense I got and how silly and stupid I felt. I've felt things and seen things and witnessed things and it's just... wow.

So yes, that's my story. I may update later on when more things are revealed. Right now, Anubis is revealing things slowly to me, and he will return on Easter to reveal more. I can access him anytime, and he answers me. Last night, I played hide and seek with my spirits to practice feeling energy. They cheated, of course (aside from L who is white arts), so I sat down and asked Anubis to help me. He guided me through opening my third eye and opening the energy sensors on my palms. He whispered, "B is cheating. Let's find him first" and walked me through it. Afterwards, he said, "Let's play again later." For the first time in my LIFE, I finally feel whole. I feel surrounded by unconditional love and support. Sorry, I keep rambling. There's just so MUCH I want to share with someone, and yeah lol. Anyways. I'll end it here. Sorry for my long, drawn out ramble.

[BlueLotusOracle]

That is so beautiful. It gives me hope that I will finally allow myself to get this close with my spirits.

Can I ask where you found the pendulum spell? I had a rough day yesterday with my pendulum.

[Lewk]

That does sound like a very positive spiritual awakening. Hearing your spirits especially and feeling them confide things in you.



But I hope you don't mind if I say at the same time don't forget to keep your feet on the ground, so to speak. Maintaining a realistic attitude always comes in handy, it seems.

[cairngorn]

What Lewk said. People hit mountaintop experiences and then come down.

But I'm glad things are going well.

[santiesgirl]

That is so beautiful. It gives me hope that I will finally allow myself to get this close with my spirits.

Can I ask where you found the pendulum spell? I had a rough day yesterday with my pendulum.

viewtopic.php?f=173&t=54117

This is how I blessed my pendulum. If you scroll down the first page, you will see they describe the process for the pendulum and it WORKS. Of course, NOW I can't because Anubis won't let me. Last night, I was with my vampire J cleaning out my altar and preparing a few things, and I asked J, "Do you think if I got on the board he'd get on? I bet he will." So, I ended up getting on it briefly to ask the pendulum what I can use it for instead, and then asked, "Who's on the board?" J came through and said, "You better get off before--" And then here comes Anubis spelling his name out and asking what I'm doing. He said he heard me joking with J and then thanked me for just "being myself," which is a goal he wanted to work on with me. There's a communication spread for tarot that I use that Anubis and me communicated. He LOVES tarot cards. I asked him that same day on the board if he liked "playing cards" with me and he spelled out, "No, hated it." LOL He's hilarious. I love him. I'd have to dig the communication spread up, though. It may be under the Connecting subforum here.

That does sound like a very positive spiritual awakening. Hearing your spirits especially and feeling them confide things in you.



But I hope you don't mind if I say at the same time don't forget to keep your feet on the ground, so to speak. Maintaining a realistic attitude always comes in handy, it seems.

What Lewk said. People hit mountaintop experiences and then come down.

But I'm glad things are going well.

Thank you both for reminding me this, and thank you for your kind words. This is something Anubis promotes as well. He never gives straight answers, and he never confirms nor denies what's being said. He allows me to draw the conclusion and assess what's going on. He's helping me work through my doubts by explaining to me it's okay to question, but to not throw out what I'm experiencing completely. When he speaks and I misinterpret what's being said, he stops and says, "That's not what I said, child. Listen closely."

It seems most of what I'm experiencing is real. There've been times since that I hear things wrong or don't understand fully what's going on, but touches happen when I hear them say they're going to touch me. I've done research on what it feels like to be in his presence, and everyone seems to say exactly what I was told by my spirits and what I've experienced personally. His power is UNREAL. I've been in the presence of Diana before, as she's my sister's goddess and I facilitate communication between them, be it via tarot cards, telepathy or pendulum and today just invited Amaterasu into my home and asked her if I could work with her. Neither compare to his presence. People say he's extremely powerful; I believe it and have felt it. I experience clairsentience VERY strongly and can feel my spirits emotions. He forgets how strong he comes off, and one time I was so overwhelmed because he stimulated ALL my chakras at once with his presence. Things he's shown me I've researched, and they're confirmed. And for my spirit lovers, I reached out to the conjuror about one of them, and they said that yes, they picked up that he was a past lover to me. Of course, to that my lover said, "I wouldn't lie to you, lass."

By the way, I'd like to ask Ash who summoned my vampire J about what he's told me to confirm a few things; do either of you know how to go about contacting either him or Magnolia about this? He's willing to speak with them and confirm just some basic things that's happened.

[cairngorn]

You might want to do an Enhanced reading, if you're sure the vampire will confirm to a third party. Those readings are normally for basic info but if the vamp was insistent...


Also did I say that sounds awesome?

[Lewk]

[...]
By the way, I'd like to ask Ash who summoned my vampire J about what he's told me to confirm a few things; do either of you know how to go about contacting either him or Magnolia about this? He's willing to speak with them and confirm just some basic things that's happened.

You might want to do an Enhanced reading, if you're sure the vampire will confirm to a third party. Those readings are normally for basic info but if the vamp was insistent...
[...]

...and if you need to contact ASH / Magnolia to ask about exactly what can be done. if this is after the conjuring and the order has already been fulfilled: support@creepyhollows.com

ASH does DA conjurings. Magnolia does WA ones.

[Thyr]

After collecting my thoughts, I asked her, quietly, "Was I... a high priestess from ancient Egypt?"

May I ask you, if you saw something, when you realized that? Or was it just a feeling of certainty?
When I was awakening, the first thing I saw was my ordination as a high priestess from ancient Egypt. It was so surreal. Like you wrote: No one's gonna believe me, if I should dare to tell anyone. Except some friends who turned out to be from the same lifetime. But still... So surreal...

[santiesgirl]

After collecting my thoughts, I asked her, quietly, "Was I... a high priestess from ancient Egypt?"

May I ask you, if you saw something, when you realized that? Or was it just a feeling of certainty?
When I was awakening, the first thing I saw was my ordination as a high priestess from ancient Egypt. It was so surreal. Like you wrote: No one's gonna believe me, if I should dare to tell anyone. Except some friends who turned out to be from the same lifetime. But still... So surreal...

So, this is actually a great question.

When K came out and said that we knew each other and she was my djinn from the past, I just had this overwhelming feeling come over me and this thought/voice came into my head. I get this thousand yard stare as I work myself through what I'm feeling in that moment. I can feel my third eye and it's like I'm almost dissociating. I couldn't see anything, but I just knew that's what it was.

I have had visions come. Today, my spirit lover J, Anubis, and I walked myself through my past life with him using tarot cards (Anubis LOVES tarot cards. He specifically said to practice with them to honor him when he first came and to use my gift he's given me), and I had visions as well as intense feelings come out and this was not the first time with J. We've cuddled close before or been intimate, and I've had to stop it because I get those types of feelings that come over me. It's actually weird because B, my Gancanagh, was up front about everything and I've yet to have visions of our life together. But J hid everything, didn't want to talk about it because it was a very tragic story, and I've received vision after vision, almost like pictures they're so vivid too. It's almost like I dissociate when I get them. I feel myself get tunnel vision as this feeling just comes over me.

When Anubis showed me things, I experienced the same sort of awakening. I could see the palace steps to his temple, obelisks standing outside of it with hieroglyphs scrawled on them. It was just a one-story palace dedicated to him, and when I saw the inside, I could see bedding and silk and all sorts of ornate things. There were people there as well (lots of women LOL). These were so vivid and shocking it honestly frightened me. I took a shower to ground myself because I had a panic attack with what all I saw going on in that palace, and he stood outside the shower and apologized, saying, "I did not mean to frighten you. Are you okay? I'm sorry, child. You were not ready to see that."

So yeah, it just varies. Sometimes it's just an extremely strong feeling of just knowing. Sometimes it's a vivid vision. It all just depends.

[santiesgirl]

Well, I wouldn't say silk but like tapestries? I guess would be the best word to describe it. Vividly colored tapestries.