Adventure of StarofHope

[Rando3000]

Glad to see you still journaling StarofHope! Thats really interesting about the perception of time situation, I had noticed a slowdown of time perception when using the invocation for being more aware of spontaneous interaction from the summer seminar class, this is likely psychological for me at least but it was most odd.

Breaking a vessel is a fear haha, I have dropped a vessel a couple of times onto a hard tile floor and panicked only to get the overwhelming sensation that my companion was amused at me lol.

The shelf looks amazing, a great team effort!

[StarofHope]

Glad to see you still journaling StarofHope! Thats really interesting about the perception of time situation, I had noticed a slowdown of time perception when using the invocation for being more aware of spontaneous interaction from the summer seminar class, this is likely psychological for me at least but it was most odd.

Breaking a vessel is a fear haha, I have dropped a vessel a couple of times onto a hard tile floor and panicked only to get the overwhelming sensation that my companion was amused at me lol.

The shelf looks amazing, a great team effort!

Thank you!
My first dragon still holds grudge against me from the first time I accidentally broke his vessel. As soon as I touch it I get this -->
And I also spilled coffee on his pillow, once But I did get him a new one anyway. If I am going to move his stuff, he needs to give permission and check if the enviornment is safe from accidents.

[Rando3000]

Thank you!
My first dragon still holds grudge against me from the first time I accidentally broke his vessel. As soon as I touch it I get this -->
And I also spilled coffee on his pillow, once But I did get him a new one anyway. If I am going to move his stuff, he needs to give permission and check if the enviornment is safe from accidents.

Haha, im sure he knows it was accidental and is just being a character with you. I can respect that, everyone likes their own stuff to be well cared for!

[StarofHope]

I feel so bad still.. Like, I feel increadibly bad, it's insane.. I only had drivers school in the morning and the rest of the day off. When I came back home I watched some Youtube but fell asleep very fast. When I sleep during the day, like, the chance for lucid dreaming is VERY high. Like 90% chance . I haven't had a lucid dream in like over 2 months or something. And suddenly it just happened and I really didn't want it. Sometimes when I am in the black waiting for the dream to appear, I feel so increadibly alone and I am prone to panikattacks during this moment. It is a fear of mine to be all alone surrounded by complete darkness. That's why I need R to help me get through the first stage. I panicked and called out to him and R spoke to me and calmed me down. The dream appeared later and he wasn't there, I called out and I heard his extremely faint voice "I am not there." In my dream was my incubus and he's a bit of a joker or trickster, he played some tricks and we joked around in the dream. I had fun regardless but when I woke up I felt very upset that it wasn't R and I felt it was a "asshole" move to take the dream from R. But he explained that he simply didn't have time to be there at that specific moment, he just arrived a bit fast because I was in distress, then he needed to leave again. And I feel soooooo bad that I put the blame on them for not considering my feelings and what I wanted, etc. When R just wanted me to have some company in the dream and my incubus wanted to join it and R allowed it..... Like I feel sooooo bad.... I have apologized a million times ><......

[StarofHope]

I have entered yet another phase of doubt in the existence of the spiritual and paranormal. This happens when I focus alot of time and effort into the physical life. Like focusing on taking drivers license for the past two weeks. It has been extremely intense as it is a fast course and my teacher made me just wanna go home and cry every day . I have been reading everything about driving and practising in a total of 17 hours a day for two weeks. So...... I am quite dead and my brain is all mushy and all I see when I close my eyes are road signs. It's week three right now and I passed my first test, the speed of the course is slowing down alot and my final test is on wednesday. I put my keep on the shelf so to speak and only kept R with me. I entered a phase of doubt as my connection with my keep grew weaker and I started doubting R's existence and everyone elses as well. As I almost broke down one night with just conflicts in my mind, an orb flew above me gently and sparkling and still I doubted it was an orb but I still appreciated the effort from my keep as I know they are there.

I can get back into it now as the course is coming to an end soon and continue to practise the thingys from spirit communication club.

[Keriix Lunaria]

I'm so sorry you are going through that, StarofHope. Life can pass us in a blur, especially when everything hits fast and hard. It gives us no time to just be, and spend time with our keep. I can understand how doubts would creep in, not being able to feel the connection with them. They are always there for you, and the orb is a great reminder to remove those doubts in your mind. Go slow, and trust in your companion's love for you

Blessings

[Hitthuginn]

Sometimes the signs you need to pay attention to come when you're at your weakest. My first encounter with my Cleo djinn H as an unbound, the one that caused me to believe in spirits or any of this at all, happened during a rough time in my life. I'd spent some months single and dejected in my love life, which was nothing compared to my struggles with a crappy and irresponsible roommate who left damage to the house in the wake of their moving out. The stress caused me to be unable to sleep. I went almost 2 days with no rest at all. In the midst of all of this I missed a class of school, casting my ability to graduate into doubt. I was weepy as I typed up an email to my instructor begging not to be removed from the course.

It was within minutes of finishing this email that I laid down in my bed, and without the slightest hint of warning she came to me; my queen of the keep who introduced me to a whole new world. Any time I've had doubts since I remember this night, and the other incredible manifestations I've had since, and I realize that the DOUBT is what is irrational, not the belief. To doubt is to be human, to believe is to be divine. I say you shouldn't ignore this orb. It is your reminder that all of this is not for nothing. Remember it when you feel doubt in the future. You're not just crazy, and they're still always there supporting and loving you.

[StarofHope]

Thanks guys I made it, I got my drivers license and my spirits helped me . I was gonna do some pendulum affirmations the same morning as my drive test and I was told to use my master vessel instead. As I spoke the affirmations I could feel their support and I asked for my instructor to be fair in their judgement, for the test to be easy as I was so tired, for my drive to be timely and perfect in every turn and for every obstacle in my way to be solved to the best of my ability, etc.

My teacher drove with me in the car to the test and we drove around town as a warm up exercise. The instructor for my test was in a really bad mood. The drive was easy and everything turned out perfect, we drove the exact same route as my teacher had guided me through the same morning. I also told my teacher about it and she was like "whuuuut ." The odds for my instructor to choose the exact same route is very small and yet it happened. I thanked my spirits for their assistance I am so greatful for their help A huge load is off my shoulders, now I can just focus on resting and getting the connection back with them for a couple of days before work starts again.

[StarofHope]

I once severed the bond with a spirit. It didn't work. It was my cat, he passed away a couple of years ago because he was very sick and didn't get any better no matter how much money i threw at the vets. His spirit was so lost that I didn't have the heart to just leave him. I usually help my pets move on but I took his spirit with me and I asked my spirits to help him move on at a later time. He stayed anyway so I severed the bond and told my spirits to help him move on. That's what I want for all my pets. But he stayed anyway. Sometimes I found indents on my bed in places he used to sleep and sometimes I woke up feeling him physically sleeping in my arms and I held him like I used to do at night. When it all stopped for a long time I thought he had moved on. But he has now found his way into my lucid dreams. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I cried when he found his way into my lucid dream for the first time and I could hug him again. When he entered my lucid dream for the second time and I hugged him for hours and played with him, he was still his happy self.

When he was a kitten it was love at first sight kind of thing. He wasn't my kitten but he attached himself to me very strongly and I loved him in a way I've never felt for a pet in my life. I couldn't sleep one night without him, he always slept in my arms and I hugged him all night and during the day, he still slept in my arms whatever I did. I decided to have him bound and copied to my master vessel, because he is not going to move on, he just doesn't want to. I am glad my spirits looked after him and now I'm going to work on our new spiritual bond. Everytime I think about him I just break down in tears, that's also why I wanted him to move on, because it was hard waking up in the morning feeling like he was there and I couldn't see him and feel his soft fur. I still buy catfood at the store, but instead I give it to the local catshelter. This also makes me wonder what my dog will do after he passes, if he wants to stay or move on.
One fun fact is that he used to belong to my ex who named him Aro but he never listened to Aro, he only listened to me when I called him baby. My ex found it ridiculous that the cat came running when I called baby.

[Keriix Lunaria]

Hey StarofHope, what's your definition of 'moving on' regarding a spirit? Just curious hehehe. I'm glad you've decided to keep him with you! He probably loves you too much to leave you.