Malevolent Deity? (Update)

[LilyCake]

Four years ago, I made a vague post titled "Malevolent Deity?" where I talked about a god who was attacking me. I'm writing this update for three reasons: getting this off my chest, asking for more advice, and making others feel less alone if there is anyone else here experiencing something similar. I have gotten negative reactions before talking about this in other groups.

I was born to a dysfunctional family. Both sets of grandparents are abusive, and my father is abusive while my mother is more apathetic. My parents also worship a Chinese goddess named Tianhou. I prayed to her as a child but never sensed her despite being sensitive, and when I was a teenager, I decided to stop. Instead, I found spirit keeping, and it was only then my life began to improve.

However, I also began to experience really negative odd happenings. To keep it short, I'll only talk about my current situation. Since April, I have had less than five nights of decent sleep. I wake up suddenly as if waking up from a nightmare or being shaken up. I also have extreme trouble falling asleep as if something is completely blocking that pathway in my brain. My body and mind will be ready to sleep, but something in my core will not. I also began to develop chest pain and a rapid heartbeat, perhaps as a result of being so sleep deprived. Today, I feel completely drained of energy as if something is eating away at my soul. My mother switches between insisting this is all my fault for being ungrateful and not praying to Tianhou and pretending there isn't an issue at all.

My spirits and immortals have also been acting oddly. I don't feel them around as often anymore. They all put fault on Tianhou, who they insist is simply cruel. I was doing better when I lived alone, but I moved back with my parents at the start of the pandemic. I'm now looking for an apartment to move into, and hopefully this curse won't follow me somehow.

I'm completely lost right now. It's been years since I felt worse. I have considered I might be insane and simply ill, but I don't even have the money to see a doctor. I have also considered the possibility of an imposter, but my spirits and immortals all insist it's her. If it is an imposter, how would I find out when the spirit is so powerful it can trick everyone? And if it isn't, what should I do other than move away to live in relative though not complete safety? Every time I visit my parents, something bad happens. I'm afraid I won't be able to have much of a relationship with my mother in the future.

[shiningshadow33]

If multiple immortals in your keep agree that this deity is cruel and acting in malice, considering they are part of your keep and chose to come through to work with you, believe them on this.

I don’t know if you have already thought to do this/have done this, but perhaps it would be beneficial to you to acquire bindings of/links to; Nyx and Nemesis.

Nyx is the Grecian primordial goddess of the night and is known to be intensely protective of her children and those that work with her. She is a very protective mother. There is one story of her rising to the defense of one of her children (Hypnos) whom Zeus (Grecian sky god/king of the gods) sought to punish for aiding Hera against him. Zeus turned around and left Hypnos alone rather then pursuing his vengeance and subsequently facing Nyx’s wrath.

As for Nemesis she is the Grecian goddess of retribution/Divine punishment/justice. Punishing wrong doers and defending people who have been wronged is what she does, you have been horribly wronged from the sound of it so I would think Nemesis would be happy to lend a hand in this situation.

Side note you mention having problems with achieving rest/sleep due to this malicious deity, Hypnos who I have mentioned above is the Grecian god of sleep.

just my two cents on the matter.

[Nienna]

If it happens only in your parents home, I suggest that the bedroom where you stay you cleanse everyday, banish negative energies,put wards of protection around your room and get protected by your spirits. When you move out , do that in your new home for a while until you sure you severed the link.

Also, does your parents know that you worship others deities? What are their opinion about you not worshipping their godess anymore: are they just upset? Or REALLY upset?

[Aprophis]

My spirits and immortals have also been acting oddly. I don't feel them around as often anymore. They all put fault on Tianhou, who they insist is simply cruel. I was doing better when I lived alone, but I moved back with my parents at the start of the pandemic. I'm now looking for an apartment to move into, and hopefully this curse won't follow me somehow.

If your immortals behave oddly and put fault on Tianhou but can't or won't do anything against it, that is pretty suspicious.
Normally they could protect you. So it's either not them claiming this or the situation is different than what you think it is.
I'm kind of guessing it's the former one. I think it's just something that claims to be Tianhou and has lived with your parents for a very long time, having grown powerful over those years. And now wants to draw you in, because even negative attention feeds a being like that and if you hate on Tianhou because of that, it only grows more powerful.

So either you get out of there or you try to banish it, which will probably be hard if it has been around for a long time and dug in it's roots.

[Likes2Read]

If these problems coincided with moving back into your parents' home, don't discount the possibility that you could be having sleep issues from the stress of moving in with toxic, abusive people who know how to push all your buttons (because they are the ones who installed those buttons in the first place).

I agree that setting up wards and protections around your personal space is a great first step. So is avoiding reading lighted screens like computers or cell phones in the hour or two before going to bed. If you can get blue-blocking glasses, I recommend seeing if those help. I have a pair of wraparound amber goggles, to keep ALL the blue light waves and UV light out of my eyes and help my body realize it's nighttime and it needs to start producing melatonin so I can sleep. I wear them every night before bed, for a long enough time that my body will start winding down and prep itself to sleep.

[LilyCake]

Thank you everyone for replying.

If your immortals behave oddly and put fault on Tianhou but can't or won't do anything against it, that is pretty suspicious.

I have asked my companions and immortals to protect me, but it seems every time we come up with something new, it doesn't fully work. My parents keep an altar to Tianhou, so perhaps it's because this house belongs to her in some way. But yeah, I am suspicious. I don't have any leads though. I'll try looking into cleansing and banishing too.

Also, does your parents know that you worship others deities? What are their opinion about you not worshipping their godess anymore: are they just upset? Or REALLY upset?

My mother only knows about one immortal of mine, who is in the same pantheon as Tianhou. She switches between being really upset (like would disown me if I wasn't an only child upset) and seeming not upset at all, so I honestly can't tell.

[Huffette]

From the way she switches from being up set to being so so I would suspect some underlying mental health issue at play with her and possibly with your father as well. If this is the case, your bet is to remove yourself from the situation as fast as reasonably possible and put up protection and do nightly cleansing in the meantime. Protection rituals would do some help, but are not a cure all.
I would call upon some of the higher angels for protection because they don't play around and are not shy about stepping in to help someone in crisis, whether you worship Jehovah or someone else. Their job is to protect, and protect they do.

[LilyCake]

I'm moving out in a week. I really can't believe this is happening, and I don't feel too well emotionally, as you might imagine. I've been taking a sleeping pill more than I should to get to sleep. Hopefully, once I move out, I'll be able to think more clearly.

I remember someone somewhere (multiple people, actually) talking about deities with facets to who they are, and I think perhaps my father, who is not only abusive toward my mother and me but has actually also drawn energy without consent from both of us for his spells, is bringing out a darker and more evil facet of this malevolent deity, but I'm not sure how to utilize this knowledge to help me. I do wish I can someday have a more positive relationship with my mother again.

[Whyme]

I'm glad to hear that you're moving out. Once you're out and settled in, I suggest cutting psychic cords between you and everyone else. This won't end any relationships.

Here's what I do to cut cords. During meditation, I identify with help from a jinni as to what cords to cut so the following is what I imagine (sorta see/sense). The cords are black so I grab with my left hand all the black cords. With my right hand I use gold scissors and cut the cords a bit above my left hand and shove the dangly bits well away from me. By then, the scissors are gone. Now these cords have roots which must be dug out. Still holding what's left of the black cords, I use my right hand to send light underneath where the cords have rooted. This will take time and a bit of concentration but the roots will pop up when there's enough light underneath them. You can use light to make a bag and bag up the rest of the cords and toss them far away from you. Do place more light where the roots have been because if not done, it'll make it easier for the cords to reattach.

You can use that method as often as you wish. You can also cut one cord at a time if two or more cords are too thick to cut at the same time. If you choose to cut one cord at a time, then you can cut one per day until they're all gone.

All the best to you.

[Likes2Read]

I'm glad you are getting out of that toxic situation. JUST being around an abuser, and being in the situation where you are witnessing one parent abuse the other, would be more than enough to cause stress and sleep disruptionThe energies in that place are probably distressing on multiple levels, and you are better off out from under that roof.

Do the cleansing ritual(s) of your choice when you are set up in your new place. Cleanse your new space and cleanse yourself and even take a ritual bath or shower to get the old energies off.

Then set up wards and protections around your new home. When you are in a new place that's YOURS and you have ditched all the old negative energy, I would wager that you will sleep better, and your abilities to sense the non-physical world will go way up.