Noctua wrote:Here you say you have these fantasies, you are attracted to this, but aren't proud of yourself. To say you aren't proud of yourself for it suggests that you think it's a problem. If you think it's a problem, you're being repressive of your sexual interests.
In my country and in my family (orthodox christians), having sexual attraction towards the same sex (transgender girls/shemales) is considered weird, wrong and shameful. Even if you have this kind of tendency, you must suppress it. So this must be deep rooted in my personality, because of the way I have been raised. I'm young, I'm open, more liberal than conservative and in this moment, it is just a mere curiosity, a simple fetish. I don't know how I would react if I would end up in bed with a tranny girl. I also love my wife and I don't want to cheat on her. She knows about this, but she accepts me the way I am, because she loves every aspect of me.
Noctua wrote:Also, how do you validate that you are communing with him when you conduct automatic writing sessions? Are you skilled in energy discernment? Do you use other forms of mancy?
I don't know for sure, but he gave me a lot of personal/specific details about him. That's why I came here to ask.
I can feel his energy, when he is around. He is more powerful than his "helpers". I have a lot of spiritual activity in my house, because I'm very open to it, I accept it and I'm not scared.
Noctua wrote:Make no mistake, he is not 'a dude'. He is a demonic god. It doesn't seem like you are granting that enough respect.
Demonic god or not, he came to me and not vice-versa. He is a very chill spirit and accepts my erratic behavior and my idiotic questions. Maybe he is attracted to my personality. I don't know him very well.. I didn't even know much about him before, that's why I'm here.